The Titan Drowns

by Nhys Glover

Chapter Twenty

  Eilish

  Friday, 12 April 1912, TITANIC

  After a filling breakfast of porridge, ham and eggs, fresh bread and marmalade, and several strong cups of coffee, the eight of them roamed the decks until they were given permission to go below to their cabin. The young lad who was their steward was friendly, helpful and quick to let them know when inspection was over so they could return.

  Once in cabin 107, two people sitting on each bunk, the meeting started.

  ‘First, I received word just a few minutes ago from Teddy, our steward, that Eilish is needed up in first class. They have located another pregnant woman, a recently wed lady, it would seem. The guys aren’t sure how to handle it,’ Jac started.

  Eilish felt her heart lift. Finally, she was going to get to see Max again and she had a legitimate reason to do so. ‘When will I go?’

  ‘The note said for dinner. How can you have dinner up there? You’ll stand out like a sore thumb with those upper-crust elite.’

  ‘Max has one of my dresses. I will look well enough and we will dine in the À la Carte Restaurant away from the bulk of the elite.’

  ‘Good enough. The note said they will invite the young couple to join them for dinner. It seems Carter, Hugo, Finn and Jean Pierre will be joining you.’

  ‘Excellent. It will give me a chance to find out how things are going with them. I am assuming they are all on board, so to speak.’ There was a titter of amusement around the group.

  ‘Right, then that is sorted. Cara, what were the results of your trip to second last night?’

  ‘Good. Karl had laid the groundwork with three of the ladies and also discovered the stewardess is pregnant. It’s a regular breeding ground up there! I took them all aside in Karl’s stateroom and laid it out for them. I think some are still a little shell-shocked, but I think I've convinced them that it’s worth considering if the alternative is death. Karl will handle any questions they might have and as Lucy will be with us; it will make it easier getting them all to the extraction point, wherever that might be.’ She gave Luke and Julio a playful glare. They all knew the men had been scouring the ship for a suitable spot but were still undecided about the exact extraction point.

  ‘Oh, and just a little grist for the gossip mill – our doctor has fallen foul of the love bug. He's down with it bad and I couldn’t be happier.’

  ‘Cruel woman,’ Jac said with a smile. ’Who’s the lucky girl?’

  ‘One of the pregnant ladies, luckily; otherwise, it might be a bit dicey bringing her along.’

  ‘Why can’t we rescue a few worthy individuals? It is not fair that we are only Targeting pregnant women and children! It’s prejudice!’ Pia exploded vehemently, before collapsing into a horrified little ball.

  ‘Not you, too?’ Jane announced with a chuckle. ‘Who is he? One of the Swedes?’

  ‘No. It is no one. I just meant… it is not fair that we leave good, decent people here when we have it in our power to save them!’ Pia was almost in tears and the others exchanged troubled looks.

  ‘Marco,’ Bart provided with a grin, as he threw a ball of squashed up paper from one hand to the other. ‘It’s Marco. He helped me yesterday. He likes Pia.’

  ‘He doesn’t!’ Pia interrupted quickly, but her tone made a lie of her words.

  ‘He helped Bart, I say he deserves a place with us,’ Luke said firmly, giving the fair boy at his side a gentle shove so he was put off his next catch. The boy scowled good-naturedly at his father as Luke went on as if nothing had happened. ‘And I’d like to bring in a couple more stewards other than this pregnant girl for logistical purposes. Our steward is a good kid, bright and flexible. He’ll do well in New Atlantis. And he can run resistance when we’re trying to get the kids where we need ‘em. If we have a few coming down from first, then we might need one of theirs as well.’

  ‘I concur,’ Julio said. ‘One of the problems we are having with the extraction point is being too visible. If we have crew members with us, we have a legitimate reason to be wherever we are.’

  ‘Eilish, find out about a suitable steward while you are up in first tonight,’ Jac said. ‘And unless there is anyone who has a strong reason why we shouldn’t include this Italian waiter, speak up now or he’s in.’

  Eilish turned to look at Pia, curled up in a tight, anxious ball at the back of the bottom bunk across from her. The moment Jac gave his approval, her body relaxed and, if she wasn’t mistaken, let out a soft sob.

