Once Upon Another Time

by Jettie Woodruff

  Climbingdown was when I remembered the yellow butterflies. One second we were arguing about which way to go, and the next we were in another world.

  “It’s this way, Jessie. It is. I remember that crooked branch.”

  “It ain’t either cause we came up, and that’s going down. It’s right through—hey, where you going? It’s over here.”

  “It is not, and I ain’t listen’ to you. We have to get to the opening over there. Then you’ll see.”

  My little feet stomped right behind him, and my face scrunched up while I yelled at him from a few feet behind.“Okay fine, dummy, but you’re going to see I’m right, and you’re wrong. Just you wait and see, Royal Destin Pierce. You’ll see.”

  Royal argued right back, standing his ground until we reached the clearing and the magic. I was disagreeing with great conviction, trying to get the last word when he stopped dead in his tracks, and I ran right into his back.

  “What’d you do that for?”

  “Jessie. Look!” Royal exclaimed in a faraway, magical tone.

  Right there in a field of wild flowers of every color were the most butterflies I’d seen in my entire life. Thousands, maybe even millions. Tiny, yellow butterflies fluttered around everywhere, all over us, and we let them. It was like I was seeing us from above, and I noticed the berry stain Royal had on his shirt, his eyes sparkling as we laughed. Those perfect yellow butterflies covered our bodies. Our arms, our noses, and our fingers. They were everywhere, and the most amazing thing I’d ever seen in my life.

  We found it again a few weeks later, but the butterflies had moved on. We did find a hornet’s nest that day though. I got half way to the river before the first one stung me, but then I got three more before my body splashed into the river, clothes and all. Royal wasn’t so lucky. His lipsswelled up for a week, and he had to go get a shot in the butt because he was stung way more than me. I counted eleven stings on him, but there were two more he wouldn’t let me see.

  “How whimsical,” I said aloud, wondering how I hadn’tseen how simply wonderful that time in my life was.

  “Eh, get rid of the butterflies,” Jason said from over my shoulder.

  Normally, I would have smelled him before he spoke. That was the que to get off Face-book and work. This time something else overpowered his strong scent. Something like Royal. “Really? I like them.”

  “And I’m the boss.”

  I deleted the little yellow butterflies,then put them right back. Ooops.

  That evening I made a special dinner for Eric, but in all honesty, it wasn’t really for him. It was more for me - a way to ease the guilt I felt for lying to him. He would be madder that I lied than knowing I went alone, but I still wasn’t telling him that part. I’d been married to this man for twenty-sixyears now, and I knew what the outcome of that would be. I wasn’t opening that door. Sure, he’d still let me go, but he would be right there beside me.He wouldn’t dress up, and he would complain the whole time. Deciding I wasn’t taking the chance, I dropped a spoon into the pot of mashed potatoes on the stove. Besides, there was a little bit of a chance Royal would be there. At that moment,I wondered if seeing him was the driving reason I wanted to go. Did I think I would see him? So, what if I did? Closure? Is that the why I felt so pulled into all of this? To say I’m sorry? Or was it more magical like Roxy predicted? Like being free again, the way I was back then, with Royal. We really didn’t have a care in the world.

  “Jesus, I’m in love with a seven-yearold.”

  “You are?”

  I jumped and screamed, splattering mashed potatoes all over the place, including my shirt. “Ahhh! Jesus, Eric. Why does everyone keep doing that?”

  “Didn’t you hear the garage door open? What are you talking about a seven-yearold?”

  “You don’t want to know. Some little YouTube kid Kate has me hooked on.”

  “You’re right. I don’t want to know. I still haven’t recovered from the two little fat kids. This looks amazing. I’m starving.”

  Eric and I ate our supper like we always did. In front of the television, watching fifty different things at once. We rarely ever ate at the table, not since the kids moved out anyway. I never even set the table anymore. We dipped our plates from the pans right from the stove and carried them to our matching recliners. Man, what I wouldn’t do to be able to sit down at Grandma Grace’s table and eat again.Of course, that’s where my mind had gone. Back there...

