by C L Walker
It hurt so bad tears sprung from my eyes and washed over my cold cheeks.
“You don’t get to decide when your punishment is over,” she spat.
I nodded my head and tried to relax as much as I could.
Satisfied, she let go and took a step back. “Don’t give them anything to gossip about.”
“Yes ma’am.”
“I better not hear something like that again.” She pushed me back and I hit the wall again.
“Okay.”
As she turned away, I put a hand to my throat and walked into my room. I shut the door behind me and locked it before I lunged for my bed, but when my window opened and I felt a breeze on my skin, I jumped back into a sitting position just as Micah hopped through.
Confused by his arrival I looked down at my phone to see what texts I had missed from him.
Micah: Sky?
Micah: I’m at the gas station getting snacks so I’m close by. Let’s just talk about this in person, okay?
He left my window open, took off his shoes, dropped what looked to be a bag filled with treats and crawled under my blanket with me. “Hi.”
“Well, hi.”
“I know you don’t want me here, but it’s too late, I’m already comfortable so deal with it.” He put his arms beneath his head and took up all the space on my pillow.
“I do want you here.” I lied down beside him and leaned my head against his arm and if it surprised him, he didn’t say anything.
“Why is your heart racing?” he asked after the room grew silent.
“She choked me again.”
I sighed as I touched my throat gently. I was so sick of being hurt by her. The closer we got to the end the braver it seemed she got, and it didn’t help that she was angry because Jack hadn’t returned.
His body tensed and he began to sit up.
“What are you going to do about it?” I asked.
He considered my question and lied back down, and I resumed my position on his arm.
“There are a lot of things I could do,” he said. “I’m known to get a little creative.”
“And then you’d get in trouble.”
“I don’t care, you’re worth the trouble.”
Am I?
“It wasn’t so long ago that you were concerned that I was going to cause you trouble and now you’ll get into it willingly for me?”
“I would have got into it for you even then, I just would have been an ass about it.” When his eyes met mine, I knew he was telling the truth.
I laughed. “Of course, you would have. But even now you’re still an ass.”
“So are you.”
I let myself relax against his body, he felt warm and comforting, it was just what I needed. “Anyway, it’s not like you can take the life of everyone that comes my way that hurts me, if that’s what you are suggesting.”
I didn’t understand why he was suddenly so protective of me.
But is it really sudden?
He had been pissed since he found out I was being abused, he was furious when he saw Jack touch me, and he had been mad at me from day one because I let them get away with it.
He had always been protective of me; he was just done sitting by and watching it all unfold.
That hit me hard.
He snorted at the thought. “If only I were a monster.”
I readjusted my body so I could look at his face. “But you’re not, and you never will be, not to me anyway.” I hoped that he understood that I believed my words with all my heart, and that I was asking him to not ever give into his urges because I needed him to stay as he was.
“About earlier…” he began but I held a finger up to his lips.
“I would have gladly accepted an apology for some of the other things you have done, or rather some things you’ve said but this one is on me so I’m going to show you how it’s done, for future reference.” I pulled myself up higher and buried my face in his neck. “Micah, I’m sorry for not knowing when to shut my mouth with you and for other things, a million other things.”
“I forgive you, especially since I don’t know how to keep mine shut either.” I kissed his neck and he sighed before he said, “Uhm, we will work on it together though.”
Together...
“That sounds nice.” My hand reached for my throat again. “Now, if only we could get everyone else to work on their bullshit.”
If only she could love me instead of hurting me.
“If only.” He pulled me closer as I began to weep, and I drenched his skin with my tears.
I had never dared to cry in front of anyone before, so I was thankful that he let me, and he did so without asking me pointless things about whether I was okay or not.
Which was nice because I wasn’t okay, but I wasn’t ready to say it, and he knew it. But I had a feeling that he had always known that I wasn’t anyway, so my confession wasn’t needed.
He slipped his arm out from under me, turned on his side so we were face to face and brushed my hair out of my face so he could wipe my tears away.
When they stopped falling, he cupped my cheeks and kissed my lips softly before he kissed my forehead. Afterwards, he wrapped his arms around me once more and held me close, all without saying a word and minutes later I started to fall asleep.
Then the strangest thing happened, right before reality faded away, I could have sworn he said, “I’m so sorry, my love.”
Twenty-four
Skylar
When I woke up the next morning, I put my hand out to feel for him, but he was no longer there.
I rolled over to where he had lain and smelled the pillow. Even his sent made me feel more at ease which was a strange feeling for me.
So much for only needing yourself.
I had to admit that I hadn’t slept that well in a long time and I knew it was thanks to his arms around me that I was finally able to. The thought of sleeping next to him every night wasn’t a bad one.
That morning as I got ready for school, I tried to think of all the reasons I should keep denying my feelings for him and they all seemed petty and ridiculous. So what if we argued, we had a lot to argue about. But it wouldn’t be like that forever and maybe I was wrong, maybe he would be around longer than I thought.
