When He Stays: A Student Teacher Romance

by A. R. Breck

  After I am dressed in my sweats, I hop up on my bed and get started on my homework for the day. Knowing I am going to be up late, I don't even turn on music. If I turn it on, I will fall into music land, and I would preferably get my homework done as quick as possible.

  So, study and silence it is.

  ELEVEN

  Tuesday morning I'm dead tired and coffee is barely even keeping me awake. Cramming all of my homework in one night, plus my first night at work has left me dead tired. I will have to figure out a better system then this, or else I will be a bitch for the rest of the year.

  And no one wants that.

  About halfway through the night, I woke up to go to the bathroom and then I couldn't fall back asleep. I kept tossing and turning, and I was either too hot and had to whip the blankets off of me, or I would get too cold and need to bundle up again. The process kept repeating itself over and over again. My mind kept drifting to Mr. Cooper and what happened on Friday. I know I need to confront him and see what's going on. I can't keep running from him.

  Though, the thought of getting rejected again is about as appealing as walking barefoot on hot coals.

  I also feel guilty for agreeing to go to the dance with Brock, but I know I can't turn him down now that I have already agreed. Elaine is right though, I'm not sure when I fell for Mr. Cooper, but I know I have. Whether it was the first time I bumped into him, or the second. Or if it was last Friday when he got out of bed to come rescue me late at night, I just – I feel an electricity with him that I have never felt before. He makes me feel alive. I know I can never be anything but friends with Brock until I talk things over with Mr. Cooper.

  And now, I am unfortunately in the grouchiest mood ever. I've barely slept, and I need to go talk to Mr. Cooper. I hate confrontation. I barely said two words to Aunt Jenna this morning, and she got the picture after my mumbled responses to her. She stuck her nose back in her newspaper and let me be an asshole.

  On the drive to school I smoked an extra half of a cigarette, although now for some reason, I feel almost guilty for smoking after Mr. Cooper had such an aversion to them. This in the end makes me even more pissed off – that something that usually gives me pleasure is now something that I feel like I shouldn't be doing at all. Shoving my cigarette out with a little extra irritation, I huff out a fuck everything as I pull into the school parking lot and turn off my playlist of the morning, The Used.

  The other students must be able to feel my fuck off attitude from a mile away because they steer clear of me and nearly make a path for me to walk through. Getting to my locker, I grab my things, slam my locker shut, and turn around to a smiling Mya and Leah.

  "Shit!" I yell, causing a few heads to turn my way in apprehension.

  "Wow. Cool it." Leah says.

  "Turn that frown upside down. What's going on with you? Are you on the rag or something?" She asks that last part in a whisper.

  Rolling my eyes, I say, "No, I'm not on the rag. I barely got any sleep last night. And me plus no sleep equals a raging bitch." Smirking evilly, I turn and start walking towards first period, taking a huge gulp from my to-go coffee that is doing absolutely nothing for me this morning. I frown down at it, wondering why it's not doing its usual magic.

  Getting seated in my desk, I turn towards Mya and Leah, ready to tell them about what went down with Brock yesterday, when Mr. Lennington walks into class calling my name.

  Startled, I immediately turn around and hesitantly ask, "Yes?"

  "You are wanted in the office. Gather your things and head down there, please." Although he says please, his tone and demeanor is back to its usual unpleasantness.

  "What do you think they want?" Leah asks, worry in her face.

  I shrug. "Don't know. Save me a spot at lunch."

  "Text me if something happens." Mya looks like she is ready for some hot gossip.

  Rolling my eyes, I don't grant her a response as I start my journey to the office. Feeling like a petulant child, I walk extra slow so that I can burn some more of the hour away.

  Christ, maybe I am about to get my period.

  When I get to the office, the same lady who sat behind the front desk is behind the desk this time. She looks up at me over the rim of her glasses and says, "Callie Bradley?"

  "That would be me."

  "Please take a seat. Mrs. Roule will be out in a moment." Mrs. Roule? What does she want? Without a word, I turn around and take a seat up against the wall, pulling out my cell phone and texting Mya and Leah.

