Welcome to Your Afterlife

by Stephanie Rabig

  "It's the Room of Souls," Renata said, pulling one of the wide doors open. Abbie ducked inside, staring in awe at the concentration of people. Most were ghosts, crowding around one of thousands of identical machines, staring at the display on the screens.

  "Come on," Renata said, motioning her toward a machine that didn't seem to have much of a line. Abbie watched, fascinated, as a ghost took his turn, sliding his hand into a slot at the front of the machine. Immediately, faces sprang into view onto the display screen, dozens of them.

  "They're who you have been," Renata said. "All the lives you've lived."

  "Ohhh wow," Abbie whispered, staring at the revolving faces on the screen until finally it was her turn in front of the monitor. She started to put her hand into the scanner, and then hesitated. "When you see their faces—do you remember?"

  Renata shook her head. "Most don't. Once in a while someone will catch a flash of memory, and in incredibly rare cases a soul will make it up to the surface with the ability to remember. But for most of us it's just a fascinating look back."

  Abbie slid her hand in, her gaze locked to the screen as about fifteen faces sprang into view. Both women and men, most of them elderly—good, so at least before she'd managed to make it past twenty-two. None were recognizable, which caused a slight flash of disappointment.

  Then again, she thought, we can't all be the reincarnation of Cleopatra.

  One face was an infant, a small brown-skinned child with wide, dark eyes. Another was a woman who had to be in her nineties at least, a wide grin on her face, and Abbie thought that she wouldn't mind meeting her.

  Of course, in a way, she was her. She just couldn't remember. There were lifetimes upon lifetimes here, skating at the edge of her memory.

  "This is so weird," she whispered, and quickly tugged her hand free. The faces disappeared. "Can I see yours?"

  Renata nodded, and placed her hand in the scanner. Three faces appeared.

  "Wow," Abbie whispered. "Guess I've chosen reincarnation a lot more than you have."

  "It isn't my favorite idea," Renata admitted. "It's ridiculous, I know."

  "No, it's not," Abbie said. "You shouldn't be lost."

  Renata blinked at her, something so sweet and beatific in her expression that Abbie quickly looked away, using the monitor as an excuse. She inspected the faces of who Renata used to be. They varied in age and color, but each person had kind eyes and a welcoming, friendly smile. And though she knew it was probably silly, Abbie felt certain in her heart that she could've trusted any one of these Renatas.

  Then Renata removed her hand, edging back so that the next person in line could come forward.

  "There's talk of trying to upgrade the machines," Renata said. "Give a name and a life history for every face. It might not help people actually remember, but it would be wonderful, I think, to see the patterns in all your lives laid out."

  "Yeah, it would," Abbie said. She wondered if she had always been ace, even back when there hadn't been a term for it. Wondered if she'd always had a confrontational relationship with her parents, with the people who were supposed to protect and cherish her above all else. Wondered if she always ended up caring for someone for whom her kind of love would never be enough.

  And you just got way too morbid for your own good, she thought. Time to go see about downloading half the Godiva factory.

  "I'll talk to you soon, then," Renata said. "Come to me if you need anything, all right?"

  "You got it."

  Renata

  She should be happy.

  She'd more than made up for her unexpected vacation, ushering soul after soul through their introduction to the underworld. Despite her break with Abbie, she should get high marks at the monthly evaluation today.

  Abbie hadn't been to see her once.

  Renata knew she should take that as a good sign. She'd done a fine job helping Abbie integrate, and now she didn't need her anymore.

  It was a good sign. So why did it break her heart every time she came home and didn't find Abbie waiting at the door for her?

  Abbie

  She should be happy.

  Every day, she spent maybe fifteen, twenty minutes in a bar or club or singles gathering, laughing at idiotic jokes and letting people take her hand or brush up against her body, and she came down with enough energy to make herself a favorite among the ghosts. She'd even gotten an invite to the monthly evaluations, which she hoped was good news. Maybe Odette had realized what a jackass she'd been—therapy? really?—and wanted to apologize.

  Or maybe they just wanted to say 'keep up the good work', in which case she'd hide her 'I want to bring you back to life again just so I can kill you' feelings behind a smile and then go back to the first library.

