Having You Is Never Enough

by E. L. Todd

  “Why is he still there?” she demanded, pulling the jacket tighter around her.

  The small question was plaguing me. “He should leave soon.”

  “He’s probably going to go home then. This was a waste of time.” She sighed in irritation.

  “We don’t know that for sure.”

  She moved toward my side of the car and snuggled with me. Her head was on my shoulders and her arm was around my waist.

  I tried to keep my eyes open and watch his car, but the fatigue was taking me. Eventually, my eyes grew too heavy and they fell.

  ***

  The sun woke me up the next morning. My eyes fluttered open and I felt Skye’s body on top of mine. She had crawled into my lap during the night and now she was completely on top of me.

  She was weightless so I hadn’t noticed. But our body temperatures kept both of us warm.

  She stirred at the same time. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and yawned.

  My hand moved into her hair and I kissed her on the forehead like I did every morning. Then I squinted my eyes and looked through the windshield.

  Slade’s car was still there.

  What. The. Hell.

  “He slept there?” she asked. “Why?”

  “I’m wondering the same thing…”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever been this confused in my life.” She moved back to her side of the car.

  I scratched my head, irritated I couldn’t figure out this puzzle. I loved a challenge and I liked solving problems that seemed unsolvable, but this was driving me crazy. What possible reason would have made him stay?

  “Maybe he was too drunk to drive?” Skye reasoned.

  “But why would he be drinking with Trinity?” I asked. “That doesn’t make sense.”

  Skye started shaking her knees back and forth. “I really have to pee. And I’m starving. And I’m hungry.”

  Thankfully, I made decent money from my scholarship funds. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to support Skye. She was by far the most expensive girlfriend I ever had. She ate more than I did most of time. “Okay. We’ll refuel then come back.”

  “Come back?” she asked.

  “Why? He’s just going to go home.”

  “But what if he doesn’t?” I asked. “Something about this situation is rubbing me the wrong way. We’re missing something.”

  She kept shaking her knees. “If you don’t let me pee, I’m going to ruin your seat,” she threatened.

  I laughed then started the car. “Alright, alright. Let’s go.”

  ***

  After we got food, coffee, and emptied our bladders we returned to the same parking spot.

  And Slade’s car was still there.

  Hours passed and we entertained ourselves with cards and our smart phones. We started playing games and told each other jokes. When the sun had set again, I was even more confused.

  “Is he sleeping there again?” she asked incredulously.

  “That can’t be right…”

  “I don’t think I can sleep in this car again…”

  The idea didn’t sound thrilling to me either.

  “I’m interested in what Slade is up to…but I’d rather go home and get laid.”

  Her declaration caught my attention. Sex with Skye was always amazing. It was nearly impossible to turn it down. But now I needed to know what Slade was up to. Why was he staying at Trinity’s? Who was his boyfriend? “I can take you home but I’m going to come back.”

  She eyed me. “You’re really curious, aren’t you?”

  “It’s driving me crazy. Perhaps there’s more going on in Slade’s life than I realized. And the fact he’s turning to Trinity for comfort is insulting. My door is always open…”

  She gave me a sad look. “You and Slade are going to be fine.”

  I wasn’t so sure. You knew your relationship had taken a wrong turn when the other person preferred their enemy over you.

  She patted my hand. “I’ll stay.”

  I knew she would. “Thanks. Maybe we can fool around in here…”

  Mischief shined in her eyes. “What are you thinking?”

  I didn’t need to answer her question. She knew.

  Skye pulled her hair into a ponytail then put her head in my lap.

  I leaned back against the seat and enjoyed several minutes of bliss.

  ***

  Slade slept over again. He hadn’t left the house once and neither did she.

  I officially had given up. I couldn’t figure out why he was there or what was going on. I was tempted to knock on the front door and ask.

  Skye was growing more irritated being cooped up in a car. The entire weekend had passed, and now Sunday afternoon had arrived. We took a break and got refreshments, and then we were back on Trinity’s block.

