The Color of Us

by Jessica Park

  “No, not at all. Why?”

  “Because this soup is insane. It’s like velvet. Everything you cook is so damn good. How the fuck are you doing this?”

  It takes a bit for me to respond to his compliment because I am so staggered by his praise. Before I made my way back to Wake, I barely cooked anything. The love I’ve been receiving is so new and makes me so uncomfortable.

  “I don’t know. I research recipes tenfold, so that’s probably it. Watching cooking videos over and over must help.”

  “And you’ve fallen in love?” he suggests.

  It isn’t easy, but I finally break from his look. “Yes, I have. In more ways than one.”

  “Tell me how,” he whispers.

  I have to turn away and collect myself before I answer. “With cooking? It’s from the tastes, the smells, the process.” I nervously finish off the last of my bowl. “That sounds dumb, but I had no idea I could be creative. And it feels so wonderful to feed people, to sort of take care of them. It’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Most of all, I love how food seems to bring people together.”

  “Your brunches,” he says simply.

  “Yes, my brunches,” I agree.

  “Your creativity goes way beyond anything just food-related. You know how to design the fuck out of a house. Let’s not forget that. This place is going to be stunning when it’s done, and that’s all going to be because of you.”

  “And because of you.” I raise my glass. “Not just because of the work you’ve done, but also because of how you’ve inspired me.”

  Danny takes his time in finishing his soup before he smiles at me. “Have you accepted that not only might you have a natural talent for cooking for the masses, but that you might also have a specific talent for cooking for two?”

  “Perhaps.”

  Then, I ask him something that’s been in the back of my mind. “I want to know about this house. How it was so taken care of over so many years after my mom abandoned it. The level of devotion just doesn’t make sense.”

  After finishing his wine, he looks me dead in the eye. “It’s not that complicated, Callie. You’re family. Always have been. We’ve been waiting for at least one of you to come back, and I’m so glad it’s you.”

  “I am too.”

  When I take our bowls to the kitchen, I realize that I’m trembling so hard that when I put down the dishes, they pretty much crash into the sink. And my trembling only increases when I feel Danny behind me.

  “Sounds like you could use a bit more wine?”

  Slowly, I turn and take the full glass he offers, and I indiscreetly down most of it.

  “Thirsty?” he asks with a teasing smile.

  “Maybe, maybe not.”

  “Same,” he says softly and takes a big drink himself. “Nervous?”

  “Maybe, maybe not.”

  “Same.” He takes the glass from my hand and sets it down. “Feeling anything definitive right now?”

  I nod. “Eager.”

  He steps in closer. “For what?”

  “For you.”

  “Because you’ve fallen in love in another way?” He brushes my hair back and looks at me with undeniable longing. “God, I hope you have.”

  “Yes.”

  His hands are on my hips before I can say anything else, and he pulls me in. “Good. Because I cannot take this insatiable, consuming tension for another fucking second.”

  twenty-four

  When Danny tightens his hold on my waist, I have to grip the counter to stay standing, as he kisses me like no one has before. It’s tender and sensual, and despite our clear mutual lust, he goes slow. He takes his time and somehow makes me take mine. Our lips touch and play off each other, and I love how his arms move to wrap around me in the most caring of embraces. There is feeling in this kiss, something I’ve honestly never had before. And while that terrifies me, it also ignites me; then my tongue is in his mouth, and I’m silently begging him to kiss me harder.

  So, he does. And he also slides his touch down my lower back and keeps going until he’s reached the backs of my thighs, and he lifts me up onto the island. This is when his breathing starts to get slightly ragged, and he soon has to pull away from my mouth. But fortunately, he moves his lips to my neck, down the cut of my shirt, his mouth so hot and wet as he tastes my skin. When my hands go to his back, I grip down so hard that I’m sure I’m drawing blood, yet I can’t let go.

  “Danny …” I breathe out his name and pull up the hem of his shirt until he pauses only long enough to yank it over his head and let it drop to the floor.