  She wasn’t mistaken, because Jane heard it too and drew the girl over and wrapped her arm around her. ‘Did you think we wouldn’t want him to come if he has your heart? Are any of us that cruel? Of course Marco will be with us. He is an open, adventuresome type; he'll probably make a great Retriever.’

  ‘I did not feel it was right to put him forward,’ Pia said with a sob. ‘I do not know what is wrong with me. I do not cry.’

  ‘Join the ever-expanding club, dear girl,’ Eilish said with a grimace. ‘You will get used to it after a while. I did not know what hit me in those first few days with Max. I still feel like I am someone else. Someone who is madly happy, and yet strangely distraught, when I am away from him.’

  ‘Sounds familiar,’ Julio put in, leaning down over the edge of the bunk so he could look at Jane and give Pia a little pat on the foot. ‘At least you have chosen someone who is almost as handsome as me. It shows you have good taste.’

  Jane kicked up with her foot and grazed the side of his impudent face. ‘He’s better looking than you, mate.' Her Australian accent suddenly more exaggerated. 'You’re lucky Pia saw him first or you might be missing a wife about now.’

  Pia gave a little sniffling laugh as Julio pulled an outraged face and tried to grab Jane’s long leg as her skirt rucked up to her thighs.

  ‘Play time is over children. We have more decisions to make.’ Jac called them back to order sternly.

  Julio disappeared back to the top bunk and Jane and Pia became suitably restrained. However, Eilish watched Pia’s face, and as the reality of the decision began to settle in, she began to glow. In that moment, she was every bit as beautiful as the girl who sat next to her. So this was what Pia had been missing all along. It was like she was shucking off a blanket of loneliness and distrust, and underneath, she was a bright, burning flame of quiet beauty.

  Eilish had only glimpsed Marco in passing that first morning, but if he had this effect on their girl then he was definitely worth Retrieving. All she hoped was that he felt for her what she obviously felt for him. Handsome men could be superficial, playing with the affection of women with no serious intent. It might be worth checking out just to be sure.

  ‘Right now, we have made contact with all the children and evaluated the parents. Eilish, your results?’

  ‘No go for the O’Halloran parents. They would not be happy with us and the little ones will be better off without them. They will be easy enough to separate from the parents, as that pair barely notice where their kids are half the time anyway. The O’Shea’s are different. She is lovely and I think she would make the shift successfully, if only to care for her children. Unfortunately, the father is a bigoted oaf and might cause problems if we took him. I am not sure the wife would go without him, though. Then there’s the young couple who we didn’t expect. She is about to drop any time. I think they are both suitable.’

  The list of possible candidates went on for some time, each person discussing those within their designated group.

  Finally Jac tallied up the list. ‘That’s sixty-five, including Freddy the steward from third, the six from second, and possibly six, including a steward from first and Marco. Did I miss anyone?’

  Everyone shook their heads.

  ‘Good, so that just leaves extraction. What are the possibilities at this stage, gentlemen?’

  ‘We need somewhere that's big enough to hold this number of people, that's easily accessible for all three classes and deserted at that time of night,' Luke said. 'We're c
onsidering an empty cargo hold on G Deck forward, but that'll be flooded shortly after impact, and as we have to wait till the ship stops before we activate the Portal, that might prove problematic. The squash court is another possibility. It's accessible to all classes, it's big enough and empty at that time of night. But it may begin to flood fairly quickly after the water-tight doors are closed. But, from the records, there may be a fifteen-minute leeway there. Worth considering.

  ‘Then there's the third class General Room. It's closed up early, although the next door smoking room stays open until eleven. We would need to get the key because it'll be locked up for the night and it isn’t easily accessible to the other classes. They would need to come down to E Deck, cross over into third and go up the aft stairs. Going across the decks is too chancy; especially after the ship hits. But I think we should have everyone inside and ready to go before the collision has occurred and the ship comes to a standstill. There are a few other possibilities, but at present none of them works well enough.’

  ‘What about the second class Dining Saloon? I was up there last night and access is easy. The room is locked up after dinner clean-up, which is by ten, but Lucy might be able to get us the key,’ suggested Cara.

  ‘I haven’t seen that area.’ Luke frowned as he thought. ‘We’ve mainly been focusing on third class areas, although the squash courts are technically first class but they're in the third class area of the ship. How easy is it to cross into second from third?’