  “I don’t think we’re going to discover anything new sitting out here. When Slade leaves, he’ll just go home. The weekend is over.”

  “But why is he here?” I demanded. “Why?” It was eating me alive.

  “I don’t know,” she said with a sigh. “I can ask Trinity tomorrow. She’ll tell me.”

  “Maybe she’s hiding something from him. Honestly, I didn’t know they even talked, let alone had weekend sleepovers.”

  Skye didn’t respond but I knew she agreed with me.

  The sun had set on the third day.

  “Okay, I’m throwing in the towel,” Skye exclaimed. “I’m officially done with this stakeout.”

  I was sick of it too. All we did was waste time. Skye and I had a lot of fun during the operation but now it was getting stale and old. We were both anxious to get out of the car and do something else. “I’m done too. I guess we’ll have to follow him during the week.”

  “You can do that,” she said. “I’m done.”

  I sighed then started the car. My curiosity would stretch endlessly, but sitting in this car wouldn’t get me any closer to the truth.

  Then Slade walked outside.

  “There he is!” Skye sat up with wide eyes.

  I turned my attention to the driveway. He headed to his car with Trinity walking beside him.

  “He’s not wearing the same thing he wore when he got there,” Skye noted.

  “So?” My eyes were glued to Slade.

  “Well, he didn’t leave with a bag...so he had a change of clothes already there.”

  She was right.

  Skye and I both watched Slade and Trinity. They reached his car then faced each other. I wasn’t sure what to expect. I couldn’t hear what they were saying but I hoped something indicative would happen.

  Then Slade moved her against his car then pressed his body against hers. Then he cupped her face and gave her a long and slow kiss. Trinity’s arms wrapped around his neck while she returned the embrace with as much intensity. A minute of kissing passed, their mouths stuck together. Then Slade ended the embrace but his face was pressed close to hers. He whispered something, making her smile slightly. Then he dropped his embrace and got into the car. When he left the street I started to breath again.

  Skye and I both looked at each other, our jaws dropped.

  Oh. My. Fucking. God.

  Chapter Seven

  Skye

  Slade was definitely not gay.

  Cayson and I were speechless for hours, processing what we witnessed on their lawn. Slade and Trinity were together, like together, and it was clear they’d been together for a while. He slept there all weekend, and when he kissed her goodbye, he embraced her like he loved her.

  I can’t believe she didn’t tell me. She hid it from me for so long, making a fool out of all of us. I didn’t have the slightest idea they were sneaking around. How long had they been doing it? Did he love her? Did she love him? Were they friends? What was their relationship like? Did they talk? And if so, about what? I just couldn’t picture the two of them getting along for longer than a minute.

  Cayson was just as shocked as I was. “Th
at really happened, right? We didn’t both hallucinate the same thing at the same time?” He sat on his couch and stared at the blank TV screen.

  “Yeah…I think so.”

  Cayson rubbed his temple. “This whole time we’ve been treating him like he’s coming out of the closet, but he was sleeping with Trinity the whole time. Wow, we were totally off.”

  I sat beside him, keeping my hands in my lap. “Why are they hiding it?”

  “Judging by our reaction, I can understand why. Slade hooking up with Trinity was the last thing I ever expected.”

  “Me too.” Now I thought about her relationship with Reid, which ended, and her date with Scott that didn’t go well. “But now it all makes sense.”

  “I guess it does…”

  “Should we tell the others?”

  Cayson rubbed his hands together. “No. Never.”

  I was thinking the same thing.

  “Slade has been keeping their relationship a secret for a reason. He didn’t want anyone to know, and it would be wrong to blab to everyone else about it. We shouldn’t even know about it in the first place. Now I feel like shit for spying on him.”

  “Are you going to confront him about it?”

