Can't Forget: If she can't forget her past, she won't have a future. (Solum Series Book 2)

by Colleen S. Myers

  Hands grasped my face. Hana towered over me. Her lips moved, but I couldn’t hear anything. Huh. I scanned around. Nope, only an occasional crackle in the air, no voices, no cries, no pain. Nothing. My vision was still red. I clumsily lifted my hands and brushed then across Hana’s face leaving streaks of crimson.

  Blood. Ha. I remembered this. A drop glistened in the cracked black skin of my palm. Tissue charred, bone exposed. That was going to hurt like a bitch soon.

  Hana flung my arm around her shoulder and half dragged me back towards town.

  No. Marin.

  I cried there in the field surrounded by death and silence.

  Fost and E’mani ran past. I didn’t care.

  Hana slapped me again, but I only saw the fire then darkness.

  Thirty Four

  Finn cradled me in his arms. Hana fought ahead of us between Jace and Giggy. They made a concentrated push back toward town, clearing the way. My head flopped backward, and I saw everything in flashes. Hana screaming slashing at the E’mani before her, Jace surrounded by enemies, Giggy’s mace out and flying. We were going in the wrong direction.

  I lifted my head up with effort squeezing Finn’s shoulder.

  He leaned his face against mine.

  I saw his lips move, felt his breath on my cheek, but heard nothing. “The airport, we are lost if we go this way.”

  Finn eyed me, then called out, mouth open, the world silent.

  Hana turned back and followed us as we reversed direction. My head bobbed, wings in the sky, such beautiful colors. Please don’t have let me hurt them with the lightning.

  More E’mani kept coming from the trees all around us as we ran. At first only a few flanked us on the path. We outpaced them easily, then tens, and twenty, a foot race to shelter.

  Giggy stumbled in the corner of my eyes. He fell and rolled onto hands and knees, his shirt untucked, mace drawn.

  No. God, no.

  I screamed.

  Finn tucked me close to his body and whirled. The E’mani surrounded us, weapons out. Hana and Jace slowed and dropped their knives.

  Finn let them grab me out of his arms then made his move. He killed those holding me with his knife before their first blink. I collapsed to the dirt in a heap, chest heaving.

  Hana stood with her hands out, a bubble formed around the group holding back the shots from the enemy’s weapons. Jace wrestled with three E’mani, the last slashing his side. Jace stumbled and fell beneath their forms. Hana screamed and threw herself toward him in the mud.

  No.

  Finn cursed and roared, the noise finally filtering back.

  None of this could be happening.

  Finn’s eyes stared into mine as he began to change. The change was subtle at first. Bones were moving underneath his skin, which darkened until fur spread in a wave down his torso and across his face. His eyes changed from the white with that little rim of blue, into a spoked orange. Fangs grew, and his chin elongated.

  He fell forward onto his knees, legs twisting, arms bending, breaking. And still his eyes remained locked with mine until he stood on two legs in coreck form. His tongue streaked out and licked the tears off my cheek.

  His head fell back, and he bellowed his challenge, a coreck in full battle form. The E’mani didn’t know what the fuck to do. His speed and fluidity gave him an edge. The pack that answered his call helped him even more.

  A coreck flew through the air like an acrobat to land on the shoulder of an incoming E’mani. The crunch when the animal bit down on his neck echoed in my mind. I lost track of Finn in the chaos and crawled toward Hana, who cradled Jace to her chest. He wasn’t moving.

  No.

  I searched for Giggy, but his massive form was not visible in the fight. All I saw was flashes of fur and white skin

  Hana reached out her hand to me.

  An explosion rocked the ground throwing me onto my back. My head hit a rock in the dirt, the world went dark.

  When I woke, both suns were blazing, no more wings in the sky. Boots walked toward my face. I twisted and blinked my eyes. Xade.

  He smiled and bent down, pale hair streaming around his bloodless face. “Elizabeth.”

  My eyes watered. No. Never again. My hand shook when I pushed myself back. I tried to get to my feet, but my legs were too weak, and my knee was so swollen, it was useless. No standing anytime soon.

