Apparently Tristan was in charge of giving the news, judging by the way she nudged him.
“We’re still under contract for the TV show. There’s a half season left. It’s on hiatus while they think I’m dead.” He smirked, obviously loving the break from the cameras. “Once we start the show again, I have to fulfill my obligation. It’s not worth getting sued over.”
“Can you film it without Holly?” Rainey asked. “It wasn’t part of her contract.”
“Yeah, it was.” Callie wrapped her arm around Tristan. “The part where it said you’d participate in all promotional efforts. That’s our best advertising.”
Our. Like she had anything to do with it. She appeared on the show several times, in a less than flattering light. Like defending herself after someone leaked a sex tape of her and Tristan. Or she might have been promoting it. The line was pretty squiggly.
“We can’t have a camera crew following us around all the time.” I signed a no-Blade pact that I couldn’t make good on and we still had to find Gabriel. He hadn’t shown up with the intention of making his television debut.
Callie shrugged. “If people don’t like that you and Rainey are together, that’s their problem, not yours.”
I appreciated the sentiment, but that wasn’t what worried me. The fans could think whatever they wanted. It was the vampires, and the creatures who were waiting on the edge of their seats for us to fail who needed no extra ammunition.
“I’ll lose my job if a camera crew shows up,” Rainey said, clutching my hand. “People come for readings in confidentiality, and they share things that aren’t meant for TV. Sometimes we dig up sensitive stuff. Memories that don’t need to be shared.” The audience didn’t believe that the band were vampires, and they wouldn’t be able to handle when Rainey slid into a vision, or the temporary paralysis she experienced while receiving the message. It was scary enough for me, and I lived with it for hundreds of years.
“If this goes well, you won’t need to work there anymore.” Callie tried to wink but it was nowhere near as smooth as when Tristan did it. “We should have you on payroll anyway, you can tell us what to do next.”
“It doesn’t work like that,” I said.
Rainey shook her head. “I can’t See vampires in my visions.”
I glared at her, unable to figure out what the hell to say to cover up that massive admission. Callie looked like she’d just come downstairs on Christmas morning.
“When can you do this again?” Tristan asked, oblivious to the bombs going off around him. I knew better than that. He was much smarter than anyone gave him credit for. A shrewd businessman in his own right. He simply dealt in a different kind of currency. “The sooner we get the ball rolling, the sooner we can open.”
I forced a smile. This had gone from dream to disaster in the course of a conversation, and I was contractually bound to see it through. At least I’d get a headdress out of it. “I’m free.”
“I’ll see when I can get the guys in here, and I’ll give you a call.” He put the guitar down on the stool and hugged me with the arm that wasn’t attached to Callie. “We’re gonna own this fucking city.”
“SHE KNOWS.” I CHARGED across casino floor of Alta Vista. I was still dizzy and there was way too much going on in this room. The constant beeping of the slot machines, the people walking aimlessly, and the swirling pattern of the rug. I tried not to throw up on the roulette table. “Now I’ll have a camera crew trailing my every move. How the hell am I supposed to get my fire back? The whole world will know I’m a fraud. The Soul Divider show...that could’ve been a mistake. The last thing we need is people watching while we try to conjure a spell to turn me into the person I promised I was.”
It wasn’t the lyra making me sick. It was the promise I made that I couldn’t keep.
“You were amazing in there.” Rainey walked double time to keep up with my long strides. “And yeah, the camera crew is a problem. Not for Callie and Tristan of course, they’ll do anything with an audience. But for us—big fucking problem.”
“I can’t believe you told her you couldn’t See anything with vampires. Now she’s totally got the upper hand on us. And how will I meet with Blade? Remember the No Blade Clause? That made the contract. When they decide they want me out of the show, they’ll have all the evidence they need. And you know how they sever their contracts.”
“You should’ve never signed that without a lawyer looking at it. And you don’t need Blade. Sit.” She stopped in front of me and motioned to an empty slot machine.