  ‘One ‘crew only’ door next to the stairwell. Then it's just one flight up. At that time of night there'll be few people around.’

  ‘I think it is less likely to cause a stir if second and first passengers were found in third class than if a flock of third class children are seen in second.’ Eilish piped up. ‘These stewards are fanatical about the rules, except for a few odd ones here and there. If we run into stewards in second who see the kids and set up an alarm, we will not be able to quiet them down, with our own stewards running interference or not.’

  ‘Yes, I am inclined to agree,’ Jac said. ‘Look into second class Dining. Maybe get Karl’s evaluation, and maybe Lucy’s. But have a fall-back plan.’

  After a little more business, Jac called the meeting to an end. They all breathed a sigh of relief. It was a complex and problem-thwart mission, and they were all on tender-hooks because of it. Thinking about all the Ts that needed crossing was time-consuming and stressful, especially when life and death evaluations of possible Targets had to be included.

  ‘Right, then, we will convene again on Sunday morning for last-minute updates, changes, etc. But we have a plan, ladies and gentleman, and everything is going to plan so far. Let’s keep it that way. If Bart can stay out of the way of flying fists, we should be fine.’ Jac threw a cheeky grin at the lad sitting beside his father on the opposite bunk.

  The boy smiled back sheepishly, his makeshift ball finally coming to a standstill. ‘If he’d taken me on by himself, I’d have nailed him good. He cheated!’

  ‘Bullies do that. I thought you, of all people, would have realised that by now. Stay clear of them. And good job with the children. We would not be as far ahead with them as we are if not for you.’ Jac’s praise was like water to a drowning man. Bart lapped it up and Luke glowed with pride.

  Eilish was pleased that Jac had singled the boy out for praise. Sometimes it was easy to take Bart for granted; he was such a little professional. However, he was still a child, and needed the verbal approval of adults he respected, just so he felt he truly belonged.

  The meeting broke up and they all went to their posts. Eilish dawdled behind so she could have a quiet word with Pia as they walked back to their own cabin.

  ‘Are you all right now?’ she asked, as they closed the cabin door behind them. She didn’t want to intrude on the very private Pia, and yet she felt the need to share what was happening to her with a woman who might understand.

  ‘Yes, although I feel like someone who has just been given an undeserved gift and has no idea what to do with it.’

  ‘Why would you say undeserved? You have been an excellent Retriever in the last six years, everyone says so. Why should you not get to be happy when it is within our power to give that to you? He does feel the same way about you, doesn't he?’

  ‘I think so. He… he said he would stay in New York and court me and then take me to the Wild West when we married. It was quite a shock when he said that. He could have anyone he wanted, why would he so suddenly decide on me?’

  ‘Because you are pretty and sweet and there is something about you that men find appealing. I do not know what to call it, but it brings out the protectiveness in them. I have seen it work on our men, even though they are all taken.’

  ‘I do not want to be protected! I can look after myself.’

  ‘I know you can. It is the impression of vulnerability that is appealing, not the reality. Please do not take it the wrong way. I always seem to say the wrong thing to you. I am sorry. I just wanted to compare notes. I have never felt this way before. It is all very strange and unsettling. The men have been through it, Jac and Julio. But they are men and it is different for them; it has to be. I just wondered what it feels like for you.’

  Pia looked at her in astonishment. ‘You do not always say the wrong thing. You are very good with people, very good with your words. How could you think otherwise?’

  ‘You get all prickly sometimes. I just thought I offended you, somehow.’

  ‘Am I prickly? I do not mean to be. I am just used to my own company. I do not work well with others. I will try harder.’

  ‘No, don’t! Now I feel worse. You have nothing to try harder about. Look, forget it, this was a bad idea.’

  ‘No, please Eilish, I want to try. Let us sit down and I will try to put into words what I am feeling about Marco, about everything, because it is not just him. It is as if he has unlocked a long-dead part of me and now I am feeling in every area of my life and it is not all good.’

  They sat on opposite bunks and leaned in toward each other as Eilish replied ‘That is it. I know exactly what you mean. It is like a door has been unlocked, or a dam unblocked, and all these forgotten feelings pour out. And I do not know how to handle them anymore. I used to, as a child. But that is so long ago; I cannot recall. And of course the sexual feelings are totally new to me. I was prepubescent before the LGP. I never experienced sexual feelings in my Original.’ Eilish felt herself blush at the direction the conversation had taken.

