Tattoos & Tears (Complete Collection)

by Amiee Louise

  “Thank you so much.”

  “I’m glad you like it, angel, my work here is done. I’ve put a smile on your face, and I hope to keep it there for the rest of the day.”

  “I love you so much, Sam.”

  “I love you too, angel, but I have to go. Duty calls. Think of me.”

  With those words, he hangs up, and he is right: I am left with a grin plastered across my face for the whole journey to work. Twenty minutes later, I breeze into the shop. Seb looks up from his tattoo magazine, and his face lights up.

  “Good morning, honey bunny.”

  I have missed his usual morning greeting, and I am glad to be back.

  “Good morning, pumpkin.”

  He leaps up from his chair, sprints across the shop, picks me up, and spins me around. We both laugh. He sets me on my feet and pulls me into a bear hug.

  “It’s so good to have you home; the place is never the same without you.”

  I pull away from our embrace to say, “I’ve missed you, Seb.”

  “I got you a coffee, your usual Starbucks special.” He winks. I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him on the cheek.

  “Thanks, babe, you’re a star.”

  I take the lid off my coffee and go to take a sip. My stomach roils, and I suddenly feel the overwhelming urge to throw up. I put my cup down and rush to the toilet. As I sink down to my knees and vomit, I feel a presence at my back.

  “Seb, you don’t need to see this,” I manage to say between bouts of being sick.

  “Don’t be silly, honey, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” He kneels down, rubs my back, and holds my hair out of my face. “What’s wrong, is it something you ate?”

  I pause. “I’m not sure, maybe.”

  He rubs my back soothingly.

  “Take your time, honey, your first appointment isn’t until eleven. But if you need to take some time, I can reschedule it if you need me to. I need to leave at lunchtime, though I’m taking a flight to California early this evening; I need to oversee the new shop opening.”

  I smile to myself, and I am so happy for Seb in expanding the shop. It is as if everything he touches turns to gold, and I am glad he is taking me along for the ride as shop manager.

  I clean myself up and out of curiosity, I check my calendar on my phone. I am shocked at the discovery I make. My period is late, and it’s never late. It’s always regular as clockwork, I can literally set my watch by it. According to my calendar, I am four weeks late. How the fuck did I not realise? Shit. The morning passes quickly in an endless flow of ink, but it is made more difficult with the underlying thought lingering in the back of my mind. I might be pregnant with Sam’s baby. With that thought at the forefront of my brain, I say goodbye to Seb and wish him luck on his shop opening in California and walk to Swingin’ Eli’s for lunch with Ruby. By the time Ruby gets there, I am chewing on my bottom lip and deep in thought.

  “Earth to Peyton.” She snaps her fingers. She plonks herself on the seat in front of me and drops her bag on the floor.

  “Come on spill it, sister, you look like you could use a chat.” She smiles, her face filled with concern. I look up at her with glazed eyes.

  “My period’s late.”

  Her eyes widen. “Fuck me, Peyton.”

  I take a sip from my glass of water. She reaches over the table and grasps my hand.

  “Everything will be OK, babe, we’ll do a test, and if it comes back positive, we’ll deal with it. I’ll be here for you, every step of the way, just like last time.”

  She smiles softly and reassuringly. I always feel better after I have spoken to Ruby. Her reassurance, her uncanny knack of reading me like a book, and her ability to say the right things make me grateful to have someone like her in my life. We eat lunch, even though my appetite seems to have abandoned me, and after settling our bill, we head to the pharmacy down the street. I buy a pregnancy test and go back to work, promising Ruby to meet her back at the flat later.

  The rest of the afternoon is busy. In-between tattooing, cashing up, and sorting out the rest of the week’s bookings, I am rushed off my feet. Parker is on hand to help which I am grateful for. He offers to lock up the shop, and I head back to the flat after a long, busy day.

  The heavy rush-hour traffic means it takes twice as long to get back to the flat and by the time I finally get back, I am tired, anxious, and extremely pissed off. I throw my bag down on the counter top in the kitchen and hang up my coat. I go straight to the bathroom, wanting desperately to get the test out of the way. Ruby leans in the doorway with her arms folded.

  “I can’t pee while you’re watching.”

  She giggles. “For fucks sake! I’ll turn around, although it’s nothing I haven’t seen before, babe. I know what your lady garden looks like! How long have we known each other?”

  She cocks her eyebrow, and we both laugh hysterically. If you don’t laugh about it you’ll cry, right? I make a turning motion with my finger; she rolls her eyes and turns around. I pee on the stick and wait while the results develop.

  “How late are you?”

  I bite my lip. “Four weeks. Being on the road with the boys, it was hard to keep track, but how the fuck did I not realise?”

  She brushes my arm reassuringly. A few minutes pass, and I look at the result. The test reads ‘pregnant’. I put my hand to my mouth and start sobbing. This is not happening. Fuck. Two little blue lines—pregnant. Those blue lines are going to change everything.

  “Hey, what’s with the tears, babe, it’s good news, right?” Ruby says gently, and she pulls me in for a hug.

