I followed her into a small, darkened room, where an ultrasound technician was waiting. She handed a gown to Violet, led her to an adjoining bathroom and explained to her that she’d need to undress from the waist down after emptying her bladder.
I needed to text Keane back, but a sign on the door said NO CELL PHONES PLEASE so I kept my phone safely tucked away. When Violet exited the bathroom—the gown wrapped around her waist like an unflattering skirt—she did a little twirl.
She looked so happy for a moment, so carefree. She reminded me immediately of the days in elementary school, when we’d walk to the daycare across the street. The moment the snow melted every spring, Violet would be in a skirt and twirling the entire walk to daycare.
“Is this your sister?” the technician asked as she prepped a white wand with a condom-looking thing and lube.
“Yep.” Violet hopped up on the bed.
“That sheet is for you, to cover up if you’d like.”
Violet spread the sheet over her lower half, and I scooted closer to the bed.
“You’ll need to bend your legs,” the sonographer instructed as she held the wand in front of her. “This is going to be awkward, so I’ll have you insert this inside of your vagina and then I’ll guide it. Okay?”
Violet nodded and after an awkward second, she inserted the wand inside her, and the sonographer turned the monitor toward us. After only a moment’s wait and some finagling by the sonographer, a grainy image appeared. She manipulated the wand until she made a little sound as she stared at the screen. At the center was a black circle and at the center of that was a tiny little moving baby. Or, rather, something that closely resembled a baby. A loud whooshing sound came through on the monitor.
“You hear that?” the tech asked, turning to us with a smile. “That’s your baby’s heartbeat.”
I hadn’t realized until that moment that I was holding Violet’s hand, which squeezed mine hard. “It’s so fast,” Violet said in awe.
“Yep. It’ll be fast the remainder of your pregnancy.”
The whoosh-whoosh-whoosh somehow felt more real than the image of the little baby that moved on the screen; as if the heartbeat was somehow more affirming than seeing it move.
Violet laughed, her hand pumping mine, but her eyes focused solely on the screen. It should be her baby’s father here with her, holding her hand. It should be a soon-to-be father’s eyes tearing up at the little bouncing ball on the screen. But it wasn’t a dad, it was just me. And I’d need to be enough for Violet, and for the baby she was carrying.
It hurt my heart that my sister was going to go through a pregnancy without a partner; in a perfect world, raising a baby alone wouldn’t have been her choice. Our parents had made a choice to abandon us. Violet might not have planned this pregnancy, but there was no doubt in my mind that she’d chosen this baby, and the family she’d become when he or she was born.
My free hand splayed on my lap and I tapped my pinky on my leg, making a silent promise to my niece or nephew to always be there, to give them the family they needed. To be there for my sister, to never leave her alone.
“And here is their head.” With her cursor, she slid over the head of the little baby on the screen. “And you can see the little arms and feet.”
Violet cocked her head to the side. “It doesn’t look like a baby, well, I mean it kind of does.”
“You’re about ten weeks, so the baby is still developing. Your next ultrasound will be when you’re around twenty weeks, and you’ll see a much more developed baby.”
“Is that when she finds out what she’s having?” I asked.
“She can find out sooner, if she’d like. They can do a blood test for that now.”
“What if I’m not sure if I want to know the sex?”
“That’s fine. A lot of first-time moms choose that route.”
Violet turned to me. “I think I want to wait.”
“Okay.” I smiled gently at her. Despite all the hard things she’d recently been through, for the first time I actually felt like things might be okay. We might just make it through all of this.
17
KEANE
“You’re probably going to need to haul all of that up,” Asa said, crouching down to inspect the flooring with me.
“I know,” I grunted and pulled up the first one. It was so dry it cracked in half lengthwise, along the grain. “Fuck.”
“You gotta be more careful,” Asa admonished, taking the hammer from me and using the claw to pry up a nail on the next one. “This decking is old—probably original. You might have to replace most of it.” He did two nails and handed me the hammer, intending me to repeat what he’d done.
