by Susan Ward
“Jackson Hole is only a two-hour flight. You can visit anytime you want.”
“If I’m invited,” he grumbled, hitting the button to open the gate to my house. “You seem to keep me out of the loop on a lot of things since you got together with Damon.”
Oh, that wasn’t fair. “You know darn well you’ll be invited. Here’s your invitation now so that there’s no future confusion. It’s standing and forever. Need I say more? Stop being a Debbie Downer. I didn’t get angry with you when you took off with Gideon and Doctors Without Borders without telling me first. You disappeared for an entire year. It was awful for me not having you here, but I was happy you and Gid finally got together.”
“That was different. Gideon was putting himself in a dangerous place to save people. I couldn’t let him go it alone.”
“Well, I can’t let my fiancé go it alone. And our life is in Wyoming. Be happy for us, and if you’re not, don’t say it. No one is going to change my mind about leaving with Damon.”
His head tilted, and his jaw tightened.
He lapsed into silence and focused on the road.
The SUV rolled to a stop.
Once Cody alighted from the car, I glanced up at Damon. How his eyes glimmered pushed out the bad taste left by Cody’s uncharacteristic lack of support and left only good feelings in me.
Damon kissed my brow. “Cody doesn’t really object to our plans, love. He cares about you and doesn’t want to miss you. But thank you for spiritedly defending our decision. It had to be hard for you. I know you don’t like having disagreements with Cody.”
“He’s my best friend.”
“And a good one. He’ll come around.”
The car door opened, and I wriggled free from Damon. Cody stood in the driveway, waiting for me to climb out. His face was turned slightly away, and he was staring out across the front lawn and wouldn’t look at me.
“Is this how it’s going to be between us now?” I asked, standing close to Cody.
Nothing. He was like one of those guards at Deverell Palace as he waited for Damon to alight the back seat.
I exhaled heavily. “Fine, be that way. You won’t stay mad at me forever. You never do. You love me too much to be angry more than a day or two.”
Damon came out of the car and took my hand. “Good night, Cody. I’ll ring you in the morning with more complete details.”
Once we were walking toward the front door, Cody said, “Hey, Khloe.” For a beat, I didn’t turn back, then Damon squeezed my hand, and I did. “How you were with me in the car. Be that way with your parents. Damon’s right. Alan’s not going to agree to this without a fight. Don’t forget to have your man’s back in there, okay?”
Oh, Cody. My friend was being my bestie again. I nodded.
“And Damon,” he added. “You haven’t a clue how to deal with this family. It’s Chrissie you’ve got to win over. Get Khloe’s mom on board with you two moving to Wyoming, and Alan won’t say shit. Because—”
“What Chrissie wants,” I interrupted with my half of the family motto.
“Chrissie gets.” Cody finished his line in a British accent like my dad’s before climbing back into the SUV.
WHEN WE REACHED THE KITCHEN, my parents weren’t there, though I half expected them to be. Only Lourdes greeted us.
I looked at the clock. It was after 9:00 p.m. “My mom and dad haven’t come in from the cliffs?”
“No, chica,” Lourdes said.
My brows went up. Lourdes sounded like she always did and didn’t even look at me but continued cleaning up the dinner mess. If there was an impending emotional storm with my parents, our housekeeper wouldn’t have been calm.
Damon glanced at me. “All that worry for nothing,” he said reassuringly.
His smile made me so happy I felt like I was floating on air. His amber eyes were bright, and he looked perfectly in command. Some of that had to do with our discussion in the car, and some of it came from our hours alone together at the beach house, but a lot of it came from how right we felt together, both in and out of bed.
It amazed me that such a man was as tangled up in me as I was in him. Damon was a greater force than any man I’d ever known. Self-possessed and gentle, kind and generous, brilliant and fun. Who he was left me in awe most days, and today was no exception.
“Love,” he said, “why don’t you go to bed and let me talk to your parents alone? You look tired.”
