by Cherrie Lynn
The boys perked up at their first dolphin sighting in the yacht’s wake, and Iris joined them at the stern to watch the animals leap and frolic in the waves. Dylan cackled happily when one of them surged up to tail walk. Iris recorded the whole thing on her cell phone. Even Seger was grinning.
“Now do you get it?” she asked the boys pointedly over Twenty One Pilots’ “Stressed Out” bumping from the speakers. “There’s so much to do and to see when you actually go outside for a few minutes.”
“We go outside,” Seger protested.
“Maybe five minutes a day, if that,” Eli said. “I know we’re stuck on the bus most of the time but you have to take every opportunity you can get. I feel like I can finally breathe out here.”
Iris gave him an appreciative smile. “Me too.”
He’d been drooling over more than her bathing suit; that jet ski had been calling his name ever since he’d set eyes on it. As soon as they anchored, he was on it, Iris up on the flybridge laughing at him as he hot-dogged. Yeah, so he was showing off, and if it was the last damn thing he did, he would get her on this thing before the day was over. She would love it.
The boys were jumping up and down with excitement to ride with him, so Iris got them strapped into their life vests. He took Dylan first, who held on to him for dear life shrieking every time Eli steered into a sharp turn, sending a spray of water several feet in the air. Then he took him back through their wake, jumping the waves. Dylan’s laughter was a balm to the soul. This was what Eli had been waiting the entire trip for.
Then it was Seger’s turn. His oldest was far more aloof and unflappable, but by the end his arms were like a vise around Eli’s midsection, and he had to grin. As Seger was climbing back up onto the boat, Eli looked up at Iris and called, “Your turn.”
Her mouth fell open. “Huh? No. No way.”
“Go, Iris!” Seger said, reaching the top of the ladder and shaking out his hair.
“He has spoken,” Eli said.
“She’s scared,” Dylan put in.
“You’re absolutely right, Dyl. I’m totally scared.”
Eli gave her a crooked grin. “Of what? Even if you fly off, you’ll only hit the water.” He rode a slow circle as if to demonstrate his next words. “I’ll take it easy on you. Let’s go for a ride, terrified.”
She laughed at that. “Good one. And no, I’m betting you won’t take it easy.”
He gave her a long look, and even though his eyes were hidden behind dark glasses, he could veritably watch her body’s reaction to his perusal. She knew exactly what he was thinking, what he was remembering. Despite their distance from each other—she high on the boat and he down on the water—the summer air between them seemed to shimmer with their secrets.
The chemistry he had with this woman was unreal. Pure magic.
“If she’s not going, then I want to go again,” Seger piped up. “I want to drive it, Dad.”
“Not right now, bud. She’s going.”
Iris cocked her chin up at him. “I am, huh?”
“Take every opportunity, right?”
She regarded him stubbornly for a moment, but no further argument seemed forthcoming. She shrugged off her cover-up, left her hat on the couch, and strode to the ladder.
“You’re gonna have fun, Iris!” Dylan assured her with his always maxed-out enthusiasm.
“Mm-hmm,” she said skeptically. “If you dad doesn’t kill me.”
“Haven’t yet,” Eli teased.
Looking sleek and elegant with her hair piled into a bun and her big sunglasses, she climbed down while he pulled up so she could get on the jet ski behind him. She looked far too beautiful to ruin with a wild ride on the water so, true to his word, once her arms went around him, he eased away from the yacht. And he didn’t miss the caressing slide of her fingers over his stomach, pulling the muscles taut.
“Careful,” he warned over the sound of the engine once they were far enough away, and heard her giggle just before her teeth nipped the skin of his back.
From their angle, there was no way anyone on the boat could see, but he knew every moment her hands were on him was an opportunity for him to lose fucking control. He didn’t care. It felt too good, her body pressed behind him, breasts soft against his back. Eli tried not to focus on it, but he swore he could feel her nipples stiffening against his skin.
Maybe this had actually been a bad idea.
