Dubious Heroes: a novel

by Nicholas Blue

  Kyra looked up from one of the consoles.

  “The nav system is fucked up, too”, she said. “It says we’re back in Tau Ceti Three, near Babylonia, but the sensors, or at least the ones that work, don’t agree.”

  “That’s because Angie loaded the nav system with bogus data, once we transited”, I said. “Cozi and I figured that if the telemetry was being sent to the UPDF via SpeedLink, we might as well take the opportunity to feed them some bullshit.”

  “Okay”, she said. “I hate asking obvious questions, but… where the hell are we?”

  “Beats me”, I said. “I told Angie to take us as close to Tzing Ma Chu as she could, but for some reason, it didn’t work. We didn’t go anywhere, when she tried.”

  “Probably a power issue”, Cozi said. “I imagine it has to do with the length of the transit, and the size of the gravity wells involved, but I dunno for sure. This new star drive probably has a whole set of rules we don’t know the first thing about.”

  “So, does anyone know where we did go?” Kyra asked. “Or do I have to beat it out of one of you?”

  “We’re back in Sol system”, Eng said. “Home. We needed a target fast, preferably somewhere the locals might be friendly. So, I thought of this place. Welcome to Neptune.”

  “Why did this work, and Tzing wouldn’t?” I asked. “Neptune’s a shitload bigger than Tzing.”

  “Well, we aren’t at Neptune, but we should be near there”, he said. “There’s a large colony on Triton, and I dropped us into the middle of the shipping lanes headed there. That way, if we had any problems, someone would eventually wander by.”

  “Well, you certainly guessed right”, I said.

  “Triton?” Kyra said. “Great. Another damn ice ball.”

  “Could be worse”, Eng said. “Could be another ice ball, crawling with UP troopers, which Triton is not.”

  “Fine”, she said. “What now? Of course, I’m assuming no one here is dumb enough to send out a distress signal.” She looked at me when she said it. I tried not to look hurt.

  “Let’s get busy, and fix what we can”, I said. “We’ll give it a few days, and if no one comes by, we can always head for Triton in the Avalon, assuming she’s functional.”

  “Someone spots us drifting out here, you can bet a salvage crew will show up”, Eng said.

  “Or, another UPDF cruiser”, Kyra said.

  “Hopefully, they don’t know where we are”, I said. “Besides, we nailed one of them pretty hard, last time. If nothing else, I suspect they’ll be a lot more cautious.”

  “I’m more worried about someone seeing us”, Eng said.

  “I thought that was the point”, Cozi said.

  “Sorry”, he said. “Yes, we want to be seen, but I’m not sure we can be seen, thanks to our weird hull.”

  “I forgot about that”, I said. “I guess we’re going to have to be a bit more proactive. If someone comes by and looks promising, we’ll have to hail them and see if they’ll assist. Shouldn’t take more than a few days.”

  “This is your plan?” Kyra asked. I guess she thought I was kidding.

  “Beats no plan”, I said.

  “We’ll have to wait and see about that”, she said.

  Nineteen days later, a ship hailed us. We’d spent our time repairing the ship as best as we could, but the drives would require professional help. The reactor was back online, though not reliably so, and we had Angie back. The Avalon was, to use Cozi’s term, toast; a victim of the fire in the landing bay.

  We’d hailed three other passing ships, none of whom would come anywhere near us. I couldn’t fault any captain for not wanting to risk his ship, especially helping out someone who didn’t even show up on tri-d radar. At least one of them had passed the word when they reached Triton, and someone had come out looking for us.

  I reached the Bridge just as Angie was putting the audio on the speaker.

  “Hello out there”, a bored voice said. “Any ghost ships hanging around in the area?”

  “Where are they?” I asked Eng, who was doing his shift on the Bridge.

  “Following the normal shipping route out of Triton”, Eng said. “He’s probably been broadcasting like that for a few days now. I put him at about a hundred thousand clicks out. His radio must be pretty weak.”