Maybe I have found my person.
Wouldn’t that be something, a dangerous yet stunningly beautiful something.
I stopped to look in the mirror and that time I considered if I looked like a woman who could be loved. I couldn’t tell, and I was convinced that I wouldn’t be able to until I knew if that was what he was offering.
When I stepped out onto the main road, I wasn’t surprised to see his car sitting on the other side.
I crossed over as I thought about the possibility of him falling in love with me.
“Hey, babe,” he said.
“Hey.”
He pulled onto the road before he reached for my hand, but I tucked it inside my jacket.
“Really, you’re going to do that after last night?”
I sighed as I slid my hand back out and offered it to him. “No, I won’t be that ridiculous.”
“Good.” After he wrapped his hand around mine, he pulled it up and kissed it.
“You’re always so charming now.”
“Do you have a problem with that? Would you rather I go back to strictly making you angry?”
I shook my head.
“Good, because I would rather see you smile.”
I looked at him and considered his words as he squeezed my hand.
If he wanted to see me smile, then I meant something to him, so I didn’t understand why he hadn’t expressed exactly how he felt and what he wanted for us. Especially when he knew that I was having such a hard time with the idea of us being something to each other.
We remained silent for the rest of the ride to school and when he parked his car, he left it on and took his seatbelt off before he leaned back in his seat. “Are you cold?”
�
��A little.” I didn’t get up either because there was time to blow.
“Just say the word and we can get naked in my backseat and I’ll warm you with my body,” he said, even though he leaned forward and turned up the heat.
“Hey!” I tried to push his shoulder, but he caught my wrist and held it to him. “That was cheesy.”
“Yeah.” His other hand reached for my face, and he tipped up my chin and ran his thumb down my lips slowly. “It was but it made you smile.”
I balled my fists as I steeled myself against temptation because logically, I should have been trying to sort out my feelings for him rather than letting my body lead me other places.
“I wasn’t aware that you wanted to see me smile until a minute ago so excuse me if I am having trouble processing this.” I pulled my face away from his hand.
“I do,” he said, “and I am trying to show you that.”
“I know…”
“So why are you still pulling away and questioning everything I do and say?”
“Because I don’t know how not to.” I worried that I would see hurt in his eyes, but I was surprised to find that he looked nothing short of determined.
Rather than respond he pushed his seat back, and before I could consider what his intentions were, he pulled me into his lap and pinned my hands to my chest with one hand.
“You don’t play fair,” I said.
“I’m too impatient to deal with your fickle feelings today.” He nuzzled my nose with his own as he cupped the back of my head with his other hand. “Don’t fight me right now.”
I closed my eyes and inhaled, filling my lungs with the scent of his cologne and the scent that was distinctly him. “As if I have a choice any longer.”
He kissed me urgently and I melted against him, my fingers itching to touch his warm skin as he kept my hands pinned between us.
I opened my mouth, and he wasted no time in accepting the invitation, his tongue darted inside as he dropped my hands in favor of grabbing my thigh with possessive fingers. I felt the power in his grip and his need to make me his as he licked into my mouth and growled with pleasure.
His hands searched my body greedily as I moved my own around his neck and through his hair, and when I tugged on it, he asked, “Woah, little miss aggressive, are you trying to hurt me?”
I pulled a little harder and licked his lip. “Maybe a little.”
He smirked before he kissed me hard, and when he pulled back a touch, he pulled my bottom lip between his teeth and given that his canines were sharper I wasn’t surprised when he drew blood.
He let go of my lip and watched me closely, his eyes concerned, and his lips stained red from my blood. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to,” he whispered, and he looked down at my lips as he instinctively licked his own.
My heart was running away with me, I felt every rapid beat as if each threatened to be my last and for all the wrong reasons. I should have been horrified but I had already come to realize that there was something wrong with me, so I wasn’t surprised by my reaction. I could think of nothing else aside from how much I wanted him.
The blood on his lips was not a deterrent.
I tentatively tipped my face down to meet his once more and kissed his lips softly.
“Sky?” he asked against my lips.
“Yes?”
“Your lip is still bleeding and I–well, to be honest it’s making it difficult for me to control myself right now.”
“Why?” I pulled back so I could look into his eyes. “Do you like the way I taste?”
His eyes lowered to my mouth. “Yes, everything about you is delicious,” he said darkly, and I felt the small bead of blood with acute awareness as he watched it teeter on the edge of my lip.
I ran my finger over it before I put it up to his mouth and it took him a second, but he gave in and opened his mouth. I stuck my finger inside, and he wrapped his lips around it as I watched with rapt fascination. Once he licked it clean, I started to pull it out slowly from between his teeth, they lightly grazed my skin and sent shivers down my spine.
Once I slipped it out, he pulled my face back to his and kissed me with such hunger that I forgot all about my busted lip and the fact that he was tasting my blood with pleasure.