That maybe turned into a certainty when she put her lips to his ear, her husky command going straight to his cock. “Faster.”
He gunned the engine, her arms tightening around him, her happy laughter ringing out behind him.
A watercolor evening painted the western sky. Iris watched it shift and darken as the minutes ticked by, her mind contentedly blank. Had she ever been happier in her life? She didn’t think so, but there was no point in trying to remember. Eli sat beside her on the couch, but at a safe distance. She’d spent the better part of the day pressed against him, though, so it was okay. They’d stolen kisses when they could. Exhaustion lapped pleasantly at her limbs. If she could repeat this day for the rest of her life, she would be okay with that. The day couldn’t get any better.
Dinner aboard the yacht had been sweetly spicy mahi mahi, Jasmine rice, and asparagus with sesame dressing. Dessert had been a decadent white chocolate mousse she could still taste.
It was the life.
“Thanks for this,” she told Eli while the boys bickered at the back of the boat. “It’s been the best day ever.”
“Not yet,” he told her, not looking at her but tilting his head toward her. “Not until I can sneak to your stateroom tonight.”
Inwardly, she shivered, but at least she could attribute the flush creeping up her cheeks to the sun she’d been in all day. “Aw, we have to be quiet again?”
“It’s a sacrifice I’m willing to make.”
She’d been wrong. The day could definitely get better. With a smile, Iris tilted her head back and watched the stars begin to peek out, one by one. Out here on the ocean, far away from prying eyes and their questionable future, she could finally let herself relax, could finally let herself dream that maybe everything would turn out okay.
“Dad? My stomach really hurts.”
Dylan’s pronouncement shattered that peace like a stone dropping into a still pond. Snapping to attention, she sat up and eyed the boy from head to foot. He’d seemed okay since mentioning his pain earlier, and she hadn’t thought of it again, hoping it had worn off. But now his little downturned mouth and flushed skin worried her. He’d barely touched dinner, which wasn’t unusual, but he’d even turned down dessert. Which was.
His dad pulled him onto his lap, Dylan curling up and laying his dark head on his chest. Iris caught Eli’s eye with a frown. “Does he feel hot?”
“Yeah, but we’re all hot.”
“I would take his temperature, but I left my thermometer on the bus.” Dammit. I should be prepared for this. She had his EpiPen on her at all times, of course, but had thought surely they could make it through one night without needing to check for a fever.
Eli ruffled his hair. “I’m sure he’s fine.”
Maybe, or maybe it was nothing but another bout of stomach flu coming on, but Iris wasn’t convinced. “Dyl, show me exactly where it hurts.”
The boy sat up and pointed toward his belly button.
“And it’s gotten worse all day?”
He nodded, and she went through every question in her arsenal, not wanting to interrupt their evening over a case of gas or constipation. But she didn’t think either of those things would have Dylan in such distress.
Iris took the boy’s hand. “I want you to lie on the couch, and I’m going to press on your tummy a little bit.”
Once he settled on his back, she pushed gently on his right side. “Does that hurt?”
“No.”
Seger wandered over to watch, a frown on his face that made him look older than he was, made him look incre
dibly like his dad.
“Now tell me if this hurts.” She quickly released the pressure.
“Ow.” The boy’s eyes filled with tears, giving merit to the last suspicion she’d wanted to entertain. She helped him sit up and hugged him tight.
“I’m sorry, baby, I didn’t want it to hurt. Eli, we should get him to the ER, okay? Just to be safe.”
She expected him to argue in his usual bullheaded manner. He’d never struck her as anything but the kind of dad who wouldn’t consider a doctor visit without visible blood. Instead, he studied her face for a moment, looked down at his ailing son with deepening concern, and nodded. “Whatever you think. I’ll tell the captain to take us back.”
Iris didn’t have time to feel relief at that particular milestone. Appendicitis was nothing to mess around with.