  I sat down at the helm, and punched my commlink for audio only

  “This is the Independent Trading Ship Revenge“, I said. “We’re out here, and we’re not a ghost.”

  “I’ll be damned”, the voice said. “I just won a bet. I was the only one here that didn’t think this was a colossal waste of time. Hang on, while I get a lock on your signal… okay, gotcha. Any reason why you guys show up on radar like a little rock?”

  “New hull coating”, I said. “Who are you guys?”

  “I’m Captain Scott”, he said, “And this is the DSRV Erebus. Who are you?”

  “I’m Captain Orel Doon”, I said. “What’s a DSRV?” Eng’s face told me I’d just asked a dumb question.

  “We’re your local tow service”, Scott said. “DSRV- Deep Space Rescue Vehicle. We freelance, so we keep our ears open for work. Heard about someone out here asking for help, but it sounded a lot like another Flying Dutchman story.”

  “We’re quite real”, I said. “And yes, we need a tow.”

  “What’s your situation?”

  “Our drives are out”, I said.

  “How’d that happen?” he asked. I looked over at Eng, who shrugged. There was no way to disguise plasma cannon damage, let alone that from the torpedo.

  “Shot out”, I said. “Raiders. A tow to Triton would be appreciated.”

  “Raiders?” he said. “Around here?”

  He sounded more skeptical than worried.

  “It’s been a few weeks”, I said, which was true enough. “How much is this gonna cost us?”

  Eng waved at me, at pointed at my screen; he’d just sent me a message. A typical tow would be twenty or thirty thousand credits.

  “A hundred grand”, Scott said. “It’s our standard contract. I’ll put it together, and get your thumbprint when we get there.”

  “That seems a bit steep”, I said. “I’m not sure we have that much cash aboard.”

  “It is steep, and it isn’t negotiable”, he said. “As for the cash, I’m sure you’ll work it out.”

  “And if we can’t?”

  “Then we’ll take possession of your ship, it’ll get auctioned off, and we get paid, anyway”, he said. “It’s in the contract. You still want a tow?”

  “Fine”, I said. “How long until you can get here?”

  “About eight hours”, Scott said. “One other thing.”

  “Yes?”

  “Don’t go anywhere”, he said, and I could hear him smiling. “Erebus out.”

  Smartass.

  Chapter 35

  Among the long list of things I didn’t know was that Deep Space Rescue Vehicles actually do a lot more than provide ships a tow back to port. They come equipped with a team which includes technicians, engineers, and even trauma medics. The Erebus had a better MedLab than most colony hospitals.

  They also had their own set of procedures, and they were sticklers about adhering to them. They spent the better part of a week poking around the Revenge trying, without success, to get one of the drives working. Finally, they got tired of hearing me bitch, and rigged us for tow.

  Solomon Scott struck me as a very laid back guy. That said, he also tended to resent any effort to hurry him up, and even told Eng that the more we bothered him, the longer it was going to take. Patience is definitely not part of my skillset.

  Even with Triton’s quarter gee gravity, getting the Revenge down to the shipyard was, in a word, complicated. The ground crew was concerned that the Erebus might screw up, and drop three hundred tons of starship on their heads; a concern I wholeheartedly shared. Had I known a little more about DSRV people, I might have relaxed. While Scott was indeed laid back, he was a
lso careful, methodical, and it seemed, largely unflappable. I mentioned this to Kyra, who pointed out that I shouldn’t really think of the DSRV people as slow, since they weren’t; they simply didn’t do anything faster than they absolutely had to. They would check something, then check it again, and if they had time, check it yet again, just for good measure. I had an idea that if the rest of us running ships followed this type of procedure, Captain Scott and his crew would have a lot less business.

  In the end, he set us into the docking slip as gently as a falling feather, and while that was a pleasant surprise, it was nothing compared to the reception we got. It wasn’t as though everyone on Triton had shown up; I’m sure there were a few who couldn’t make it.

  As the weeks and months had crawled by, our story had taken on a life of its own, evolving from something that was somewhat interesting, into a thing of celebrity and notoriety, which, as we experienced on Babylonia, was an utter pain-in-the-ass.