  Her table was always set, and she made the most amazing food,love poured into every single ounce of it. God, I missed her. I really wanted to tell Eric about the horse ghosts we never saw and the dangerous cliff we dangled our legs from, the butterflies, and how we jumped in the cold river to get away from the bees, but I didn’t. He wouldn’t get it, and I didn’t want him to say anything that would take one bit of how special it was away. Instead we talked about him, the three-hundred-thousanddollars in annuities he sold, and his fishing trip. Eric had always liked talking about himself more than listening to me. Not that I had much to talk about. I’d been in the same office with most of the same people for years. He,at least,got to go out and talk to people.

  While Eric took an hour-long business call, I searched for the perfect dress, a replica of prom, 1988. Narrowing it down to three, I groaned at the prices. With a deep breath, my body slumped in defeat. There was no way I could spend three-hundreddollars on a gown to use as a costume. This wasn’t 1988, and it wasn’t my prom. That ship sailed a long, long time ago, and as much as I wanted a do over, it wasn’t possible, and this was all pointless. Not to mention, insane. I shook my head from side to side and slapped my laptop closed. This whole thing was stupid, and I needed to let it go.

  Standing in the shower, I tried to let my absurd fixation drain with the water, but I couldn’t. No matter how hard I tried to redirect my attention, it always went back there. But why? Why now? It had been thirty years since I had even seen Royal, and I never thought about him. Ever. I’d been invited to two other reunions I had laughed away. Why this one? Did I owe him an apology?

  “Of course, you owe him an apology, you idiot.” I said aloud, letting water run down my face.

  “What?”

  Looking through the steam, I wiped the glass, seeing Eric on the toilet. There was a bathroom by the kitchen, one by the pool, and he had to use the one where I was trying to shower in peace. “Nothing. You couldn’t have used another bathroom?”

  “I could have, but my Sports Illustrated is in this one. Who do you owe an apology?”

  Gah! I had to stop talking to myself. I really did snap at the new mail carrier at work, but I wasn’t apologizing for him being too lazy to do his job. Justifying it in my mind, I told half the truth. “The new mail carrier at work.”

  “You should read this. Ten things every woman should know about football.”

  I groaned a quiet hum under my breath and rinsed my body, annoyed with him more than usual. It was all this crazy talk about signs and these stupid dreams of Royal. I wasn’t sleeping, I couldn’t stay focused, and a little boy haunted me to my core. Maybe I needed to talk to someone. A professional, maybe. There was obviously something going on.

  Indubitably, I didn’t give up. I went to bed and opened my phone and continueddress searching. Seeing the notification for the new email, I opened it first. It was letter asking everyone to please RSVP with a list of the ones who already had. I remembered a couple of the names but none I had wanted to see. No one I’d hung out with had responded, except David. He and Wendy were homecoming king and queen and he was in our clique. Wendy hadn’t responded, Jan hadn’t, Royal hadn’t, and Leigh couldn’t.

  Glancing over the itinerary again, I read the details. The event would be held at The Hotel Noir right downtown, Saturday night. It was a fancy place the rich people used for bragging rights. I knew this because Wendy’s dad was the manager. She had a few birthday parties there over the years. I assumed she was the one orchestrating the event, but she hadn’t confirmed
her attendance yet either.

  Even when I tried to shut my mind down and go to sleep, it was impossible. Any question I could think of, I asked. What the hell was I doing? Why was I investing so much into this? Why couldn’t I just go buy a cheap costume like everyone else probably would? What did I expect to accomplish by going there? Did I really have someone from my past, returning to my future?Was there really magic in the wand? Was it really directing me to my twin flame? Was Royal my twin? What did that even mean? What if he wasn’t my twin flame? Who else would it be? Would I even see Royal? What would I say to him if I did? Would he even talk to me?Why would he? While Eric laughed at something stupid on television, I dozed off, then fell into a deep sleep. Somewhere, once upon another time.

