Tattoos & Tears (Complete Collection)

by Amiee Louise

  I’m so sorry

  Please call me I have to know you’re OK

  S xx

  I toss my phone on the sofa not wanting to be reminded of him. I put my earphones in and go out of the front door. Walking out into the street, the fresh air mixed with the beat of my iPod is a welcome distraction from the melee in my head. I start with a gentle jog around the block, and as soon as I hit my stride, I am pounding the pavement through Regent’s Park. The city seems so quiet at this early hour, and it is strangely calming. I run for what seems like an age before stopping near a bench to catch my breath. I bend to stretch my legs out.

  “Looks like we both had the same idea this morning, babe.”

  I look up to see Seb’s smiling face jogging towards me. He looks fresh for first thing in the morning, wearing long black shorts—highlighting his muscular, tattooed legs—a black sports jacket, a grey vest underneath and black Nike trainers. I am happy to see a friendly face. As soon as he stops inches away from me, I feel the overwhelming urge to blurt out what happened and break down in front of him. I take a breath of fresh morning air to quell the tears.

  “Yeah, I couldn’t sleep; I needed the distraction, to be honest, babe.”

  I plaster a fake grin on my face, and he laughs.

  “Last night … exhausting then?”

  I laugh and cock my eyebrow at Seb’s attempt at subtlety. You’re about as subtle as a sledgehammer, Henry!

  “Nothing happened, shockingly enough.”

  Seb looks concerned, and he brushes my arm.

  “Do you want to go for a coffee and talk about it, babe? Starbucks my shout?”

  As tempting as his invitation is, I know that if Seb finds out about what happened, he would want to go and rip Sam’s head clean off his shoulders. I don’t want to have to break up a fight between the men in my life.

  “No thanks, babe, I’ll see you at work in an hour or so.”

  Seb nods, and by the way he looks at me, I know he understands—he knows not to push me when I’m in one of my moods.

  “As long as you’re sure you’re OK, babe. You know I worry about you. You mean the world to me, and you’re like my baby sister.”

  We both smile. I’m grateful for his compassionate words, and that he feels so strongly towards me.

  “I’m fine, honey; we’ll chat properly when I get to the shop, I promise.”

  “See you later, darlin’.”

  With those words, he resumes his run, and I resume mine. I run for half an hour more and then make the twenty-five-minute journey back to the flat. Ruby is just emerging from her shower in her bathrobe as I let myself back into the flat.

  “Morning, babe, how are you feeling this morning?”

  I take a long pull on my bottle of water before I answer with a nod.

  “Yeah, I feel so fucking humiliated, and my ego feels like it has done ten rounds with Carl Froch. Other than that, I’m peachy fucking creamy.”

  Ruby looks at me sympathetically.

  “I’ve fallen so hard for him, Rubes. He’s everything that Callum isn’t. He’s … amazing, and I’ve gone and fucked it up royally.”

  She comes towards me and hugs me tightly. “If it’s meant to be, he’ll be the one chasing you by the end of the day. Listen to Aunty Ruby! I’m always right!”

  I can’t help but laugh. “Shut up, you tart!”

  I mimic a Cockney accent, and she throws a towel at me. I go into the bathroom for my morning shower. Half an hour later, I am showered and dressed, with my hair straightened and my make-up done.

  “Meet me for lunch?”

  Ruby asks me the same question every day, knowing that I always meet her for lunch, so I roll my eyes.

  “Yep, I’ll text you when I know my appointments.”

  We both leave the flat at the same time; she kisses me on the cheek and hugs me before bouncing down the stairwell in an unusually good mood.

  “Love ya.”

  I follow her at a leisurely pace, knowing that she probably got lucky with Jax last night. I brave the tube ride to the shop, crossing my fingers that my car will be repaired by tomorrow, so I don’t have to endure public transport for another day. I get to the shop in record time, and Seb is there as always with my usual cup of Starbucks coffee waiting for me.

  “Mornin’, honey bunny.” He winks.

  “Morning, pumpkin.”

  I go into the back of the shop, and there is a huge bunch of pink and purple orchids on the counter.

  Popping my head around the doorway, I tease Seb, “Who are the flowers for, babe? Who’s the lucky lady?”

  “Nothing to do with me, babe, came about half an hour ago. My guess is he’s got a lot of making up to do.”

  He cocks his eyebrow questioningly. I go to the counter and look at the card.

  Peyton,

  I’m so sorry about last night. I fucked up, please forgive me? Just so you know it changes nothing between us, I’m still crazy for you. Everyone is entitled to a past, and we all have secrets. We have a gig tonight, and I have put your name on the guest list, the info is on the back. Please say you’ll come? It starts at 7, call me.