My brows hitched up. “No. We’re supposed to be a united front when we speak to my family. Always on the same side. Remember?”
“That is me being on the same side.” He eased me up against his chest. “Me taking care of you and you letting me. Us putting us first always. You started it with the beach house, and I’m continuing it now. You look like you’re about to drop on your feet, Khloe.”
“But…but—”
He hushed me with a finger against my lips. I was exhausted, but never once did it cross my mind to let Damon go it alone on the cliffs with my folks.
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
I gazed up at him, surprised. “Of course I do!”
“Then do what’s best for us: Go to bed, and let me talk man to man with your father.”
Something shifted over his features too quickly for me to discern it. “I don’t want you to have to deal with my issue on your own. You don’t know how rough it can be talking about my health with my parents.”
“I won’t be alone. You’re always with me, KK, whether you’re there or not. Everything I say and do, I do for you and us.”
I wasn’t sure if I should relent.
But he seemed so determined.
I sighed, “Fine, Damon. But if you’re out there on the cliffs more than thirty minutes, that’s my cue that this was a mistake and to come bail you out.”
His laughter vibrated down my throat as he kissed me. “I won’t need bailing out. I love you, Khloe. Now go to bed.”
Chapter Seven
Damon
The Past
I POURED MYSELF A SCOTCH and stepped out onto the back patio. By the time I reached the edge of the lawn, I felt a bit guilty. I didn’t like not being totally honest with Khloe, not even when it served a greater good—like the well-being of us and her parents.
As I strode down the lit pavement toward the cliffs, I thought about all I’d witnessed since Christmas and how best to help the woman I loved. I envied how they were as a family, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t see which aspects weren’t working well, like the things they did to protect each other—which often accomplished the opposite—or how codependent Khloe’s illness had made them.
I considered my involvement to be the fresh perspective the family needed. An opportunity to break out of the bad routines, to enhance the things they shared that worked well, and to provide a balance to the rather extreme way they were interconnected.
Inside my head, I grimaced. Was I searching for a way to rationalize having been dishonest with Khloe? Had I gone a bit too far in my attempt to build some boundaries around our relationship with her family? Or was I trying to justify overstepping my role as her fiancé?
My musings didn’t sit well with me, even if it was too late to change what I’d done. I spotted Alan and Chrissie sitting together on a single lounger near the cliffs, just as I expected them to be. Mustering a smile, I crossed the grass toward them.
I settled on a chair beside their lounger. “I’m sorry it’s so late. Khloe wanted to take a drive after receiving her medical report. I think she needed to decompress a bit, and we lost track.”
“We understand,” Chrissie said, her bright blue eyes wide and searching my face. “Thank you for calling us earlier and letting us know how the appointment went.”
“I would have rung earlier if I could have.” I’d had to wait until Khloe fell asleep at the beach house before I could slip from the bedroom to ring Alan.
“How’s our baby gi
rl taking the news?” Alan asked, worried. “Khloe must have been devastated by what Dr. Hern told her.”
“Brave face, like always,” I said. “But Dr. Hern’s report hit her hard, even if she pretended it didn’t. I don’t think she expected to be told she was out of options other than the transplant. I’m reasonably confident that was the last thing she expected to hear. And it was exactly as you warned it would be, Chrissie. Smilingly showing me the door should I want to bow out now. Followed by making jokes about it with Cody and not even a tear in her eyes. Then full-blown panic over sharing her results with you two. An entire day without a single word about how she felt about any of it.”
Chrissie’s lips tightened into a downward line. “That’s Khloe. No matter how hard her illness gets, no matter how we try to make it otherwise, she worries more about us than herself. She’s been that way since she was fourteen. I can’t imagine how heavy a burden that’s been for her. Worrying about everyone in the family when she has so much to worry over for herself.”
“She loves you all,” I said. “It’s natural that she’s concerned about how her prognosis impacts you. But it is a burden we need to lift for her a bit, especially now when there’s nothing left but to wait for a transplant, don’t you agree?”