  It was a weekend during second grade and way too early to go swimming.Though the day was warm for April, it was far from hot, and the water was ice cold. The mountain tops were still covered in white dust,but we didn’t care. Well,I didn’t. My momwas there that weekend. She’d come home because she missed me so much, and we spent the whole day together. I got so much stuff that day it took up the whole trunk and half the backseat. Who knows where she got all that money. Still, it was a good day, and I had missed her too.

  She never helped my gram with an electric bill, school clothes, or braces, but she was really good at showing up and lavishing me with presents two or three times a year. Of course, I took full advantage of it. That day, she happened to be talking about how much I would have loved my dad, and she made the mistake of telling me how they’d jumped off the bridge, crossing the river at Berry Point Corners.My dad lost his grandpa’s pocket watch clear back from the civil war. Certainly, I was going to do it too.

  Side by side, Royal and I walked down the dusty dirt road. Royal in the same green shorts he seemed to always wear, and me in a matching short set with Jokey Smurf right on the front. My favorite Smurf. I could always see detail I never saw the first time around, but when I had these dreams of that time so long ago in my life, I could see it all. I could feel it, taste it, smell it, and sense it. Like now. We both dragged sticks, and I could hear the rustling sound it made in the dirt. I could even feel every little stone beneath my bare feet. I could feel the air on my skin, hear the water rippling over the rocks to the right of us, and I could see the bright blue sky.

  “My mom said my dad lost his watch. I’m gonna find it.”

  “I bet it’s not even there anymore,” Royal replied.

  “Where else would it be, dummy?”

  “Here comes a car. We’re going to get caught.”

  “Stop being a big baby. It’s just Beth Shultz. She went to school with my mom, but my mom don’t like her anyway.”

  The blue Ford Pinto pulled right up beside us, and Beth rolled down her window. “Your mama know you’re this far out by yourself?”

  “I ain’t by myself. I’m with Royal.”

  “Royal looks a little young to be a chaperone, honey.”

  “Well, he’s not. He’s older than me cause February comes before June. I’m seven and three-quarters.”

  “And you have no supervision. Where’s your mom?”

  “She’s working at a country music festival all the way in Colorado.”

  “Of course, she is. Meanwhile, your poor grandma gets stuck with you all the time. You should tell your mom to stop chasing other women’s men and take care of her kid.”

  My face scrunched while I let her words sink in. Even if I didn’t understand what they meant, they made me mad, and I understood why my mom didn’t like her. She was a big dumb stupid head. “My grams doesn’t get stuck with me. She likes me.”

  “Go home before you get hurt or lost, kid.”

  The car pulled away, and I angrily stared after it, watching the dirt settle while it disappeared around the corner.

  “Come on, Jessie. Don’t listen to her.”

  “What’s she mean about that? My mom don’t chase boys. Why would she do that?”

  “Who cares?Let’s go find your dad’s watch.”

  None of it was a lie, but as a little girl, I didn’t think I was going through anything. I didn’t learn that until years later when I paid a therapist a lot of money to tell me I had. At seven, I thought everything was the way it should be. Whatever that meant.

  That was the first time I had ever hid my swimsuit under my clothes, so my grams wouldn’t suspect we were going togo swimming. Up until that year, I never thought anything of taking my shirt off and jumping in wearingonly my shorts, like Royal. I guess my grams always telling me I wasn’t supposed to take off my shirt in front of boys had finally sunk in.

  I could see Royal’s ribs as he slid out of his own shirt,revealing a bruise down the right side of his back.

  “What happened, Royal?” I questioned, my fingers touching the skin over his skinny little body and the bruise I never knew he had.

  Royal instantly jerked from the pain and told me how he had clumsily fallen down the steps. “It’s nothin’. I slipped going down the steps.”

  “Does it hurt?”

  “Only if you touch it. I’ll go first to make sure it’s deep enough.”