  All my love

  S x

  What Sam said in the note brings the familiar butterflies from last night fluttering in my stomach. Could this really work between us? Me and Sam the rock star? Could he really handle my past and my hang-ups about trusting the opposite sex? I am suddenly more than willing to try to give it a go—the note brings my feelings flooding to the surface. I have fallen head over heels for this man. They say that love at first sight doesn’t exist but my faith in men has been restored, and it’s all thanks to him. Not that I plan to tell him anytime soon because of the fear of scaring him away. I bounce out into the shop, and Seb looks at me as if I have gone crazy.

  “I take it the flowers are a good sign then, babe?”

  I nod. “Yep, the world is a beautiful place, Seb.”

  I do my victory dance, and my mood is infectious as Seb gets up from his seat. He picks me up and spins me around.

  “I’m happy for you, babe.”

  When he sets me down, I pick up my coffee and take a long sip, welcoming the hot liquid as it slides down my throat.

  “So, what appointments do we have today?”

  He sits down at his desk and pulls out the appointment book.

  “No famous rock stars today, I’m afraid!”

  We both laugh.

  “Your first appointment is in half an hour, I’ve already set your station up for you, babe, just a small one apparently, so the girl said on the phone, and you’ve got three this afternoon.”

  I nod and smile, grateful for Seb’s thoughtfulness. I put my coffee down on the reception desk.

  “Give me a second, babe.”

  Seb salutes. “No rush, honey.”

  I go into the back of the shop, pull my phone out of my bag, and dial Sam’s number. He answers on the third ring.

  “Hello?”

  I pause. “Hey, Sam, it’s—”

  Before I have said my name, he jumps in.

  “Peyton. I take it that you got my flowers then?” His voice is husky and sounds like he has just woken up.

  “They’re lovely, thank you so much, you didn’t have to.”

  I hear the smile in his voice when he replies, “I wanted to make it up to you, babe.”

  I smile to myself and suddenly feel like I’m a teenager all over again.

  “Thank you. I’m so sorry about what happened last night.”

  It’s his turn to pause; he breathes audibly into the phone.

  “Don’t apologise, babe, it’s OK, really. We’ll talk more tonight, I promise. Are you coming to the gig?”

  I nod to myself and instantly scold myself for nodding, knowing he can’t see me.

  “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

  “That’s great, babe. Your name is on the guest list, just tell security at the door. Text me when you’re there, I’ll come and find you.”


  I smile so wide I feel my jaw starting to ache.

  “I’ll look forward to it.”

  “Me too, babe. I want to make up for last night so badly, maybe we can finish what we started.”

  He says those words so seductively, I immediately feel desire dripping between my legs. The effect this man has on me is uncontrollable and exciting all at the same time. For the first time in a long time, I finally feel alive.

  “Sounds … awesome.”

  He laughs.

  “Look, Sam, I’ve got an appointment in twenty minutes, so I should go, but I’ll definitely see you at the gig tonight.”

  “Yep, see you at seven, babe.”

  “Bye, Sam.”

  I press the end call button by swiping my finger across the screen. I quickly fire across a text to Ruby with my appointments, put my phone away, go back out into the shop, and prepare for the day ahead.

  ***

  My morning of tattooing goes by quickly, and before I know it, the door to the shop is opening. Ruby struts in, her heels clicking across the floor.

  “Hey, Seb. Hey, babe,” she says in her familiar singsong voice. I am just wiping down my station after my relatively short and small tattoo session—a small pair of angel wings on the back of a girls neck.

  “Are you ready for lunch? I’m bloody starving. Isaac has been in a meeting in the city since nine this morning and isn’t due to finish until well after three, so we’ve got time to catch up, babe.”

  I laugh.

  “Taking advantage of the bosses’ kind nature again, babe? You’ll have that promotion in no time!” I joke. She laughs and raises her eyebrows.

  “Sooner than you think, honey.”

  She winks, and I know what she is referring to. I roll my eyes.

  “I have to be back here by one thirty, babe. My next appointment.”

  It’s Ruby’s turn to roll her eyes, and she salutes. “Yes ma’am!”

  I slap her playfully on her arm and skip into the back of the shop. I wash my hands in the sink, dry them on a towel, then grab my bag and coat before heading back out into the shop.

  “I’m going to lunch, Seb.”

  He nods. “Grab me something, please, babe? The usual?”

  I nod. “Yep, no problem, see you in a bit.”

  Ruby and I walk the five-minute journey to Swingin’ Eli’s. Eli is behind the counter with his familiar smile, our drink order ready, and writes down our regular order. We go to our usual table and sit down opposite each other.