Alan’s black gaze sharpened. “I take it you’re still planning to move with Khloe to Wyoming?”
“Yes,” I replied calmly, bobbing my chin. The news was no surprise to them; I’d discussed this with them just the day before. “We’re going to leave as quickly as Khloe can manage it. After going to the clinic with her, I’m more confident than ever it’s the right choice. If we remain here until she gets a heart, she’ll pass it waiting, worrying about the family, dwelling on the negative of her situation, and completely closed up over what she’s really feeling about her circumstance. On the ranch, everything will be new, interesting, and we can begin building our life together instead of being trapped here on the estate in limbo with only our fears. I don’t want her walling me out of this or her giving up hope. Not ever. It’s been a hard fight for her, and I’m not sure how much longer she has in her to continue fighting. It’s my fear that if we remain here, she might give up if the transplant registry should take too long. She needs something to focus on other than the cancer.”
Alan’s intense black stare locked on me, and I braced myself for another round of his opinion of this matter. Broaching the subject of moving out hadn’t gone smoothly the day before; I expected it to be a more spirited discussion on the heels of such heartbreaking news.
“I love her, Alan,” I murmured quietly, unwaveringly meeting his gaze. “You want what’s best for her. But try to remember I do, too.”
Chrissie sprang to her feet. “Of course you do.” She surrounded me with her arms and lay her cheek on my head. “Stay strong for her, Damon. Waiting is harder than you think. You’ve not had to do it before. We’ve had nine years of disappointments and waiting. But Khloe has, too. Try to remember, when things get toughest, that only love keeps someone alive.”
“If the measure of how much I love her is any indication, then she’ll be with us until she’s old and gray,” I choked out through the lump in my throat.
Chrissie made a soggy laugh. “I’ve never doubted that once, Damon. Don’t you either. Do what you think best, and we’ll support and be herefor the both of you.”
Abruptly she released me and hurried toward the house, her face lowered and her hands briskly wiping her cheeks. I hadn’t meant to make her cry.
Heavy silence turned the air between Alan and me crushing. His expression was austere and inscrutable as he gazed out across the Pacific.
“Your wife is an extraordinary woman,” I said, unsure how to proceed now that we were alone. My relationship with Alan was often contentious.
“Yes, she is, but Chrissie can’t take much more either. Don’t forget that, Damon. Don’t push my wife more than she can manage.”
“Never, sir. I’m very fond of Chrissie. Of you both.”
He grew quiet again, pensive, and after a few minutes, he asked, “Have you decided on that other matter we discussed?”
“Yes. I think it’s a very good idea given all I heard from Dr. Hern.”
Alan set down his glass and stood up. “I’ll speak to Cody in the morning.”
“No, sir.” I stood up. “I’ll speak to him. You have done enough for me already.”
“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my daughter.”
I nodded gravely, but inside my gut churned. I couldn’t understand why he hadn’t gotten Khloe a heart any way he could. He didn’t seem the type of man who wouldn’t take matters into his own hands, and if I’d been a billionaire and as powerful as Alan Manzone was, there’d be no limit to how far I’d go to get a transplant for her. If I believed my father, the King, would have helped, I’d have crawled on my belly to him. Surely with Alan’s money and power, he could have resolved this quicker than the transplant registry. It was mind-boggling to me that he hadn’t.
“There are other ways than the registry,” I suggested carefully, aware that what I was asking was illegal. “You must know someone who could be of assistance with purchasing—”
My words died when Alan’s gaze rocketed back to my face. He stared at me, emotionless, unreadable, his black eyes glowing. Without another word, he left the cliffs.
WHEN I ENTERED OUR room, Khloe was curled in a ball, fast asleep in the center of the bed. I stopped close to her and quietly undressed as I studied her face. There were blotches on her face—she’d waited to be away from me before she’d allowed herself to cry—and it felt like barbed wire cut into my heart.