“Here?” No one was paying attention to us, but we were so exposed. I sank into the pleather chair and wished the room would stop spinning.
“Yeah.” Rainey sat next to me and did something I never saw her do before. She pulled a twenty out of her purse and played the slot game. She used to love playing the tables, but she was banned from doing it at every casino, since she never lost. But this was a different game of chance. The first few spins didn’t yield anything, but the next one netted her a small victory. She turned to me. “There’s no way Callie doesn’t know what’s going on at Embrace.”
“Of course not.” I rustled through my bag, looking for cash. I pushed a crumpled five-dollar bill into my machine. More spinning things. Bad idea.
“She’s probably had some contact with either him or Rachel. Which I’m sure went smoothly.” Rainey grinned as she spun another winning round. “I’m sure they bragged that they could get their claws into you. Which means she’s got what they want. And now she’s got the means to flaunt it. Especially with that TV show.”
As usual, I was a pawn in someone else’s game. “And they have what I want.”
She cashed out, doubling her money, and turned to me. Her knees brushed against mine. Finally, the room stopped spinning. Her touch always calmed me. “Not true. You know what I saw when you were performing?”
I shook my head.
“A spark.” She nodded as my mouth fell open in surprise. “When you fell backward and swung from your knees. I wish I’d taken a picture of you, the way you looked. Peaceful. Like you were where you belonged. But I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
Rainey knew exactly what to say.
“You imagined it.” I cashed out my machine. I only had a dollar left. I should’ve left it there for the next person. Maybe they’d have more luck than I did. “I would’ve felt it if it happened.”
“It happened.” Rainey grabbed my arm, our gazes met, and everything else in the casino disappeared. “You need to believe in yourself,” she said before she came in for a kiss.
We usually didn’t kiss in public. Too many people gave us nasty looks for holding hands. It hurt that people thought love was dirty. Everyone wanted the same things. To feel safe and be supported. We had to get used to the judgment—we were about to step on a stage bigger than any we’d been on. But tonight, I was where I belonged, at the Alta Vista, the center of attention, the center of the universe.
It was good to be back.
Chapter Twenty-One
BLADE WASN’T A MONSTER. That was the problem.
But it didn’t stop us from taking precautions. I’d been driving Rainey to work. Rachel’s spell had worked once, and if she cast another one while Rainey was alone, there was no telling what could happen. She was immortal, but there was only so much we could survive. And we got an extra lock for the door. No more surprises.
My body was sore in new places after using the lyra. I liked that, it meant that I had room to grow. I put on my gym clothes, usually I went straight there after I dropped Rainey off, but I forgot my headphones. Tristan had sent me a file in the early hours of the morning.
You inspired me, he wrote in the email. I couldn’t wait to hear how I’d spoken to him. The lyra felt clumsy in my grip, but the pole had at first, too. I’d learn to make it speak for me like Tristan’s guitar did for him.
I skipped the gym and went home, slipping my headphones on and pushing the furniture to the e
dges of the living room. I wanted to dance. Being on stage again reminded me how much. The first song on Tristan’s mix tape wasn’t acoustic. It opened with a sexy, bluesy riff that I pictured myself strutting to, every eye in the room on me, waiting to see what I’d do. Oh yeah, I was definitely going topless when the show opened. The music demanded nothing less. I couldn’t cover up this message. The music and my body would be one. I arched my back and spun around spreading my arms slowly, imagining I had wings. If only I could fly. Maybe I’d ask them to put me on wires.
Or maybe I could learn how.
My father could do it. And Lennon moved faster than time could capture. I opened my eyes when I reached full span, and something snapped.
A spark.
Holy shit. My fire. But I had no idea how I made it happen. Uncontrolled fire was more dangerous than no fire at all.
