Tattoos & Tears (Complete Collection)

by Amiee Louise

He stands to his full height and looks at me.

  “You don’t. I get that she destroyed you, Sam, but you have to look at this from her point of view. She’s broken too, and you going in there, all guns blazing, isn’t going to help her. It’s going to push her further away.”

  I remain silent, knowing he’s one hundred percent right.

  “Our relationship is so fragile right now, I'm fucking terrified she's going to run from me again,” I speak candidly, and it feels good to finally get it off my chest.

  “Number one, don't give her reason to fucking run. And number two, stop pushing her away. You're both as bad as each other. The way I see it, women aren't the complicated fucking creatures we make them out to be, they're simple once you figure it out, dude,” he says with a self-satisfied grin plastered across his face and I cock my pierced eyebrow at him.

  “Since when have you been an expert with women, Hart?”

  He grins wickedly.

  “Since this dog started getting regular fucking pussy!”

  He laughs, and he has my attention. When did Brody find a girlfriend?

  “What's her name, dude?”

  He looks coyly away, and he seems almost shy.

  “It’s early days. I don’t want to jinx it, she's...she's just someone I’ve known for a while.”

  He looks away and tucks his hands in his pockets.

  “I’ve been seeing her…for a few years, on and off.”

  I nod and I'm grateful that he's finally opening up to me.

  “It's nothing, it's not serious,” he says quickly, and I smirk.

  The sly dog.

  “You love her, don't you?”

  He actually blushes! Then, it's as if he catches himself, and he shrugs nonchalantly.

  “It's complicated,” he says softly.

  “You just said women weren't complicated. Christ, dude, make up your fucking mind!”

  I laugh, trying to lighten the mood and he blurts out.

  “She's fucking married, ok?”

  His voice cracks and I've never seen this side of Brody before. Is this the side that Peyton talked about, the vulnerable side?

  “Fuck me, this is all such a fucking mess, Sam. I thought I could handle sharing her, but I can’t fucking stand it.”

  He runs his hands anxiously over his short, cropped hair and squats down in front of me.

  “I can’t fucking stand it, Sam! Thinking of his fucking hands all over her, her sleeping next to him. It should be me!”

  He gets to his feet and starts furiously pacing.

  “FUCCKKKKK!” he shouts. “Fuck me; I need to get fucking high.”

  He takes a few deep breaths, as if he is trying to steady himself.

  “At least when I was high, I couldn't feel anything. Fuck me, what I'd give not to feel anything now. I don't do feelings and all that girly bollocks. If I allow myself to feel, then it's...real, ya know?”

  He's pacing the floor now, frantically running his hands over his hair.

  “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.”

  I slow the treadmill down to a stop and make my way across the gym to him. He stops pacing as I come to a halt in front of him. He looks so vulnerable and scared. His eyes are glazed and as I squeeze his shoulder in a gesture of reassurance, he breaks down. He sobs, heart breaking wails of pure anguish and all I can do is pull him into a bear hug. As he sobs, all my worries pale into significance.

  4

  Peyton

  I make my way back to the flat and I feel a little calmer after my run and my early morning encounter with Jack Scott. I walk up the stairs into the reception area of the building and Jimmy, the security guard and concierge, smiles warmly as his way of greeting me. He is around sixty years old, and he reminds me of a cuddly bear. His salt and pepper hair is thinning on top and he has piercing ice-blue eyes. He also has a slight paunch, but his tall frame makes it look in proportion with the rest of his body.

  “Good morning, Peyton.”

  I put on my best fake smile.

  “Morning Jimmy.”

  He rounds the desk and hands me a package. It is a tall, white, oblong shaped box, with a silver ribbon wrapped around it.

  “This came about five minutes ago for you, sweetheart.”

  I take it from him and smile, intrigued at who would be sending me gifts.

  “Thanks Jimmy, I appreciate it. Did you see who delivered it?” I enquire, and he shakes his head.

  “No, it came by a courier on one of those swish motorbikes; the man riding it was wearing a helmet. I didn’t see his face; sorry I can’t be more help, love.”

  I nod and pat his arm.

  “It’s ok, Jimmy, no worries, thanks again. I’ll see you later, enjoy your day.”

  I make my way up back up to the flat, open the door and kick my trainers off. I close the door behind me and go into the kitchen to open the mysterious package. I sit it down on the worktop and untie the ribbon. I open the box tentatively, and what’s inside makes me smile. A cup of Starbucks coffee and a rocky road brownie. There is a business card at the bottom of the box; it is a plain black card, with embossed silver lettering. It reads: Jack J. Scott, owner and proprietor JJ’s Inferno, freelance writer, blogger, underwear and fashion model. There are three phone numbers for him, a website, an email address and the address of the bar. There is also a note; his writing is elegant, flowing script.

