by C L Walker
“I did know prior to the party that I liked you, that night simply assured me that there was no turning back.”
“That doesn’t make sense.” I crawled across his bed and ignored the way he watched me. “You’re so full of it.”
“What can I say, I wanted you the moment I saw you but considering how much you wanted me to stay away from you I figured it was better to deny it. But then I realized breaking down your walls would be worth it. Then after that night, I understood well what I wanted and since then I’ve been dying of curiosity.”
“Curiosity?” I asked, and I settled in beside him. “About what?”
“What it’s going to be like when we take it further than we did that night,” he said casually as he searched through his saved documents.
“You’re motivated by sex!” I accused. “You’re dreaming, bud.”
“I’m motivated by what you do to me.” He continued to look at his laptop instead of me. “But I can wait.”
“That’s funny because last time I checked I don’t want to have sex with you.”
He paused his typing to give me his attention, I regretted what I had said because he looked at me with half closed lids, and a knowing smirk that chased the denial right off my tongue.
“Stop lying to me it’s never going to work.”
“No,” I said, when everything else seemed useless.
I didn’t mean to, but I sighed something seductive when he put his arm behind me and grabbed a handful of my hair and tipped my head back as he leaned over me.
“Come on, what’s the truth?” he asked. “Admit it. You’ve been dying for me to kiss you like I did at the party, haven’t you?”
His breath brushed my mouth, and I opened my lips and licked them to ease their sudden dryness. “The truth is you’re the most domineering, rude, and sexy male I have ever met in my life.”
“And?” He nuzzled my neck before he licked my skin and sent me spiraling over the deep end.
“I kissed you yesterday.” My body instinctively began to sink into his. “So, if I was dying for your kiss, obviously I could just take it for myself.”
“That’s not the kind of kiss that I am talking about, that one was weak, and you know it.” He kissed his way up towards my mouth as I sighed. “And I don’t think you have the guts to take it further yourself.” He traced my bottom lip with his tongue. “So, tell me I’m not greedy for taking from you because you want it too.”
“Fine. I wish you’d stop talking and kiss me.” How easily I crumbled.
Our mouths crashed together. There was nothing gentle about what he was doing to me. When he tugged on my hair, I opened my mouth to say ow, but he used the opportunity and slipped his tongue inside and ran a silky circle around my own. His other hand expertly maneuvered underneath my shirt to caress my skin.
After ten minutes of making out I was ready to take it further but when I reached for his pants he pulled away. Then he ran his thumb across my bottom lip and said something I didn’t want to hear, “Time to get to work.”
“After everything you said, you’re going to stop kissing me in favor of working?” I ran my hand over his stomach and watched as his resolve flickered.
“It has to get done,” he muttered, and he looked down at my hand that was inching dangerously low again.
I had no idea why I was suddenly so bold but every time we touched everything else faded away and I couldn’t remember why I shouldn’t give him my everything. The only problem was that I didn’t know if I was truly ready.
Indecision flashed across his face, and I could tell it was taking all his will to not give in to temptation but in the end, he proved that he was stronger than I was. After about three seconds he grabbed my hand and brought it to his mouth and kissed it before he set it in my lap.
He grabbed his laptop from where it had slid off his lap and busied himself with work.
“You are a tease!” I moved to the other end of the bed because if I had to focus it would be easier if I wasn’t touching him.
“Tease?” he asked without looking up at me. “What is it you were expecting?”
I huffed instead of answering.
“Sex?” When I didn’t answer he looked up at me finally and gave me a pointed look. “I thought that was off the table, just a dream of mine that wasn’t going to happen?”
“I don’t know what I want.”
He snorted. “I didn’t notice.”
“And you do?” I wasn’t the only one who had failed to be upfront about my feelings.
“Have I not made myself clear?”
I shook my head.
“I don’t believe for a second that you don’t know exactly how I feel and what I want.”
“We’ve done nothing but fight and now you’re all over me and I’m not supposed to be confused!” I grabbed a pillow, chucked it at his head and he caught it and threw it back at me and of course it pegged me right in the forehead.
I fell back and laid there until he nudged me with his foot and said, “Quit pouting and get to work, I won’t carry you through this.”
“I hate you.” I sat up.
“Whatever, you love me, and you know it.”
I knew he hadn’t meant it seriously, but his words still made me uncomfortable because I hadn’t told anyone I loved them aside from my family, and when my mother had stopped saying it back, I stopped saying it altogether. And I hadn’t heard the words I, love, and you strung together and directed at me in ten years.
I considered him while he worked and wondered if I could be falling in love with him.
What a disaster that would be.
Twenty-Three
Skylar
Everything seemed as if it were out of my control.
I had so much to think about I couldn’t even choose which to begin with. Did I consider my mother and the fact that our time together was about to end, or did I consider Micah and the fact that he was asking me to do what I had never done before, give someone a chance?