  Even though I’ve seen him shirtless countless times, I’ve never been able to touch him, to savor the feel of his skin, and to press my hands against his muscular build the way that I’ve been dying to. So, now, I’m the one to take my time, to draw out all of these firsts between us. It takes more self-control than I knew I had, but I like how he watches as I walk my fingers over his biceps and shoulders and how I lower my hands over his chest and abs. The way he inhales sharply when I move even lower and cup the front of his jeans. How he sounds when I stand and tease my hold up and down, letting him know that I want more.

  I whisper, “Take me upstairs.”

  He doesn’t hesitate to put both hands under my ass, and he lifts me from my spot. My legs wrap around him as he carries me past the dining table and to the bottom of the stairs. Then, he holds me there. I love how he is unable to make it to the bedroom and needs to pause, crushing my back against the wall as he kisses me deeply again, making me feel how much he wants me. The way that I crave him is unparalleled. I’ve never wanted or needed anybody like this.

  Somehow, my feet find the floor, and I push his hands away and drag him up the stairs, but before we can even reach the landing, he stops us and tears off my shirt and tosses it aside. His bare chest presses against my back.

  Danny reaches for me again, trails his fingers just under my bra, and then grazes his lips over my shoulder, and it’s enough to make me scream. “I’ve wanted this from the first moment I saw you walk toward me just weeks ago,” he whispers in my ear. “And I want to give you everything.”

  “I have no doubt you will. And same,” I say, my voice shuddering.

  “Also no doubt.”

  It’s a real possibility that my legs are going to give out, so I turn and drop against the steps, and he leans in and starts kissing my neck. His tongue is hot against my skin when he rips away my bra, and I can’t help but shudder when his lips graze over my nipple and he begins to suck ever so gently. This kind of arousal is like nothing I’ve felt before, and I brace myself for more by putting a foot against the stair banister. And when he begins to suck harder and when I gasp and make the wooden railing snap and crash to the first floor, we both laugh lightly and fumble the few last feet up the stairs into the bedroom.

  As he backs me up further into the room, I stop him and begin slowly kissing his stomach and chest inch by inch, and I lure him toward the front of the bed as I undo the button on his pants. While I might be desperate to be with him, taste him, pleasure him, this is not something that I want to rush. This is something to be savored. I lower his zipper fully, ease down his jeans, and feel how hard he is through his boxer briefs.

  “You’re killing me,” he moans while I smooth my hand up and down.

  “Just as you’ve been killing me.”

  “Fair enough.”

  When I’ve teased him enough, when he’s as breathless as he’s already made me, he touches my shoulders, leaning me back against the mattress. The way he looks at me while he gets my shorts off is both decidedly heated and equally loving. I inch up the bed as he moves over me and sinks his tongue into my mouth, and we kiss and let our hands roam until I’m squirming and lifting my hips up against him.

  I can’t stand this any longer.

  “Schroeder, I need you,” I practically plead.

  He pushes onto his arms. “Do you have condoms? ’Cause if not, I bought some on
the way over. Not to be presumptuous, but I was wondering. Hoping.”

  “I also stopped at the store tonight after I dropped you off.” I smile and run my hands through his hair, unable to stop playing with the copper pieces that have been lightened by the sun. “Wait. So, we both bought condoms in town tonight?”

  “I’m sure nobody noticed.” He nuzzles his mouth against my neck.

  “Oh, I’m sure everybody noticed,” I say with a laugh.

  “Yeah, of course everybody noticed. But I don’t give a fuck. The only thing I care about right now is you.” He pushes up again and runs a finger over my cheek. “God, you’re so beautiful.”

  I can’t think of a reply because no one has ever said anything like this to me, but he doesn’t give me a chance anyway because he is now slowly crawling down my body and soon lowering my underwear. When he drops his mouth between my legs, I can only groan as he starts moving his lips and tongue so perfectly. As though he intrinsically knows what I need, what I like. And then he responds to the sounds I make, figuring out what is going to drive me over the edge and then giving me even more. He tightens his hands over my thighs as he builds my pleasure until I can tell that the intensity I’m feeling is going to take me over, and I take his hand in mine and squeeze while I writhe against his mouth.