  After the two incidents with the UPDF, our story no longer bore any resemblance to reality; it was its own mythos. The Revenge was a ghost ship which could appear and disappear at will, which was true, after a fashion, though we were hardly the only ship capable of the feat. We also couldn’t be touched by enemy weapons. I had an idea that our getting shot up and towed into port might do well to dispel that one, however much I wished it were true. Any idea I had of keeping a low profile was gone; they knew who we were even before we got there, and by some twisted logic, we were now some kind of outlaw heroes. The whole thing made me uneasy.

  Scott had offered to take us off the Revenge while we were still in orbit around Triton, and have a shuttle take us down to the colony. I considered it, and then decided it didn’t feel right. Our place was aboard the Revenge, when she made port. If a ship gets hammered saving your ass, the least you could do was see her all the way in.

  Once we were docked, we unstrapped, and prepared to disembark.

  “I have the Triton Control AI”, Angie said.

  “Tell em I’ll deposit cash chips for our dock account”, I said. “Find out how much they want.”

  “There may be a problem with that”, she said.

  “What sort of problem?” I asked, wondering what could go wrong next.

  “She says there’s no charge”, Angie said. “Anything we want, just ask.”

  “If that’s a problem”, Eng said, “I can’t wait to hear the good news.”

  “It’ll be a problem when whoever runs Triton finds out about it”, I said. “What’s the AI’s name?”

  “Valeria”, Angie said.

  “Put her on”, I said.

  “Aye”, she said.

  “Valeria?” I said. “This is Captain Doon.”

  “It is an honor to meet you, Captain”, she said. I detected some sort of an accent, but couldn’t place it. Some of the Erebus crew had the same accent, so I figured it was a local thing, with the AI mimicking them.

  “Likewise”, I said. I was still uncomfortable with the way the AIs were treating me; I just didn’t know what to do about it. “Look, I appreciate your offer, but I’d much rather deposit a hundred grand or so with you. I don’t want anyone to get in any trouble, and we probably have adequate funds for anything we might need.”

  “As much as I would like to comply with your request”, she said, “I’m afraid I can’t do that. Governor Arris himself said you are not to be charged for anything while you are here. He was very explicit.”

  “I suppose I need to talk to the Governor Arris, then”, I said.

  “He’d like that very much”, Valeria said. “At your convenience, of course. In fact, he already has an escort waiting for you at the docks.”

  “Thanks”, I said. “Please let the Governor know that we’ll be along shortly, after we wrap up a few things here.”

  “I’ll do that”, she said. “Control out.”

  “Revenge out.”

  “Well”, I said, looking over at Kyra and Eng, “What do you make of that?”

  “I think that at our convenience ought to be pretty soon”, Kyra said.

  “Funny”, I said. “Last time someone met us at the docks, I ended up a prisoner.”

  “That makes two of us”, Eng said. “I believe I’ll stand watch on the Bridge.”

  “I might keep you company”, Kyra said. “Look at the external cams. You’re gonna need that escort, Doon.”

  She touched her console, and the main vidscreen lit up. They’d extended a walkway from the clear plasteel dome of the port complex, out to our airlock. Inside the dome, we could see a sizable throng of people waiting.

  “Zoom in on that”, I said.

  “Aye”, Angie said, and did so.

  “What the hell are they doing out there?” I asked.

  “Standing around and waiting”, Eng said. “Probably checking out the ship, too. See, some of them are shooting video.”

  “Don’t be an idiot, Doon”, Kyra said. “You know exactly what they’re doing out there; they’re waiting for you.”

  “The crowd started forming a couple of days ago”, Angie said. “According to Valeria, someone on the Erebus told them you were coming.”

  “I’m not seeing any escort”, Kyra said.

  “Maybe they’ll show up when we do”, I said. “Eng, per your request, you have the conn. It’s not like you can go anywhere; we’re essentially a three hundred ton doorstop.”

  “Then I’ll man the doorstop”, Eng said. “Maybe I’ve just been spacing for too long, but crowds kind of bother me, now.”