  Xade followed, laughing that same soulless fucking laugh, which was eerily echoed by his clones around him. “Elizabeth. Why run? You know it is futile. We are ever so happy to see you alive after that little display of power. This will be fun.”

  A scalpel gleamed in his hands.

  Never again.

  I grabbed my knife. They hadn’t even bothered to disarm me and I pressed it to my side, waiting for my opportunity to strike. Strange teeth clamped on my forearm. I stared up into a Coreck’s spoked orange eyes.

  Finn.

  “Please. I can’t.” I whispered to him.

  Finn’s jaws remained locked. The imbued blade fell from my numbed hand. He blinked at me, eyelashes falling.

  Xade sauntered up and shot him with a dart. He lifted Finn’s head, examining his furry face. “Interesting. Bring him too.” He then turned to me with a wide smile. “Elizabeth.”

  A sting at my shoulder.

  ~ * ~

  I floated in the air. There were big fluffy clouds above me and a clear blue sky. It was beautiful. And there was no pain anymore, no joy, nothing. The wind blew my hair into my face, tickling my jaw. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sunlight and the beauty of the day. If this was heaven, I wanted to stay here forever.

  Then I noticed my breath frosting in front of me. Cold. The chill spread down my limbs. Not heaven then, and it wasn’t joy I felt vibrating in my chest, it was the E’mani engines. I blinked my eyes. Xade got me back. A flicker out of the corner of my eye caught my attention. Finn lay on the ground next to me still in animal form. Xade got both of us.

  Why hadn’t Finn changed back? Didn’t Yann say that the difficulty would be returning? Was he stuck? God. I scanned the area. Several E’mani stood in a loose circle around us, watching, motionless, and as creepy as ever.

  I turned back and reached out my hand, fingers black, barely touching his soft fur. Finn’s eyes blinked open, orange then white, the shifting process in reverse. There were gasps from the E’mani as he changed and crawled to my side. His legs were bleeding. A smear of red trailed his broken form.

  Oh God. “Finn.”

  “Elizabeth.” His forehead braced mine. “Are you all right?”

  I shook my head. “I am sorry, so sorry.” A tear streaked down my face. This couldn’t be happening. This was all my fault.

  “Shush now,” he whispered. “We will be okay. You survived this once and got away. We can survive this again.”

  “No, he will never let me go.” My eyes closed. “I can’t do this again.”

  “Beta, I told you I would protect you. I meant it. I love you, you know that, right? Nothing will change that.” Finn pulled himself above me, pain rippling across his face.

  I sobbed when he brushed his lips over my own, leaving the lingering hint of mint and sunshine. “I know.”

  I tunneled my hands deep into his hair and took the kiss deeper. My mouth opened on his, his tongue stroked along mine, wild. The taste. I adjusted and put my hand on the deck, into a pool of his blood, which was turning thick and dark. He didn’t have much time. “Your legs.”

  “I will be fine.” Finn ignored me and kissed my ear, mumbling. “When I say go, you go.”

  “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  The sound of the door opening kept me from asking any more questions. Xade exited the ship onto the deck a second later. He looked ever so pleased to see us.

  “Welcome back, Elizabeth, and who have you brought us?” His satisfaction grated. He crouched next to Finn. Xade’s hand drifted through Finn’s dark hair.

  Xade waved to one
of the E’mani, who crowded nearby. They sprayed something on Finn’s legs.

  Finn growled and pushed away from Xade, but positioned his body between us. “Stay away.”

  Xade smiled without amusement. “What is your name?”

  “Leave him alone, Xade. It’s me you want.” I grabbed Finn’s shoulder and leaned into his side.

  “Oh now, Elizabeth, that is where you are wrong. Did you think you got away the last time you were with us? Oh no, such a silly little girl. We let you go. We had difficulty locating the Fost, and we needed more subjects. The power was stirring, so annoying.” He glanced at his clones and they all smiled identical smiles then swarmed us. “The plan worked out quite well, I must say.”

  They dragged Finn backward as I scrambled up, staggering sideways.

  Xade gripped my neck. “Oh no, Elizabeth.”