Things with him seemed more pressing because he wasn’t suddenly going to go away. I couldn’t escape him like I could my mother and if I was being honest, I didn’t want to escape him.
I had tried to put up a fight, but it had been a weak one at best.
The truth was I had been cracking for some time. It was impossible not to when he showered me with compliments and touched me like I was the only thing worth touching in this world.
He was thorough in his pursuit, he made sure to temp me with our every encounter.
Especially today…
When I walked out of forth period, he was there waiting for me. He was leaning against the lockers with a smug look on his face. He knew exactly what he had been doing to me all morning.
That is until Devin walked out behind me and stopped me by grabbing my arm. Then Micah had an entirely different look on his face, one that reminded me of his true nature. He was growing impatient with Devin. But from my perspective Devin hadn’t done anything wrong so I in turn was losing my patience with Micah’s growing distaste for him.
I knew that look on his face, it was the same look he had given Jack, a look that said he would rather Devin be buried six feet under than anywhere near me.
“What’s up?” I asked Devin, before I shot Micah a look that told him that he needed to calm down.
“I fell behind with my notes during the video, do you think I could borrow yours?” Devin asked.
I reached into my bag and pulled out my notebook as he tilted his head and leaned in towards me.
“I knew I could count on you to save my ass,” he said as his arm brushed against mine.
I took a step back so that we were no longer touching. “If you would have gotten off your phone during the movie, I wouldn’t have to save you.” I laughed before I ripped the page out and handed it to him. “There you go.”
“Thank you. Next time I won’t be on my phone.” He put his hand up to salute me. “Scout’s honor.”
&n
bsp; “I’ll believe it when I see it.” I put my notebook back in my bag as Micah stepped up to stand beside me. Something about the way he looked at Devin made me grab his hand and pull him away. “See you later, Devin.”
As much as I believed Micah wasn’t violent in general, that he had only acted out in such a way with Jack to protect me, I also knew his anger was a formidable force all of its own and I didn’t know how well he managed it.
“Did you get this pissed at anyone else at your last school constantly?” I asked. “Or perhaps even get into physical fights?”
“Only once when some kid kept calling me racial slurs, but I was twelve and I hadn’t thought about the consequences before I socked him in his jaw.”
“Oh, I don’t blame you there.”
So, the way he was acting was new.
I clearly needed to know more about him, what filled the spaces of his heart and what made him so quick to anger because it didn’t take much for him to snap at least where I was concerned.
Devin’s voice carried down the hallway because he apparently thought it was a good time to say something else to me after our goodbyes.
I didn’t have time to reply because Micah grabbed my hand again and guided me further away.
“You’re so rude to him,” I muttered as I sent Devin an apologetic look.
I knew that I needed to try and be understanding but it was difficult. If Micah acted like that simply because Devin was interested in me then I was going to be irritated because he hadn’t earned the right to be frustrated with other guys hitting on me.
As it was, he was angry and I didn’t understand it, but instead of finding it uncomfortable all I could think about was how sexy he looked and how I wanted that dark look pinned on me. I wanted his anger because I knew it wouldn’t be the same as taking it from anyone else, I somehow knew he would channel it into something pleasing.
As if he read my mind, he twirled me around, and cradled the back of my head, before he pushed me against the wall between two sets of lockers. We hit the cold surface hard, his hand took the brunt of the impact, but he didn’t even flinch before he tipped his face down and kissed me.
It was quick, hot, and it was exactly what I expected from him when he was in a foul mood.
Even though he was upset his hands still found their way to my face and he held it softly as if I were delicate and he was afraid that he might break me.
When we stopped kissing, I considered the wild look on his face. I could tell he was struggling to hold himself back.
“You keep kissing me, but I thought you were waiting for me to kiss you first or beg for it or something?” I asked breathlessly.
“You kissed me first after the pep rally, and then you asked me to when we worked on our project, so I took that as permission to keep doing it.”
“Yes, I did, but I didn’t beg for anything.”
He smiled. “You sort of did that night…”
I looked away shyly. “That’s not fair because I had originally wanted to work on our project, it was your fault for tempting me. It’s always your fault.”
“Truth be told I don’t have the patience for playing silly games with you anymore. The only reason I’ve been holding back at all is because I don’t want to upset you by kissing you in front of others.”
He held my face between his hands again, and I raised mine to cover his. “Then what’s this? We are at school and you were just kissing me like you were about to rip my clothes off and ravish me.”
“This is me loosing even more control.” He leaned his forehead against mine and closed his eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.” I kissed his lips once and I struggled with my own self-control because it was hard to stop kissing him once I began to. “Everybody already knows there’s something going on between us, you’ve made that more than obvious. There’s nothing I can do about it now.”
“You can look me in the face and tell me for real that you want me to leave you alone and I will.” He opened his eyes again and pulled away enough to search my face. “You have to mean it though.”
Here it is… don’t be reckless, tell him to leave you alone…
“I’m not ready to do that.” Hello heartache.