It was in my head to argue with him about my method of pulling up the planks, if I’d just need to replace them anymore. But that was my frustration speaking, of another project being added to my list.
“I’ve got a group meeting soon,” Asa said, straightening. “You okay doing the rest of this?”
I glared at him, but I really wasn’t angry with him—just this damn project. “Fine.”
“If it makes you feel better, I don’t even have a deck yet.” He put his hands on his hips and stared down at me.
“Well, at least yours will start from scratch.” I whipped my head, sending sweaty hair flying. “You don’t have anything to tear up first.”
“And at least you have four solid walls and a roof, little brother.”
He was right, of course. “Get lost then, so you can’t grumble when I rip up the next plank and fuck it up.”
“I’m just saying, it’ll make your life easier.” Asa held up his hands and backed away. After a minute of me attempting to do it the way Asa showed me, I heard his truck start and drive away. And since he was gone, I repeated the method I’d used on the first one and groaned as I pried it out.
“Want a water bottle?” Violet leaned out of the doorway as I pried up one of the loose floorboards in the decking.
I nodded and rubbed my arm over my forehead. Sweat collected and kept sliding into my eyes. If I bitched about it to my brother, he’d tell me to cut my fucking hair.
A creak at the door had me turning my head. She pressed a bottle into my hands, and I murmured a thanks before I tipped the ice-cold water back and down my throat.
“I don’t get it,” I said, heaving a sigh as I set the detached floorboard to the side. “How do ladies deal with long hair, sweating all over their face?”
Violet laughed and crouched so that she sat beside me on the stoop. “We have things called scrunchies.” She looked over my forehead and nodded. “And headbands. Want one? I’m sure I have one.”
The fact that I was considering it at all must have signaled to her that I was annoyed by my fucking hair because she disappeared and then reappeared moments later with a pale pink fabric headband in her hands. “I’ve seen guys wear them at the gym,” she offered, as if I’d be embarrassed to use it.
I had pride, but wearing a headband wasn’t going to damage it any. “Thanks. I’ll try not to make it gross.” I slid it over my head and then up my face. Once my hair was pushed away from my face, I could finally fully see what a fucking nightmare this was going to be. From what I could see after removing just two of the planks, there was definite damage to a few of the joists under the deck and most of the ones that weren’t damaged were sagging under the weight of the load they’d been carrying.
“You look like you just heard someone died.” Violet crouched and wrapped her arms around her knees. “Can I help with anything?”
“No. I’m going to need to replace most of these joists and, I suspect, at least one of these beams.” I wanted to toss my tools across the yard. In the grand scheme of the house project, it wasn’t surprising that there would be issues along the way. But I hadn’t really thought about the work this would entail. I’d definitely need Asa’s help, which he’d probably grumble about since he had a whole fucking house to build still.
“Oh no.�
�� Violet looked under the decking. “Kind of creepy down there.”
“It is. When I used to play baseball out here, Gramps always made me climb under the deck to retrieve the balls that ended up here.” As I trailed my flashlight over the boards, I spotted a dirty white ball right next to one of the posts. “Son of a bitch.” I leaned down and shoved my arm through weeds until my fingers grasped it. I pulled the ball up and showed her. “I remember losing one and not being able to find it. I bet this one is it.” I twirled it around my hand. Though it had lived under a deck for at least a decade, it showed little wear except for some dirt.
The ball brought me back to many summers spent playing catch with Gramps right on this lawn. Asa had joined us on occasion, but Asa had always been a mama’s boy, choosing to stay with our mom while I spent my time off of school with Gramps. While our dad had been busy running a construction company that often took him out of town to big projects, Gramps had taken me under his wing, taught me how to be a man. And not just with hunting and fishing, but with how to take care of the people we loved.
