by JJ Harper
Gus lies beneath me, eyes closed. A euphoric expression lights up his face, bliss exuding from him. My arms are stiff, holding my weight from his frame, as I drag much-needed oxygen into my lungs. Then he opens his eyes and yanks me down onto him.
“My bloody mother was right!” He chuckles.
“What?”
“Huh, no, sorry. Maybe later.” Gus gives me a loving smile as he pulls my face down to his.
As I hold Gus under the pounding spray of my shower, his face hasn’t lost the enigmatic look.
Me and my blabbermouth. He’s not going to let it drop. We’ve only just started to get to know each other. We’ve spent more hours in bed than we have talking and learning about each other. Tonight has been different, though. We talked and talked and talked some more. He knows about my family, and he told me about his brother and the relationship they have with each other, how they became the only family they needed. I like that they stuck together when their parents stopped giving a shit.
“You okay, baby.” Max strokes down my neck and over my shoulders. It’s such a tender touch, one that feels so familiar, like he’s done it to me a thousand times before. It’s like I’ve been waiting for him, that he’s the man I’m supposed to be with. “Talk to me, Gus, I’m freaking out a bit here. Have I done something wrong?”
His concern is genuine not only in the tense set of his jaw and the crease of worry on his forehead but also in his eyes as they stare deeply into my own. Dare I share my thoughts and feelings? The water is pounding down on us. Droplets cling at his eyelashes, sparkling like diamonds. Then he blinks, and they fall to join the others on his cheeks. Without thinking, I brush his cheek with one finger, searching for the right words. He turns his head and places a kiss on the palm of my hand, the gesture so sweet my heart beats faster.
“No, you haven’t, I promise. We should get clean and get out of here. Then I’ll try to explain what I’m feeling. Just promise you won’t laugh or call me crazy.”
With a nod, Max picks up the soap and rubs it in his hands to build up a lather, then washes me. His hands stroke over every inch of me in smooth, gentle circles, starting on my neck and travelling down over my chest and stomach. He nibbles at my ear, trails over my cheek, and takes my mouth in a hot kiss. But it’s a different kiss from the ones we share as we desperately strip our clothes off or when we’re fucking. This has every emotion I’m feeling in it—fear, want, longing for more. More of this, more of him. Is it possible we could be on the same page?
When we’re both clean, the last remnants of sex washed down the drain, Max switches off the shower and passes me a large charcoal-grey towel. He then takes another for himself from the heated towel rail.
We dry ourselves in silence, both deep in thoughts. Max gingerly takes my hand and leads me back to his bed. I lie down on my side, facing him, as he mirrors my position.
“Talk to me, or at least explain why you mentioned your mother after your epic orgasm.” He has lost a bit of his tension, but not all the concern is gone.
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that. It was a bit of a mood killer.” I shake my head but manage to keep my eyes on his.
“That doesn’t explain what you meant.”
“I know, but I’m not sure if it’s something you want to hear.” I muster a smile, but by the look in his eyes, it doesn’t work.
“Try me.”
“Fine, but I’m warning you. At best, you’ll think I’m crazy, and at worst, this will be the last time we do this.” I sigh, closing my eyes for a moment. I hope I’m still here in ten minutes.
“Gus, baby. Tell me what’s going on.” A look of panic flashes across his face.
“I’ve told you that my mother has always been a bit quirky, a bit of a hippy. Long skirts and dresses, flowery tops, beaded necklaces. You get the picture. Oh, and silver bangles on her wrists. They tinkle when she moves her arms. And she does that a lot. Talking with her hands when she’s more than happy to share whatever she’s thinking. Whether it should be said out loud or not.
“I always felt like I should be embarrassed by her, but it was who she is. My friends loved her. Our house was always more relaxed than theirs. Rules were few and far between because respect was always given and received in return. Often, her lack of filter has shocked those around her, but she cared little about their reactions. She said that was their choice based on their ideas and beliefs of what is wrong or right. I’ve developed my own confidence because of her and the way I was raised. I love them both so much. Anyway, I’ve moved off the point.”