Thirty-six
Elijah hadn’t stepped foot inside a hospital since Dylan was born. Aside from his mother’s battle with cancer, his friends and family were healthy, so there had never been a reason to go aside from the births of his children. Times of joy. To be here now because Dylan was sick, he could plainly see why people hated the places so much. The waiting, the fear. His baby, so small lying on the table, being poked and prodded by doctors. Iris, looking pale, chewing her thumbnail into the quick though she kept on an optimistic face for Dylan’s sake.
What the fuck would he have done if she hadn’t been here?
He would have sought help for Dylan if his pain hadn’t resolved, but he might not have done it so soon. He wouldn’t have known what to check for. And he would have felt so fucking alone. The helplessness was bad enough.
The doctors ordered an ultrasound and, when they didn’t like what that showed them, a CT scan. After that, everything was a blur of words no parent ever wanted to hear. Acute appendicitis. Surgery. Necessary. Immediately.
Dylan’s situation was fairly common and the surgery routine, the doctor assured him, but the man’s words echoed hollowly in Eli’s mind. Routine, yeah, but these people, people he’d never met before, far away from home, were going to put his little boy to sleep. They were going to cut him. Open him up. Take part of him out.
“Eli? He’s going to be okay,” Iris murmured at his side as the doctor left, her sweet, low voice reaching through his misery, wrapping around his heart. Her hand found his and squeezed, their protocol broken all to hell, but he didn’t care. Fuck it. He needed her right now.
“I have to call Heidi,” he heard himself say. Calling him wasn’t a courtesy she had extended when Dylan had experienced anaphylactic shock, but he wouldn’t sink to her level. Dylan wanted his mother.
“I already did, right after the doctor talked to us the first time and I stepped out for a minute, remember? Get this: she and Nic were in the Keys. So she’ll be here soon, probably any minute.”
Necessary or not, facing his ex-wife was not an idea he relished. “All right. Thanks.”
The whirlwind of nurses and doctors and medical jargon had stilled for a moment, leaving him and Iris alone. She looked small and lost, and when her eyes flickered up to meet his, tears welled and spilled over her cheeks. What’s wrong? would be the dumbest question he could possibly ask given the circumstances, but he asked it anyway.
“I can’t face her,” she whispered, her lashes dropping as she looked at the floor. She didn’t let go of his hand. “I can’t. Not after what I’ve done.”
Iris was so blameless in his eyes that for a moment her words didn’t compute. “What you’ve done? You didn’t do any of it alone. But you were the one who got my stubborn ass to see that Dylan needed real help. You’re the hero here, and don’t you dare forget that.”
“But with you and me, I made every choice to take this further than it should have gone. In that, I acted alone. Me. Only me.”
Now she was fucking scaring him. “Iris.”
She lifted her eyes to him again, panic dawning in their depths as if she wanted to dart away at any given second. She opened her mouth once, then closed it. Then again, as if she couldn’t settle on which words to use to rip his frigging heart out, as if that particular organ hadn’t been trampled enough today.
“What do you want?” he asked, dreading the answer with all of his being.
“You. You’re what I want. You and Dylan and Seger . . . I want the past few weeks to be my reality forever, but I can’t have that. Reality is about to walk through those doors any minute now.” She pulled her hand away, the loss of its softness like a gut punch.
“Don’t do this now. Think it through, Iris. Leaving would be the most suspicious thing you could do. It won’t make any sense for you not to be here, and you know it.”
“Leaving will be the only thing I can do once she knows the truth.”
“But she doesn’t, and she won’t.”
“I have to tell her.”
Eli rubbed both palms hard down his face, unable to even contemplate the shitstorm Iris would release if she did this now. Hell, it wouldn’t be a shitstorm. It would be a total shitpocalypse. “Jesus Christ, baby. This isn’t the time.” There had never been a worse time.
“When is the time, though? After I’ve looked her in the eyes and lied a few more days? Weeks? After Dylan is better, when she learns that I stared her in the face this whole time without her knowing what I’ve done? It’s already bad enough talking on the phone with her, but I’m about to see her and . . .” She trailed off, dropping her mouth into her hand.