  Petal

  Seeing as you wouldn’t come for a coffee with me. I thought I would bring the coffee to you. All women like coffee and chocolate. It’s an unwritten rule. Please call me, let me make it right.

  Jack x

  I only left him around half an hour ago. How could he have got this to me so quickly? More importantly, how did he know where I live? I take the lid off my steaming coffee and take a sip. It is perfect, just the way I like it. It instantly makes me feel better, like a miracle elixir. My phone starts to ring, and I don’t recognise the number. I pick up hesitantly.

  “Hello, petal.”

  Jack’s deep honey voice fills my ears.

  “Hey,” I say softly.

  “Did you get my gift?”

  I can hear the smile in his voice, which makes me smile too.

  “I did, thank you. It was very thoughtful of you, Jack.”

  I take a small bite of the rocky road brownie and the richness of the chocolate instantly melts in my mouth.

  “Mmm,” I moan with delight and he chuckles softly.

  “I take it you like the brownie?”

  “It’s gorgeous,” I say with my mouth full and he pauses for a few seconds.

  “Glad you like it, I made them myself with my niece.”

  My eyes widen at his admission and I instantly feel bad for rushing out on him.

  “I...I’m sorry about last night, Jack, I really am. I don’t make a habit of acting like a complete bunny boiler in front of potential suitors.”

  He laughs.

  “Glad to hear it. Now, will you at least allow me to take you to dinner? I don’t do romance but let me show you that I can be a gentleman, on occasion.”

  I pause, contemplating his question. Can I really go out on a date with Jack when I'm still so hung up on Sam?

  “Don't leaving me hanging, petal.”

  I hesitate.

  “Jack...”

  He cuts me off.

  “I get you're still hung up on Newbolt, but at least consider it. I'm not proposing marriage, just dinner. We can take it as slow as you need to.”

  I pause, seriously considering whether I can go on a date with Jack Scott. Am I ready to get back onto the dating scene? He's in a whole different league to Sam, but if I'm going to do this, I need to at least give Jack a chance. Before I know what I'm saying, I blurt out, “Ok, yes, I'll go on a date with you. One date and we'll see how it goes.”

  He chuckles softly.

  What have I got to lose?

  “One date. How does Saturday sound?” he asks, and I find myself agreeing, all too easily.
<
br />   “Saturday sounds perfect.”

  “Perfect, I'll pick you up at seven thirty; I have to go now, I've done my good deed for the day, petal.”

  We both laugh, and the door taps softly.

  “Ok, see you Saturday, Jack. Bye.”

  I hang up the phone and open the door. Ruby is standing at the door, with Freddie in her arms.

  “Hey babe.”

  She kisses me on the cheek and hands Freddie to me.

  “Hey rock star, mummy's missed you.”

  Ruby comes inside and shuts the door behind her, leaving a trail of Ed Hardy perfume in her midst. Freddie shrieks excitedly and claps his hands.

  “Someone's in a good mood this morning, baby boy,” I coo and Ruby laughs.

  “I just hope this one is as easy to cope with as he is.”

  She strokes her growing bump and I laugh.

  “It wasn't so easy in the beginning. He was up every hour, on the hour, screaming the house down. I was convinced I was a terrible mother, until Rem explained that he was screaming because he expected me to go in and pick him up. After that, it was pretty much plain sailing. I was so lucky to have Remy.”

  She cocks her eyebrow, in her typical Ruby Logan way.

  “Did you make the beast with two backs with my big brother?”

  I avoid her gaze and busy myself with laying Freddie down on a beanbag.

  “Oh, my fucking God, you did! You slut! You and my brother...did the horizontal hula,” she screeches and puts her hand to her mouth. “OH MY GOD, PEYTON!”

  I narrow my eyes at her.

  “Stop with the theatrics, Rubes, it was just sex. It was a onetime thing, never to be repeated,” I say to try to placate her, but she sees right through me.

  “Just sex? There's something you're not telling me, babe; I can see it in your eyes.”

  I pull off my top and shake my hair loose, hoping to distract her from her question.

  “Do you mind not undressing in front of me, Peyton? It's not going to make me stop the questions.”

  She stands with her hands on her hips and pouts. I smirk.

  “It's not as if you haven't seen my tits before, babe. Since I've had Freddie though, they've definitely got bigger, don't you think? I certainly had no complaints from Remy!”

  I push my breasts together and we both burst out laughing like a pair of naughty schoolgirls.

  God I've missed this so much.

  “Come on, babe, spill, you're so dying to tell me.”

  I finish my coffee and throw the cup in the bin.

  “I'm going be late for work,” I try desperately to change the subject.

  “Stop fucking stalling and tell me, you silly tart!”

  I huff out a breath.

  “He told me he loved me, alright? He said he never stopped loving me, we had sex, he begged me to stay. The next morning was…weird. I got up, and I was going to leave without saying goodbye.”