Max lays a gentle hand on my cheek.
“She met my father, and that was it. They got married a month after they met and haven’t been a day apart since. She told me that when you meet the one person you’re supposed to be with, you’ll know it. That it’ll happen when you least expect it.” I’m unable to say any more without giving away the huge lump in my throat that’s holding my emotions in place.
Max blinks a couple of times, then licks his bottom lip. My eyes track his tongue as if in slow motion. “And that’s what happened. You felt like that? You got that feeling tonight with me?”
“I’ve felt a strong connection to you when I first saw you. You’ve said the same thing. But tonight, when you were staring into my eyes as I held you, I felt so much more, like you were the one, my person.” I bite on my lip. What’s he thinking? Why doesn’t he say anything?
“Look, I know it’s too soon. We’ve only known each other for what, five days? I don’t expect you to take this seriously, so maybe it’s best if you ignore what I said. I think I should go home. I don’t want you to feel like you have to be with—” Max’s finger presses against my lips, which is a good thing because I was making an even bigger fool of myself.
“Stop talking, baby. Let me get a word in.” He’s gazing at me with so much emotion the gold in his eyes is glittering. “I feel the same way, Gus. I can’t get enough of you and haven’t stopped thinking about you since I set eyes on you. I want to be with you all the time. I want to know what you’re thinking when you bite the edge of your thumb and that little frown spreads over your forehead. You fascinate me. I want to know what makes you laugh, what you’ll cry over. Everything, Gus. I want to know everything. The way you make me feel is like nothing I’ve ever known before. And as for when I’m inside you, fuck, I don’t think there are words to describe how perfect it is.”
“Really?” Is this happening? My eyes start to burn, but I blink away any chance of embarrassing myself by crying. “I’m not sure it’s supposed to be this easy.”
Max laughs. “I think this is the beginning, baby. It’s not always going to be like this, but knowing that we’re both feeling the same is a good start.” He leans closer. “A really fucking good start.” He kisses me, grabbing my hips and rolling back so I’m on top of him, our mouths never separating.
The long, lazy, and loving strokes of his tongue against mine has my trapped dick twitching between our bodies. But I’m not the only one affected. His plumps up too. His kiss turns into a smile.
“You’re insatiable.” He chuckles as I rock my hips.
“Are you complaining?”
“Nope, I never will. Ride me, baby.”
After another explosive round of sex and another shower, we get back in bed, and with his arms wrapped around me, I fall into a deep, contented sleep.
My brain is waking up far too quickly as it tries to work out too many things at once, while my body is refusing to cooperate with any of it. I’m in Max’s bed, his rich intoxicating smell lingering on the sheets and pillow. But I’m alone. Not like the couple of times I woke up in the night when he was wrapped around me like a limpet. A huge, sexy limpet, but a limpet all the same.
As I unfurl my legs, I feel the delicious pull and ache in my arse and the muscles in my butt. A small moan escapes my lips as I visualise me on top of him, slowly rocking back and forth. The blissed-out look on Max’s face as I squeezed around his shaft as he was buri
ed to the full. My dick twitches. Oh no, Mister, you can cut that out. That’s what got me into this state of aching and well fucked in the first place.
I squirm in his bed, stretching my arms above my head, then roll onto my side. What time is it? Finding that out would mean I have to open my eyes, and I’m not ready for that yet. I’m still happily remembering the words Max whispered to me, the promises of more. The way he stared into my eyes as he moved inside me, slowly taking me higher and higher into another blissful orgasm, as we made love for the first time.
Am I jumping the gun? Maybe. I hope not, but I won’t mention it yet. Those three little words can wait until I’m sure this is love, not lust talking to me. For the first time in a long while, I’m looking forward to being in a relationship again. After the last one ended so badly, I’d sworn off men for nearly a year, and then it was only hook-ups when I was feeling horny.
This time, with Max, I know it’ll be different. I learnt a hard lesson, and that was to stay true to myself, to speak up if I don’t like something. I won’t be a doormat again. Ever. But from what I’ve seen of Max so far, he won’t treat me like that and is interested in me as I am. As long as he respects my wishes for him to not be all bossy or act like the green-eyed monster if someone flirts with me. It’ll be interesting to see how he deals tonight.