  “Which leaves you and me” I said to Kyra.

  “No problem”, Kyra said. “Give you a little better odds, in case things get weird.”

  “Yeah”, Eng said. “Three thousand to two, instead of three thousand to one. Much better.”

  “We could always make it three thousand to three”, I said.

  “I’m sure you’ll be fine”, he said. “If it was a lynch mob, they’d just come on in and get you.”

  “Angie”, I said. “You still in contact with Valeria?”

  “Yes Sir”, she said.

  “What’s her job here? Port Authority?”

  “That, and everything else”, Angie said. “She’s the primary AI running Triton. She works directly for the Governor.”

  “See what she can tell us about that crowd”, I said.

  “Would you rather just talk to her?” Angie asked.

  “No, I would not”, I said. “And don’t open a Bridge mike to her, either. Let’s keep our conversations private, please.”

  “Of course“, she said, as though I should have known she’d know that. Maybe I should have.

  “Well?” I asked, “What’s with the reception?”

  “Kyra was right”, Angie said. “Mostly, they’re here to see you. To begin with, they’re calling you the leader of the AI rebellion. On top of that, there are the stories of how you’ve defeated the UP several times, now. There are stories about you and this ship on all the major newsnets. In a word, you’re sort of famous, now. You all are, to a degree. But mostly, it’s you.”

  “How can that be?” I asked. “Most of what you just said isn’t even true. I mean, I’d hardly call getting our asses shot up and fleeing the scene defeating the UP.”

  “Regardless”, Angie said, “Those are the stories going around, and thanks to SpeedLink, they’re pretty much everywhere.”

  “This is ridiculous”, I said. “It’s like someone has put themselves in charge of our PR, and is putting all this bullshit out there.”

  “The newsnets are probably hyping it all”, Eng said, “Doing a little creative embellishment along the way. Not so much for our benefit, as theirs, but the end result is the same.”

  “How can they pull that off?” I asked. “Last I heard, the UP was still running things, and as far as they’re concerned, we’re the scourge of civilization.”

  “Yes, there’s some of that out there”, Angie said, “But people are already attributing any
thing negative as coming from the UP.”

  “Well, maybe we can talk to the Governor, and add an element of truth to all this”, I said. “Right now, it should be just Kyra and me. I want everyone else to stay aboard. If everything looks okay, we can cut everyone loose, later.”

  “I’m heading down to freshen up”, she said.

  “Fine”, I said. “Can you meet me at the main airlock in half an hour?”

  “Aye”, she said, and stepped into the elevator.

  “Oh, shit”, Eng said, as the door slid closed.

  “What now?” I asked.

  “I don’t think it’s going to matter what data we’re sending that bug the UP has aboard”, he said. “If this many people know we’re here, then they know, too. How long before they show up?”

  “I dunno”, I said. “I don’t think they could have known for long, or they’d have been here waiting for us. Still, if they went to New London, it would be awhile before they get here.”

  “So, what should I do if they show up?” he asked.

  “Surrender”, I said, as I stepped into the lift, and headed down.

  I took the time to freshen up a bit myself, and changed into clean coveralls. By the time I reached the main airlock, Kyra was already there, waiting for me. She changed from her coveralls into her trademark black skinsuit, twin holsters on her hips. Her fiery red hair was tied back in a ponytail.

  I loved watching her move under gravity, even just a quarter gee. Her fluid, rolling gait was simultaneously frightening, and erotic. You could sense the energy within her, barely contained. Having seen her in action, I knew it wasn’t an illusion.

  “Took you long enough”, she said, smiling. I knew I was maybe ten minutes early for our rendezvous. We were both about as clean and sparkly was we could get; it wasn’t every day that you got to meet a head of state, even if the state was just a little colony out in the boondocks.

  “Yeah, yeah”, I said, and then nodded to her holsters. “You don’t actually think they’re gonna let you keep those, do you?”

  I’d worn my own holster, as well, but I didn’t think I’d get to keep mine, either.