The next song started even though I wasn’t ready for it. Tristan upped the intensity. He probably meant for this one to be my pole song, because it had a circular rhythm to it. The landlord would probably lose his mind if I put a pole in here, but it would happen. If all went well, we wouldn’t give a shit about the security deposit anymore. I wriggled out of my gym clothes—I had to work on making that sexy again—then dropped to a full split, ignoring the pain. I spun my legs around, and then settled on my knees, arching my back.
No more flames.
The music was perfect. I’d always wanted a more classic soundtrack for my routines, but the producers of the show were too chicken shit to give it a try. They insisted we kept it modern. Tristan had written a mix of timeless music; past, present, and future.
I made the right decision, working with him. It would take a while for the guilt to fade, choosing him over Blade. I considered it a gift that I saw beauty in people’s flaws, like Tristan’s charisma and Blade’s darkness. My father had brought Blade and me together so we could learn to control the flames. We never had a chance to do that.
The music ended. A sheen of sweat covered my bare body as I sat alone on the living room floor in silence. Something gave me the creeps, and I pushed the headphones away. I blocked myself from the rest of the universe, but that didn’t mean they did the same for me.
Someone or something was here, watching me. For once, I hadn’t wanted an audience. I scrambled into my clothes, looking for some proof that I hadn’t gone crazy. I never had this feeling before. Fear chilled me, stemming from the same place my fire should’ve come from.
Extreme emotion. I had to learn to control it.
Nothing was in the apartment but me. The locks were secure and the windows closed. I went out on the balcony and almost screamed when I saw Gabriel standing in the parking lot.
He looked like a Viking, lost but at the same time determined. His expression brightened when I caught his gaze, and I motioned to let him know I was coming down to meet him.
He was here for Rainey, I knew that. But he emerged from the shadows only recently, and we couldn’t miss his message.
“We came looking for you,” I said as I approached him. “It’s hard to find goodness when we live so close to Hell.”
Gabriel shook his head. “Don’t look for me. I’ll come find you when the time is right.”
Goosebumps flourished on my skin. I put my gym clothes on, but they didn’t cover more than they had to. “Looking for a new apartment?” I joked.
“I have a home,” he said in a way that made it sound like I didn’t. “It’s good to see you, Holly.”
“Rainey’s at work.” A lump of fear threatened to choke me. He scared Rainey, and that was what worried me. “I can bring you there.”
“That won’t be necessary, time is of the essence now. My message concerns you. You’re the flame that flickers out of control. Rainey’s one of us. Rainey was sent to be your guardian.”
He spoke in riddles, just like Rainey’s visions. It felt like stealing from her, to have an audience with her messenger after he eluded her for centuries. He should be talking to her. This wasn’t for me to hear, no matter what he said. Hearing it from Rainey would soften the blow. After all, he just said she was here as my guardian. She’d protect me. I never needed her more.
“Why don’t you come into the house?” This was too important for anyone to overhear. At least he had the sense to come before the camera crew descended on us. The clock ticked loudly.
The time for secrets was almost up.
Gabriel nodded and followed me. “The two of you have acclimated well.”
“What does that mean?” I really wanted to ask him if he was in on the fix all along with our Aunt Lucille, who never told me that she was my grandmother. She neglected to tell me who my parents were until I went back in time and found them, and Rainey was still a complete wildcard.
“You and Rainey are unique beings, but you were always drawn together. Her light and your darkness. The fire was given to you so you could find a way out of it. But it keeps pulling you back in.”
Like Rainey’s visions, his words had double meaning. The darkness could’ve been inside of me, or the place I was from. Either seemed like a logical explanation.
“That’s for sure.” I stood in the middle of the living room, which I hadn’t had a chance to put back together. Gabriel sat on the couch, unfazed. I wondered if he knew what it looked like when Rainey was here. When everything was how it was supposed to be, neat and orderly, before I fucked it all up.
“If you slip into darkness again, the cost will be high. You won’t go alone. But if you embrace the light, Rainey’s mission is complete.”