My bladder has decided I need to get out of bed. When I get back, there’s still no sign of Max. I crawl back into bed, not ready to adult yet. A couple of minutes later, Max enters the bedroom, wearing a pair of black briefs that are doing a fabulous job of cupping his junk. God, he’s perfect.
“Morning, baby. Did you sleep well?” He’s holding a mug in each hand, and the steam and delicious aroma have my mouth watering. Hmm, coffee in bed. Not a bad way to start the day.
“I did, thank you. I needed it. It was late by the time we got out of the shower the second time.” I waggle my eyebrows. His eyes darken in response.
“I’m going to be knackered by the time we close tonight.” He places one of the mugs on the table next to me. “What have you got on today? Any lectures?”
“No, not today. I need to do some research for my dissertation, and I’ll probably do my washing. I’m running out of clean clothes. Then I’ll be at work with you tonight. What about you?”
Max climbs into bed and props up his pillows against the headboard, then rests back on them. “I’ve got a meeting with one of our suppliers at twelve. After, I’ll probably go to the gym for an hour. I’m making Jonas take the day off, so I’ll be there from about three.”
“What time is it now? I need to find my phone.”
“It’s just gone nine. There’s no rush.” He puckers his lips. “I think I deserve a kiss for making you coffee.”
“I think you do too.” I move closer to meet him and press my lips to his. “Thank you for my coffee, Max.”
When the most tedious meeting ends, I’m ready to bang my head on the desk. How does Jonas deal with this day in day out? I wander to the break room and grab a coffee. I’d normally use the incredibly expensive but fabulous machine we have behind the bar, but if I want to get to the gym, I need to go soon.
My phone rings, startling me, and I end up slopping boiling water over the back of my hand. “Fuckfuckfuck!” I set the kettle on the counter and, ignoring the spilt water, hurry back to the office.
It’s Jonas, which pisses me off even more. Doesn’t he trust me to do this? “What do you want, Jo? This is supposed to be your day off.” I go back to the break room and turn on the cold tap. I hiss at the pain as the stream hits my hand.
“Hey, can’t I call to say hi? What’s got into you? Was it Paul Owens? He can go on a bit. Is that running water?”
“Yes. No. I mean no, you should be enjoying your time away from here. I’ve just burnt my hand and got it under the tap. And oh my god, how much does he love himself?” I brush off the burn comment, even though the back of my hand is now bright red, and blisters are forming.
“How bad?”
“What, the meeting? It was good. I got the discount we discussed. He wasn’t too happy about it, but we get through so many spirits he didn’t really have a choice. If he wants us to stay with him, then he’ll suck it up.”
“No, dickhead, your hand. How badly is it burnt?”
“Just a little bit red. I’ll be fine, Jonas. Don’t fuss.” I count in my head, knowing I won’t get to five before he says he’s on his way in. I get to four, and that’s only because he sucks in a breath.
“I’ll be there in half an hour.”
“No, Jonas. Stay home. Do something that doesn’t have anything to do with work. Hell, go on Grindr. Get your end away. Stop making this place the only thing in your life.” My voice rises at the end, and I sigh. “I’m sorry, Jo.”
“You’re right, Max, but it keeps me centred and makes me stop dwelling on the past.”
“But you’re doing so much better now. You don’t need to push yourself so hard.”
I pull my hand out from under the water and turn off the tap. The blisters are still there, but the burn isn’t looking as angry. I feel bad for upsetting my brother. He’s always been here for me. He’s the sensible one, the one to pick up the pieces when our parents chucked us out of our home. He found us a shitty bedsit that was only just big enough to fit two single beds in. He persuaded his boss to give me a job collecting glasses in the pub where he worked, even though I was only seventeen.
“You’ll be no good to me if you run yourself to the ground. I’ll be okay. I’m a big boy now. Well, Gus seems to think so.”