  It was her new goal, to make it through all the books she wanted to read in the first library and then just move on to the second, the third… after all, she had time.

  She just wished she had courage.

  For the first few days, she hadn't gone to see Renata because she hadn't wanted to seem pushy or stalkery. Then one of the guys she'd done some idle flirting with had yanked her close for a kiss, and she'd spent the next two days in her new room, energy or no energy. Now she wanted to go see Renata, but wasn't sure if she would be welcome. Yeah, Renata had told her to come to her if she needed anything, but she probably said that to everybody she showed around.

  Only one way to find out.

  After the meeting, she thought. That was supposed to start soon; she'd get done with that and then she'd go talk to Renata. Maybe she'd give her the brush off, but maybe—please, please, please—maybe she wouldn't.

  Abbie walked in to the meeting room and was immediately swarmed. She really needed to download a Back Off Or I'll Kick Your Ass type of shirt.

  Her grin was more like a baring-of-teeth, but she managed a few moments of small talk before a tiny woman—had to be Odette, Renata had told her she was in charge of the evaluation meetings—took a place at the podium in the middle of the room and cleared her throat.

  Immediately, conversation ceased.

  Wow, Abbie thought. Talk about owning a room.

  "Good afternoon," Odette said. "First, I will announce the top energy earners in each specialty. For vampires, we have—"

  Abbie barely listened. She'd seen Renata several feet away whispering to Maja. Neither of the women looked pleased.

  She wanted to go to them, ask what was going on, but she couldn't make her way through the crowd without bumping into a bunch of people and drawing attention to herself.

  "And for the succubi—Abigail Campos. Congratulations, my dear. You were not only the top earner among the succubi, but among all the workers. Your specialty will get to choose where the excess energy is funneled to this month." She motioned for her to come forward, and Abbie reluctantly did, stopping in front of the older woman.

  She fastened a tiny golden pin with the words 'Top Earner' to her shirt. "I earned seven of those myself back in my time," she said proudly. "Now just think of the energy you could earn once you start fully doing your job!"

  A few people chuckled, others reached out to pat her on the back.

  "I thought that was why I did so well at it," she said tightly. "Because I don't feel the need to… well, spend any energy, as it were."

  "Precisely! If you get so much energy from holding someone's hand, imagine what you could draw by going a little further." Abbie had thought she'd kept her face neutral, but something must have shown through, because Odette leaned closer, lowering her voice. "Think about what you could accomplish—for yourself, for all of us—with that energy. Don't be selfish, dear."

  Stunned into silence, Abbie just moved back off the podium, and Odette went on about which banshees had come up with the fastest orientation rate.

  Thing is, Odette was right, she thought bitterly. What was a kiss or two (or ten…) if she could fill the energy banks, help get those files on everyone's former lives and expand out people's rooms and
help gather in more permanently-physical copies of things so that newbies didn't have to waste valuable energy to temporarily download them?

  Except it would go from a few kisses to more than that, and more, until she was expected to do precisely what Maja did.

  Suddenly all Abbie could focus on was her first and only boyfriend, who'd frowned deeply when she'd tried to explain everything to him. In the end, he'd just given her a pleading look and asked if she could "just deal with it sometimes, y'know. For my sake".

  So maybe she was being selfish, she thought, heading for the rows upon rows of staircases. Fine. She'd be selfish.

  She just wished she could say goodbye to Renata.

  Abbie paused at the bottom of the steps, biting her lower lip.

  No. She couldn't tell her. As tempting as it was to go find Renata and do the whole "hey, run away with me" thing, she would go from being a respected, longstanding employee to getting hunted by reapers. Not exactly a step up in the world. Even telling her what she had planned would probably get her in trouble.

  Better for her to go up for her 'job' and just never come back.

  God, she was going to miss Renata.

  Well, she thought as she headed up the stairs, at least this way they would remember each other.

  Renata

  Renata headed out of the shoe room, a backpack slung over her shoulder. Liris, a fae who was almost as short as she was, eyed it curiously. "Been to one of the libraries?" she asked. "I took a haul like that out last week."

  "Actually, I'm getting some extra work done, and it's awful trying to carry that many folders just in your hands."

