Tattoos & Tears (Complete Collection)

by Amiee Louise

  “How do you do that, sugar?” he whispers, and I smile.

  “I must have the magic touch!”

  He laughs. I slide out slowly from Sam’s arms and sit on the edge of the bed.

  “I love him so much, Cole, and he is everything to me. Seeing him that way earlier broke my heart. It makes me feel like I hardly know him at all.”

  Cole regards me intently.

  “You’re the first girl in a long time. I have never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at you. He might be off his medication, but the way he feels about you isn’t in question, not for a second. The thing with Sam is that once he has his mind set on something he does it regardless of the consequences. He’s a kind of a do now think later kind of guy.”

  I smile at Cole’s accurate description of Sam. I look at him and decide now is the time for answers.

  “Who’s Lyla?”

  Cole lets out a sigh. “She is in his past, you’re his future.”

  I shake my head.

  “Don’t give me that generic bullshit, Cole, and don’t insult my fucking intelligence. Who is she? Why is she here?”

  He leans forward in the chair and rests his elbows on his knees.

  “It’s complicated.”

  A loud pounding on the door prematurely halts our conversation. Sam flinches at the sound, and his eyes fly open as he sits bolt upright. Cole gets up from his chair and strides towards the door. He opens it and standing in the doorway is Marlowe Newbolt.

  Sam’s calmness is short-lived, and I see him visibly tense. “What the fuck, Cole?”

  Marlowe walks slowly into the room. “Sam, I’m here to help.” Marlowe’s voice is soft and calming. I shake my head at Cole and get up from the bed, I jab my finger in his chest.

  “I had it under control! You saw that I had finally calmed him down! What the fuck!”

  “I’m so sorry Peyton, I know you’re upset, but I didn’t know what else to do. I called him right before you got here, he wouldn’t listen to me. I had no choice.”

  “I was handling him, and I was in the room right down the corridor the whole time. You could have come and got me.”

  Sam stands up, and Marlowe moves closer to him. I anxiously watch the exchange between father and son unfold in front of me.

  “Sam, you’re ill, son, you just need a little bit of help that’s all. You’ll be back to your old self in no time at all.”

  Marlowe smiles warmly and goes over to the mini bar, slinging his jacket over the arm of the chair as he goes. He takes out a bottle of water and starts to pour it into a glass tumbler with his back to us. Sam shakes his head and scrubs his hands down his face.

  “Don’t you get it? I don’t want to be back to my old self! I’m happier this way! I don’t feel fucking dead inside, I finally feel alive, Dad. It’s thanks to Peyton that I’m still here.”

  Marlowe brushes Sam’s arm. “Here drink this, son, you’ll feel better.”

  He turns around and hands Sam the glass of water. I can’t help but think there is something going on that I don’t know about. I narrow my eyes at Cole, and he looks to the floor, avoiding eye contact. Marlowe moves closer to his son, and as Sam takes a long sip on the glass of water, the glass crashes to the floor. I scream and freeze in place at what just happened. Marlowe put something in his own son’s drink. What the fuck?

  “Sam!” I scream. Marlowe and Cole catch him before all six foot four of him hits the floor, and his eyes lock with mine.

  “Angel, I’m sorry.”

  With those words, Sam’s eyes close, and he is out cold on the hotel room floor. I sob uncontrollably and sink to the floor beside him. I stroke his hair gently and Marlowe crouches down next to me.

  “It was for the best. Peyton, you have to understand that. I didn’t have a choice.”

  “Of course you had a fucking choice! He is not some animal you can put down, he is a human being!” I shout. I take Sam’s hand in mine and plant a kiss on the back. “It’s going to be all right, baby, I’m here.”

  I am more than a little gobsmacked at the turn of events that have unfolded. Marlowe placing his hand gently on my shoulder interrupts my thoughts.

  “Come on, love, we should talk.”

  I shake my head. “Don’t you dare fucking touch me, Marlowe,” I choke out. Marlowe removes his hand from my shoulder and takes a step back from me. “I can’t leave him. What if he wakes up and I’m not here?” A tear rolls down my cheek.

  “He is going to be fine. It was just a mild sedative mixed with his medication. Completely harmless, and he’ll come round in an hour or two, right as rain.”

  I swipe the tears away and look up at Marlowe.

  “How could you do that to him? Your own son?”

  Marlowe scrubs his hands down his face, and he looks exhausted. I let go of Sam’s hand and get to my feet. I brush past Marlowe and Cole, walk into the bathroom, and close the door. I lean on the counter and try to compose myself.

  Get it together, Harper, Sam needs you. I take a deep breath and splash cold water on my tear-stained face. A few minutes pass and the door taps softly.

  “Peyton,” Marlowe’s soothing voice filters through the door. “Can I come in, love?”

  I open the door and look up into his green eyes, which remind me so much of Sam. He pulls me into his chest and wraps me in his arms. Even though I am spitting mad at him for doing that to Sam, I can do nothing but cling to him and sob. I sob for my beautifully broken man who is currently out cold on the hotel room floor. He strokes my hair.

