by Susan Ward
“I’m never later than sunset getting back from the clinic.” I plopped down on the bed and watched Damon dress. “Both of my parents are probably on high alert. It will make it harder to explain Dr. Hern’s report without my mother losing it. You’re going to have to hold back, Damon, let me take care of things once we’re home. I’m going to have to manage them very carefully.”
Damon stopped dressing. Maybe if I hadn’t known him so well I would have missed the subtle change of his expression, but I saw it. “I’ve never seen you like this before, Khloe. It’s like you’re on high alert. What’s going on?”
He’d gone from happy and playful to intensely focused on me so quickly that his alertness landed like a body snap for me.
Blinking in surprise, I said, “I just need to get home, Damon. That’s all.”
“No, that’s not all of it. Not completely.” He shook his head before he pulled on his shirt.
My eyes widened, and my blood hummed through my veins. “Are you going to finish that thought, or do you intend to make me guess at what you’re implying?”
“Somehow I never saw it before.” He raked back the hair from his brow, went from standing to sitting, and leaned over to tie his Converse. “What the biggest problem between us having a life together has been. Christ, I don’t even know how I’ve missed it.”
“Biggest problem?” My face heated. “What exactly do you think you’ve failed to see?”
“Why it was so hard for you to commit to me before. Why you pushed me away for months until we landed alone in Venice. It wasn’t exclusively about who I am or your cancer. It’s about your parents as well.”
“My parents.” I frowned. “That’s ridiculous, Damon.”
“No, it’s not. It makes perfect sense. What’s ridiculous is that I’ve somehow missed it. You’re their youngest child. They dote on you and at times treat you like a teenage girl instead of an adult. It’s like your cancer has frozen you at fourteen in their eyes, and your illness has taken a toll on all three of you. Quite understandable, but maybe it’s taken a toll on you in ways you haven’t realized. Ways that have and might continue to undermine our life together.”
For a second or two, I couldn’t believe he’d said that. I crossed my arms and glared at him. “There’s nothing undermining our future, except possibly this conversation. You’re being mean, critical of something you don’t know anything about, and I don’t like it.”
His brows hitched up, surprised. “I’m not trying to be mean. I’m trying to understand all the emotional nuances of your dynamic that I need to be sensitive to and support you through.”
“I’ll make that easy for you, Damon. Not being mean. That’s a big one for me. Master that, and we’ll be fine. Now will you finish dressing so we can go?”
He stood up and came to me. Wrapping me in his arms, he pulled my tense body against him and rested his cheek against the top of my head. “Khloe, you’re not in this alone. Not any longer. Your illness is part of our relationship. Part of us. How we manage it is no one’s business but ours. The decisions we make are no one’s business but ours. If we can’t commit to that, we risk our happiness and future together. Our life is about you and me. Two people. No one else any longer.”
“I thought that was what we were doing today,” I replied quickly. “Why we went to the clinic together. And why we stopped at the beach house afterward. Managing things our way.”
“Yes. Partly.” He swayed from side to side, rocking me. “But you’ve got to let go of the reins a little. Give up trying to control how your cancer affects the people you love. You’ve gotten so used to protecting your parents from your illness that you’re afraid to do the things you want out of fear it might worry them.”
I stepped out of his arms. “That’s preposterous. Really, Damon, insulting.”
“Don’t be defensive. It’s not a criticism. You’re the strongest girl I’ve ever known. But you don’t have to be strong for everyone, not anymore. Let your parents lean on each other. Let yourself lean on me.”
“If you’re not criticizing me, why does it feel like we’re in a fight?”
Damon’s smile was packed with tenderness. “Because you’re not ready to completely let go of your fears. You’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t have something other than yourself to worry about. But you don’t have to be. I’m here with you. Let me help get you through the rest of today, including talking with your parents. Don’t shut me out by worrying what your news might mean to them. It’s not your job to worry about your parents, love. It’s their job to worry about you. And it’s our job to worry about each other.”
WE ENTERED THE LIVING ROOM and found Cody sitting on the ground with his back against the couch, half-eaten cartons of Chinese takeout filling up the surface of the low table in front of him, and his partner, Gideon, reclined beside him.
Cody looked up at us, amused. “I wasn’t expecting you two to be ready to hit it yet. You’ve gotta be hungry after that fight you just had. Grab some Chinese, and cop a squat on the carpet. We’ve got plenty. Our show will be over in fifteen. We can take off then, and you can tell me what you two were arguing about.”
There was so much just not right in his single comment that my head spun, unsure where to begin. My gaze shifted to the flat screen on the wall. Yuck, it was that reality dating series they loved, and yes, Cody wasn’t joking about me waiting until he was done watching TV.
Oh, jeez, Louise. I expected Cody to understand why hanging out over Chinese wasn’t an option for us.
I arched a brow and looked back at him. “I’m not even going to ask where Gideon came from. I told you I wanted to get home by cocktail hour on the cliffs. Why didn’t you text me you were here?”
Cody frowned. “You took off on me and got busy too fast for me to tell you anything. Pardon me for being a considerate friend and not interrupting you. Besides, you know the drill, Khloe. I’m always where you are. Even if you don’t see me, I’m near. I figured you’d come get me when you were ready.”
