The Winter We Collided: A Small Town Single Dad Romance (Ocean Pines Series Book 2)

by Victoria Denault

  “Look, it’s enough to get her an emergency hearing. You can present the specifics there,” Manuel replies. “But you’re not living in your house full-time, you’re leaving River with people he doesn’t know, and you’re disobeying some simple rules Bethany had laid out for you like no visitors other than family. So I’ve got to be honest. This doesn’t look good for you, Logan.”

  “I didn’t plan on the house next door going up in flames.”

  “Look,” Manuel says flatly. “My main concern here is that if you’re going to have River on overnights, you need to have a stable, consistent home base, and you don’t seem to have that.”

  “I’m still renting the apartment,” I argue. “I mean, for now.”

  “For now isn’t a consistent home, Logan,” Manuel explains. “Look, until the hearing I’m suspending River’s overnight visits.”

  “Well, when is the hearing?”

  “I’ll email you as soon as I know. We can probably get one before new year’s.” He sighs. “Look, I like you Logan, which is why I had to call you and talk to you about this instead of just emailing you. But this…well, you’ll need character witnesses to prove that what happened with that accident is not who you are now. It’s not who you will ever be again.”

  He hangs up, and I am shaking with rage. “They suspended my overnights with River. Bethany somehow found out about the car crash.”

  For the first time in a very long time, I want a drink. I want twenty. I look up at Jake. “I’d like to take you up on that offer. I need to go to a meeting. I’m losing everything right now, including my grip on sobriety.”

  “Go. Do you need me to drive you?”

  “No. But thanks,” I stop and hug him. He hugs me back tightly. “Can you make Cap understand?”

  “Of course,” he says back. “Go.”

  I take off in a jog to the changing room, texting Cookie on the way to see if she’s heading to the meeting at the church nearby. She texts back almost immediately and says she will meet me there. I hate leaving work early, but I would be no good to anyone at work in my current state of mind. When I get out to the parking lot, a horn lets out a short honk. I turn and see Terra’s Ford F150. Yeah, the tiniest Hawkins drives the biggest vehicle. Her window drops. “Get in.”

  “I’m going to—”

  “I know. I’m your lift,” she says. “Jake called me. He said you didn’t want a lift, but we both know that when a drunk is that desperate for a meeting, they’re equally desperate for a drink. And I’m not letting you drive to this meeting in case you find yourself driving to a bar instead.”

  I smile. “I’m okay,” I promise but climb into her passenger seat anyway.

  “I know you’re okay, and I’m helping you stay that way,” Terra says and pulls out into traffic. “Jake said Bethany knows about the car crash? Who told her? Would Chloe do that?”

  “No. Chloe would never, I’m sure of it,” I say and I’m confident. Whatever does or doesn’t happen with Chloe and I going forward, I know she wouldn’t contribute to taking River away from me. She just wouldn’t.

  “How the hell did she find out then?”

  “Your guess is as good as mine,” I reply and lean my head back against the seat.

  “I’m not going to guess, I’m going to find out, even if it means I have to hire Aspen to get to the truth, I will.,” Terra replies, her voice fierce. “And why is Bethany so fucking vindictive?”

  “Well, I’m not helping myself either because I guess Manuel, the social worker, went by my place and I’m not there, which isn’t allowed,” I see the church up ahead on the left and glance at the clock on her dash. Meeting starts in ten minutes. “I have to go.”

  I jump out and wave goodbye, but in typical Terra-fashion, she doesn’t pull away until I’m inside the church. I start to shrug out of my jacket as people wander in. Cookie is already at the coffee station, pouring herself a cup. She’s in a hot pink, faux fur stole and jeans with sequins down the seams on the sides. She sees me, pulls off her mirrored sunglasses, and waves. I walk over and join her. Her dark eyes are soft. “I’m glad you called me.”

  “Thanks for coming. I wanted to talk to you before the actual meeting,” I say and she nods and hands me the coffee pot.

  As I add cream and sugar, she steeps a cup of tea for herself. “I’m always here for you, sweetheart. Let’s find a secluded spot.”