  Callie: I got expelled. Sorry guys. I'll call you later.

  Mya: WTF!!

  Leah: OMG! What happened??

  I laugh to myself. I needed a little humor today.

  Callie: Kidding. Mrs. Roule probably just wants to have a quick counseling sesh. See you at lunch.

  Mya: You. Fucking. Suck.

  Leah: Don't do that ever again, Callie! That was terrible.

  Mya: You suck. You better believe I'm getting you back for this one.

  "Callie?" I look up to see Mrs. Roule standing there, patiently waiting for me. "Please, come in my office." Her smile is friendly, which means I'm not in trouble for anything. Releasing the breath I didn't even know I was holding, I grab my things and trail behind her to her office, plopping down in front of her desk in the same chair I sat in a little over a week ago.

  "I just wanted to check in with you, dear. How did everything go your first week of school?" She leans forward on her elbows and plants them on the table, tilting her head and giving me that therapist look that I hate oh, so much.

  "Fine. Classes are fine." I look down and start picking at my fingernails.

  "Callie." Her tone demands attention.

  I look up at her. "What?" My tone is a bit on the short side. But so is my patience.

  "Is everything really okay? Are people treating you well? Is everything at home going okay with your Aunt?"

  Seeing that she is being genuine, I decide to give her a little slack. "I'm good. I've met a couple friends that I hung out with over the weekend. My Aunt is awesome. I want to go home, but I don't have the choice right now, so I'm trying to make the best out of my situation. I'm in a bad mood a lot, but I work past it. That's all." I see a myriad of emotions cross her face – sympathy, sadness, happiness and then finally settle on understanding.

  "Great. That's great Callie. Everything that you are feeling is completely understandable. I have to say that I think that you have been doing a great job your first week from what I have been hearing. Keep up the good work. Finally, I wanted to ask you - have you rethought anything about college?"

  "Nope. That's still not happening." I snap.

  Why do people have to put pressure on you for things you don't want to do?

  She puts her hands up in surrender, "Okay, okay. I understand. I just wanted to check in on you and see how things are going. I won't pester you about it anymore, but if you change your mind – or even need anything at all, you know where my office is." She gives me a warm smile.

  I pick my things up and get ready to leave when Mrs. Roule stops me. "Oh, Callie. Here. Take this pass and finish out the rest of your hour in the library for study hall. There is only about fifteen minutes left of class anyway." She hands me off a pass which I take with a thanks and head to the library for the remainder of the hour.

  * * * *

  As the bell rings signaling the end of first period, I gather my stuff from the table in the library where I was attempting to study. Mr. Cooper kept lingering in the back of my head, refusing to let me get any work done. As I watched the clock tic on, my palms grew sweatier and sweatier. Now that the bell has rang and I am gathering my things, I'm nearly shaking with nerves about having to talk to Mr. Cooper and letting him know how I really feel.

  I decide to go and hide in the bathroom until the warning bell rings. I'm nearly positive that if I run into Leah or Mya, I will instantly spill my guts about Mr. Cooper and everything that has transpired between us. I stand at the
sink and look at myself in the mirror. My long eyelashes fan my face, the little mascara that I swipe on in the mornings the only makeup that I really use, plus the chapstick I always keep in me. My tan has faded in just the couple weeks I've been here, although I am still considerably tanner than the other kids here.

  My long blonde hair has a slight wave in it today from me falling asleep with my hair wet last night. I was so tired this morning that I just threw on some leggings and a hoodie, and threw on my old combat boots, which are badass by the way. But now as I look in the mirror I feel like I should have dressed myself as more of an adult, given myself more of an opportunity to let Mr. Cooper see what he would be missing out on.

  Running my hand through my hair and giving it a little puff for volume, I sigh when I hear the warning bell ring and grab my things, heading off to class. I arrive mere seconds before the bell rings, and I exhale a breath of relief when I am able to escape to my seat without being stopped by anyone.