  I looked over the edge, forgetting all about the bruise going down my accident-prone friend’s back. “Right here. That’s the darkest part. It’s the deepest.”

  Royal hopped up on the ledge and jumped, and I followed right behind him. The water was ice, ice cold. Enough to freeze your blood. We never found the watch, but we did find a knife. Royal and I decided it was a murder weapon, and we hid it in the barn for safe keeping. We were going to be heroes and be on the front page of the newspaper. Two kids from Pine Cove Holler find missing piece and solve murder case. Of course, that never happened either. Royal and I almost froze our asses off jogging back home though.

  I woke slowly just after four in the morning, seeing one thing:a bruise in the shape of a boot. Feeling the pain in my chest, a tear slid from my eye, and I got up. What the hell was this all about, I wondered,quietly making my way to the kitchen for a drink. A sign? Was all of this something bigger than what I was willing to accept? Was I really losing my mind? A brain tumor maybe? I questioned, silently stepping out the french doors to the patio, facing the lake with a glass of water in hand.

  The moon illuminated shone abeam of lighton top of the water, which flowed right to me. Looking up, I saw a gray sky with a few stars. Nothing like the millions I had seen back home in the mountains. With a deep breath of cool air, I dropped my head between my legs and ran my fingers through my shoulder length hair. This had to stop. All of this had to stop, I thought while slumping in my chair, but it wouldn’t. It wouldn’t because I wouldn’t let it. Because I didn’t want it to. No matter how much I wished I could make it all stop, even stronger was my desire to see where the signs took me. Crazy or not, I was here, and until I went on this stupid, idiotic trip I didn’t even know why I was going on, I wouldn’t rest.

  I’d talked myself out of calling Roxy for the low down on the wand at least a hundred times before noon the next day. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t let it go. The stupid reunion was never far from my mind, the dress I couldn’t find, let alone afford,always popping in and out of my mind, and Royal was always right there. I saw signs and wrote them down, pairs of everything everywhere I went, and I questioned everything.

  Even though I couldn’t explain why all this was happening, I was smart enough to know there was no such thing as a wand holding magic, time portals, or twin flames. Still, I moved forward in my quest to the unknown. In the rare event I decided to take the wand, I chose to walk instead of call.

  I was on my way when the next sign revealed itself.At least, that’s what I told myself it was. It had to be a sign. There was no other explanation for it. Right there in the window of the thrift store on the corner in full exhibition hungagorgeous,midnight-blue, satin dress. A display of my past. It was so surreal, I could hardly believe it to be true. I’d even looked over my shoulder once for whomever was re
sponsible for the prank.

  Not only did I buy the dress for elevendollars, I bought a pair of shiny silver heels and an old sequined handbag to match. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been so excited in all my life, and I found myself wanting to call someone who would be just as excited. Only there was no one like that. Except one person.As crazy as Roxy was, she seemed to be the only one who got me. For reasons I couldn’t explain, she seemed to understand me more than I understood myself right now. And so, it was her I expressed myself to.

  “Well, hello. Come in. I’ve been expecting you.”

  I entered her little store with a goofy smile and a whimsical feeling that kept me on somewhat of a high.“Wait until you hear this. It’s so crazy, Roxy,” I rambled, talking a mile a minute. “The first day I came here, I got an email inviting me to my thirtieth high school reunion. I’ve never even wanted to go back there, but this one has been driving me crazy, and I can’t wait to go see my old friends. Anyway, back then we all dressed up as a prank for our senior prom. I was a good witch. See this dress. I swear it’s the same dress. Well, I mean. There’s no way it could be after all these years, but it’s a twin. There’s even a long train. Just like I wore in high school.”

  “Imagine that,” she said with a smile and a nonchalant nod.

  “What? Why do you say it like that?”

  “There are synchronicities all around, child. The magic will be in whatever event needs to be created for the reunion.”

  “You think the wand created the event especially for me to meet Royal again? That’s dumb. It really has been thirty years since I graduated. The wand didn’t do that.”