  "I don't know how you do it," Liris said, pulling her into a hug. "I mean, you did my orientation. Every other banshee who was there around that time has reincarnated."

  "Guess I'm just set in my ways."

  "Well, when you do decide to reincarnate, look me up first! I'd hate for you to leave without getting a chance to say bye."

  "You'll be the first one I call," Renata said. "Talk to you later, Liris."

  The fae nodded, and Renata smiled as she watched her skip away, the tiny bells on the toes of her shoes tinkling with each step.

  As soon as she'd realized Abbie was in attendance at the evaluation meeting, she'd known why. And she'd hoped, prayed, that Odette would just leave things as they were—tell Abbie that she was doing a fantastic job and to keep up the good work.

  She moved to the side of the hall, watching everyone pass her by, and pressed both hands to her chest. "To Abbie," she said, focusing on the other woman's face.

  Abbie

  She'd been scared before: woken up to find a spider dangling above her bed, had people jump out at her for Halloween pranks, and even let Aunt Kim convince her to go through a haunted house.

  But nothing, she decided, nothing compared to having a banshee pop up right in your fucking face. She nearly fell right back down the stairs."Goddammit, Renata," she gasped.

  "Sorry," she said. "What are you doing?" Her voice was all innocence, but there was knowledge in her eyes.

  Abbie sighed. "Look, I know you're going to argue, but—"

  "Yes, I am. You should have given me more notice. I barely had time to pack."

  "Wh… what?"

  "I'm coming with you," she said, and at Abbie's silence, her confident smile wobbled. "That is, if you want me to."

  "Are you kidding?" Abbie asked. "Of course I do!"

  "Oh. Oh, good," she said, the bright smile returning. "Got a pair of each type of shoes in my bag. If you don't want to be a succubus anymore, that's fine. You can figure out one of the others. And it's far past time I find out what else I can be."

  "Are you sure?" Abbie whispered, not opening the door just yet, and half-regretting her quick agreement to Renata's company. It would've been much, much safer for Renata if she'd just told her 'no thanks, I'm fine on my own'. She would've been upset for a little while, yeah, but at least Renata wouldn't be chased by reapers.

  But then that would make her no better than those idiots she was always yelling at in movies who hurt someone they loved 'for their own good'. Renata was an adult—well, more than an adult; one of these days she should ask how old she actually was—and fully capable of making her own choice here.

  Still…

  "Renata, if we're caught—"

  "Forcible reincarnation, I know. But I think we'll be fine." She smiled. "After all, I've been friends with reapers for years. I know what things they look for when tracking, their general search patterns. And even if I didn't have that advantage—I love you. Or at least I'm very sure I could," she amended, when Abbie gave her a panicked look.

  "But… you can't. I'm not—it's just the shoes," she said quietly. "All these people are looking at me now who wouldn't have dreamed of given me the time of day before."

  "I promise you, it's not the shoes," Renata said. "Underworld magic doesn't affect us that way."

  "But you're bi," she whispered. "Or pan, or—"

  "I'm bisexual," Renata said, still looking amused. Abbie wished she wouldn't. This wasn't funny, not at all. Sure, Renata thought she liked Abbie now, but once she realized that Abbie wasn't "asexual except in your case" that would change. It always did.

  "Exactly. Doesn't that mean you feel things toward more people than most? Would you really—I mean, be happy with someone who doesn't feel it at all?"

  "Bi just means I have more to choose from," Renata said. "Not that I can't choose."

  Abbie smiled, determined to not do something sappy like cry. Or at least not cry much. "So we just… after we open the door, we just walk away?"

  Renata nodded. "We'll have to move fast, though. Given your job record, if you're gone for more than twenty minutes it'll ping somebody's radar."

  "Guess we'll have to find shoes in there that are good for running, then," she said, smiling and giving Renata a tentative pat on the shoulder. Then she opened the door.

  FIN

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  When not writing, Stephanie can be found hanging out with her kids, making steampunk hats, or trying in vain to buy every pint of Ben & Jerry’s in the store. Loves include fairy tales, mythology, tea, chocolate, and The Avengers. Come say hi on Twitter at twitter.com/stephrabig, and keep an eye out for new projects at stephanierabig.weebly.com.