  “Shush, it’s all right, my love; he is going to be just fine in the morning. I know it’s hard seeing the man you love crumbling, but he is strong. I know you’re upset but don’t blame Cole for this, he was just doing his job. He has kept Sam on the straight and narrow for almost ten years. When Sam first got famous, he was so out of control he wouldn’t even listen to his mother or me, he let the fame go to his head in a big way. Twinned with Sam’s addictive personality it was a total recipe for disaster, he needed someone to take care of him when we weren’t around.”

  I look up at him, knowing where this is going.

  “You orchestrated the whole thing with Cole that night at the club?”

  Marlowe is silent for a moment. “Cole is ex-military and an ex-cop, he is extremely intelligent, and he is engaged to Milo’s step-daughter, Amy. The bloke who smashed the glass was an old friend of mine, and the girl Brody felt up wasn’t his girlfriend, it was his sister. But Cole and Sam becoming close friends wasn’t my doing. Sam is an extremely good judge of character, and he chooses his friends carefully, which is a trait he inherited from me.”

  He smiles proudly, and I pull away from our embrace, hearing voices outside the bathroom door. Marlowe opens the door; Jax is in the hotel room with us. Sam is passed out on the bed now; Cole must have moved him. Cole is at least three or four inches taller than Sam is and definitely a lot stronger. I step out of the bathroom followed by Marlowe. Marlowe sits on the edge of the bed and lets out a sigh.

  “Was it bad?”

  Jax’s face is marred with concern for his friend.

  “Pretty bad, the state of the hotel room is a clear indication, mate,” Cole replies and gestures to the mess on the hotel room floor.

  “Fuck!” Jax curses and runs his hand over the stubble on his chin. “Bollocks!” he curses again. “Shit! I need a fucking drink.”

  He goes over to the mini-bar and Marlowe looks at his watch.

  “I think we all need some sleep. It’s late. Things always look better in the morning.”

  Jax takes a long pull on a large glass of vodka.

  “I should stay with him,” I say.

  Marlowe stands up and brushes my arm. “It’s better that you stay with Jax, sweetheart. We don’t know what mood he’ll be in when he comes around.”

  I look at Marlowe, and he smiles reassuringly.

  “Go with Jax, flower, he’ll look after you. I’ll call you in the morning.”
<
br />   Marlowe kisses my forehead. Jax finishes his drink and wraps his arm around me.

  “Come on, love.”

  He smiles and leads me out of the room. Jax opens the door of Cole’s hotel room, and we both step in before he closes it behind us.

  “I was woken up by Ruby calling your mobile, repeatedly. That’s when I realised you had gone. Ruby was fucking frantic. You hadn’t called her back, and she said she was worried about you. I had to talk her out of coming to get you.” He smirks. “Christ, that woman is a fucking force of nature.” We both laugh for a moment before his face turns serious as he looks at me. “Seriously, though, babe, I was genuinely concerned when I woke up and you were gone.”

  I look to the floor.

  “I’m sorry, I had to go to him, Jax, I was terrified.”

  He sits down on the edge of the bed and pats the space next to him. I sit down beside him.

  “He finally opened up to me, Jax.”

  “Believe me, that’s a good thing. Sam keeps things bottled up a lot. It usually takes a lot of fucking vodka for him to say what he is really feeling. He is lucky to have you, love, you’re good for him.”

  I smile, and there’s a light tap on the door. Jax gets up to answer it, and Marlowe is standing outside.

  “Can I come in, Jax?”

  Jax nods and Marlowe steps into the room, closing the door behind him.

  “How is he, Marlowe?” Jax enquires, and Marlowe nods.

  “He is asleep; he should be fine by the morning. I actually came to speak to Peyton, if that’s OK with you?”

  Jax nods. “No worries, I’ll go to Lucas’ room, he should still be awake. Will you be OK?”

  “I’ll be fine and thanks for tonight, Jax.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, you’re one of us now. I programmed all our numbers in your phone, if you need anything at all, love, call me.” He winks and leaves the room.

  Marlowe sits in the overstuffed armchair in the corner of the room and steeples his fingers underneath his chin.

  “It’s easy for me to see why Sam’s fallen for you. You are beautiful, intelligent; all the boys in the band seem to be taken with you. They have accepted you as one of their own, which is extremely rare. You made an impression on my wife, such an impression that she is already planning her wedding outfit.”

  He chuckles, and his dimples remind me so much of Sam. It is actually scary how much they look alike.

  “I keep thinking you’re too good to be true. I have to say when Sam told me he’d met someone, I had Cole run a background check on you, but you came up squeaky clean, whiter than white.”

  I am actually offended that he did a background check on me when all I have ever done is fall in love with his son.

  “I’m sorry for doubting you, Peyton. You must understand that being in the music industry most women are just after a one-night stand and to make money by selling their sordid little stories. I saw that you weren’t like that, I saw the way you and Sam were together at the album launch, and he was quite smitten.” He smiles.

