Having You Is Never Enough

by E. L. Todd

  “Well, I’m shocked he made it this far.”

  “That makes two of us.”

  “But if he loves you, I’m sure it’ll happen.”

  Thinking about him with anyone else made me sick. “Skye, I’m scared…”

  Her eyes turned serious. “Why?”

  “Because I love him so much…I never thought it would happen. Do you feel this way about Cayson? You love him so much that the idea of losing him makes you want to jump off a cliff?”

  “I used to feel that way in the beginning. What would happen to our friendship if it didn’t work? The idea of losing him forever scared me enough to withhold most of my heart. But he convinced me my fear was unnecessary, and since then, I haven’t thought about it once. I know he’s mine until the end of time.”

  Cayson and Slade weren’t comparable so I shouldn’t even bother trying. “I hope we get there someday.”

  She patted my hand. “You’ll get there. Slade just needs you to be patient. If he’s come this far, imagine how much further he could go.”

  I nodded. “You’re right.”

  “And seeing that romantic scene in the hospital told me everything I needed to know.” Her eyes shined with affection. “That man will do anything for you, slit his own throat, just to make you happy. He gives you the same look Cayson gives me. And somehow, I think what you have with Slade is even stronger than what Cayson and I have.”

  My heart quickened. “Really?”

  She nodded, a smile still on her lips. “You guys took a journey together that no one else would survive. You’ve beaten all odds, and with every passing obstacle you guys only become stronger. My love with Cayson is dull compared to yours. We should be looking up to you, not the other way around.”

  My heart fluttered in my chest when I processed her words. Slade and I were complicated, different, but there was no doubt what we had. For the first time, I didn’t worry about losing Slade. I knew he was mine forever—even if he didn’t know it yet.

  ***

  “About time that damn gorilla left.” Slade walked inside then headed to me on the couch. His arms wrapped around me and he placed a hard kiss on my lips. He squeezed me to his chest like a child gripping a teddy bear.

  I chuckled against his lips then pulled away.

  His hand pulled the hair from my face then he fisted it, anchoring me to him His touch had become more possessive and territorial the longer we were together. When I was taken away from him, he was on edge, irritated by the loss. “How are you?”

  “Good. You?”

  “Horrible,” he blurted. “Did you take your medication?”

  I nodded. “Yep.”

  “Is your leg okay?”

  “Slade, I’m fine.” We had this conversation every day. “If I’m in pain, I’ll let you know.”

  “Okay.” He pressed his head to the side of mine. “How’d it go with him?”

  “Pretty bad…”

  He took a deep breath and sighed.

  “We got into a huge fight and mean things were said. Then he stormed out.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?”

  “Because I knew he would come back, which he did.”

  He relaxed slightly. “He hates me, doesn’t he?”

  “No.”

  “Don’t sugarcoat it, Trin. I can handle it.”

  “He doesn’t hate you,” I said firmly. “But I don’t think he believes your love for me is genuine. And he doesn’t trust you because you snuck around behind his back…he’s upset at you for a lot of thing. But he could never hate you, Slade. He loves you.”

  I knew he wasn’t convinced even though he didn’t argue with me. “I have to fix this…I just don’t know how.”

  “It’ll blow over eventually. Just give it time.”

  “I’m not a patient man. You know that.”

  “Yes, you are,” I said quietly. “You’ve been patient with me, risking a lot just to be with me.”

  He pulled away and looked at me with soft eyes. “Well, you’re a reward I’ll do anything to keep.”

  I leaned against him and inhaled his scent, happy to be in his arms again. His familiar warmth and touch soothed me. I missed my father but I missed Slade more. His hand touched my hair gently then he looked down at me.

  I met his gaze and saw the bags under his eyes. “You look like shit.”

  He laughed while affection came into his eyes. “I can’t sleep without you. I’m not sure why I even bothered trying.”

