The Path to Sunshine Cove

by RaeAnne Thayne

“I know,” Jess said. “But it will be dark soon and you have preschool tomorrow.”

  “Oh yeah. Plus Mommy and Daddy and Si will be home.”

  They all worked together to clean up after themselves and then walked back to Nate’s pickup truck.

  Like Ava, Jess didn’t want the evening to end. It left her craving for something she hadn’t known she wanted.

  Connection.

  Subtle and addictive. It left her feeling edgy and restless as Nate drove them home.

  This was exactly the problem with letting herself get involved. She didn’t need connection. She was just fine on her own. Things were better that way. Safer.

  All these feelings zinging around left a person weakened, vulnerable to heartache and loss.

  Better to stay on her solitary emotional island, fighting off anyone else who dared to come near, with whatever means necessary.

  Ava, sandwiched between Sophie and Grace, fell asleep in the back seat of Nate’s king cab pickup on the short drive to Rachel’s house.

  She didn’t wake even after he pulled into the driveway, unloaded the bikes and put them in the storage area Grace pointed out in the garage.

  “I’ll carry her in,” he offered.

  Jess could do it. She lifted heavy boxes for a living. One little girl who couldn’t weigh more than fifty pounds would be nothing. It seemed foolish to argue with him, though.

  Something about the sight of the little sleeping girl nestled in his arms made Jess’s knees feel wobbly.

  Good grief. This was ridiculous.

  She opened the door with the code Rachel had given her and led the way inside.

  “Where am I going with her?”

  “Our bedroom is down the hall next to the bathroom,” Grace informed him.

  “Second door on the right,” Jess said. “I’ll show you.”

  She led the way down the hall to the girls’ cute bedroom, decorated like an Instagram fantasy, with reading nooks and bookshelves and a glorious dollhouse she had yet to see the girls actually use.

  “She needs a bath,” Grace said. “We always have a bath before we go to bed.”

  “Well, this time I’m going to let her go to sleep and have a quick bath in the morning.”

  Rachel wouldn’t be happy about it, but Jess was going with her instincts on this one. Waking up Ava and making her take a bath when she was exhausted seemed cruel.

  Nate lowered her to the bed. Ava snuggled into her pillow, reaching to pull her comforter over her.

  Letting her get by without a bath was one thing. Allowing her to sleep in the clothes she’d been wearing to play at the park and the beach was something else entirely. “I’ll help her into PJs in a minute,” she said softly. “Thank you for your help.”

  “My pleasure.”

  She walked him back to the door while Grace grabbed her pajamas and headed for the bathroom next to their room. “I’ll be in to help you in a minute.”

  “I don’t need help. I’m not a baby like Ava or Silas,” Grace informed her haughtily.

  “Leave the door unlocked anyway,” Jess said. She didn’t know what Rachel’s rules were about that sort of thing but she wasn’t taking any chances of leaving a child unattended around water.

  Grace sighed and shut the bathroom door firmly. Soon after, Jess heard water running.

  “At least she didn’t slam it, like Sophie would have done.”

  His daughter had opted to wait in the truck.

  “Thank you for everything tonight. The bike tire, the ride, the pizza. It turned out to be a good evening, after all.”

  “I enjoyed it,” he said, his voice gruff.

  She walked him to the door, her mind suddenly filled with images from that morning when he had kissed her.

  “You did great. See? Nothing to be nervous about.”

  “I’m still over my head, but so far we haven’t had any broken bones or ER visits or other catastrophes. The night is still young, though.”

  He smiled. “Don’t worry. If you do anything else wrong, I suspect Grace will be the first one to tell you.”

  She had to laugh at how accurately he had assessed her oldest niece. “I guess every family needs one who likes to follow the rules.”

  “I certainly wasn’t that person and something tells me you weren’t either.”

  How had he guessed that? “Not in the slightest,” she answered.

  “Yet we both joined the military, which is all about following the rules.”

  She was struck by the notion that they had far more in common than she might have thought.

  Maybe that was why she was so fiercely drawn to him.

  Not that it mattered. He wasn’t for her, she reminded herself.

  “Thanks again. You saved the day.”

  “I loved every minute of it,” Nate said in a low voice. She caught her breath when he leaned forward. Was he going to kiss her again?

  He did, but this time he only brushed his mouth to the side of hers with a gentleness that completely disarmed her.

  “Good night. Try not to burn the house down.”

  She laughed a little raggedly. “I won’t. I think we’re safe for now. Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

  He smiled, waved and headed out the door, leaving her to watch after him and ache with longing for only a minute before she turned back to her nieces.

  17

  Rachel

  As Rachel closed the door into the adjoining bedroom of their hotel suite, she wanted to collapse into a heap on the bed, pull the covers over her head and stay there for the next twenty-four hours.

  The drive had been every bit the nightmare she had feared. Traffic had been backed up the whole way and then the GPS had led them the wrong way to the hotel, about twenty minutes out of their way to a similarly named hotel in a nearby community.