  As Mr. Cooper starts class, I look just about anywhere except at him, too afraid that if he looks at my face it will reveal all that I am feeling. So, I keep my head down for the class period, taking down as many notes and working like a good little student. When the bell rings, I slowly gather my things, waiting for everyone else to clear out of the classroom.

  Though, Brock apparently thinks this is the best time to talk with me.

  "Callie, what's up?" Brock props his hip up against my desk, giving me a grin that I'm sure would've made me swoon if I didn't feel the heat of someone's eyes blazing in the back of my head.

  "Hi, Brock." I give him a small smile. I don't need to be a complete bitch to him.

  "So, I was thinking for homecoming we could either meet at the game, or I could pick you up and we could drive together –" His sentence is cut off by a crash up at the front of the classroom. Both Brock and I look towards the source of the crash and see a cupholder with pencils in it fallen over, and the pencils and pens one by one slowly rolling off Mr. Cooper's desk. Mr. Cooper is trying to pick them up, and as he is bending over I see the muscles in his jaw tensing and twitching, clearly irritated.

  "What I was saying was –" Brock begins again.

  "Yes, Brock. Sure. Let's text and make plans okay? I'm sure either would be fine." I give him a smile as I rush out my sentence at warp speed, trying to make him hurry along so that I can be alone with Mr. Cooper before I lose my nerve.

  "Oh yeah, sure. Sounds good." Brock and his easygoing self doesn't even realize the tension in the room, giving me one more laidback smile and then going to chat with Mr. Cooper for a second before leaving the room, slapping the doorframe on his way out.

  The moment that Brock exits, Mr. Cooper stops what he is doing, stands up and walks over to the door, quietly closing it. By his movements, I can tell that he is furious. His shoulders are tense and his back looks rigid. The tension is just rolling off of him in waves. This puts me on high alert, and I decide right now might not be the best time to ask him about us. I grab my things as I lose my nerve, but then suddenly smell his masculine, woodsy smell come up behind me.

  Stilling, I turn my head slightly to look behind me, and I notice that he has me caged into my desk area, giving me maybe an inch of wiggle room before pressing up against his slacks.

  "You're going to homecoming with that idiot?" He all but growls.

  "I-I-What?" I stutter, then internally slap myself. Stupid.

  "You're going out with Brock? The guy who smokes weed like he's headed to Woodstock and sleeps with enough students that you should be worried about catching an STD. That Brock." He whips me around and gets in my face, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself. "You are going out with him?"

  "He-he asked me to homecoming yesterday. And yes, I agreed. We're going as friends. And anyway, it's not like I'm dating anyone." I lift my chin in defiance, purposely trying to egg him on to see how he will react.

  "You are not going out with him." His words feather over my face, his lips so close they are nearly touching mine.

  "And why not?" I back up an inch, wanting to get a look in his eyes and be able to look at every emotion that I know is bleeding in mine. I'm tired of this push and pull. He wants me? He can have me. But if he doesn't want me, he needs to let me go.

  He looks at me and I can see the torment in them. He is struggling, that much is for sure. He reaches up with one hand ever so lazily and bring it up my back, gripping the back of my neck and giving it a squeeze. He then continues his journey to the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair and giving it a small tug, making my head tilt back and looking straight into the browns of his eyes. "I want you." His wants and needs are battling amongst each other. "I just…" He doesn't finish his sentence, capturing my mouth and moans with his words. His kisses me deep and long, reaching down with his free hand and grabbing onto my hip, pulling me in closer to him.

  I tentatively reach up with my hands and press them to his chest, enjoying the feel of his strong muscles. His heart beat under his chest feels like a stampede of horses, fast and erratic. Power surges through me, and I almost smirk knowing that he at least somewhat feels the same way I do, if the way his heart is beating is anything to go by.

  As I gain more courage, I slide my hands up from his chest up behind his shoulders. Just as I'm about to dig my hands into his hair as he did mine, he rips his mouth from mine, making me gasp. "Wha-" I start.

  "No. Callie, no. I'm sorry. I just can't. This is so wrong. You aren't even eighteen yet, right?" Slowly, I nod my head at him. "Fucking Christ! We need to stop this, Callie. We need to stop this now. Okay?" He is barely looking at me, and his voice almost sounds like he is in pain. Confused on where this came from, I am about to speak up when he whips around to look at me, and his eyes are not welcoming. Not welcoming at all.