I rolled the ball across the deck, silently giving thanks to the man who had given me so much more than just this plot of land I loved so much.
I glanced up at the sun overhead. “I’m going to have to run to town before it gets dark and get some stuff so I can start on the deck in the morning.”
“Can I come?”
“Uh…” That gave me pause. I looked at Violet, realizing that she’d been pretty cooped up at the cabin, except for her doctor appointment the day before. “If you want, I guess.” I didn’t see the harm in her joining me, and at least this time she’d be able to pick out dinner. Navy had said Violet wasn’t picky so maybe it was due to the pregnancy, but she had been picking at the options I’d brought by each day. And on the days that Navy brought something homemade, Violet had hardly eaten that either. “Have you had any cravings?” I asked her as she climbed in beside me into the truck.
“Yes. Burritos. In L.A., there was a food truck in our neighborhood that had the best burritos, the size of your head.”
I scratched my head in thought. “I think there’s a good Mexican place downtown that is somewhat new. We could stop by there for dinner on the way back?”
Violet lit up like I’d hardly seen her do. “Oh, I’d be so freaking happy, Keane.”
“Then it’s done. I’ve got to run into the hardware store and since we’ll be right by it, the grocery store. Then burritos to-go.”
“Perfect.” The whole drive back into Amber Lake, Violet chatted my ear off about her life in L.A., leaving out all the parts that had to do with her ex-boyfriend. She told me about her doctor’s appointment, seeing the baby on the screen and how Navy had had to rush back to town to cover for Delilah at the store.
I gritted my teeth. I knew for a fact that Navy was overwhelmed with everything as it was but hearing that she was covering for someone who was perfectly capable of doing her own damn job rankled. As it was, Navy was working so much that we barely had time to talk. At least, that’s what I blamed our distance on. We’d texted here and there, but nothing substantial. I hated that she wasn’t coming to me with her stress, unloading it onto my shoulders the way she used to.
“Maybe we should have Navy come up for dinner tomorrow,” I suggested to Violet after we left the hardware store. “Cook for her, for a change.”
“Tomorrow’s Friday. I think she has a thing with Hollis tomorrow.”
“Oh, right,” I said like I had already known about it. “Maybe Saturday, then.”
“I don’t think she’s planning on coming back up until Sunday, for the movies. She has to work all day Saturday and Sunday morning because Delilah can’t.”
I clenched and unclenched my jaw as I pulled into the grocery store that was around the corner from the hardware store. “Oh, okay. Well, I guess we’ll see her Sunday then.” What the fuck was wrong with me? I didn’t indulge in tiny disappointments like not seeing Navy. Maybe it was because I hadn’t seen her for a week, when we normally saw each other all the time. I missed her, I realized. The distance growing between us needed to stop. We’d need to have the talk about that night nearly two weeks ago, and what that meant.
I only hoped that talking that over with her would give me the clarity I seemed to be lacking.
Violet followed me through the grocery store as I grabbed a few essentials. “New stove comes in on Monday,” I said, by way of explaining all the real food I was buying—not just microwavable bullshit this time. “Maybe we can be fancy and cook our food on a baking sheet instead of a plate.”
“I’m not sure I’m ready to grow up so much, so quickly.” Violet laughed and put an arm protectively over her stomach. There wasn’t a real bump to speak of yet, but still, she seemed to do that motion a lot.
“What kinds of juice do you like?”
Violet’s face took on a shade of purple I’d never seen. “No orange juice,” she said. “My vomit in the mornings looks just like orange juice.”
“Gross,” I said, steering the cart further down the refrigerators. “How about cranberry? Isn’t that supposed to be good for your body or something?”
Violet shrugged. “Probably. Can we get some sparking water to mix it with?”
“Definitely.” We moved to the soft drinks aisle, which was much more crowded than any of the other aisles we’d gone down. I had trouble maneuvering the cart past the people but managed to land us right in front of the wall of bubbly beverages. “Pick your poison.”
