Tattoos & Tears (Complete Collection)

by Amiee Louise

  “Say something then, babe.” I smiled but as he got to his feet, my smile faded.

  “Fuck me, what the fucking fuck were you thinking? We’ve always been careful, how the— Have you done this to trap me? Is that it? Our relationship is on the brink of ending so what, you stopped taking the pill? Please enlighten me, Peyton, because I don’t fucking understand.”

  “Callum, I’m carrying your baby, and you’re accusing me of trying to trap you? Believe me, I’m as shocked as you are.”

  I pulled the scan picture out of my bag and showed it to him.

  “Look, this is our baby. Look, Callum.”

  I grabbed his face between my hands and forced him to look at the picture in front of him. He glanced at the scan briefly and shoved me away.

  “Get the fuck away from me, Peyton. I really can’t be around you right now.”

  I stood in his living room with my mouth hanging open. I actually couldn’t believe his reaction. Following him into the kitchen, I cried, “Don’t fucking walk away from me, Callum. I’ve got your baby growing inside me.”

  I grabbed his hand and placed it on my growing bump. He snatched it away as if I was on fire.

  “You’ve got no idea at all, Peyton; I’m not fucking ready to be a dad. I can barely look after myself. Work is busier than ever, you’re busy with the shop. Maybe it’s not the right time for us to bring a baby into the world.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him as he leaned over the worktop.

  “Maybe you should consider … you know …”

  I shook my head and something about the tone his voice instantly made me know what he was about to say. But I feigned ignorance, wanting to hear him say the words.

  “No, I don’t know, Cal.”

  He glanced at me. “A … termination.”

  My eyes widened in shock at his admission.

  “I can’t believe you just fucking said that, Callum, this isn’t just your baby. I’m three months pregnant, he or she is a part of me now, and I can’t just get rid of it because it’s an inconvenience for you.” My voice grew shaky and my eyes glazed over.

  “Don’t lay a guilt trip on me, Peyton. I’m really not in the mood right now,” he spit out, and I grabbed his arm.

  “Well, tough shit, I don’t give a fuck that you’re not in the mood, we’re going to talk about this whether you like it or not.”

  He snatched his arm from my grip. “I said I can’t fucking deal with this now, Peyton. Anyway, how do I know you haven’t been shagging someone else? Seb, for instance. How can I be sure it’s even mine?” he raised his voice a few decibels louder and a look of pure disgust formed on his face. I looked at him open-mouthed.

  “Here we fucking go again. For the millionth time, I’m not sleeping with Seb. He is my boss for God’s sake. This baby is definitely yours, and I’ll take a DNA test to prove it if I have to. You’re being pathetic and childish as usual. You need to fucking grow up and take responsibility for once in your God damn life, Callum,” I screamed at him. I could feel the anger burning inside me. He slammed his hand down on the worktop, and I jumped at the sound.

  “Take responsibility. That’s rich coming from you. You’re what … three months pregnant? Why the fuck am I only just hearing about it now?”

  I hung my head, knowing he had a point.

  “I don’t know I-I was fucking scared of how you’d react, and I was right, wasn’t I? I expected you to at least be happy.”

  A tear rolled down my cheek.

  “Happy? How the fuck can I be happy? I’m … Christ, I don’t know what I’m feeling right now. When you showed me the scan picture back then I should have felt something, but I felt—” he stopped, and I brushed his arm, silently begging my Callum to come back to me. He looked me in the eye. “I felt nothing.”

  His voice was hard and cold. It was at that moment I knew I had lost him. He moved across the room, dragging his hands down his face.

  “Don’t fucking walk away from me, Callum. I’m your girlfriend, and we’ve been together for three years. Doesn’t that mean anything to you? You’ve been distant for weeks, is there someone else? Have I done something wrong?”

  I moved closer to him until I was standing right in front of him.

  “Don’t you find me attractive anymore, baby? You’ve hardly touched me recently, sometimes I can hear you tossing and turning on that sofa. All I wanted was for you to come back to bed and hold me, make love to me like you used to. Don’t you miss that?”

  Even as I said the words, I heard the desperation in my voice, and I hated myself for being so needy. I took his hand and placed it on my breast, hoping to evoke some feeling in the shell of a man in front of me.

  “See, Cal, it’s me, Peyton, your girl, the woman you love,” I whispered trying to sound seductive, and the voice in my head was going crazy. Stop acting so needy and desperate.

  He looked at me, and his face turned angry. He looked as if he was about to explode, and I had never seen that look on his face before. Deciding to step away from him, he went crazy. He completely trashed the flat, and I was cowering in the corner, screaming and sobbing hysterically for him to stop. The extent of his temper had me shaking with fear, and I didn’t know what to do. The look in his eyes was terrifying, and I had never seen him that way before. Something told me that there was more to that side of him than me telling him I was pregnant.