  Cayson brought his fingertips to his lips while he remained lost in thought. His shoulders were tense and rigid. His mind seemed to be elsewhere. “When he kissed her, it wasn’t a quick goodbye. He held her like he would miss her. And she returned that affection, smiling when they broke apart. Whatever their relationship is, it has meaning. I’m afraid if he knows I know, he’ll destroy what he has. If there’s a chance that Trinity means something to him, if he loves her, I don’t want to mess that up. But I wish he would talk to me about it…”

  I rubbed his shoulder, feeling the same pain. “I’m upset Trinity didn’t tell me either…”

  He shook his head slightly. “I still can’t believe this…”

  “Neither can I.” Every time I thought about what I saw, it hit me like it had the first time. It was so unexpected and illogical.

  “Now his behavior makes sense…” Cayson rubbed his chin. “All his odd questions, the book he had, how he dodged going out with the guys all the time…some of the things he said to me…it all fits.”

  “He must have been talking to Scotty to keep him away from Trinity.” I suddenly put it together. “That’s why he was on their date.”

  “Yeah,” Cayson agreed. “And that’s the real reason she stopped seeing Reid—because of Slade.”

  Together we worked through history.

  “How long do you think it’s been going on?” he asked.

  I shrugged. “I have no idea. They did an amazing job hiding it.”

  “Are they just sleeping together?” he asked. “Or is this serious?”

  “I wish I knew.”

  He rubbed his temples again. “Maybe I can coerce him into telling me, like pressure him on a date or something. Then he’ll be forced to blurt it out.”

  “But we don’t know why he’s keeping it a secret,” I said. “Maybe they have a good reason to.”

  He nodded. “You’re right.” He sighed then leaned back in his chair. “I didn’t think Slade would change for anybody, let alone Trinity.”

  “I wonder how it happened.”

  “I’d give anything to know.” Cayson pulled me against his chest while we thought about Slade and Trinity, wondering what their relationship was like. Was he sweet to her? Was she sweet to him? Would they ever come out of the dark? Would they ever be a real couple? Would Trinity ever confide in me? The fact she hadn’t hurt. She didn’t trust me?

  ***

  I joined Trinity in the library like I did every afternoon. But today was different. Today, I knew her darkest secret. Today, I knew her in a different way.

  I put my books down then glanced at her.

  Like always, she was flipping through a magazine.

  I played with my pencil in my hand. “Have a good weekend?”

  She acted normal. “It was okay.” She flipped another page then narrowed her eyes on an image. Then she took out her pin and made a note.

  “What did you do?”

  She didn’t meet my gaze. “Nothing, really. I watched TV, working on my sketches, and read.”

  “You didn’t go out?” I asked tentatively. “Or have anyone over…?”

  “Nope.” She folded the corner of a page before she moved on.

  I can’t believe she was hiding this from me. I told her everything. Every embarrassing and humiliating thing that ever happened to me was confided to her. I knew she would take my secrets to the grave. Did she not feel the same way? Did I do something wrong? If she asked me to keep a secret, even from Cayson, I would do it. I knew I shouldn’t make the situation about myself but I was hurt. Did she love Slade? Was their relationship going somewhere? I had to know. She must want to talk to someone about it. “I’m your best friend, right?”

  She finally looked up, confusion on her face. “Yeah…why?”

  “We just don’t talk that much anymore…”

  “Well, we’re talking now.” She closed the magazine. “What do you want to talk about?”

  “Um…how’s it going with you?”

  “Fine. You?”

  “Fine.”

  I wasn’t commandeering this conversation correctly. “Anything new going on in your life?”

  “No. You?”

  “No.”

  For the first time, it was awkward. I never felt tense around her. Now I wondered what else she hid from me. Did I really know her?

  “So…are you seeing anybody?” I tried to play it cool but had a feeling I was doing a horrible job of it.

  “No, not really.” She looked me straight in the eye and lied. She lied. There was no internal struggle or pain. It was like the act didn’t mean anything to her. And that hurt.