  “How could I have been so fucking stupid?” I sob, and she strokes my hair.

  “I should be congratulating you, not comforting you, sweetie.”

  It’s easy for her to say—she hasn’t got herself knocked up by a handsome rock star that could quite easily bolt if I tell him. At least he would be living up to his stage name. I decide to keep the news to myself for the time being and swear Ruby to secrecy. At least until I come to terms with the situation. I will tell him. Soon.

  12

  Peyton

  Two months pass by quickly in a haze of morning sickness, busy days at the shop—which seem to all blend into each other—and daily phone and Skype calls from Sam. It is the end of October almost, and I still haven’t dropped the baby bombshell. Every time I speak to him, I can’t seem to bring myself to say the words. A trip to the doctor’s confirmed that I am now twelve weeks pregnant. I have taken to wearing bigger clothes to try to hide my ever-growing baby bump. I feel exactly like I did when I was with Callum.

  Today is Saturday, and I have a well-earned day off from the shop after working gruelling twelve-hour shifts at the shop. I am curled up on the sofa in my pyjamas, and Ruby comes storming in with her hands on her hips.

  “You’re getting off that fucking sofa, and you’re coming shopping with me. I can’t stand seeing you so miserable and wallowing in your own bloody self-pity. When the fuck are you going to tell Sam? When your waters break or when you’re actually in hospital giving birth?” she snaps, and I avoid her stern gaze. I know she is right, but I can’t. I just can’t. He’ll run, I just know it.

  “Stop overthinking.” Ruby looks at me and sits on the sofa next to me. “Look, Peyton, you need to hear this, I’ve kept my mouth shut for long enough.”

  She narrows her eyes, and she has a look on her face that tells me she is serious.

  “I was the one who mopped up your tears, I was the one who picked up the pieces and put you back together. I was there through the nightmares, I was the one who held you while you screamed and cried because of him, Peyton. It broke my heart to watch you go through that. Christ, you tried to take your own life because of Callum-fucking-Kennedy. Sam isn’t Callum, babe; he’ll stand by you no matter what because he worships you. That boy would walk through hell for you; any fucking idiot can see that except for you. You’re just waiting for him to prove you right and you’re going to end up los
ing your happily ever after because of that selfish prick. You’re carrying Sam’s baby, and you have to tell him. He deserves to know, babe. He might not have been my favourite person in the beginning, but he is a genuine, kind, caring bloke and he loves you. He might be a pig-headed, egotistical, hot-tempered dick that makes the wrong decisions sometimes, but only because he loves you. I’m not going to sit back and watch you ruin the one good thing in your life; best friends don’t do that.” She clasps my hand in hers. “Everything’s going to be all right, babe, I promise. Sam’s due back next week, isn’t he?”

  I nod.

  “You need to tell him.” She gets up from the sofa. “Or I will,” she says nonchalantly.

  My eyes widen, and I rush after her. “You wouldn’t dare,” I challenge, and she raises her perfectly-plucked eyebrows.

  “Don’t dare me, babe, this isn’t some game. You’re pregnant, and you’re refusing to tell the father. Maybe I should call your mum and get her to talk some fucking sense into you.”

  By the tone of her voice, I know she really means business.

  “Ruby, please don’t call my mum. I’ll tell him as soon as he gets back, I promise.”

  She smiles brightly.

  “Good, mission accomplished. Now, get your fat pregnant arse up off that fucking sofa and get dressed; we’re going shopping.”

  I smile at her feistiness and drag myself into the shower. I dry my hair, apply my usual natural makeup, and get dressed in a simple, purple, polka-dot dress and black pumps. I admire myself in the mirror; I am beginning to think they’re right what they say that a woman in the early stages of pregnancy is glowing. My hair is glossier than usual and falling down my shoulders in a dark brown cascade, my eyes are wide, and even though they are incredibly sore and tender, my boobs look amazing! I stroke my stomach and start to wonder what’s Sam’s reaction will be. Will he be angry? Will he run? Will he be happy? I try to push my wayward thoughts to the back of my mind as I grab my bag and my coat. I go out into the living room, and Ruby is waiting for me.

  “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it, babe? You look gorgeous as always.”

  She smiles brightly. She links my arm, and we leave the flat. We walk down the steps and as we start to make our way down the street, a motorbike roars close to us.

  “Boys and their toys.”

  Ruby rolls her eyes. We carry on walking; the motorbike circles us and comes to a halt at the kerb inches away from us. The person on the motorbike pulls off their helmet and there in front of us is Sam. He smiles lazily, and he looks absolutely delicious. His raven black hair is longer than I remember, and he looks thinner, more defined, and extremely hot. My mouth forms a perfect O shape as I take in the sight of him.

  “Angel,” he rasps, and it is taking everything I have not to melt in a puddle at his feet. He climbs off his custom black Harley Davidson Sportster Iron 883 motorbike, kicks the kickstand, and strides towards me. He wraps me in his strong arms, and I cling to him tightly. Ruby is standing off to the side taking in the sight unfolding in front of her. I take in his scent and nuzzle my face into his neck.