  After what seemed like an eternity, he stopped and looked around. The flat was completely trashed, the sofa upturned, photos of us were strewn around the room, there was glass everywhere, and the flat looked like a bombsite. He stopped, and his eyes widened as if he had just suddenly come to his senses. His eyes locked on mine cowering and shaking in the corner. He put his hand to his mouth.

  “Oh, my God, baby cakes, I’m so sorry.”

  He offered me his hand to help me to my feet, but I slapped his hand away.

  “Get the fuck away from me, Callum,” I managed to choke out. My voice was shaky, and I was in complete and utter shock. I couldn’t believe he would do something like that. Callum was usually so calm, gentle, and laid back, but watching him then was as if I was in the room with a virtual stranger. He held his hands up in defeat and ran out of the flat, slamming the door behind him. I got to my feet, and sharp stomach pains crippled me. I clutched my stomach and looked down—blood was seeping through my pyjamas bottoms.

  18

  Peyton

  I am instantly jolted back to the present, and my face is wet with tears.

  “I can’t go through that pain again, Sam. I don’t think I’ll come back from it if you hurt me the way Callum did.”

  Sam shakes his head and pulls me into his hard chest. “Shhh, it’s OK, angel, I’m here.”

  I suddenly feel like a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders just by sharing with Sam the agony I went through. At that moment, I know that my future is with Sam and that everything is going to be all right as long as I have him at my side.

  The rest of the week passes without any more dramas or run-ins with Callum, but the silent treatment from Ruby remains. I have been hiding out at Sam’s place all week since the argument with Ruby; it has been heaven spending time with the man in my life and hot, nasty sex on tap!

  I finish work at lunchtime on Friday afternoon, and I’m so excited to be leaving London for the weekend. The hustle and bustle of the city is a little hard to take at times. It’s been so long since I saw my family, so I am looking forward to seeing them and catching up with my mum, dad, my brother, Dexter, and my sister, Eden. I am also looking forward to finally introducing them to Sam; it has been a while since I introduced a new boyfriend to my family. I am optimistic that they will love Sam just as much as I do.

  I packed my weekend bag last night, so I didn’t have to rush after work. It is a welcome change for me to be organised for once! But I still have to go home for a few things, and I come home to Ruby crying.

  “Rubes, hey.”

  She sobs, and sh
e collapses in tears in my arms. “I’m so sorry, Peyton.”

  I stroke her hair, and say, “Hey, it’s OK, babe, I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to be such a bitch.”

  She shakes her head. “No, everything you said was true. I was a complete fucking bitch to you, I know that. I hate it when we fight.”

  I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. “It’s OK, honestly, babe, I hate fighting with you too. Now, do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”

  She sniffs and wipes her eyes on her sleeve. “Fucking Isaac fired me.”

  I look wide-eyed at her. “What? Why the fuck did he fire you, babe?”

  She pulls away from our hug and walks over to the sofa. “His fucking wife found out about us, she found a hotel booking on his bank statement and saucy underwear stuffed down the backseat of his car, which was totally nothing to do with me.” She smirks which tells me it was most definitely something to do with her! “She went mental, threw him out of their house, froze their bank accounts, and she is filing for divorce. She is taking him for half of everything: the company, the house, his other businesses, the lot. He practically dragged me into his office this morning. He was fuming saying it was my fault that his wife found out about us. I’m sorry, but how the fuck was it my fault that he can’t keep his dick in his pants? It wasn’t as if I made it obvious that we were shagging. I was discreet, I was happy to just be his bit on the side.”

  I roll my eyes that she actually thinks so little of herself. Poor Ruby.

  “Don’t judge me, babe. I was happy being his bit on the side, I didn’t ask him for anything. I didn’t hang on his every word like some dumb bimbo, I didn’t expect him to leave his wife for me and declare his undying love for me, either. It was just sex, quick fumble in his office, blowjob under his desk, it wasn’t as if it was serious, and we both knew that. Now I’m getting the blame for his frigid wife finding out he was getting it elsewhere. If she had looked hard enough, she would have found out he was also seeing prostitutes, high-class call girls and visiting brothels. I told him about the baby and the abortion totally in the heat of the moment, and then he just fucking lost it. He started calling me a filthy whore and a gold digging slag, and then he fired me.”

  She flops down on the sofa, and I sit down next to her.

  “He can’t just fire you for sleeping with him, he is just pissed that his wife found out. You could take him to an industrial tribunal for unfair dismissal. He can’t do that to you, babe. There’s laws against that. Just because he is a powerful businessman doesn’t mean there are loopholes.”

  She shakes her head. “Isaac isn’t just a powerful businessman—he is practically a billionaire, he is extremely clever and sly, he is precise, and he makes sure his arse is covered. I can’t do fuck-all about him firing me, babe; he’ll make sure I never work in advertising again. I’m screwed either way. I’ll be joining the dole queue and sitting on my fat arse watching Jeremy Kyle every morning,” she says with a sigh.

  “Then go back to college, babe, retrain in something you actually enjoy rather than just something you’re good at.”

  She smiles. “How do you manage to always be right, Peyton?”