“I sent you to REI for winter gear. How was I supposed to know you decided to have a slumber party in my dad’s beach house with your boyfriend?”
“If only it were a slumber party,” Cody teased, and for a beat his green eyes glittered wickedly at Gideon. “Well, for us, that is. Sounded like you and Damon had quite a slumber party.”
Behind me, I heard Damon say, “So much for not having someone on the other side of the wall, Khloe.” His soft laughter filled my ears.
I fought back my blush and plopped down on the couch close to Cody. “It would be nice if you sometimes remembered you work for me and would do what I requested—without improvising on your own.”
“I thought we cleared that up in the car. I work for your parents. I won’t get any winter gear unless you explain what’s up with that. And I couldn’t go shopping. That would leave you at the house alone. Aside from the fact that my job would be an unending shit-fest with the guys from Black Star Security if I became the first bodyguard in company history to lose a British prince to terrorists or a kidnapping, I’ve grown kinda fond of Damon.”
“Not going to happen, babe,” Gideon announced. “You’re better than any ten bodyguards combined into one at the company. Khloe and Damon don’t have to worry one bit about their security with you on the job, Cody.”
“I know, but thanks for saying it, Gid. It’s nice someone appreciates me.”
“I do, babe,” he said reassuringly. “Especially that night when those thugs attacked the Doctors Without Borders camp and you saved my life. Not even a full team. Just Cody, kicking ass and taking names. Has he ever told you that story, Damon?”
Damon pursed his lips. “No, he hasn’t. But I’ve had the opportunity to experience firsthand how skilled Cody is in covert operations. If not for him—”
“And the team,” Cody put in generously.
“I wouldn’t be in Pacific Palisades,” Damon fin
ished.
Seriously?
Why was it that every time there were more than two men in a room, Damon digressed from everything important?
“No Black Star Security stories. Not tonight,” I interrupted. “Gideon, unpause the DVR—and by the way, hello. You two finish watching your show so we can get out of here. If you’re going to have Chinese before we leave for the house, Damon, do it fast. And don’t think I’m not calling you in the morning to discuss this, Cody. Just because you can’t leave me alone doesn’t mean it’s okay to call Gid to grab some takeout and hang with him while you’re on the clock.”
“We’ll be home in half an hour, Khloe,” Cody said, a bit befuddled by my behavior. “Simmer down. Have some Chinese. Consider it a public service to your parents that I’m not taking you straight there right now. Damn, girl, you’re wound up too tight. Relax. Breathe. It’s all good.”
The color spread down my neck from how the guys stared me, even my Damon. Cody’s expression conveyed I was acting like a deranged diva. I was sure I hadn’t been that bad, though I admitted that, yes, I was a bit out there, but my nerves had been a tangled jumble since waking from my after-sex nap with Damon and realizing how late it was.
Exhaling, I slouched back against the cushions. “Okay, okay. Finish your show and dinner. A half hour is fine.”
Damon settled beside me.
He lightly squeezed my fingers before reaching for the food on the table. After he got a couple of bites in his mouth, I seized the chopsticks from his fingers and plunged them into the box of chow mein he was holding.
I pointed at the TV with the sticks. “Is that the same girl from last season?” Watching this show together used to be our thing.
“Yes,” Gideon said. “The guy she picked didn’t show up for the wedding. That’s why they brought her back this season.”
I crinkled my nose. “Which one did she pick? I never got to see the season finale.”
“The hunky one,” Cody said.
“He isn’t that hunky,” Gideon corrected.
“I thought he was,” I said. “He had very sexy brown eyes.”
“Really cut body, too.” Cody smiled. “I like a guy who keeps himself fit and strong.”
“I work out,” Gideon protested. “At the hospital every day.”
“I know, babe. But you could use more cardio work.”
“I’m on my feet all day at the hospital. I get more than enough cardio work.”
I bit back a laugh, and when I turned to hand the chow mein back to Damon, he was engrossed in their bickering. “Don’t let them keep you from eating, Damon. They’re only going to argue until the end of the commercial. Cody’s a fiend about this show. No way this lasts through the last five minutes of the episode.”
Chapter Six
Khloe
The Past
WE CLEANED UP THE MESS from Cody and Gideon’s dinner and then headed for home.
As I sat beside Damon in the SUV, I realized I was anxious again, and our discussion from the bedroom rose in my mind. I wondered if it was true that I obsessed over my parents’ reaction to my illness because I was afraid of what would happen if I didn’t have something other than myself to worry about.
Even as my eyes stung from having heard Damon say that, I knew it hadn’t come from a place of criticism or meanness. He’d said it because he loved me and wanted us to mold completely into our own relationship as desperately as I did. He was trying hard to be what I needed him to be, and I had a long way to go in learning how to be who I needed to be for us.
We were inextricably entwined now; there was no direction to go other than where our love would take us, and Damon was more than a part of my life—he was my life.
Cupping his nape, I brought his mouth down close to mine, stopping before our lips touched. “I’m happier with you than I’ve ever been before,” I told him.