  “God, I’ve missed you, baby,” he says into my neck.

  “I missed you too so much, Sam.”

  I feel him smile against my skin. He pulls away from me and looks at me.

  “You’re even more beautiful than I remember, angel.”

  He moves closer to me and presses his lips urgently to mine. His lips are so soft, his tongue carefully caresses mine, and I am lost in his kiss right in the middle of the street.

  “I thought you weren’t due back until next week.”

  He smiles his dazzling melt-worthy smile.

  “I wanted to surprise you; it’s just a flying visit, though. We fly out to Las Vegas next weekend for our ten-year anniversary gig.”

  I still can’t believe he is standing in front of me after so long apart. I feel so overwhelmed, I might burst into tears. I swallow back the lump in my throat.

  “Come home with me?”

  I am about to protest, and Ruby jumps in.

  “It’s fine, babe, honestly. Go and be with Sam. You deserve to spend some time together, plus, it’s kind of sickening watching you.”

  She makes a vomiting motion with her hand. We all laugh, and Ruby brushes my arm.

  “Go, I’ll find something or someone else to entertain me, babe. I’ll be fine.” She winks.

  “Are you sure, babe?”

  She pulls me in for a hug. “’Course I’m sure, you silly tart. Call me once you’ve told him, we’ll have some celebrating to do,” she whispers so only I can hear her, and she pulls away. “Enjoy your day together, lovebirds.”

  She laughs and walks off down the street, leaving Sam and me looking at each other.

  “You look … Fuck, you look amazing. Our video calls are no match for the real thing, angel.”

  I smile shyly.

  “Should we go up to your flat and get some clothes for you? Although, while I was away, I hired a personal shopper and got you a whole new wardrobe full of clothes at my place.”

  I raise my eyebrows.

  “I’m not sure whether to be flattered or creeped out that you did that for me.”

  He laughs. “You should definitely be flattered, angel.”

  He pushes his bike nearer to my flat, secures it, and we head up to the flat.

  “Did you have anything to do with this?” I say as we step into the new state-of-the-art reception area, complete with security guards and twenty-four-hour surveillance. He smirks.

  “I might have.”

  He guides me towards the stairs with his hand at the small of my back.

  “I just wanted you safe and protected while I was gone. If you’re still adamant that you don’t want to live with me, then it’s the least I can do. Besides, Diego owed me a favour.”

  I smile, and I get a fuzzy feeling inside that he is so protective. I start to think that maybe telling him about the baby won’t be so bad. We go up to the flat, and he stands in the living room. I pack some things in my overnight bag, zip it up, and join Sam in the living room. I lock the door on the way out, and we head out onto the street. Cole is waiting at the kerb in Sam’s sleek black Mercedes SL convertible.

  “Cole’s going to take you to my place. I’m going to take the bike back, and I’ll meet you there.”

  Cole smiles brightly and tips his hat. Sam kisses me gently on the lips, and I get into the car. We make the journey back to Sam’s place in relative silence. I am lost in thought for the whole trip, and I hardly notice as we pull up at the kerb.

  “Peyton?” Cole’s deep rumbling voice interrupts my thoughts. I look up into his deep brown eyes, and I manage a smile. “I thought I’d lost you back there, sugar.” He smiles warmly. He opens my door, and I step out of the car. “Are you sure everything’s OK, Peyton?” Cole asks as we walk into Sam’s building. I don’t hear him as I take in the opulence; it never ceases to amaze me, the marble floors, and the sleek, clean lines and despite the feeling of wealth within the building, the warm, inviting atmosphere soothes you as soon as you step inside.

  “Peyton.” I spin around. “I said, is everything OK?”

  I nod and smile, knowing that my smile doesn’t quite reach my eyes.

  “Yeah, everything’s fine, thanks, Cole.”

  He smiles and nods, but something about the way he looks tells me he doesn’t believe me for a second. Cole calls for the lift, and we step in. I am silent and a slave to my thoughts as the lift ascends to Sam’s apartment. I step into the foyer and Cole steps out behind me, he hands me a purple key on a Rancid Vengeance key ring.

  “Sam asked me to give you this.” I take the key from him, open the apartment door, and go to hand the key back to Cole. He shakes his head. “He said you can keep it, just in case.”

  I go into Sam’s apartment, and Cole follows me. I put my bag down and take off my coat. I notice four mounted photographs wrapped in bubble wrap leaning against the kitchen is
land. Sam’s luggage and a guitar case are leaning against the wall. I am curious as to what other adjustments Sam has made to his apartment while he has been gone. Cole stands stock-still with his hands behind his back.

  “Do you need anything while I’m here Peyton?”

  I look up at him regarding me intently and shake my head.

  “No, thanks. I’m good.”

  I smile. He nods, and I wonder if he is under orders from Sam to stand guard until he comes back. I move into the kitchen, and I suddenly feel dizzy. I stumble and lean into the kitchen island for support. Cole is at my side in seconds.