  I am breathless and dizzy when my body starts to shudder over and over.

  Danny kisses his way back up to me, and I roughly push down his briefs.

  “That was …” There are no words, and I end up letting out another groan.

  “Yeah?” He brushes back my hair. “Good?”

  “Beyond.” My voice is shaky as I continue to catch my breath. “Nightstand. Now.”

  He reaches over and pulls out the box. “It’s been a hot minute since I’ve done this, so, you know, apologies if this is just a hot minute.”

  I laugh. “It’s been a hot minute for me too.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Pushing a year and a half probably.”

  “Okay, you have me beat. But only by a few months. So, we’re equally out of practice.” He tears open the wrapper with his teeth and reaches between us, smiling. “I bet we can figure this out though.”

  “I don’t have any doubt.”

  The sound of that condom being ripped open is undeniably hot.

  I glance down, but he puts a finger under my chin and lifts my eyes to his.

  “Look at me, Callie. And don’t move. Not just yet.”

  He eases my legs apart and moves himself just inside, teasing me, and it’s hard to see straight. As much as I’m dying to thrust my hips into his, I hold back, even when I’m gripping the sheets and pleading with him.

  The connection that I feel is almost threatening. I am simultaneously overheated and terrified. It’s a beautiful combination, and I’m falling so damn hard. He keeps us in this perfect place for longer than I thought possible. This beautiful, tortuous, teasing precipice before we have to commit.

  “Tell me that you’re not leaving me.”

  “Of course I’m not leaving you,” I pant.

  Danny slowly starts to move against me, rhythmically and beautifully. “And tell me that this is your home. For good.”

  I put my hands on his face and brush a finger over his lips. “Of course this is my home.”

  “I couldn’t stand it if you left me.”

  “That’s not going to happen.” My hips push up against him, and he practically growls.

  Finally, he pushes himself deep inside, and we both hear the cry of relief that I’ve been holding on to.

  Despite his earlier concern, he gives me way more than a hot minute.

  Both times.

  twenty-five

  It’s true that I’ve loved every morning that I’ve woken up in Wake, but this one is even more beautiful than usual.

  The sound of his deep sleep is intoxicating, and I roll over and set my arm over his tanned chest and listen to his breathing. The two nights he’s spent here—one innocent, one not so much—have, I suspect, given us both the best nights of sleep that either of us has slept in years. Alone, we both wake with nightmares. Together, we find peace.

  I slip from the bed, pull on a robe over my tank and underwear, and tiptoe out to the bathroom. After I brush my teeth, I turn and catch sight of myself in the full-length mirror. Out of curiosity, I pull my robe open and look at my body. Danny seemed pretty happy with it last night, and I realize that I wasn’t shy. In fact, I was noticeably comfortable with him. It’s been a while since I’ve truly looked at myself, and I can’t say that I’m unhappy. Danny was right when he subtly suggested I could stand to gain some weight because I can see that my breasts are fuller, my ass has shape, my legs have curves, and my collarbone isn’t so prominent. That California don’t eat most things diet I was on truly wasn’t doing me any favors. Now, I am cooking and eating what I want, and it feels fantastic. Gaining a few pounds here and there? A few curves? I don’t mind.

  I walk back to the bedroom, and while a small part of me hates to rouse him, I mostly feel no guilt when I do. And he doesn’t seem to mind when I’m straddled on top of him and coaxing him to open his eyes.

  “Morning.” The raw, rugged sound of his morning voice turns me on more, and I grind into him.

  He’s not himself yet, still bleary, but I’m dying for more of what we both felt last night. And maybe I want to confirm that we didn’t just have a one-night stand.

  “You’re . . . okay with what happened between us?” I ask.