He couldn’t possibly mean that. I couldn’t breathe. “You can’t take her from me.”
Forever was a long time in immortality. Rainey was a piece of me I couldn’t possibly replace. The last time I tried to live without her, I burned.
“There’s nothing else she can do for you.” Gabriel had the lightest blue eyes I’d ever seen, almost translucent. He was freaking me out. “Rainey was created to serve. To show those lost in the shadows to the light. She’s taken longer to complete her mission with you than we anticipated.”
He had the nerve to chuckle. My head hurt. It was time to turn the riddles around on him. “When you told me I looked like Lennon, you meant more than we shared a resemblance, didn’t you?”
I made Gabriel blink. I considered it a victory. “Do you share more than that?” he asked.
“Don’t play dumb with me. You thought I needed a babysitter. I suffered through Lucille for centuries. Cash was in my life for all of five minutes. They’re both gone, and Rainey’s still here.”
“There are new threats.” More riddles.
“Yeah, and soon there will be a camera crew recording my every move.” So he needed to spit it out. “I had two offers on the table; I accepted one of them. But you showed up before that. Rainey’s visions always make sense after the event comes to pass. Before that, she sounds crazy. I think it’s endearing, but that’s not the point. You sound like her, and you’re nowhere near as cute.”
Gabriel snickered. He’d probably never been described as cute before. He looked like he ate the weak for breakfast. His hair hung down to his chest, almost dreaded, but that was on purpose. It rested on a soft leather jacket that wasn’t quite black. He reclined, not taking my bait. His shirt clung to his muscled chest. I imagined what he’d look like without it. He wore dress pants, but a man like Gabriel didn’t need a suit to command a room.
“What are you?” I asked. All I had to go on was Rainey’s speculations.
“A messenger, and a guide.” His eyes darkened. They were like the ocean, reflecting the sky. Or in this case, the energy around him. He wasn’t a vampire. He wouldn’t answer my question directly.
“Is Rainey like you?” I was afraid of the answer.
“She’s my child.” Something that looked an awful lot like regret washed over his face. “I taught her all I could before it was time for her to serve her purpose. I’m very proud of her.”
; “Why have you only come for her now?” We had shit luck in the parent department. They left us to our own devices for two hundred odd years and wondered why we fucked everything up beyond all recognition when they checked in with us.
He stood, filling the room. I took a step back. “I’ve always been with her. Guiding her. Answering her questions. She was never lonely. Because of her love for you, she never realized that it was a duty.”
That hurt more than I could possibly explain. I wasn’t sure if Gabriel was a friend or foe. So I buried the pain alongside the rest of it. It would eventually become a part of my collection of scars. “I love her, too.”
He nodded. “But you hurt her.”
“I know.” Time and everything I believed to be real fell away from me like sand. Even if I tried to pick it up and put it back together, it would slip through my fingers. Gabriel had come to take Rainey from me when I needed her most.
I did it again, thinking of what I needed without considering her needs. I always thought of them as one and the same. Rainey didn’t have the same talent for stepping in shit that I did, but if she did, I’d have her back, like she had for me so many times.
“Love is a funny thing, isn’t it? It knows no limits. It flourishes when it should wither. But if it isn’t fed, it dies.” He frowned. “Not every emotion can be immortal.”
“How long do I have with her?” I had one last chance to make things right. That was Gabriel’s message for today.
“As long as you need, until you’re strong enough to complete your journey on your own.” He walked to the door. “Playing games will backfire, Holly. You must be honest with everyone. Most of all, yourself.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
DRIVING UNDER THE INFLUENCE of Gabriel was worse than riding shotgun with Rainey when Rachel had gotten ahold of her. I wondered if they fought for real estate in her head that night. I clutched the steering wheel, tensing at every passing car. Not a good thing at rush hour on roads that had two or three lanes in each direction. I’d been honked at so much it was practically a song.
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