  Her eyes widen.

  “I fucking knew it! He was...weird when we last Skyped, distant, almost pining. Now I know why. He was acting really un-Remy-like, he wouldn't stop asking about you, and said you'd been avoiding his calls.”

  She narrows her eyes.

  “He was my rock in the year I was away. Remy was always the one I imagined myself ending up with, getting married, settling down, having a few kids, but it never could have worked. Look at my track record with men, Rubes. My childhood sweetheart turned out to be gay, the man I lost my virginity to, namely your brother, left me and put a whole ocean between us. I dabbled in internet dating, which was an absolute mitigated disaster, and then there was Callum. We all know how that one turned out.”

  Her eyes soften, and she moves closer to me, enveloping me in her arms. The sweet familiar smell of her perfume washing over me, instantly calming me.

  “Maybe it was good that you finally shagged Remy out of your system, because you and Sam are obviously meant to be together.”

  She sighs dreamily, and I pull away from her. I roll my eyes.

  Ruby just can’t fucking help herself, meddling in my love life.

  “This whole mess with Sam is just another reason why I shouldn't be anywhere fucking near him, Ruby,” I say miserably, and she tuts melodramatically.

  “Oh please, you're like…Taylor and Burton, Kurt and Courtney, Katie and Peter.”

  I cock my eyebrow and she chuckles softly.

  “Ok, those were bad examples, but you get what I mean, I can't help it if I'm in love with love, babe. I finally got my Prince Charming! We're having a baby, and it might not be an ideal situation with him being on the road, but this past year has been so perfect. He’s attentive, and he understands me. I'm convinced he's the one my soul's been searching for, just like you and Sam. You two are meant to be.”

  I shake my head.

  “No, you don't get it, Ruby. I don't deserve a happy ever after, and I’m not that person anymore. J.D....he fucking broke me. That night changed me. He brainwashed me into thinking Sam had asked him to kidnap me and hurt me. I was in that room for hours and I was fucking terrified. I spent the past year hating Sam with everything in me, because I was fucking dumb enough to believe a lie.”

  My voice shakes, thick with tears and Ruby throws her arms around me.

  “That fucking boy is a mess without you, babe.”

  I shake my head and I swallow back the lump in my throat. She squeezes me tighter and strokes my hair.

  “It's going to be alright, I promise. Look, there's a BBQ at his parents' house next weekend. I would love it if you would come and I know the boys would love to see you. I need my wing woman with me, back where she belongs.”

  I pull away from her and shake my head.

  “I can't face them. It was bad enough in the hospital, I couldn't look either of them in the eye and Lori looked as if she wanted to claw my throat out.”

  Ruby chuckles.

  “She's not that bad, she’s a pussycat. Besides, I'll be there. I'll have your back, I promise. Please just think about it?”

  She gives me the famous Logan puppy dog eyes, and she knows she’s got me. Bitch. I nod reluctantly.

  “Ok, I'll think about it.”

  She claps her hands excitedly and I begin to wonder just what I'm letting myself in for.

  5

  Peyton

  The rest of the week passes in a blur. The shop has really taken off with the news of the new series of 'Inked @ Saint Sinner' spreading like wild fire. We are booked from the time the shop opens until we close in preparation for the start of filming next week. By the time the end of the week comes, I am grateful when we flip the closed sign on the shop at seven p.m. on Friday evening.

  I am relaxing on the sofa, with a long overdue glass of wine, after I made the journey back from work. Freddie is asleep, and Kai is patrolling the building outside, after a few stray photographers kept attempting to get past the security desk without being seen. I am alone and relishing in some me time while watching re-runs of Sons of Anarchy on the T.V. I suddenly hear a loud pounding on the door and my heartbeat starts to quicken, I’m not expecting anyone.

  Relax Harper, Kai is outside, and if he saw anyone suspicious trying to get up here, he would intercept them, before they got within ten feet of me. You’re safe.

  I open the door cautiously and I am greeted by Brody. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding as I take him in.

  “GOOD FUCKING MORNING, VIETNAM!” he shouts and starts to laugh to himself.

  A very drunk Brody. I look at him more closely, his skin is sweaty and clammy, his eyes are wide, glossy and wild and his complexion is pale. Fuck me, he’s not drunk, he’s high. What could have happened for him to fall off the wagon after six months of being clean?

  “Keep your voice down please, babe, my little rock star is sleeping.”

  He puts his finger to his lips.

  “Shhh! I’ll be as quiet as a fucking mouse, I promise.”

  He tries to wink, but he ends up
losing his balance and stumbling into me. I stop him from falling flat on his face and pull him inside the flat, closing the door behind us.

  “Sit down before you fall down, babe; I’ll go and make you some coffee.”