  “Of course,” Danny murmurs. “And I hope it happens about a billion times over.”

  “Same.”

  He traces his fingers over my chest. “And just so you know, you are incredible when you come. In all ways. And I want it all again.”

  Suddenly, he flips me onto my back and uses one hand to pull down my underwear and spread my legs apart. “Like now.” For almost too long, he plays with me, soft with his touch, waiting until I’m dripping and pleading with him.

  “More,” I say with a whimper.

  “More?” he asks teasingly and moves a bit. “Like this?”

  “Yes,” I finally manage.

  “Not a problem.”

  When he finally guides two fingers inside me, he doesn’t thrust in and out stupidly and without care, the way most guys do. He wants to know how I feel, what feels good. What he’s doing to me. For me. He plays around, figuring out what I respond to, moving his touch until he makes me grasp on to him because he’s hitting a spot deep inside that I’ve never felt. It feels almost selfish to accept this much pleasure, but Danny has made me so unguarded.

  There’s a moment when I gasp so loudly and when he knows not to stop, and we both feel the deep wave that washes over me. And then he stays with me when that moment lasts longer than I thought it could.

  When I’ve calmed down and I’m curled up against him, I manage, “I’ve never felt anything like that.”

  “In a good way, I hope.”

  “In a perfect way. Seriously, what the fuck did you do to me?” I ask.

  “I love hearing you,” Danny says, “feeling you, watching how you move. It’s all so damn sexy.” Danny pulls me in for the best snuggle. “I know we missed the polar-bears part last night, but I think we’ve got the chill part down.”

  “Beyond down,” I agree.

  Because I’m totally up for some more chill, I start rubbing a hand over his briefs. Even though he’s already more than ready, I want to take my time, the way he has with me.

  As I’m about to crawl between his legs and taste him, there is a resounding bellow from downstairs.

  “Danny? Where are you? I know you’re here because your truck’s outside. Why are you here so early? Callie?”

  We both freeze.

  “Fuck,” Danny grumbles. “Paul. What time is it?”

  I grab my phone. “Eight fifteen.”

  “I didn’t think he’d be here this early.”

  As we’re scrambling to get dre
ssed, Paul suddenly yells out more loudly, “Really? You two again? For real? Best of luck getting dressed, Danny, because your shirt’s in the kitchen, and—what in the shit happened to the banister? I don’t want to know! And I also don’t want to know why there’s a bra hanging from the railing! But, what did I tell you about canoodling? I’m feeding your obviously neglected dog, and then I’ll be outside.”

  I smile. “Guess the multiple condom purchases didn’t hit his radar.”

  “The day is still young,” he points out with a sigh.

  For the first time since I’ve been back to Wake, Danny looks worried.

  “Hey, you okay? Paul’s going to get over it.” I slip on my shorts and round the bed to where he is buttoning his jeans.

  “I guess.” He takes me in his arms and kisses the top of my head. “Paul probably thinks of you like a daughter, and now, I’m the guy who, you know—”

  “Chilled me?”

  At least he laughs lightly. “Yeah.”

  “And he thinks of me like a daughter? Really?”

  “He does.”

  While I’m surprised to hear this, I’m very moved. “That’s really sweet.”

  “So, he’s probably feeling protective,” Danny suggests.

  “Well, no matter what, we’re both adults. We can chill whomever we want.”

  He hugs me tightly. “That might be true, but it’s also true that Paul is gonna work my ass off today.”

  “Then, you’ll need a breakfast and some coffee.”

  “Any chance you’ll share that icy orange juice of yours?”

  I lift up and kiss him. “Only with you.”

  “You truly are a goddess.” He kisses me back. “And I am truly excited to get started on prepping the house to be painted. You still want to keep it white?”

  “I do. But you’ll be pleased to know that I wanted to do the front door a shade of orange.”

  “Yeah?” he asks with surprise.

  “And then I realized how Halloween-ish it would be with the black roof.”