  “I didn’t sleep well either…”

  “I’ll be catching up on sleep tonight.” He rested his chin on mine and rocked me back and forth gently.

  “You want to go to bed now?”

  “It’s not even nine,” he said. “You must be restless. Why don’t we go out and do something?”

  “Do what?” I asked with a laugh. “I’m handicapped.”

  “So?” he demanded. “We can go out to dinner, the movies…tons of stuff.”

  “And embarrass you? No thanks.”

  He stiffed, his hands flinching. “Embarrass me?” Anger filled his voice. “Trinity, you could never embarrass me. I’m still as sprung on you as I was the first time I was inside you. Don’t ever say that again.”

  I stayed silent, letting the argument die.

  “I’ll ask again. You want to go out?”

  “Not really. I’d rather just lie in bed with you.”

  “If that’s what you want.” He lifted me from the couch and carried me to bed. He changed my clothes then removed his own before he got into bed beside me. He leaned over me, resting his head on mine. “I know we can’t have sex, but can I kiss you?”

  “And other stuff…?” I asked hopefully.

  “No, I just want to kiss you.”

  “And be frustrated all night?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “I admit I get horny when we make out, but I’m also satisfied at the same. My favorite thing to do with you is kiss you.”

  “It is?” I asked in surprise. That couldn’t be right.

  “It is,” he said firmly. “I don’t usually kiss the girls I sleep with because it’s boring and awkward…but with you…it’s my favorite. We make love with our lips, and my heart syncs with yours. I feel connected to you and everything else fades away. It’s just us.”

  Slade continued to surprise, even now. His heart and love wrapped around me, making a cocoon. When he said things like this, I knew he would never hurt me. I was the only person he ever loved, every cared about. Even though he’d been with hundreds of others, they didn’t mean anything. In that regard, I was the only one.

  He moved over me and pressed his lips to mine, giving me a close-mouthed kiss. The moment we touched, my heat swelled and I ached for him. My hands gripped him as I held on. He breathed into my mouth, and when his tongue touched mine, I melted. Even though we were clothed, our bodies were combined.

  And we made love, but with just our mouths.

  Chapter Eleven

  Slade

  Conrad avoided me at all costs. The times we did cross paths, he clenched his fists and gave me a death stare. Then he stormed off in the opposite direction, hate leaking from his pores as he went. I got the same reaction from Roland, his other half.

  I knew I needed to talk to him and clear the air, but he clearly wasn’t read to face me. And honestly, I was avoiding it. I suspected I’d get punched in the face and the gut. I wouldn’t hesitate to kick his ass in any other situation, but since he was my girlfriend’s—that was still weird to say—brother I couldn’t hit him back. I’d have to take the hits and play dead.

  Stress weighed on my heart with every passing day. I was constantly worried about Trinity, making sure she was healing properly and getting plenty of rest and nutrition. I took her to every class in her wheel chair then picked her up when they were over. I was late to my classes and left early from some of them just to accommodate her. I didn’t mind. She needed to know I would always be there, that I didn’t mind taking
care of her.

  My only friend was Cayson. Nothing had changed with him. He was by my side when I needed it, even if he was silent. He knew I was going through a dark time even if I never said it. The last thing I wanted to do was dump my stress on Trinity, who needed to be calm and relaxed. Cayson acted in her stead.

  “I don’t know what to do…” My beer sat in front of me, untouched.

  “About what? Conrad?”

  “No…”

  “The rest of the family?”

  He was only reminding me how bad the situation was. “No…”

  “Her dad?”

  I nodded. “Every time he looks at me, the hate radiates off him. I know he wants to punch me in the face. The only reason why he hasn’t is because my dad will kill him and Trinity will be outraged.”

  “He doesn’t hate you.” He rested his elbows on the table, ignoring his beer like how I ignored mine.

  “Don’t bullshit with me,” I snapped. “I can handle the truth.”

  “He’s pissed at you and probably does want to beat the shit out of you, but no, he doesn’t hate you, Slade.”