I wanted to be everything she needed me to be. Her anchor in every storm and the one person she opened up to completely. Clearly, I’d somehow failed her.
I wondered if she’d passed the minutes waiting for me by sharing her true feelings with Cody over the phone. I wanted all of her, whatever it brought us. The good, the bad, the wonderful, and the hard times like today. I didn’t want to be another person she shouldered the burden of protecting.
I turned off the light, carefully slipped beneath the sheets, and gathered her in my arms.
She stirred, and her lids half opened. “You were gone a long time. Is everything all right? Or do I have a ton to fix in the morning?”
I made your mum cry—didn’t want that.
I offended your father—really didn’t want that.
“Everything’s fine, love.” I buried my lips into the scarf she wore to sleep in. “We can start packing whenever you’re ready to. Next stop, our own house.”
“Really? Just like that, you tell my parents about what happened at the clinic and how it’s going to be, and my folks are fine and just say ‘move out’?”
“Just like that.”
“And my parents, they’re OK?”
“They’re very strong people, Khloe. You don’t have to worry about them. They want what’s best for you.”
She made a drowsy smile. “They’re the best parents ever, Damon, but I almost can’t get my head around this. They’re letting me move out without an argument. I expected it to take at least a week to get my mother to agree. You did tell her that we were moving to Wyoming, right?”
“Yes, and no argument.”
“Yikes,” she teased, and for the first time, I realized she used her little jokes not only to hide her feelings but to chase away her own insecurities. It occurred to me that because of her illness, she’d never contemplated having a home anywhere except with her parents. “There’ll be no one on the other side of the wall, Damon. Whatever will we do?”
Laughing, I cuddled her closer into me. “Love each other, Khloe. That’s all there is for us to do.”
“Bossy now that you think you’re in charge,” she chided in a breathy whisper.
“You’re the boss of me, and you damn well know it.”
She laughed. “Yep, I do.” And
she quickly drifted back to sleep.
I closed my eyes to hold back my tears and stayed awake waiting for the dawn: the mark of a new day and infinite possibilities.
Chapter Eight
Khloe
The Past
I STARED AT MYSELF IN the mirror, unable to contain my jubilation. I wore an ear-to-ear smile as I witnessed the miracle of being off all treatments for two weeks.
“I told you it was coming back already,” Damon said, standing behind me at the bathroom vanity and peeking over my shoulder at my reflection. “You look stunning today.”
“Stunning?” I rolled my eyes. “Your standards have gotten pretty darn low, Damon Saxe, if you call this stunning. You’ve been isolated from the world too long, and I need to add that to my list of positive reasons to move to your ranch with you. In Wyoming you won’t be surrounded by beautiful girls, just like here, trapped on my parents’ estate. I will always be the beauty in the room. Limited competition takes the pressure off. I like that.”
He made a face because of the jokes, then his arms slipped around my waist. “You are always the beauty in the room, KK. Don’t fish for compliments. And I don’t have any desire to look at beautiful girls. Got my own, and she’s barmy enough to move to the middle of nowhere with me.”
This time I didn’t argue with him and leaned back against his chest. There was no reason to argue. I did look different—in a good way—and it was more than only how happy I was.
There was color in my cheeks. I’d added a bit of weight—which was far from a bad thing—and if my eyes weren’t deceiving me, that was my own shiny black hair—barely stubble, true—on my scalp again. It wouldn’t be long until I had a real head of hair not woven together into a wig made from my sisters’ curls.
Each subtle change that greeted me this morning I took as a positive sign we were doing the right thing leaving Pacific Palisades. It was as if my body had chimed in overnight, a blast of reassurance not to let my small fears ruin the adventure of us.
And that’s what Damon’s ranch was: the start of the adventure of us. I didn’t know how long we’d be there or where we would go after Wyoming, but it didn’t matter. I would be with Damon, and that was all that mattered.