  I follow her as she passes the chairs for the meeting and makes her way to a small bench in the back corner by the doors to the main part of the church where services are held. She sits and pats the empty spot beside her. “What’s on your mind?”

  I take a deep breath as I sink down onto the bench. “Step five is on my mind.”

  “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs,” Cookie says because she knows it by heart like I do. She takes a sip of her tea and levels her stare at me. It’s calm, non-judgmental. “Are you ready to do that now?”

  I nod. “I’ve always said that my family finally got me to agree to go to rehab after my friend killed himself and someone else in a drunk driving accident. That’s true, but what I’ve never said…out loud to any human being until recently…is that I was in the car with him when it happened.”

  No gasps. No dropping jaws. No accusing stares. Cookie doesn’t react at all. She just waits for me to continue. So I do. I tell her all about that night. “I was encouraged not to talk about it. I thought I was helping my family the only way I could, by keeping the secret. But I have owned that crash like I was the one behind the wheel. Because I got in that car to wait for Bryan. I ended up passing out, but would I have stopped him from driving? I don’t know. I’ll never know. But I do know that I was in a car that killed a man, and injured his wife, and admitting that, to you and in this meeting later tonight, is finally telling my whole truth. Maybe that will let me release some of this guilt.”

  Cookie immediately grabs my hand. “Oh, how I wish I’d had your strength of character when I was your age. Then maybe I wouldn’t have lost custody of my babies to my ex.”

  “Not necessarily, because I did anyway. Sort of,” I reply and explain to her what’s happening with River.

  “I am coming to that custody hearing, Logan,” Cookie says. “I can be a character witness.”

  “That’s so sweet of you to offer, Cookie,” I hug her again. “I’ll keep you posted.”

  The room is filling up now, and the meeting is about to start. We both stand, and she lets go of my hand. “Logan, you didn’t make the decision to let Bryan drive.”

  “But—”

  She holds up her hand, silencing me. “We can only deal with facts, not buts or maybes. The fact is you did not make the decision. Stop torturing yourself.”

  I nod and we grab seats at the back as the meeting is called to order. When it’s time for people to share, I share. I tell everyone in the room everything I’ve been keeping locked inside. Everything. Even the part about ending up in love with the woman who was in the car. The woman whose husband died. Cookie didn’t know that part, and I try not to notice how her mouth drops open and her eyes widen in shock.

  After the meeting, Cookie drives me back to the fire station. “Logan, it’s a horrible twist of fate that it was Chloe’s husband and Chloe in that car.”

  “Yeah,” I sigh and stare out the window and explain the details to her. “I’m staying at Jake’s because Chloe needs some time to process this.”

  “I bet she does,” Cookie murmurs and says nothing for a while until she pulls up to the fire house doors. Then she turns to look at me. “The worst moments of both your lives are intertwined, and neither of you knew it. That’s a lot to deal with—for both of you.”

  I nod. “I know.”

  “You’re dealing with it, and so will she,” Cookie pats my hand. “And if she can’t…well, you’ll be okay, Logan. It won’t feel that way at first, but you will.”

  I don’t say anything. I don’t want to
think about Chloe leaving my life forever.

  “Let’s get this River thing sorted, and then we will figure out the Chloe stuff.” Cookie reaches across the front seat and hugs me, patting my back soothingly. “One day at a time, Logan. One step at a time. I’ve got your back day and night. Just call.”

  “Thanks, Cookie,” I get out of her car and make my way toward the fire station. I watch my feet as I trudge across the snowy walkway. Cookie is right, one step at a time. For now I have to believe everything will work out with River and with Chloe because the thought of losing either is crushing.

  29

  Chloe

  Aspen and Mitch both come over a couple evenings later after I refuse to leave the house to meet them anywhere. Aspen brings chicken soup from my favorite deli, and Mitch brings chocolate chip cupcakes with fudge icing.

  I make us all a pot of tea, and then I dive into the cupcakes. I’m halfway through my second one when they finally speak.