  She had worried Silas would fall asleep on the drive and then not be able to sleep once they reached the hotel. By about thirty minutes into the drive, she was praying he would fall asleep.

  She suspected he was carsick but he couldn’t communicate that. Instead, he had cried and none of the usual soothing techniques seemed to be working.

  Cody had suggested they pull over and trade places so she could drive the remainder of the way to the hotel and he could try his hand with Silas.

  She had ended up snapping that they were already late enough and she didn’t want to waste time pulling over.

  He was only trying to help. He wasn’t trying to imply that he was better with their son than she was. She knew that but couldn’t help feeling defensive. She was with Silas all day and knew him better than anybody did. She ought to be able to calm him, if anyone could.

  Cody had been right. Silas had needed the distraction of his father sitting with him, not her. Instead, he grew increasingly irritable until they finally stopped at McDonald’s to grab dinner for him in case he was hangry.

  That had calmed him somewhat but they were all still upset with each other when they reached the hotel.

  Nothing was going the way she had planned. So much for the romantic dinner she had planned. Cody had ended up buying something at McDonald’s, too.

  She could have told him she had prearranged a dinner once they arrived but by then she had been too worn-out to care.

  Instead of bringing them together, she felt more distant than ever from her husband.

  “Is he asleep?” Cody asked.

  “Finally. I hope he stays that way.”

  She slumped into the armchair in the room, certain she looked as completely exhausted as she felt.

  “You can’t keep going on this way, Rach. You need help.”

  “I’m okay. It’s just been a long day.”

  “Following a long week and a long month and a long two years and eight months. You’re wo
rn-out. I still think we should hire someone to help you. A nanny would take some of the burden off your shoulders.”

  And admit failure? She wasn’t ready to do that. “We’ve talked about how much it would cost to have an autism-trained nanny come in. The expense would eat away all our savings, pushing back our plans to build our dream house by years.”

  “Do you think I care about any dream house? I just want my wife back.”

  His words and the edge of desperation in them made her guilty and defensive at the same time. “I haven’t gone anywhere, Cody. I’m not the one who works sixteen-hour days so you don’t have to come home and deal with your family.”

  Color rose in his face but he didn’t deny that’s what he was doing. “Why not? When I’m home, you don’t seem to want or need me around. Everything I do is wrong.”

  She couldn’t help that she had figured out the best way to do things after years of running their house. Every time she gently tried to explain why her way was better, he got mad and stormed off.

  She was pushing him away. Why couldn’t she just shut up and let him load the dishwasher wrong and add the wrong detergent to the white clothes?

  Where the hell would her perfection get her when she didn’t have a husband?

  She didn’t want to have this fight right now. Not in this cute boutique hotel with the bohemian decor and the tassels on the pillows. She had entertained all these fantasies about seducing her husband, sharing physical closeness, which usually led to at least some emotional closeness.

  Right now sex was the last thing on her mind but maybe if she took a break from the situation she could come back more in the mood.

  “I’m going to sit by the pool for a minute and call Jess to check on the girls.”

  “You don’t have to leave. You can call from here.”

  “I’ve been sitting in the car for three hours. I need some air,” she said.

  He studied her, his blue eyes she loved so much suddenly filled with a sadness that broke her heart. Could he feel their marriage slipping away, too?

  “What about dinner? I ate at McD’s but you didn’t have anything. I can order room service for you. I could probably eat dessert.”

  “I’m not hungry,” she said. “I’ll take one of the protein shakes I packed down to the pool and drink that.”

  By the time she made it to the outdoor pool, surrounded by palm trees and lush landscaping, she felt even more horrible for her pissy mood.

  What was wrong with her? She wasn’t usually so negative. Ever since Silas’s diagnosis, her temper was on a hair trigger.

  She had taken everything out on Cody, who didn’t deserve her constant bad mood.

  She should drink her shake, call her sister, and then go back and have incredible makeup sex with her husband.

  Jess didn’t answer until after the fourth ring.

  “Hi,” she said, sounding breathless. “Sorry. I guess I left my phone down in the kitchen while I was reading a story to Grace. I barely heard it.”

  She suddenly yearned to be home with her girls with hugs and stories and the soft sweetness of bedtime.

  “Is everything okay there?”

  “Great. The kitchen fire was small and the firefighters were able to put it out quickly with almost no damage to the house.”

  “Jess.” Sometimes her sister’s sense of humor escaped her.

  “I’m sorry. I’m teasing. We had a great afternoon and evening. We took a bike ride this afternoon, built an epic sandcastle, which I took pictures of, and ended up having pizza at the park with Nate Whitaker and Sophie. Ava is already asleep and Grace will probably be there by the time we end this phone call.”

  Nate again. Things there seemed more and more interesting.

  “Thank you again for staying with them.”

  “It’s been no problem at all.” Jess spoke with a sincerity Rachel didn’t usually hear from her sister, who tended to keep all her emotions tightly wrapped.

  “They’re great girls, Rachel. Funny and kind and smart. I can tell you’re a good mom.”