“That’s gross. I don’t need to hear about your dick.” He chuckles. “Is it busy?”
I check the screen showing the bar area. “It’s not too bad. Sawyer and Leo are handling it well. I was planning to go to the gym, but I’ll leave it now. Gus and Beck are in at seven, when these two finish. We’re going to need another bartender, though. None of the servers want the job. They like being on the floor. It’s less stressful.”
“They like getting more tips, you mean. We need to work things differently, maybe only have servers on the quieter nights when the service is appreciated.”
“Jonas, we need more staff. But that’s a good thing. We’re busy. It’s working. We can afford to pay at least two more behind the bar. I’ll sort out the ad this afternoon. We can put it in the paper and have flyers again. We got Gus from one of them.”
“Okay, use them again.” He sighs. “I’ll let you go. Have a good day. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
The line goes silent. I shake my hand. It really fucking hurts.
The buzzer rings from the bar, which means I’m needed. I pocket my phone and walk out. Sawyer is standing with his arms crossed over his chest, a scowl on his face. Leo gives me a relieved look. I immediately see the problem. Sawyer’s cheating ex, Danny, is here. A little behind him stands a scared-looking man. His new boyfriend probably.
“You can’t make us leave. We have every right to drink here.” Danny sneers at Sawyer, who, I’ll give him his due, says nothing. “So serve us our drinks.”
“That’s not going to happen, gentlemen. I think it’s best you leave.” Sawyer’s face loses his stern expression, and relief flashes in his eyes. Did he think I wouldn’t back him up over this?
The man with Danny pulls on his arm, imploring him to let it go. “Come on, I told you it was a dumb idea.”
“I don’t see why. It’s a bar, open to the public.” Danny is still facing off Sawyer.
“You’re right, but as the owner, I have the right to refuse entry to anyone I think is here to cause upset and trouble. Off you go. This town offers plenty of other places you can drink where you won’t be harassing the staff.” I open my arms wide as if to herd them towards the door. With a glare to Sawyer, Danny turns on his heel and stomps out, his boyfriend hurrying after him.
“Sorry, Max,” Sawyer says, looking embarrassed.
“It’s not a problem, Sawyer. Do you want to take a break?�
�� He’s already shaking his head before I can finish speaking.
“No, I’m fine. I wasn’t going to serve him. I was waiting to see how far he’d push me. Leo called for you, not me.”
“The guy is an arsehole, Sawyer. He’s as mean as a snake.” Leo squeezes his shoulder. “You’re so much better off without him.”
“I know, and you’re right. It doesn’t make me feel any better. Maybe I will take a break after all, Max. Thanks for getting rid of him.” He shrugs and walks out to the staff area.
I take his place behind the bar and serve the next customer.
When Sawyer returns five minutes later, he’s back to his usual cheerful self, and the afternoon passes quickly. I’m surprised when Beck walks in. Is it seven already? My heart beats a little faster, and butterflies take flight in my stomach. Where’s Gus?
My gaze flies to the doorway. There he is, looking fabulous. He immediately seeks me out. We both smile, and Leo laughs. “Oh god, you two are so cute together. It’s sickening. I’m so jealous.”
“Yeah, he’s awesome,” I say, my eyes fixed on Gus as he saunters towards me. He’s got a smudge of eyeliner, making his eyes pop. The blue and green sparkle like jewels in the sunlight. His hair is messy as if he’s had his hands in it all afternoon, but I’m guessing it took ten minutes in front of the mirror to get it looking like that. He wears bands with tiny jet beads clinging to them, and a thin leather strap is wound around his wrist a couple of times. He is the epitome of cool. And he’s mine. I can ignore the way everyone else is looking at him because I know he’s mine. He wants me. I’m his person. Out of the thousands of people in this city, we found each other when we weren’t even looking for anyone, not seriously anyway. What are the odds? I know Gus was on the pull that night. The thought of him with someone else makes me feel slightly sick. If I’d said no to Dean and stayed home, Gus would’ve found another man to take to bed.
“Why are you scowling?” He leans over the bar and kisses me.