  “I’m not at all a romantic,” Mitch begins stirring his tea, pinkie out. “I don’t believe in true love or soulmates or destiny or fate. I believe in simple, drama-free relationships, physical not emotional. This thing with you and Logan is the polar opposite of that, so normally I would say run like the wind. But…I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I think you need to find a way past this. Together.”

  “I think that too sometimes, but how? I mean I know Logan. I truly believe he isn’t the guy now that he was then,” Aspen adds, and it’s almost amusing how they’re having this conversation essentially without me even though I’m right here. “How does she look at him now and not think of losing her husband? And how does Logan look at her and not remember the biggest mistake of his life?”

  “Think about it this way,” Mitch begins as he reaches for a cupcake himself. “Have you ever seen the movie Point Break?”

  “That one about bank robbing surfers?” I ask, and he nods. “Yeah, I’ve seen it.”

  “Keanu is level ten hot in that thing,” Aspen adds.

  “Stay on track, my little horny preggo friend,” Mitch tells her and turns back to me as he peels the wrapper from his cupcake. “Do you remember how, when the Bodhi character finds out Keanu’s character is an undercover cop he forces him to join them on a bank heist?”

  “Sure…he kidnapped Keanu’s girlfriend to get him to do it,” Aspen replies.

  “The reason doesn’t matter. The fact is Keanu’s character was forced to be part of the robbery. Now let’s pretend it’s real and you’re in the bank with your husband, and one of the other robbers shoots someone. Do you blame Keanu for it?” Mitch drops the cupcake wrapper back into the box. “No. You don’t, do you?”

  “He’s essentially a hostage himself so, no,” I say, and Aspen nods in agreement as she stares at Mitch, just as bewildered as I am over where this is going.

  “Logan was essentially a hostage too,” Mitch asks and runs a finger through the icing on his cupcake and pops it in his mouth. “He was unconscious and had no idea anyone was going to drive. He passed out expecting to wake up at the bar. Logan is Keanu. Forgive him.”

  Mitch, done with his elaborate example, bites into the cupcake he’s holding, consuming half of it in one bite. I sigh. “Yes, but in your scenario I’m not just some random person who runs into Keanu after the fact and falls in love. I’m the widow of the man that was shot and killed in the robbery.”

  “You are,” Aspen agrees but then she sighs dramatically. “But all I know is the happiness and hope I saw in you for the very first time since I met you…that can’t be a mistake or wrong. I, unlike our pessimistic friend Mitch, believe in fate and destiny, and you and Logan had to have been brought together for a reason. Nothing that feels that right is wrong. The end.”

  “If only it were that simple.” I sigh and sip my Earl Grey. “When we look at each other now, it’s all we see, and I know it’s both of us. Not just me. I remind him of the worst thing he’s ever done.”

  There’s the distinct sound of a car pulling into the driveway, and I sit up straighter. The car engine cuts out and then I hear a door slam, and I stand up. Aspen and Mitch watch me. “Who is it?” Aspen asks.

  “I don’t know.” I say as I walk toward the window. If I rubbed a magic lamp and had three wishes right this instant, all of them would be that the person in my driveway is Logan. But there’s no magic lamp, and the Universe isn’t granting my wishes. It’s not Logan. It’s Terra getting out of the truck.

  “What is going on Chloe?” Mitch asks. “Don’t make me get up. I’m digesting carbs. I need to rest.”

  “Logan’s sister Terra is here,” I say, my voice a disbelieving whisper.

  Because inside I feel like my heart is being locked into a tiny little box, and the key is about to be thrown away. This isn’t the first time I’ve felt like this. Logan opened that box, and now, if this ends with him, that box will be locked again. Forever.

  Controlled by my heart not my brain, my feet start moving me toward the front door. I have no idea why I’m putting on my coat and boots. What will I possibly say to Terra? But I feel like I have to say something. Aspen and Mitch are silent as they watch me. They don’t say a word or stop me or follow me as I head outside. Terra is standing at the bottom of my stairs about to climb when she sees me and stops. I walk down to meet her. As I descend, I see my friends in the living room window, pressed up against the glass like two puppies watching their owner.