Everything felt fiery and urgent, and if it weren’t for the interruption, which was my phone vibrating in my pocket, I was sure I would have almost lost my virginity in a public place for the second time.
He pulled away and looked around the car. “Shit.”
“Oh, no, do you think anyone saw us?” I asked as I looked around the outside.
“All the way back here, probably not and my windows are tinted anyways so they would have to be peaking through the front window from the other side of the fence to get a glimpse of us.”
“Right.” I climbed off his lap and pulled my pocket mirror out of my bag to look at my lip. It had stopped bleeding so I could see clearly that it was a small cut, and it looked like something I could have easily done myself since it was on the inside of my lip.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“I know you didn’t mean to so you don’t need to apologize, just don’t go thinking you can snack on me now.”
“Okay.” He laughed but I saw the insecurity in his eyes. “So, are we going to talk about how you just let me lick up your blood not ten minutes after you almost didn’t even let me hold your hand?”
I shut my mirror too hard, and it made a loud sound. “No, we aren’t going to talk about it.”
I felt overwhelmed all over again, so I got out, and scurried away.
It sure would be nice if he explained things to me instead of being so cryptic because I didn’t know if he wanted me in a sense that he wanted to sleep with me or if he wanted more. The possibility of him not wanting more was part of what fueled my hesitation. I couldn’t let some guy piss me off, seduce me and then leave me, and especially not him.
“Well, bye, I’m going to run to the store,” he called from his window. “Thanks for making out with me!”
I stopped, spun around, and pointed a finger at him. “Don’t be so loud or I won’t do it again and don’t even say, ‘lies,’ because I don’t want to hear it right now.”
He put his hands up defensively. “I wasn’t going to say a word.”
“Goodbye, Micah.”
“See you soon, babe.”
When I got to the cafeteria, I found Sai and Ashley sitting at a table eating breakfast together.
“Hey,” I said as I took a seat across from them.
“Hiya,” Ashley said.
“Good morning,” he said.
I smiled as I dug my granola bar out of my pocket. “I feel so refreshed today; I think I’ve been missing out on good sleep since we entered high school.” I laughed because that meant I had been sleeping poorly for almost four years, no big deal.
“You know, you do look… I don’t know…brighter today.” He considered me and turned to Ashely. “Do you see it?”
She tipped her head to the side and inspected my face as I gave her a cheesy smile.
“Your eyes are brighter; they are normally a little darker underneath and heavier looking. I wouldn’t have even known that your eyes looked like this, as I was so used to seeing you with bags.” She covered her mouth in shock that she had been so forward. “But you’re gorgeous either way, so it doesn’t matter!”
I laughed at her and patted her hand. “Thank you, I know what you meant.”
She smiled again and looked at Sai and he gave her a reassuring smile as well. They were so functional it made me smile until I thought of how Micah and I were progressing.
“And what is responsible for this refreshed and recharged Skylar Bodin?” Sai asked.
“Me,” Micah said as he took a seat beside me and slid an energy drink over to me.
“Thanks for announcing that without clarifying your meaning.” I gave my attention back to Sai and Ashely. “He slept over but we literally did not
hing but sleep.”
Sai nodded his head as he bit back a smile. “I see things are coming along well, even though you don’t like him, right?” He gave me a pointed look and I considered directing my anger towards him, but it didn’t appeal to me much.
I looked at Micah from the corner of my eye and he looked completely unaffected by the idea that I didn’t like him because he knew it wasn’t true.
“I like to hate him, and he knows it.” I reached over and grabbed the bag of trail mix out of Micah’s hands and he looked down at them sadly. “Thanks for the drink by the way, oh, and these.” I tipped the bag back and shook it until some of the mix landed in my mouth.
“Uh huh.” He waited until I tipped the bag back down before he grabbed it from me. He looked inside and frowned. “You’re lucky you’re cute.”
I felt my cheeks grow warm and it was made worse when he winked at me. I found it difficult not to look into his eyes without feeling overwhelmed by emotions and it was even worse when he was being so open about what he thought.
The mystery of Micah’s feelings for me were quickly unfolding and the truth was wrapping its arms around me and lifting me up to places I thought I’d never reached.
I stopped myself before I dug too deeply, feelings were meant to be sorted piece by piece, one terrifying emotion at a time.
Ashley started to smile but when she saw the look on my face, she quickly covered her mouth. “Sorry, I’m totally on your side.”
Pfft. Not likely, everyone sides with Micah.
“I so called this,” Sai said, and of course he had no qualms about rubbing it in my face. But little did he know Micah and I weren’t officially anything, so it was a little early to boast.
“It’s because I’m being pressured, everyone keeps saying I should give him a chance and he won’t freaking leave me alone.”
Micah rested his elbow on the table after he turned to face me, laid his head on his palm, and watched me as amusement danced in his eyes.
“What?” I asked.
“I’m just enjoying watching you get all fiery again.”