  “He should…”

  Cayson raised an eyebrow.

  “What I did to Trinity was wrong. I hate myself…”

  “I’m not following.”

  “Just because I love her now and cherish her doesn’t make my earlier actions okay. I took advantage of her and used her like all the other whores in my life. She’s my family. I shouldn’t have done it.”

  “Do you honestly regret it?” he asked incredulously. “Because with all this drama off to the side, she makes you pretty damn happy.”

  No, I don’t regret it. “It could have ended in a different way.”

  “But it didn’t.” He gave me a firm look. “That’s all that matters.”

  “What should I do?” I asked. “With her father?”

  He shrugged. “I’ve never been in this situation before.”

  Way to rub it in. “What would you do if you were?”

  He thought for a moment, touching his glass. “I’d talk to him one-on-one.”

  “How?” I asked. “We’re two hours apart.”

  “Drive to his office and speak to him.”

  “While he’s at work?” I asked incredulously.

  “Yeah, Cassandra won’t be there so it’ll just be you two. And you’re in his comfort zone, where he feels most powerful and comfortable. I think that would be the best time. Plus, if you drive all the way out there just to talk to him, it’ll show that you really care to make it right.”

  I guess that was the best approach.

  “And don’t back down. Even if he rips into you, don’t give up. Show him you’ll stand up for yourself and you can’t be chased off, that you aren’t going to let it go until you have his forgiveness. If anything, that will show how much you care about Trinity without actually saying it. Mike is a cold man. He wants to know his daughter is with someone who’s as strong as he is.”

  “That guy is a damn bull shark.”

  “You’re almost the same size.”

  “But he’s got that crazed look in his eyes. I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s murdered someone at some point in time.”

  “All the more reason to show him you aren’t going to back down.”

  “Is this a fucking nature show?” I snapped. “Is he a bear and I’m a hiker?”

  He tried not to laugh. “If it helps…if you run, he’ll chase you. If you stand your ground he might back down.”

  “Might?” I asked incredulously. “Or he might maul me to death.”

  He shrugged. “We aren’t much different from animals.”

  “Well, I wish I were a hippo. I’d kick his ass. You know the hippo is the number on killer in Africa?”

  He smirked. “Really?”

  “Yeah, those things are psycho and territorial. And did you know they are the third largest land animal.”

  Cayson looked at me like I was crazy. “Don’t lead with those useless facts when you talk to Mike. He won’t be impressed.”

  “You know what the largest land animal is?”

  “You really have to ask?”

  “Elephants.”

  “Fascinating,” he said sarcastically. “Are you majoring in history or zoology?”

  I ignored his comment.

  “How did you know that anyway?”

  I shrugged. “I read about it.”

  “Where?” he pressed.

  “Under my Snapple cap.”

  He rolled his eyes. “I should have known…”

  “Hey, they are really informative,” I argued.

  “And Trinity finds this interesting?”

  “She thinks everything I say is interesting.”

  He shook his head. “Hold onto her, man.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him and glared.

  “Anyway…are you going to talk to him?”

  “I need to watch Trinity,” I said with a sigh. “She’s more important.”

  “I’ll take care of her while you’re gone.”

  “Really?” I asked in surprise.

  He seemed offended. “She’s my family, Slade. Of course I don’t mind.”

  I guess was more territorial of her than I realized.

  “I’ll take care of her,” he assured me. “I’m pre-med, remember?”

  I forgot. “Okay. I’ll only be gone for a few hours…”

  “Good luck.”

  “If I die, you can have all my possessions.”

  “Wouldn’t you give it to Trinity?” he asked.

  “She wouldn’t want it. It’s a bunch of garbage.”

  “Wow…thanks for being so generous,” he said sarcastically.

  I downed my entire beer when I thought about what I had to do. “Ugh, just shoot me.”

  Cayson made a gun with his hand then pretended to shoot me. “Bang, bang.”