“Me, too.” The kiss he gave me was sweetly gentle, and then he nuzzled his nose against my temple. “Try to remember that when we discuss…everything…with your parents. We’re going to need to always be on the same side when dealing with your family. There’s no shortage of strong opinions or people willing to speak their mind among your relatives. Especially your father.”
Oh my. I laughed. “My dad’s not that bad.”
“Not bad at all. He loves you. It makes it twice as hard to disagree with Alan. His heart is always in the right place.”
He planted tiny kisses along my brow, then sat back.
I studied him for a moment, and then gaped in surprise. “You’re anticipating a fight with my dad over us moving to Wyoming. That’s why you wanted to have a serious conversation instead of flirty talk in the bedroom.”
“Not a fight, per se. More anticipating a strong disagreement and a long discussion after we tell him everything.”
My lips pursed. “Then discuss strongly back until my dad understands we’re not changing our decision on this.”
“I intend to. Or rather, I intend not to get trapped into a discussion with him. I’m going to tell your dad how it’s going to be and put a fast stop on it.”
His chin lifted slightly, and I had to bite back my smile. Damon was seriously dreading this and bracing himself for the worst of outcomes.
“Fast stop? I don’t think that’s a very good strategy, Damon. A fast stop is not happening, not with my dad. You better think up a better plan, fast.”
He grimaced. “Really? I’m inclined to think it’s better to tell Alan how it’s going to be.”
I tightened my lips to keep from laughing. I was only ribbing him. The gravity he gave to what he thought my dad’s reaction to our news would be was too delicious not to have fun with. Somehow, I’d not seen it before, but the proof was written on Damon’s face that there was a major alpha-male war going on between him and my dad.
“Jeez Louise, and here I was counting on you to make our case to my parents,” I announced, shaking my head as though disappointed. “That is what you wanted in the bedroom, right? The reason for all that insulting discussion. You want me to let you handle telling my parents we’re moving out?”
“It’s nice to know we’re on the same page, because that’s exactly what I intend to do.”
“Really? Your anxiety is practically through the roof, and we’re not even home yet. On second thought, you should let me handle everything once we’re home.”
He gave me the look. “Not funny, Khloe.”
“It’s clear you don’t know how to handle my dad.” I frowned at him. “My dad is the sweetest, most easy-going man there is. He treats everyone wonderfully, Damon. If he’s giving you a hard time, you must have done something to him.”
His eyes widened in disbelief. “That’s not even close to accurate. I’ve done nothing. I didn’t have to. Your father is very different with me than he is with you.”
“Rubbish. None of my brothers-in-law have had issues with him. They all get along great. He just rolls with what they tell him and never gets up in their business.”
“If you believe that, you haven’t spoken at length with either Bobby or Jake.”
“Do you want some advice?”
“No. I need to find my own good stride with your father. Things will work out better all around once I’ve achieved that.”
Own good stride? Damon-speak: absurd and panty-meltingly adorable rolling from his lips. As I stared up at him, I wondered how he could say something so odd and still be so sexy. “It’s going to be all right, Damon,” I whispered reassuringly. “My money is on you.”
“You should say your money is on us. We’re on the same side in this.” He covered my hand with his. “No matter what happens with your parents, it won’t change that I love you, you love me, and we’re ready to start our life together. It’s getting out of your father’s house with you that I’m not looking forward to.”
That made me smile, too full of love and happiness to spare another mome
nt worrying about anything. “No matter what, Damon, same side always. It’s a promise. Even if we have to hire Cody and those five men whose names you won’t tell me to rescue us from Pacific Palisades, we’re moving to Wyoming. Nothing is going to stop us. Not now.”
“Wyoming?” I heard from the front seat and found Cody staring at me from the rearview.
Damn it.
I’d forgotten he was there.
Me and my big mouth.
I didn’t want to have this discussion with Cody tonight. It wasn’t because I didn’t share everything going on in my life with Cody—I did—and it wasn’t because I thought he’d object—well, not for long—but because I knew he’d be bummed to have to be away from Gideon even for a short while, and that made it a discussion better to be had in the morning.
“Is that why you wanted me to get winter gear?” he prodded.
Biting my lower lip, I nodded.
“How long do you plan on staying there?”
I shrugged.
Cody stared at me, I stared back, and then his gaze shifted to Damon. “How long am I going to be in Wyoming?”
“We’re moving there permanently,” Damon informed him. “But I don’t think you’ll need to stay more than a week there. Just however long it takes you to get my security team up to speed on your concerns for Khloe.”
Cody frowned. “You mean you’re not only taking my best friend away from me, I’m out of a job, too?”
“Cody, it’s not like that,” I gushed anxiously. “I could never ask you to move away from Gideon.”
“When did you decide this, Khloe?”
“Today. I was going to tell you in the morning.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“Jeez, Louise, I’m moving with my fiancé. It’s nothing to get mad at me about. You know, you could be happy for me.”
“I am. But I’m bummed for me.”
I pouted. “It’s not like we won’t be friends anymore. Nothing changed when you moved from my parents’ estate to live with Gideon.”
“It was in the same town, Khloe. Not much of a change.”