  The quiet words of approval, so desperately needed, sent Rachel over the edge. Her throat tightened and tears burned her eyes.

  She couldn’t begin to tell Jess how much that meant to her. She wanted so much better for her children than she and her sister had for the first thirteen years of Rachel’s life.

  She wanted to give them confidence, curiosity, joy. She didn’t want them to grow up in a war zone, with a perennially stressed mother trying desperately to achieve an impossible perfection.

  “Thanks for saying that. I don’t feel like it most of the time, but thanks.”

  “So according to your notes, I’m getting them off to school and preschool tomorrow then Cody’s mom is picking up Ava when she gets out.”

  “Yes. And she’ll get Grace from the bus and hang out with them at the house until whatever time we make it back in the evening.”

  “That works.”

  “Thank you again. I don’t know how to make it up to you.”

  “No need. This is just what family does, Rachel.”

  “I’m still throwing you a big birthday party. I haven’t forgotten. It’s not every day my big sister turns the big three-oh. We have to celebrate!”

  “We really don’t,” Jess began, but Rachel didn’t let her finish.

  “Yes. We haven’t been together to celebrate your birthday in years. How long has it been? Probably before...” Her voice trailed off and silence fell between them like a cold, relentless rain.

  “Right.”

  Rachel didn’t want to think about that before. She had spent her entire adult life trying not to think about it.

  “I’ll arrange everything. I should invite Eleanor and Nate and Sophie! It will be terrific. Leave everything to me.”

  Jess sighed, clearly not excited about the party. Too bad. Rachel was doing it anyway.

  She needed something good to focus on right now, something to take her mind off the chaos and mess of her life.

  After they ended the call, she sat for a moment there beside the quiet pool, sipping her protein shake and watching a couple of kids play in the far end.

  The fresh air soothed her, as it always did. She spent a lot of time working out in her garden or taking walks with Silas in his stroller for that very reason. She needed the peace and calm of nature to center her.

  When she felt calm and relaxed, she returned to the hotel, prepared to apologize to Cody and see how much of their night away she could salvage.

  She found all the lights out. Cody was stretched out on the bed, sound asleep, already snoring.

  He had changed into the basketball shorts and T-shirt he liked to sleep in and had arranged the pillows the way he did at home.

  So much for a romantic interlude. Rachel sighed.

  Maybe this was their life together now. Two parents so exhausted by the efforts of keeping their family running that they grabbed sleep wherever they could find it.

  Instead of the sexy negligee she had brought, she changed into her favorite sleep shirt that she had also tucked into her suitcase and slipped into bed beside her husband.

  Cody made a sound, rolled over and wrapped an arm around her.

  At least they had this, she thought, snuggling deeper into his heat. At least in sleep, he still turned toward her, even if he didn’t seem to want to when they were both awake.

  Maybe this could be enough for now.

  18

  Jess

  After ending the call, Jess looked around at the gleaming kitchen, wondering about the sister whose territory she stood in.

  She had a deep, aching wish that they could be closer, as they once had been. She and Rachel always seemed to skim the surface of each other’s lives. They could be cordial to each other, even loving, but never with the closen
ess they’d once had. She missed when Rachel had been her best friend, when they had turned to each other as a protection against the stress and trauma of their parents’ ugliness.

  Rachel was struggling. Jess didn’t know if it was depression, anxiety or a combination of both. Either way, it was obvious her sister seemed deeply unhappy.

  Jess didn’t want or need a birthday party but if that would help Rachel through whatever dark time she was navigating, Jess would suffer through it.

  * * *

  After an uneventful night where she actually slept quite well on the family room sofa, the morning was far more hectic than it should have been.

  Freckles ended up throwing up breakfast, which made Grace dry heave and almost lose her breakfast. Jess took time to give Ava a quick bath to make up for the night before. Ten minutes later, Ava spilled orange juice on the cute jumper her mother had thoughtfully set out for her, turning everything sticky.

  By the time she cleaned up all the messes, changed Ava and got Grace off to school and Ava to preschool, Jess was exhausted. And her own workday hadn’t started yet.

  When she arrived at Eleanor’s house, she found her employer in an odd mood, as if she knew a secret and was having a hard time keeping it.

  “How did everything go with the girls yesterday?” Eleanor asked, eyes twinkling.

  What did she know about the way Jess had spent her evening? Did she know about the impromptu pizza party with Nate and Sophie?

  “Um. Great. We ended up building a great sandcastle down at the cove with Sophie in the afternoon.”

  “She told me. And Nathaniel showed me the picture. He’s already printed one out for the album Sophie keeps of the sand creations she’s made over the years.”

  “Oh. That’s nice.”

  “She and her grandfather often built sandcastles together. Jack was always coming up with new things to create down there. It was one of their things.”

  “That’s what she said.”

  “And then I understand you had a bike problem that Nathaniel helped you with and you three ended up having dinner with him and Sophie.”

  “Yes. They were kind enough to help me with a flat tire on my sister’s bike and then we had pizza at Driftwood Park. How was dinner with your friends?”