  “Not a single person? Not even casually? Or maybe a fling?”

  Her eyes narrowed. “No. I said that already. Skye, is there something up with Cayson?”

  “No, we’re fine,” I blurted. “I just feel like you haven’t really talked about your personal life.”

  “There’s nothing to say. And I tell you everything, Skye.”

  Oh really? “You never said what happened to Scott.”

  She shrugged. “Not my type.”

  “You had a huge crush on him. I distinctly remember you telling me you wanted to jump his bones.”

  She started to get defensive. “It just didn’t work out, okay? His personality wasn’t that great.”

  “But you still could have slept with him.”

  “I didn’t want to,” she argued. “Why do I feel like I’m getting the third degree right now?”

  “I just feel like we’ve drifted apart…like I don’t know you anymore.”

  Her eyes sagged in sadness. “Skye, where is this coming from? Last time I saw you we were fine. Now you’re acting like we haven’t spoken in years. We just got dinner on Thursday. I know you spend a lot of time with Cayson and that’s totally fine. I’m not upset. Do you feel guilty or something?”

  “No,” I said quickly. Why wouldn’t she just tell me?

  “Okay…” She picked up her magazine again.

  I knew my attitude had only pushed her further away. I internally hated myself for the poor way I treated her. I was just frustrated and hurt. Of all people, I thought I would have been told about Slade. Why was she shutting me out? I concentrated on my textbook again.

  Slade joined our table and sat next to Trinity. Like she meant nothing to him, he didn’t look at her. It was like she didn’t exist. Trinity didn’t look at him either. I watched them, judging their interaction. Just yesterday they kissed each other like passionate lovers. Now they were indifferent toward each other. It was a great performance, good enough to fool everyone, including myself.

  Slade munched on burrito and ate quietly. Trinity flipped through her magazine.

  “How was your weekend?” I asked Slade.


  “Fine.” His elbows were on the table and he ate with no manners.

  “What did you do?” I asked.

  “Played ball, did some gambling, watched TV, picked up some chick from the bar.” Then he gave me a meaningful look. “Because I’m not gay. And then did a little weed.”

  He lied so eloquently and fluidly that I wouldn’t have questioned it if I hadn’t known the truth. Slade was as great of a liar as Trinity was. “What was her name?” I asked.

  “Who?” Slade asked.

  “The girl from the bar.”

  “Oh.” He finished chewing. “Cassandra.”

  “What did she look like?”

  “Brunette, big tits.”

  “What bar did you go to?” I was going to catch him in a lie somewhere.

  “Tilly’s.”

  “What night?”

  “Saturday.”

  “Hmm…Cayson and I were there on Saturday. I don’t remember seeing you.”

  Slade hid his discomfort. “Probably because I was having sex in the bathroom.” He played it cool, and did a marvelous job at it.

  “Cayson and I were in the bathroom too. Don’t remember anyone else having sex in there.”

  “We were in the ladies restroom,” he said quickly. “And why does this feel like an interrogation?” he snapped.

  I sighed in defeat. I was going to get nowhere with these two. They were too good. They’ve been sneaking around for who knows how long. They were obviously masters of their craft.

  “Skye, you alright?” Trinity asked.

  “I’m fine,” I mumbled. I turned my attention back to my textbook.

  Cayson took the seat next to me. He gave me a quick kiss and didn’t speak. He wasn’t himself today and I knew exactly why. The fact Slade hid something so paramount from him was a slap in the face.

  Cayson stared at Slade and Trinity just as I had done a few minutes ago. “What’s new?”

  “This burrito is awesome,” Slade said.

  “I designed a new dress,” Trinity said.

  Cayson turned back to me, giving me a look I could easily read.

  They weren’t going to fess up anytime soon.

  Chapter Eight

  Trinity

  Slade walked inside at five o’ clock. “Well, it looks like everyone finally believes I’m not gay.”