  “So, are you going to tell me what the fuck happened between you and Sam last night?”

  Typical Ruby, straight for the gossip jugular. I hang my head.

  “I fucked up, babe, totally. We had dinner, and we started talking exes.”

  She shakes her head disapprovingly as she is sucking her strawberry milkshake through a straw.

  “First date rule, Peyton: never talk about exes. Have I taught you nothing?” she says dramatically.

  Sighing, I say, “I know, he was the one who brought it up, and then he’s asking who hurt me because he could see ‘pain behind my eyes’.”

  “Oh, please!”

  “I told him about Cal and the baby—it kind of all just came tumbling out. He was telling me about his ex, and then things started to … get a little heated in the middle of the restaurant.”

  Ruby almost chokes on her milkshake. “Fucking hell, Peyton! In public? Hi-five!”

  “It just kind of happened, but we got interrupted by the waiter.”

  She laughs hysterically. “Oh my God! How embarrassing!”

  My face heats at the memory. “I know, I was fucking mortified! Anyway, we skipped dessert and went back to ours. There’s something about him, Rubes, and he is making me break all my rules. Before we’ve even got inside the flat he is pinning me to the wall, and things are getting heated between us. Then he carried me to my room, and we collapsed on the bed.”

  Ruby is across the table leaning on her hands, listening intently and eagerly waiting for me to finish the story.

  “Did you fuck him?”

  Now it’s my turn to almost choke. “No! I fucking panicked and ran to the bathroom. I needed a minute.”

  She rolls her eyes again. “You needed a minute? Wow, fucking hell, Peyton, you had the perfect opportunity to screw him; he was practically sprawled out naked on your bed waiting for you to rock his world.”

  Way to make me feel bad, Ruby, thanks!

  “I know, I just panicked, and by the time I got myself together, he is in my room picking up my journal and the picture of Callum and me falls out along with our scan picture.”

  Her mouth drops open. “Why the fuck have you even still got those? I thought you burnt it all?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t know, he picked them up from the floor, and before I know what I’m doing I’m telling him to leave!”

  Ruby tuts. “Oh, my fucking God. Are you completely insane?”

  I nod. “Apparently so. I screwed up so badly, Rubes. I’m telling him to leave, and he’s point blank refusing, begging me to talk to him and that’s when you walked in.”

  She leans back in her chair. “Have you heard from him since?”

  I smile shyly. “Yeah, he sent me flowers this morning and wrote me a note.”

  I pass the card across the table to her, and she reads it then breaks out into a grin.

  “Aww, he is definitely still interested then. Are you going to go to the gig?”

  I nod and swiftly change the subject. “So, what happened with you and Jax? How did the date go?”

  It’s her turn to be coy. As she goes to answer, our lunch arrives. We tuck in straight away, and my rumbling stomach reminds me how hungry I actually am.

  “He took me for dinner; I sucked him off under the table in the restaurant and fucked him in a toilet cubicle.”

  I cough loudly and almost choke on a mouthful of food. “Ruby!”

  She giggles. “I wasn’t going to be just another groupie whore, babe; I fucked him first before he could fuck me over. Plain and simple, play him at his own game, and he’s been constantly calling me this morning, leaving messages practically begging to see me again.”

  I laugh. Ruby has taken to dating like men do—she got it from an episode of Sex and the City. It usually works, and they always, without fail, call her practically pleading to see her again. Sounds like it has worked yet again with Jax.

  “Are you going to see him again?”

  She smiles coyly. “Hell yeah, I’m coming to the gig tonight, we can be each other’s wing woman!”

  I laugh at her Top Gun reference. She winks, and my shoulders visibly relax knowing I’ll have some moral support at the gig later. We carry on gossiping over lunch, settle the bill, and head back to work soon after we finish. I get back to the shop and the afternoon tattoo session flies by in an endless flow of ink. Before I know it, I’m looking up at the clock, and it’s time to go home.

  “Good job today, babe, you make me so proud to have you working with me. We make an awesome team.”

  Seb’s words warm me inside, and I hug him tenderly. “Thanks, Seb.”

  I smile, and he pulls away first.

  “Go home, you silly tart. I’ll break your station down!”

  We both laugh. I skip to the back, and my phone is ringing.

  “Hello?”

  I scream down the phone, and I am jumping around at the news. Seb comes running to the back.

  “Peyton, are you OK?”

  I nod.

  “Yep, my car is fixed, no more tube rides.”

  I do a little victory dance. Seb visibly relaxes and smiles at my childish excitement.

  “Thank fuck. I thought something was wrong. You nearly gave me a bloody heart attack, you silly tart!”

  “Sorry, babe, I’m just so excited to get her back, it’s been a long time coming.”