  He walks over to the door to his classroom and opens it up, then walks back to his desk to resume picking up the pencils and pens, not even looking in my direction. And quiet as a mouse, I gather up my things and leave his classroom.

  Fuck him, and his damn pencils.

  * * * *

  I'm a zombie through next period and only halfway coherent when I get to lunch. Why didn't I just stay in bed today? I knew it – I fucking knew I should have just stayed home.

  I thought Mr. Cooper and me were finally going to get over this shit. But apparently, he is too hung up on my age. Whatever, fuck him. Grabbing my food, I walk over to the table where Mya and Leah are already sitting.

  "So, bi-atch. What happened at the office this morning?" Jesus, the office visit was only this morning? It feels like so much has happened since then.

  "Nothing, really. Mrs. Roule just wanted to catch up with me and see how everything has been." I mumble around a few french fries.

  "Seriously Callie. Is everything okay? You seem so off this today." Leah seems concerned as she leans forward on the table, taking a bite of her own lunch. Leah has on blue jeans with a white top today, and an oversized chunky knit pink cardigan over it. I'm ready to crawl into it and go to sleep.

  "I'm fine… I'm-I'm just on my period. Mya was right." I lie. I don't want to get into it. I can't get into it.

  "Haha! Knew it!" Mya laughs. Mya is wearing overalls over a light blue top that matches her hair, and I'm infinitely jealous that she can pull something like that off when I know I never could.

  "So…" I take a bite of my food for dramatic effect. "Brock asked me to homecoming."

  "Whoop!" Mya yells.

  "Oh my God, shut up." I groan, lowering my head.

  Leah claps in excitement. "Yay, we've got dates!" She is so happy, it is impossible not to at least grin along with her.

  "Uh, speak for yourself." Mya scowls at her twin.

  Leah pats her arm. "Don't worry sis, you always get asked before the big day." Mya grumbles an agreement and shrugs her arm off of her.

  We continue talking the rest through lunch and I at least attempt to act like a civilized human being.


  By the time lunch is over, I go back to zombie-mode and finish out the rest of the school day. I'm glad that I don't work today, because it would look bad if I called off, but I feel absolutely terrible and the last thing I want to do is going and be chipper in front of a ton of customers.

  I go straight home after school, telling Aunt Jenna that I have a headache and am going to bed after I do some homework. I completely forgot about the extra credit course I am supposed to go to after school on Tuesdays, but fuck it. I am definitely not dealing with Mr. Cooper any more today.

  I hop into bed, not even changing out of my hoodie and leggings, grab my headphones and put on my Death Cab for Cutie playlist. Finally, after about ten minutes, I finally let go of my sadness, allowing the river of tears to cascade down my face, crashing into each other like angry waves, and just… cry.

  TWELVE

  "So, you're planning to drive over straight after school?" Mya asks, leaning up against my locker.

  "Yeah. I have a bag in the car and everything, and my dress too. I talked to Aunt Jenna about it and she's cool with it. She just said to take a lot of pictures." I laugh.

  Today is homecoming. The last week and a half has been straight hell, but I've been trying to put a happy face on because I can't deal with the constant questions about what is wrong and people assuming it's about my mom, when actually it's about Mr. Cooper. We have barely said two words to each other since that moment in his class room, and he barely even looks at me at this point.

  In my attempt at staying strong, I have been in an at least decent mood even though my heart feels like it has been put through a meat grinder. I must be doing a somewhat okay job with my poker face, because no one has asked any questions. Thank God.

  I was able to switch a shift at the coffee shop and get off work tonight so that I could attend homecoming. Brock has been ever the gentleman this last week and he has actually become a really good friend. Between Mya, Leah and Brock, they have been keeping me company, so I haven't been drowning in my misery. I feel a hole in my heart that hasn't always been there, and I'm wondering if Mr. Cooper is feeling the same type of agony I have been feeling.