“I know it’s eating at you, but you don’t have to do this alone. If you want her to know, we’ll tell her. We’ll do it together. I’m not letting you go through that by yourself, I promise. All I ask is that we not do it now. Not today.”
But he saw clearly that she was coming unraveled. “Is this my fault?” she asked, her voice tiny and scared. “I feel like I don’t know myself anymore. And it’s because of me and my selfishness that Dylan—”
He caught her face in his hands, not giving a fuck at that moment if Heidi walked in the door or not. Not caring who saw or what they might think. “Get that karma bullshit out of your head right now. Bad shit happens, Iris, and there’s no rhyme or reason to it. Good people get sick and die while assholes grow old and gray. But even if there were something to it, even if we do reap what we sow on some cosmic plane, I know that isn’t the case with us, honey, because nothing about us is wrong. It can’t be, because with you, for the first time in my life, I finally feel like I’m getting it right.”
A steady stream of tears slipped over her cheeks as he spoke. He wanted more than anything to have time to hold her, kiss them all away, drive out all the nonsense plaguing her mind, banish it for good. “You’re only rattled because you’re scared for Dylan,” he told her. “We both are, even though you and I know he’s a tough kid and he’ll be fine. Focus on that. Don’t even give Heidi another thought. Don’t even speak to her if you don’t have to. She doesn’t matter right now. If nothing else, remember this: Dylan damn sure wants you here, and he’ll be so sad when he wakes up if he has to hear that you’re gone.”
Finally, he’d broken through. She dissolved into sobs, but they were deep, cleansing ones, and she nodded while he resisted every urge to draw her into his arms. “Just get through this with me,” he said. “Please. When it’s all over, I’m taking you away from all this, baby girl. I’m gonna show you the world, I’m gonna tell everyone I know all about you, and I can’t wait. It’ll be worth it, Iris. I’ll make it worth it. Hold on to that.”
She nodded again, but he saw the uncertainty, something he never wanted to see written on her sweet face. She was made to be adored and cherished, completely and unendingly, and she should always know it. He was desperate for her to know it. Casting a quick glance around to see that there was no one watching them too closely, he leaned in and kissed her, feeling her shiver against him. But he had to keep it cruelly brief, stepping away just as her weight was beginning to lean into him, seeking more. “Okay now?” he murmured.
She nodded. “I think so.”
“Good. I need to step out and make some calls. We’ll have to cancel the show tomorrow. There’s no way around it. Can you stay with Dylan?”
She wiped under her eyes, which were still red along with her cheeks. “Of course.”
“I’ll be back as soon as I can.”
Only later would he realize what a grave mistake it was to leave her.
IT’LL BE WORTH IT, she told herself. He’d said so. She knew what she felt, what he made her feel, and he was right.
Surrounded by the glaring clinical atmosphere, it was hard to be optimistic. Sunny blue breezes had turned into hard, medical reality.
God, Dylan, please, please be okay.
She looked down at his sweet little face and hated that he was here with every fiber of her being. He looked so tiny in the bed, so pale against the white sheet and hospital gown. It could be worse, she knew that; he could be here for something far more dangerous. She’d seen that before. It could always be worse. But dammit, sometimes it could be a hell of a lot better too.
“You’re gonna have a cool scar,” Seger assured his little brother. “I wish I could have one.”
“Don’t say that,” Iris told him. “That’s the last thing we need.”
“Where’s Dad?” Dylan asked, apparently unimpressed at the thought of his new scar.
“He had to make some phone calls. He’s canceling his shows so he can be right here with you.”
“Is my mom coming?”
“You bet. She’ll be here soon.” She tried to keep her voice bright even though the words made her stomach churn with acidic dread. She felt like throwing up.
Nothing had to be revealed today—Eli was right about the timing of that—but she wasn’t sure how much longer she could exist under this massive weight. It had been all fun and games until Heidi had said she was coming. Would be here any minute. Bombshell beautiful and the mother of Elijah’s children, the woman to whom she was supposed to be unquestionably loyal. The woman who had given her a life she adored.