  “When you smile you remind me so much of Sam, the eyes, the dimples.”

  “You really love him, don’t you?”

  My eyes glaze over, and I nod. “God, I love him so much it physically hurts. He consumes me, every single part of me. It broke my heart seeing him in such distress tonight.”

  Marlowe pauses for a second before he speaks. “He’s been off his medication since he met you; against my better judgement, might I add. I thought he could handle it. He seemed to be doing so well, but then you had the car accident, and I could see him spiralling out of control. I saw the signs, but I did nothing. John managed to convince me he’d snap out of it once he saw you were recovering.”

  Fucking J.D. God, now I really hate him, I never thought it was possible to hate a person this much.

  “The night of the accident, Sam disappeared from the hospital, and Cole tracked the GPS on his phone. He and Jax found him passed out in the bathroom in his apartment. That boy has the biggest self-destruct button I have ever seen. While Ruby was trying to get in touch with your parents and Sam was having his meltdown, I came to the hospital to sit with you. I stayed for two whole days. I wanted you moved to a private hospital, but we didn’t know if you were going to make it. I saw then how much you meant to Sam. I have never seen him like this with anyone, he was devastated. He never brings girls back to meet us; we knew you must be special.”

  I smile at Marlowe’s words, also shocked at the revelations he is revealing to me. He was with me for two days at the hospital?

  “I don’t know what to say. Thank you for staying with me at the hospital.”

  “You don’t have to thank me, my love.”

  With those words, my mobile signals a text message. I swipe my finger across the screen and open the message, it’s from Cole.

  He is awake, and he is asking for you

  I’ll leave the door unlocked

  Cole

  I look at Marlowe. “That was Cole. Sam’s awake, and he’s asking for me.”

  Marlowe nods. “Go and be with my son.” He smiles brightly, strides across the room and envelopes me in a hug. “Welcome to the family, my love.”

  He kisses the top of my head tenderly, and I feel so much pride at that moment I squeeze him tighter. I feel elated that I have been accepted into the bosom of Sam’s family and it means everything to me.

  “Thank you, Marlowe, for everything.”

  Marlowe pulls away from our embrace.

  “I’ll even let you call me Dad if you want!” We both laugh. “Now that’s enough of that soppy bollocks. Go and be with Sam, he needs you.”

  He winks, and I leave the room. I practically run down the corridor and push the door open. Sam is sitting crossed-legged in the middle of the king-size bed. As I step into the room, his eyes lock with mine. He releases his lip from his teeth, and I see his tense shoulders visibly relax. He climbs off the bed and moves fluidly across the room, his eyes never leaving mine. In a few strides, he is in front of me and towering over me.

  “Angel,” he rasps and tucks a strand of my hair that has come loose from my ponytail behind my ear. He moves his hand down and strokes my face, I lean into his touch. I stroke his lightly-stubbled cheek and Cole carefully observes the exchange between us.

  “I’ll leave you two to it; I’m on my mobile if you need anything.”

  Sam and I are silent for a few minutes, just standing there silently observing each other not knowing how to react. A feeling, which is completely alien to me, especially in Sam’s presence. He cautiously steps closer until his chest is pressed against me and I can feel his warm breath tickling my cheek. I am not used to cautious and careful where Sam is concerned. I am not sure whether it’s a good sign or a bad sign.

  “I’m so fucking sorry, angel, please forgive me,” he whispers. Those are the only words he says before he wraps his strong arms around me and I melt into his arms, clinging desperately to him. It is as if we need each other to stay rooted to the floor. He runs his hands up and down my spine; I relish the feeling of closeness and safety being in his arms.

  “Lie with me for a while?”

  His voice is unsure, and I let him lead me to the bed. He lies down, and I lie next to him in complete silence. He pulls me closer to him, and I have never encountered this side of Sam before. The careful, cautious, unsure, and vulnerable side. He is so gentle, and his eyes search my approval at every turn. He wraps his arm around me, and I rest my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his thundering heartbeat under my cheek. In that moment, I know everything is going to be OK. I feel completely and utterly content being with Sam despite his faults. I vow to spend the rest of my life with him because he is everything to me.

  9

  Peyton

  A month passes, and I have travelled the length and breadth of the country with Rancid Vengeance. From Glasgow to Manchester, Birmingham, Cardiff, Liverpool, Nottingham, Sheffield and bac
k to London tonight for the band’s farewell gig. It is my last night on the tour bus, and I am due to return home tomorrow while Sam and the boys go on the European leg of their tour for two months. It has definitely been an experience, and I have gotten an insight into life on the road with a high-profile, world famous, successful rock band. I have met some interesting people from, Lex the tour bus driver, to the roadies, and even some of the band's diehard fans. I have witnessed the ups, downs, and everything in-between.

  The night of Sam’s meltdown was one of the worse nights of my life, but it feels like it has bought us closer together as a couple. That was the only good thing to come out of that night. He is back on a low dose of Seroxat to control his moods, and he is back to his usual charming self. My Sam.