by S M Mala
‘While aiming to give me mouth to mouth?’
‘I did not try to kiss you and will you stop telling people that!’ she hissed looking around to see if anyone was coming into the kitchen. ‘Everyone makes out I tried it on. You said I was the last woman on earth you’d shag let alone kiss. Even Eadie and Jack think I accosted you.’
‘Well you did!’ he wailed with laughter.
‘Oh shut up!’ she said and tried to quickly walk out but he stood in her way.
‘Just admit it,’ he said, bending down to look her directly in the eyes.
‘There’s nothing to admit,’ Maya replied calmly. ‘You’ve healed up well and I’ll keep out of your way.’
‘I heard you and Vince split after what happened. Even your bloke knew you were getting fresh with me.’
‘We split months later because he couldn’t keep his dick in his trousers and knocked up the receptionist where he worked, if you want to know the truth.’
‘And you’re still childless,’ he smiled.
‘Go away Adam, you know the answer,’ Maya shrugged feeling embarrassed by the question and hurt. ‘I got pregnant as well and miscarried which is just my luck.’
He stared at her for a moment as she knew he was ticking something over.
‘Then it’s just bad luck and I’m sorry to hear about your loss. How old are you now? Forty nine?’
‘You know the answer! I’m seven years older than you. Can you let me just pass?’
‘I heard you now want babies without the man?’ Adam said, standing up straight.
‘I wonder who told you that? Your darling sister? I want the man, I just can’t find him,’ Maya replied and looked around to see if anyone was listening before whispering. ‘And I will have babies, one day.’
‘How?’ Adam eyed her suspiciously and she realised he looked exactly like Eadie when she was being mischievous. ‘Tell me more.’
‘I’m not telling you anything,’ she said, trying to push pass.
‘Is it one of your mad ideas? Like your website?’
‘That’s not a mad idea and I’d thought you’d be at least a tiny bit interested how your good work has turned out.’
‘Don’t you dare tell anyone I designed that for you,’ he whispered looking around.
‘Why? Will you get in trouble for helping me? I did pay you.’
‘I hate the name.’
‘I called it ‘Pushing over 40’ for women who push in their forties… you know give birth?’
‘It’s a stupid name and your family don’t approve of your hobby,’ he said, raising his eyebrows. ‘They think you spend too much time on it and not enough on other things.’
‘Like what?’
Maya looked at his pink lips and knew that was exactly what got her into trouble last time.
‘Finding a bloke,’ he said flirtatiously, moving closer. ‘Tell me what you’re up to now?’
‘I’ll tell you if you keep your mouth firmly shut. I mean it. If Harry finds out I will kill you,’ she said, stepping back and sensing he was teasing her, yet again.
‘Fighting talk Maya, haven’t we got fiery?’ he replied, tongue in cheek. ‘Go on then, tell me.’
‘Not a word,’ she said and took a deep breath before downing her drink. ‘I’ve been going to a clinic for a few months for … you know what.’
‘What?’
‘You know,’ she said, trying to pull a face and pointing towards her tummy.
‘What?’ asked Adam blankly. ‘Tummy tuck?’
‘Why would I need a tummy tuck?’ she said, holding her stomach in and glaring.
‘You were pointing down there so I thought-.’
‘Artificial insemination,’ she hissed and waited for an expression of some sort but was met with a wry smile. ‘I found a good clinic, not cheap mind. You know, you can buy the stuff over the internet but how do you know what you’re getting isn’t just porridge?’
At that moment she caught the look on his face. It was screwed up and there was a faint expression of disgust.
‘I’ll stop,’ she said, realising he wasn’t interested and not wanting to ponder too long on his expression. ‘It’s something you don’t understand.’
‘Well thanks for sharing that with me Maya. Catching up with you is always enlightening.’
‘Ah, forget I said anything and don’t breathe a word,’ she said, feeling embarrassed and caught a glance of the new neighbour being chatted up by Dee. ‘I better go and join the party.’