  I remembered this as well, this exactly, Xade holding me, threatening me, throwing me, right here on a ship like this. I ducked my head and gazed around. We were near the edge. I turned and smiled, my hands grabbing his. I pulled his pinky back till it cracked and he cried out, letting me go.

  Finn wrenched himself from their arms and grabbed him, holding him. “Go now,” he screamed as he held Xade, trying to stay upright in spite of his wounds. The clones rushed towards me as I jumped. Better death than imprisonment.

  My mom smiled and waved. She had a handkerchief in her hands, blotting her eyes. That was my mom, ever a lady.

  I stepped onto the podium, my steps sure. The principal reached out and gripped my palm. I can’t believe I made it through school. Especially after all the problems I caused after Dad left. Graduating with honors no less, my chest swelled.

  Sarah gave me a thumbs up when I glanced back, her red hair fluttering beneath her cap. My heart twisted. Did my dad come? I knew my mother invited him. But him and Elise, they just had another little one. A stepsister this time, named Melody. My eyes scanned the crowd, and my shoulders dropped.

  On the ride home, my mother couldn’t stop her tears. “Beta, you are so beautiful. I wish your grandparents could have seen you.”

  “Grandpa would have hollered louder than everyone else.”

  “Yes.” She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “I am sorry we can’t have a party.”

  I shrugged. Whatever. “It doesn’t matter. I’m going to Sarah’s anyway. Um, did you see Dad?”

  Her hand squeezed mine again, hard. “No, and that is okay.”

  What? “How is that okay? He can’t be bothered to come to his oldest daughter’s high school graduation? How’s that for never-give-up Dad? He is such an asshole. I don’t know how you could stand him all those years.”

  “Beta.” My mom’s voice rang with command. “He is still your father and you will stop right now.”

  Surprise held me stunned. “But…”

  “But what?” Her hands gripped the steering wheel hard.

  “He left you.”

  “And his actions do not need to color yours or mine. He made his choices. I made my mine. You can be bitter, or you can move on like I did. But you need to forgive him, baby doll. Otherwise, you’re going to be miserable, and you will have missed out on what is important.”

  “Oh yeah, what is that?”

  “Family.”

  “You’re my family.”

  “You have brothers and sisters now too. It is what you always wanted. Plus, your dad has been trying.”

  “Yes, that is so obvious right now.”

  “He sent you a present.”

  I crossed my arms and stared out the window. “He can’t buy me.”

  “Please, Beta.”

  “Why, Mom, give me one good reason he should get off for what he’s done.”

  “Because he loves you, and if you continue to hate him, you’ll never be happy. You’ll never let yourself love someone, and that is unacceptable to me. In your heart, you need to let go. Forgive him, Beta.”

  The ground rose up quickly. I remembered this fall.

  My dad’s voice. “Beta, I am sorry about your graduation. The little one was sick. We had to take her to the hospital.”

  My mom’s voice echoed in my mind. “Forgive him. Beta.”

  “Okay, Dad. I hope she feels better now.”

  A pause. “She does, thank you. Um, maybe you can come by this weekend and visit?”

  “Maybe.”

  Light.

  Finn. Please forgive me. I wasn’t strong enough to stay.

  The wind blew past my ears.

  Marin. I will be there soon, my love.

  Thirty Five

  My nightmares came to life when I woke in the tube. My breath steamed in the air, light blinding me.

  No. This can’t be happening. Please say I got away.

  I screamed and pounded at the glass, which instantly opened. I stretched and threw my body over the side and landed on the floor in a heap. Everything throbbed including my hair.

  I stared down at my hands. Fresh pink tissue shone through the cracked black skin. I was in the laboratory. How was that possible? There was a nightstand in the corner with a bowl of water and a towel. I staggered toward it with a purpose, mouth dry and sore.

  I stuck my head into the clear liquid, the cold shocked me a bit more awake. I rubbed my face and tossed my hair back, dunking again and again. The water turned black with debris. I watched it swirl in the bowl. Ripples marred the surface as my tears dripped down.

  My eyes were bloodshot obscuring the white. I had small spider veins all over what little skin I had left on my face that wasn’t charred. Pretty no more. My hair hung limp and mangled next to my beaten face. Death-warmed-over still won out over me right now.