Violet considered for a moment and as she put her hand onto a cardboard container, a few snickers drew both of our attentions sideways. A handful of teenage-looking girls were at the other end of the aisle, glancing sideways at us and specifically at Violet. I looked at Violet, wondering if something was amiss. Self-consciously, Violet put a hand over her shock-blonde hair. “I recognize them,” she whispered, not turning to look at me. “They’re probably making fun of my hair.”
“Yeah? Well, fuck ‘em.” I moved the cart further down the aisle until I was stopped near them. They didn’t even have the sense to quiet their chuckles. “Oh,” I said loudly, pulling their attention from Violet to me. “Are you making fun of my headband?” Truth be told, I’d forgotten I was wearing it.
One of the girls turned to look at me, giving me a look like I was the scum under her boot. She opened her mouth, and I turned my body so that I blocked Violet entirely.
“I’ll have you know, Sharon, this is the new style,” I said before she could speak.
“Sharon?” She made a face like she’d just eaten shit. “My name is—”
“I don’t care,” I interrupted, my voice lacking amusement. “Stop acting like an asshole.” After a shocked silence, she and her friends turned and made their way further down the aisle. “Bye, Sharon!”
“What did you say to them?” Violet asked when she joined me.
“I told them to stop being assholes.” I shrugged and continued. “Anything else you want?”
I turned around to give her a smile, but she was still playing with her blonde hair, looking at it like she regretted it. “I don’t want to take advantage of you.”
“You couldn’t if you tried,” I insisted. “What do you need?”
“Could we buy a box of hair dye?”
“Of course.” I steered the cart down toward the toiletries and let her take her time choosing a box of brown that most closely matched her hair before. “Ready?” I asked after she put it in the cart.
“Yes.” She gave me a smile. “Let me take the cart,” she insisted.
“I’ll meet you at the check-out,” I told her. “Want to grab some beer for this weekend.” I nodded my head toward the beer fridge to the left of the cash registers. “I’ll be quick.”
With a box of light beer under each arm, I loaded up the belt at the register Violet had chosen. And because I was fucking stupid, it wasn’t until our items were halfway through scanning that I registered who was scanning t
hem.
Fuck me. Megan.
I knew she worked here. I mean, I’d dated her for six months. But I hadn’t really thought about it when we’d come to the grocery store. This had been my grocery store as long as I could remember, and I wouldn’t avoid it just because an ex I still worked here. Though I’d never shopped here with someone else. Knowing Megan and her tendencies to be irrationally jealous, she’d look far too deep into me being here with someone else.
But Megan hadn’t seen me yet. I could give my cart to Violet and meet her at the car. But that would be a dick thing to do, I realized immediately after thinking it. And besides, Megan would surely see my name on her screen when Violet scanned the rewards card.
Fuck, fuck, fuckkkk.
I played it as cool as possible, thoroughly checking out all the candy bars that nine-year-old me had ever wanted. “You want any of these?” I asked Violet, making sure to stand so that she blocked me from Megan’s menacing eyes.
“All of them sound good. Are we doing s’mores this weekend?”
“Probably,” I said, grabbing as many chocolate bars as I could to stall the inevitable. “I keep these in my freezer,” I said, grabbing a bag of chocolate-covered peanut butter balls and putting them on the conveyer belt.
“Keane,” Megan said, and I straightened, meeting her eyes. I distinctly felt Violet scrutinizing us both as she bagged the groceries.
I shoved my debit card into the reader, typed in my pin and then looked at Megan again.
“Do you want to round up your purchase to the next dollar and donate it to the children’s hospital?”
“Sure.” Oh, she was being civil. A feat for her. Maybe this would go smoothly. I glanced sideways at Violet, who was placing bags into the cart. I picked up the box of soda cans and put them in myself, and then the beer as Megan scanned it last.
One Big Mistake: a friends to lovers rom-com Page 18