‘Have you thought this through?’
‘Yes,’ she said, seeing he had a look of doubt over his face when she answered. ‘I’ve had a few failed attempts already.’
‘You’ve started?’ Adam said, betraying how shocked he was on hearing the news.
‘Yes,’ she said, filling her glass up again and tried to avoid eye contact.
‘The child won’t know its father. Even you won’t know the father!’
‘That’s half of the UK isn’t it?’ she sniffed. ‘The difference is I’m paying a lot of money for it in a sterile environment compared to a mucky one night stand.’
‘How much are you paying for the pleasure… or not?’ he asked, running his fingers through his hair before taking a deep breath and frowning.
‘I know you don’t approve but I don’t care. I have savings and I’m getting on. See this party,’ she said, pointing to the people in the garden. ‘This is one of the highlights of my social calendar and a chance to meet men. And, because of you, for the last eighteen months no one talks to me because of ‘The Sperminator’ nickname. So what can I do?’
‘Go out more with people who don’t know you very well or at all,’ he laughed before reaching over to get a bottle of beer.
‘Easier said than done,’ she replied, examining him closely while he was busy trying to prise the top off the bottle.
Something inside her sank as she looked at the young man she fancied since the day she met him but who thought of her, in his words as ‘an old bint.’
‘I need some extra cash,’ he said, taking a swig from the bottle and looking at her squarely in the eye.
‘Don’t we all,’ she said, wedging past him.
‘I need to earn some money to pay off a few debts.’
‘Get a job? Do your freelance thing. You earn lots then.’
‘Are you listening to me?’
‘If you want me to put a good word in where I work you’ll find that we don’t have a lot of call for sound engineers unless we’re dealing with deaf managers,’ she chuckled at her own joke.
‘Do you want me to help you? Give you something you need for a price?’
Maya looked into his eyes then realised what he was getting at.
‘Seriously,’ he said, leaning closer to her face, making her breathe quicker. ‘I’m willing to donate.’
‘Oh seriously,’ she said, half laughing and half beginning to panic while she shook the trance off. ‘And you’re just trying to take the piss again, aren’t you?’
‘I’m being deadly serious.’
‘Okay, let’s get this straight. Are you saying you want to be a sperm donor for cash?’
Even Maya couldn’t believe she was actually saying it.
‘Sure. No sex mind,’ he said, pulling a face of disgust. ‘Strictly a donation.’
‘You really think I’ve got shit for brains, don’t you?’
‘Why not? You need someone to fertilise your ever so poached eggs and I’m here, ready, willing and able to help. I’m young and full of cum.’
‘You have no idea what you’re saying,’ putting her hand out in revulsion at his last comment. ‘This isn’t a game. I want a baby and you’re telling me you want to help? What about Penelope?’
‘Who’s she?’ he said, shrugging his shoulders and looking around. ‘No one need know. I definitely wouldn’t want anyone to know about it. You tell me when to turn up, I’ll do the job, you sort out how it gets in and Bob’s your uncle.’
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br /> ‘You won’t be an uncle, you’ll be a genetic father,’ she replied, seeing he was being deadly serious.
‘At least you know with my genes it’ll be good looking,’ he smirked. ‘Because, let’s face it, your genes let the side down.’
‘Oh sod off! I knew you were taking the piss. I wish I’d never said anything to you.’
Maya shook her head while he started to laugh.
‘But you did.’
‘Because I’m an idiot, that’s why.’
‘Only when it comes to me,’ he laughed before Maya shoved him aside, catching him off balance and marched into the conservatory.
‘Hey wait up!’ he shouted, following her out. ‘We haven’t finished negotiating.’
‘Negotiating what?’ Dee asked, stepping out in front of Maya, as Tony stood there looking on.
‘He’s homeless,’ Maya said, not wanting to turn around to look at Adam.
‘Haven’t you got the flat sorted yet?’ Dee gushed looking sympathetically at her little brother. ‘You know you’re always welcome to stay here for as long as you like.’