  My breath whooshed out. Hands spanned my waist. My right elbow flew up and back aiming for the head as I twisted and brought my left up for a strike.

  Rael caught my arm an inch from his face. He raised his eyebrow. “It is me.” The words were faint.

  I blinked, arms falling to my sides. “How? Where?” I jabbed him in the chest. Yep, he was real.

  He grunted, rubbing the area absently. He appeared almost as bad as me. His nose had been broken and not by me; my elbow never connected. His eyes were swollen. Blood stained his shirt. His hands resumed their position on my waist as I gazed at him.

  “Hey.” I held onto the nightstand.

  He smiled. “Hey, yourself.” I was shaking, how weird.

  He pulled me closer and hugged me tight. My breathed stuttered out and I squeezed him back, tears burning my eyes.

  “What happened to everyone? Did anybody make it out?” A rock the size of Mount Rushmore filled my chest. Marin, my friends. Finn. Hana. Where were they? If the lab was standing, did that mean Marin survived?

  “I don’t know. I found you after your fall, and both of us were too wounded to travel, so I brought you here. I haven’t been back yet to get a body count.” He tucked my head into his body as I shuddered.

  I sobbed and held tight. “How long have we been here?”

  “Three days.” I leaned back, stunned.

  “Three? How hurt was I?” I asked.

  “You stopped breathing twice. Only the tube saved you.”

  I blanked then rubbed my arms. Stomach twisting, I realized my mating band was gone. Marin was gone. My composure shattered and while I was sobbing earlier, this was full on blubbering, and it wasn’t pretty. Rael held me quietly throughout, rubbing his hand down my hair.

  Cried out after what had to be hours, I lay on the ground in the corner. A twitch moved me now and I replayed our time together over and over. We never talked. He never forgave me before he died and now he never would. I remembered his taste—cherries and darkness, the look in his eyes when he saw me, the smile that spread across his face when I kissed him. How did I get so lucky? Why didn’t I hold him closer?

  I rolled over and dreamed right there, too tired to get up.

  ~ * ~

  The world was hazy, golden.

  “Hello, Finn,
how very nice to meet you. Who is your dam?” Xade asked.

  Finn glared at him, refusing to talk. His legs were a mess; two holes in the right, and one on the left. Of the two on the right, one was but a scrape and the other went through the belly of the muscle cleanly. The left hit bone and severed an artery. They had a bandage on it with some metal underneath. He craned his head and peered down. Finn closed his eyes “Beta...be safe. I love you…” He opened his eyes and stared right at me.

  Our gazes met. I felt my heart skip a beat. “Finn.”

  He could see me. For a moment, I swear he knew I was watching, his white eyes with their rim of blue opening wide, a faint mocking smile wreathing his face. I saw where he was, another lab identical to this one. Rael might know, or maybe Dela could try to find it in the database?

  Rael had put me in the tube again. As soon as I touched the surface, it opened, and I stumbled out. My legs were stronger today, thank god. No more tubes. The rest would have to heal on its own. I limped out to the main room.

  “Rael, I think we should head back to town. They have to be wondering how we are. I need to know how everyone is. I can make the—”

  Hana, Zanth, and Marin stood inside the doorway. Hana covered her mouth with her hands, Zanth shifted, and Marin stared.

  I went blank. “Hi.”

  Marin rushed forward and grabbed me. His mating bands were gone as well. He looked rough. His hair was oily, unkempt, his eyes swollen and bruised. He also smelled awful. And it didn’t matter at all. I had never been so happy to see anyone in my life. My arms and legs closed around him as he pressed me into the nearest wall, his forehead to mine, our lips fused.

  Marin. His words tumbled out. “I do not ever want to go through what I did the past three days. I do not want to lose you. If I lose you, I lose myself. I did not want to keep on living. When the bands came off, I went crazy, killing everything, took every risk I could because I wanted to die. I would not contemplate a world without you in it, so I tried to join you. Zanth kept me safe, but just barely. I hated him at the time but ...” He traced his fingers down my face, light as a feather, shaking. “I am so glad you are alive.”