  ‘I did. And I had sex quite often back then – I was even married for a while. But sex was nothing great. I think it was probably me. I just wasn’t into it that much. It was more that I thought I should be, because every girl I knew was. So I did it. And well... nothing really. That is what I am scared about with Marco. What if it is nothing with him too? I do not want to disappoint him. He is so experienced with women. If I am a cold fish, he might be turned off by me.’

  ‘Has he kissed you?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘What was that like?’

  ‘Scary and out of control.’

  ‘But good?’

  ‘Yes. I did not want him to stop. He is very good at what he does and I wish he was not so experienced.’

  ‘Max was not experienced at all. In fact, he was raised to think sex is dirty and bad so he had never even pleasured himself. It was the-blind-leading-the-blind with us. But at least I knew the theory, and the passion just exploded between us and did the rest. It is incredible and I am weak from wanting him twenty-four hours a day. It is madness, but good madness.’

  Pia was blushing at her frankness and Eilish felt she might have gone too far. But then the sweet, serious girl smiled shyly.

  ‘I feel like that too. I cannot think straight. My body is hot and sensitive, and if I accidentally touch it, a flash flood of pleasure washes over me. I couldn’t sleep last night. We were up on the deck until all hours under a blanket. And even though it was only one kiss, it felt world-sh
attering. And I had to get away because I thought he would have to be left behind and that we could never be together. Now… now I am happy and scared. I have to find some way to tell him, but I am not good with such things.’

  ‘Do not put yourself down so much. You are as good as any of us. Convincing people that we are time travellers from the future is not easy. The children are so much less trouble.’

  ‘Yes they are. Thank you.’

  ‘For what?’

  ‘Talking like this to me. I feel a little better about what is happening now. You see, I never thought I would meet someone I felt like this about. I thought I was too damaged. So when it did, I did not trust it. Now, hearing what it is like for you, I feel more confident to go with it.’

  ‘How are you damaged?’ Eilish asked gently.

  For a moment, she wondered whether Pia would reply. Then she gave a little nod, as if giving herself permission, and started to talk.

  ‘I was in my twenties when the LGP took place, living in a village in Norway that had been the home of my family for generations. It was once a thriving city, but by the end of the Dark Age it was not much more than a village of white wooden houses around the harbour side. When I woke up to find everyone dead, I thought I was alone in the world. Something broke inside me in those weeks before I was found. I do not even know what it was that broke.

  ‘I felt rejected. That sounds wrong, but that was what it was like; as if I was left out of something that everyone else had been included in. That I was not good enough even to join them in death. I wanted to kill myself, but I felt as if that would make me the uninvited guest at the party. I did not know what I had done to deserve my fate, but I decided it must have been something very bad to be so excluded. I went mad, I suppose, and never fully recovered. Even now I wake up each morning and my first thought is to check that there are others alive nearby.’

  ‘You are not alone in that last habit. One of the best things about sleeping with Max is that I am always aware of him there, alive beside me. I do not wake up with that fear anymore.’

  ‘You feel like that too?’ Pia’s face was a picture of stunned happiness, as if she had discovered a miracle.

  ‘Of course. I imagine many of us Old Timers feel that way. All of us woke up to find ourselves alone, Pia. You may have just been alone longer than the rest of us. For me, living in a city, I found the few other survivors pretty quickly. Faith told me that she was alone in her little fishing village until a man from another village up the coast passed by in his boat looking for survivors. Most of us do not talk about those times because they are still too painful to remember, but maybe that is wrong. Maybe if we talked about it more, we would realise that we are not as different as we think we are. And maybe we could let our ghosts finally sleep.’

  Pia’s eyes filled with tears and she brushed them away absently. ‘You might be right. I feel like a load has lifted off my shoulders just by telling you. I didn’t think anyone felt like me. Everyone seems to cope so well, even back then. It always felt like I was the only broken one.’

  ‘Not broken, just a little dented around the edges. Maybe now you can smooth out the dents and start to really live with Marco’s help.’

  The smile Pia gave her was like the sun breaking through on a cloudy day. She was radiant.