  We stand at the foot of the stairs, and she gives me a small, friendly, but uncertain smile, and I just explode verbally on her. “The money went to my husband’s older brother. I never saw a dime. I didn’t know about it. I didn’t know Logan was even in the car. So I’ve never had time to deal with my feelings on it. It’s a lot for me to process. I won’t apologize for that—for needing time.”

  Terra pulls me into a hug. I wasn’t expecting that. Or the fact that for a small, lithe person she hugs with the strength of a bear. “I’m a hugger. It’s a horrible genetic trait I inherited from my ma. She hugs everyone. She once hugged the mailman. Anyway, when someone is hurting, I hug.”

  She lets me go and her brown eyes are soft, her face filled with compassion. “I’m studying to be a therapist, but I have to say, I don’t even know how to begin to cope with what this news must do to you. I know that the easiest reaction is anger. It usually is in any situation. And you’re not doing that, blaming him, screaming at him, trying to destroy him. You can admit you still love him, so I’m going to tell you the things Logan won’t. Because he feels like he can never ask for help because he owes everyone and they don’t owe him anything.”

  “What are you talking about? Is he okay? What’s happening?” Did something happen to Logan? I’m suddenly consumed by fear.

  “He doesn’t know I’m here. He’s currently meeting with a lawyer,” Terra says and then she explains that Bethany found out about the crash and me watching River without permission, and she’s challenging the custody agreement. “The hearing is tomorrow. Logan is allowed to have character witnesses. The whole family will be there, obviously, but I think it would serve him even better if non-blood relatives were there to speak to his character. Jake is going and Logan’s sponsor from AA. If you wanted to…if you could go and say anything about that night Logan left River with you, it would be helpful.”

  Terra pulls a piece of paper from the back pocket of her jeans and hands it to me.

  “Here’s the address and time of the hearing,” Terra says and hands it to me. I take it from her, surprised to see my fingers are trembling. She places her hand over mine to quell the shaking and gives me a squeeze. “I know this does nothing to help the conflicting feelings you have. And if you can’t bring yourself to come, no one will understand that better than Logan. Hell, he won’t even ask you because he didn’t want to make things even harder for you. But I’m asking because I think you know that no matter what he’s done in the past, he loves that little boy and has been and will continue to be the bes
t dad he can. Whatever you decide you can and can’t live with, I completely respect. But I don’t want Logan to have to live without River. So I had to ask.”

  She gives me another, short, bone-crushing hug and then disappears back into her truck. I stand there motionless, and when she pulls away, she glances up at the window and calls out. “Hey Barlowe! I need you to investigate something. I’ll text you deets.”

  Aspen nods from the window. Terra climbs back in her truck, and I stand there and watch her drive off. Then I hear my front door open and Mitch call out, “Get in here Chloe!”

  I slowly make my way back upstairs and tell them everything. They both think I should definitely be at that hearing, but I didn’t need their opinion on this. I know it’s the absolute right thing to do. I will go to that hearing. My heart and my conscience may be at war about what I can live with, but both parts of me couldn’t live with knowing I could have said something to help Logan keep his son in his life and I didn’t.

  30

  Logan

  I’m pacing like a caged lion, but I don’t have a choice. My legs, hell my body, won’t stop moving. I am freaking out inside. I can’t even bear to think about losing River. I mean, Bethany fully admitted she doesn’t want to take him away from me completely. She just wants to roll back the visitation thanks to the lies she says I’ve been keeping. She’s not wrong, but she’s not right either. I really hope I can make a clear and concise case and that my family’s input will help. The lawyer I hired—okay technically it’s a lawyer in training who works for free at the legal aid office in Portland—said that family isn’t really the best for swaying a judge because they’re biased. But they’re all I have.

  “Mr. Hawkins, try sitting down,” the lawyer-in-training, Stephanie D’Angelo, says calmly and pats the chair next to her.

  Terra leans forward from her seat behind my lawyer. “Pacing can make you look nervous. Nerves can make you appear guilty or untrustworthy.”