He gave me a sad smile as he pulled away. “Then just let me know when you’re ready to dismiss me.”
“No, I didn’t mean to say–” I stopped speaking when he turned around. The second bell was about to ring, and we needed to get to class.
I followed him inside and once he sat down, he pulled out his phone but clearly didn’t find it a worthy distraction because he put it right back in his pocket.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” I said.
“Understood.” I knew what I said was hurtful, but he didn’t have to be so short with me.
“Understood…really? Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m good,” he said with a tone I didn’t care for.
“No, you’re not. You’ve been angry since we walked away from Devin.” I didn’t mean for it to sound accusatory; I just knew he wasn’t okay. “Did you think I would forget that you rudely pulled me away from him just because you kissed me afterwards?”
He started drumming his fingers on his desk as he looked at everything but me. “No, I wouldn’t try and manipulate you like that. As for Devin, you wouldn’t understand so leave it alone and I’ll try to behave better.”
“Why don’t you try explaining it to me so that I can understand?”
The bell rang and Mr. Burks directed us to get together with our groups and spend the next hour practicing our presentation for our projects.
Micah hopped over his desk and sat backwards in the seat in front of me.
“Well?” I asked, as I was still waiting for an explanation.
He sighed as he leaned back in his seat. “It makes me angry when he talks to you.”
“You have no right to be angry about someone talking to me.” I mistakenly let my own insecurities over what I meant to him into the mix because I couldn’t help myself. But he hadn’t expressed wanting to be in a relationship with me, so I didn’t think he had the right to worry about other guys.
That was clearly the wrong thing to say to him because he tensed up and shut his eyes as he took a deep breath before he said, “Just let me have this one for now, please.”
“Seriously?”
He clenched his jaw as his eyebrows lowered. “Yes, I can’t do this right now.”
“Fine, whatever,” I said in a rude tone as I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest.
“Thank you, Sky,” he said sarcastically as his fist crashed down onto my desk. “For not being difficult for once.” He stood suddenly, grabbed his backpack, and walked down the aisle, and when Mr. Burks called his name, he ignored him and stormed out of the room.
I let my anger cloud my judgement so I sat there thinking only of myself when I should have texted him and told him I was sorry. He asked me to let him have it and I should have at least waited to ask him about what he was feeling when we weren’t at school.
I made a mistake, but it took me a while to figure it out because I wasn’t used to being the one who was in the wrong. I was used to being hurt and being the one that people walked on, so I didn’t know what it was like to be on the other side of the conflict.
I also didn’t understand that I had the power to break Micah.
He didn’t come back, and I realized after looking for him after fifth period that he had left school. So, I went about my day and gave him time to calm down, and then later that night I texted him because I’d be up all night worried about him if I didn’t.
Me: Hey =) Why did you leave class?
Micah: Because I was angry.
Me: You get angry a lot…
Micah: That’s not true, it’s just been more so since I came here and I’m having a hard time with it.
Me: Is it because of me?
Micah: Yes and no, but it’s not something you need to fe
el sorry for or anything. It’s all me and how I’ve been dealing with everything concerning you.
Me: Okay… I’m sorry for not leaving it be. Especially when we were at school.
Micah: I forgive you =)
Me: Am I allowed to ask for more details now or…nah?
Micah: Ha ha, I knew that was coming. All things considered I guess I should explain things to you better, but can we do it slowly?
Me: Of course.
Micah: I’m sorry if I frightened you.
I chewed on my answer for a moment when my mother called my name. I got up immediately to see what she wanted so she didn’t pitch a fit about having to wait.
She had only been home for five minutes and she was already on the couch drinking straight from a bottle.
When I stopped at the side of her, she looked up at me with a sneer on her face. “I just got back from the tavern,” she said.
“Yeah, and?” Is that supposed to mean something to me?
“I heard from Vic who heard from someone else that you’ve been fooling around with some Indian boy.”
I fidgeted as anger brewed for whoever had a big mouth and didn’t have the good sense to keep our parents out of our business.
I couldn’t think of anything to say about us fooling around because I didn’t know what she had been told. It wasn’t like anyone besides Micah and I knew the extent of our activities together.
So, I ignored it and corrected her instead. “He’s a Native.”
She sat up and slammed the bottle down on the table. “I don’t fuckin’ care what he is you little whore!”
When she stood up on shaky legs, I took a step back, and when her arm swung out, I covered my face only to have her grab a handful of my hair and drag me down the hallway towards my room.
She stopped outside of my door and pressed me against the wall by my throat. “You’re an embarrassment to me, and your father would be ashamed of you as well.” Her grip tightened and I sucked in a breath. “I don’t want to hear about what my slutty daughter is up to from other fuckin’ people in town.”
I choked when she squeezed harder, I could barely breathe so I hit the middle of her arm, and it buckled. But it only took her a few seconds to lift her arm and when her fingers wrapped around my neck again, I gagged because of how hard and fast her palm hit my throat.