  ***

  I told Trinity I needed to do something with my dad for the shop. I didn’t want her to know I was seeing her father because I didn’t want to get her hopes up. He wouldn’t forgive me easily. I was pretty certain he would throw me out of his office and that would be the end of the story. And that would hurt Trinity. It was better if she didn’t know. Luckily, Cayson watched her while I was gone. I knew he would do a good job. I didn’t trust her care to anyone else but him.

  When I arrived at the building, I walked into the lobby, immediately feeling uneasy. His empire was covered in granite counters and spotless tile floors. Every inch of it was intimidating.

  After I checked in with security, I went to the top floor and stepped out of the elevator. Mike and Sean had offices in the rear, taking up half of the floor alone. I walked passed the windows and people walking around. Today, I dressed in slacks and a buttoned shirt, covering my sleeves and trying to look professional. Coming in looking like a thug wouldn’t help my situation.

  When I reached his secretary’s desk, I heard a familiar voice.

  “Slade?” Uncle Sean walked to me, holding a folder in his hand. The other one was in his pocket. A dark blue tie hung down his chest. Confusion spread into his eyes at the sight of me. “Everything okay?”

  “Hey, Uncle Sean.” I turned to him but didn’t hug him like I normally would. “I’m here to see Mike.”

  He nodded his head in understanding. “Good luck with that.” There was a twinge of humor in his voice.

  “Thanks,” I said sarcastically.

  He gripped my shoulder. “You’ll be okay, kid.”

  “Easy for you to say…”

  He laughed lightly. “I got to run. I’ll see you around.”

  “Bye.”

  He walked into the elevator and disappeared.

  I turned to his secretary, a young guy who looked fresh out of college. “I’m here to see Mike.”

  He looked like he’d been slapped. “You mean Mr. Preston?”

  I wasn’t used to calling him that. “Yeah, sorry.”

  “Do you have an
appointment?” The look in his eye told me he already knew the answer to that, and I could tell he hated me the moment I referred to his boss by his first name.

  “No but—”

  “Mr. Preston is a very busy man and doesn’t have time for walk-ins. Perhaps you’re looking for a salon.”

  I wanted to snap and put this asshole in his place, but I held my tongue—for Trinity. “Can you just tell him I’m here? He knows who I am.”

  “He knows who my mom is but he doesn’t want to see her.”

  Don’t snap. Don’t snap. Don’t snap.

  “If you don’t leave now, I will call security,” he threatened. “So I just suggest you scram.”

  “Vincent.” Mike’s deep voice broke our conversation. He stood in the doorway of his office.

  The secretary stood up and looked at him. “Hello, sir. I’ll take care of this. Don’t worry about it.”

  Mike shifted his gaze to me, his eyes dark. He noted my attire and the way my hair was actually styled and not messy. He didn’t look happy to see me, but he didn’t look like he wanted to kill me either. “Come in.” He walked back inside his office, not waiting for me.

  I gave Vincent a glare that clearly said, “Take that, jackass.”

  I walked inside the office then closed it behind me. After the door clicked, there wasn’t a sound. Only silence echoed in the room. Floor-to-Ceiling windows made up the back wall. Two couches were in the corner along with a stack of fashion magazines, probably belonging to his wife, Cassandra. The shelves on the walls contained pictures of his wife and kids. Trinity’s life was showed in the portraits, her childhood of dance recitals and softball games until her college graduation and last Christmas. Hard-wood floors comprised the ground and all his furniture was made of dark mahogany. His desk was large and placed near the window.

  Mike stood in front of his desk, both hands in the pockets of his suit. His shoulders were broad and his chest was expansive. His suit was intimidating to anyone, but not me. “What do you want?” He crossed his arms over his chest, looking at me like I was a bug he wanted to squash. “Because I’m a busy man that has a million other things to do than deal with your nuisance.”

  This wasn’t going to be fun. “I hoped I could have a minute of your time,” I said politely.