‘That’s good of you,’ Adam said. ‘But Maya offered-.’
‘Shut up!’ Maya snapped looking down at the ground.
‘Did you offer to let him stay round yours?’ Dee asked with a look of anguish. ‘That’s not a good idea.’
‘Why not? I’m not going to sexually accost him you know, regardless of what you and he thinks,’ said Maya, seeing Dee give Adam a reassuring look before noticing Tony smile in the background as he sipped his drink. ‘I didn’t offer him anything but I will give him another bleeding nose if he doesn’t stop annoying me!’
‘Maya!’ Dee snapped. ‘It was you offering him something else that led to that accident.’
Adam burst out laughing and glanced at her. She could see the Brady family clearly thought she was in the wrong.
‘I didn’t offer him anything,’ she said, looking at Adam knowing there was a snide comment yet to come out from his mouth. ‘What?’
‘Nothing,’ he said, holding up his hands.
‘Come on, you have an opinion so spit it out,’ she said calmly but still with the need to throttle him.
‘The offer stands,’ he replied, smiling broadly. ‘All you have to do is say ‘yes’.’
‘Okay, I’m lost here,’ said Dee, looking at the pair of them. ‘What offer?’
‘I think your brother is demented,’ Maya replied. ‘And I think the conversation is over.’
‘I know you want to,’ Adam said, walking next to her and laying a heavy arm across her shoulders that made her feel like she was sinking into the ground as he smiled at Dee and Tony. ‘Isn’t she gorgeous? If only she wasn’t as old as my mother you know I’d gladly give you a good-.’
‘Adam!’ Dee snapped. ‘We have guests.’
Maya looked at Tony who was laughing at the scene.
‘Let me remind you, what was it ‘with a barge pole’ or something like that, see I don’t forget,’ Maya replied, shoving his arm off before sprinting to the table with all the drinks and hearing him laugh behind her.
She filled her glass up then knocked it back. There was always a problem with thinking straight when Adam was around. As she turned she caught him walking into the hub of the living room.
‘How are you doing?’ Tony said, coming up behind her as she regretted confiding in Adam.
‘I’m sorry you had to witness one of our happy family scenes,’ Maya half laughed through embarrassment. ‘Adam thinks he’s funny.’
‘I thought he was being quite cheeky.’
‘That’s him all over, full of cheek and other stuff,’ she smirked and sighed.
‘Dee seems really lovely,’ he smiled, standing directly in front of her and she realised he was quite tall.
‘I think the poor thing looks at me as something she inherited but can’t get rid of.’
‘I’m sure she sees your positive traits.’
‘Babysitting,’ she flatly replied and looked at him. ‘I’m really sorry about putting my foot in it about your wife.’
‘Don’t worry about it,’ he said, shrugging his shoulders.
‘How long ago did you move in?’ she said, standing up straight and looking up at the handsome man while trying to act as sober as possible.
‘About six weeks ago but the work has been going on for months. The girls are so, so about it but it’s a matter of adapting. They loved the other house.’
‘Why did you move if they liked it so much?’
‘Memories,’ he said and she noticed he looked sad before sighing. ‘After my wife died I’ve been a little slow moving on.’
‘It all takes time. Have you always lived around here?’
‘Yes, more towards the river but I needed a smaller home and garden to help me in my old age.’
‘These houses aren’t exactly small and you’re surely nowhere near retirement age.’
‘At fifty one I hope not,’ Tony laughed out. ‘But who knows. My daughters think I’m ancient.’
‘My niece and nephew think I’m beyond help,’ Maya laughed and looked around the party. ‘Where are your daughters now?’
‘Off out.’
‘Aren’t they a little young?’
‘Alice is twenty one and Eve is eighteen.’
‘I thought they were little teenagers!’ exclaimed Maya then felt depressed. ‘See, I am getting old.’
‘You don’t look it,’ he smiled and Maya noticed his smile made you want to smile back. ‘Do you live nearby?’