  I smile back. “What can I say? I’m gifted, babe!”

  “Aren’t you supposed to be going to Brighton to see your parents?”

  I nod and look at the clock.

  “Yeah, I need to go and pick Sam up then we’re heading off. Are you sure you don’t need me to stay, babe? I can cancel and reschedule for next weekend if you need me. I don’t like leaving you on your own.”

  She kisses me on the cheek.

  “Thanks for the offer, babe, but I’ll be fine. You’re the best friend any girl could wish to have, you know, offering to give up your weekend for me, but it’s not necessary, sweetie. I’m going to get my shit together, go out, and get wasted! Maybe booty call Jax!”

  I laugh. “Sounds like a plan, honey.”

  I get up off the sofa and grab a quick shower before I leave, reapply my makeup, and grab the bag that I’ve packed.

  “I’m going then, babe. Call me if you need anything. If it’s an emergency, my mum and dad’s number is on a post-it note on the fridge.”

  She smiles. “OK, babe, I know the drill! Have fun. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she says with a wink.

  I roll my eyes playfully and leave the flat, looking forward to our weekend away.

  The traffic is heavy for a Friday afternoon, and it takes us longer than usual to get into Brighton from London. As soon as I see the sign ‘Welcome to Brighton’, I instantly relax and smile. I feel like a kid again, excited to get to my mum and dad’s seaside retreat. The journey there is filled with light-hearted conversation, an epic selection of road trip music, Sam’s eyes on me, and the occasional tender touch on my leg. I turn into my mum and dad’s driveway, and Sam looks up at the impressive house in front of him.

  “Jesus fucking Christ!”

  I laugh at his reaction, then pull onto the gravel driveway, cut the engine, and we both get out of the car. I open the boot to get our bags out, and Sam grabs them from me. He puts his arm around my waist and pulls me to him.

  “Don’t be nervous, they don’t bite!” I wink, and he smiles.

  This is a totally different side of Sam—the sensitive, shy, vulnerable and unsure side of him that craves approval from meeting new people. I find it endearing and a welcome change from the Sam from back in London—the in-demand rock star. I have a key, so I let myself in, and as we step inside the hallway, I know I am finally home. The hallway is welcoming; it has dark wooden flooring and pictures of all of us as kids adorning the walls.

  “Nice pigtails!”

  Sam laughs, and I hit him playfully on the arm.

  “Mum, dad, I’m home,” I call out.

  My mum comes out of the kitchen and throws her arms around me.

  “Darling, it’s so good to see you, it’s been forever. Why didn’t you call us to tell us what time you’d be arriving?”

  She pulls away and smiles brightly. I look at my beautiful mother; she looks so different. Her hair is cut into a short, dark-brown, highlighted, spiky style, she is bronzed and wears black rimmed glasses to frame her violet eyes. She looks great for her fifty-two years, and the resemblance between us is apparent. I smile, glad to be back in my family home.

  “We wanted to surprise you, Mum.”

  My mum smiles warmly, and Sam stands awkwardly next to me.

  “This must be the very handsome rock star I’ve heard all about.”

  I feel myself blush while Sam smiles his bright, dazzling smile.

  “Mrs. Harper, I’m Sam, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

  She shakes his hand, and I can tell that she is smitten by the way she looks at him.

  “Sophia, please. Mrs. Harper makes me sound so old!” she says, and Sam chuckles.

  “Sophia, thank you so much for inviting me. You have such a beautiful home.”

  She smiles. “You’re very welcome. Peyton, I believe you’ve found something rare, darling. A famous rock star with manners. They weren’t like that in my day.”

  I roll my eyes and Sam looks at me for support.

  “I’m sorry, I should have explained before. My mum used to be a model in the seventies.”

  Sam looks impressed and nods. “You look ravishing, Sophia. If I didn’t know, I’d think you and Peyton were sisters.”

  Flattery will get you everywhere with my mum, Newbolt!

  She blushes, fawning over him.

  “Put him down, Mum!”

  We all laugh, and my dad comes down the stairs.

  “Peyton, sweetheart.”

  My face lights up as I see my dad. I was always a daddy’s girl.

  “Dad!”

  I run up to him and throw my arms around him. He picks me up and spins me around.

  “How’s my little girl doing? Look at you. Love looks fabulous on you, sweetheart!”

  I laugh and feel like I�
��m a kid all over again.

  “You must be Sam. Max Harper.” My dad grasps Sam’s hand in a firm handshake, and Sam nods.

  “Pleased to meet you, Mr. Harper.”

  My dad smiles and claps Sam on the back. “We’re on first name terms in this house, so call me Max. Come. Let me show you some of my photographs in my studio, Sam, leave these two girls to catch up.”

  Sam nods nervously, kisses me on the cheek, and my dad whisks him away. I go into the kitchen with my mum. The kitchen has been renovated since I was last here. Grey tiled floor, rustic stone worktops, a breakfast bar with white lacquer stools, an AGA cooker, and a bright open plan dining room leading out onto the garden decking.