‘Ten minutes from here.’
‘Would you like to go out for a drink some time? I need to get to know the neighbours and we could talk about your website. I have some good contacts.’
‘Me?’ Maya was gob smacked for a moment then realised he was being sincere. ‘Why?’
‘Why not?’ he asked bemused.
‘Really?’ replied Maya, feeling flattered. ‘Hasn’t Dee warned you not to get too close just in case I bite?’
‘She said you were neurotic about getting pregnant though, unfortunately, I can’t help with that as I’ve had a vasectomy,’ Tony laughed out, surprising Maya.
‘This must be your lucky day because I’m putting the baby making on the back burner for a few months as I need a rest and a rethink,’ she said, looking into the living room unable to see Adam.
‘Too many heavy nights?’
‘Too many bloody disappointments!’
Now
The telephone had been constantly ringing as she opened her laptop and looked at the messages on the website. She couldn’t face writing anything but scoured the emails to make sure everything was okay.
Her feelings towards these women had changed.
Did she need them more or less after all what had happened?
Was her story to warn them off?
If someone had sat her down and seriously told her it would happen, would she have laughed it off or heeded the warning?
What right had she to run a website where her knowledge was so little about the subject matter she wouldn’t have been able to give advice to someone else in her shoes?
What right had she to want anything?
What right had she to believe she could have a baby?
Then
Maya turned on her back as she lay in bed, half dying from a hangover but mostly regretting her conversation with Adam the night before.
‘Bastard,’ she mumbled to herself while her head felt like there was a lead marble knocking it from side to side, leaving a throb all over her skull.
Then she remembered laughing with Tony and arranging to meet him for a drink.
‘Shit!’
After taking the necessary dose of headache tablets, she brushed her teeth, scrubbed her tongue and washed her face. This was the moment she knew if she weighed herself the scales would read four pounds lighter than yesterday morning. She hopped on, looked down to find she was only three pounds lighter.
&n
bsp; ‘Obviously not enough drinking then,’ she said, then got into the shower and tried to remove the remnants of stale alcohol coming from her pores.
Eventually she got out and stood there, as if immobilised by some sort of weight inside her body. Maya managed to brush her teeth again, add hair product, slap some moisturiser on and head to the bedroom. Pulling on her clothes she collapsed onto her bed face forward and slept for fifteen minutes.
‘Here I am!’ she announced as brightly as she could standing on Shona’s doorstep. ‘Five minutes early.’
Her friend looked at her with a sneer then broke out into a large smile.
‘God you look like shit,’ she said, before grabbing the bottle out of Maya’s hand and summoning her in. ‘Good party?’
‘It was alright,’ she replied and followed Shona through the large house into the kitchen. ‘Usual crap!’
‘I was pissed as a fart when we got home. I had to go straight to bed,’ Shona laughed. ‘What do you want to drink?’
‘Water,’ Maya replied and let out a big sigh.
Shona turned to look at her.
‘What’s wrong with you? I think a nice glass of cold cava will perk you up no end.’
‘Alcohol, a solution to my problems,’ mumbled Maya, her head still hurting.
‘You haven’t got problems,’ Shona replied, quickly knocking up a drink and slamming it down in front of Maya.
‘No husband, no baby, no chance and no hope.’
‘Oh god you’re dull!’ replied her friend, sitting down in front of her.
‘It’s alright for you. You’ve got a husband and a kid. You have it all.’
‘Really,’ replied Shona with a surprised expression.
‘If only I could get laid that’d save me money. That’s if anyone is interested. I accidentally spoke to Adam last night.’
She took a large swig out of her glass which made her want to retch but she kept on swallowing until she stopped convulsing.
‘You better not have told him about the sperm clinic,’ Shona scowled. ‘Please tell me you didn’t say anything.’
‘Well he looks at me like I’m a stupid-.’
‘Sex kitten?’
‘Old mog!’
Maya drifted back to the conversation and shook her head.
