Tattoos & Tears (Complete Collection)

by Amiee Louise

  “Hey!” she says brightly, and I chuckle softly.

  “Is there a reason that you’re in my flat on my sofa, babe?”

  She rolls her eyes dramatically.

  “Yep, I’m here to make you look gorgeous for a certain Mr. Newbolt. He hasn’t been able to wipe that grin off his face all day, it’s bloody sickening!”

  We both laugh.

  “There’s wine open in the kitchen, and I’ve bought my box of tricks. The limo is coming at six, so we’ve got plenty of time.”

  She gets up awkwardly and puffs out her cheeks.

  “This baby needs to move off my bladder, little fucker,” Ruby complains, and I roll my eyes at her usual dramatics.

  I toe off my shoes and hang my coat up as there is a soft tap on the door. Ruby starts clapping her hands excitedly.

  “I called in reinforcements!”

  I narrow my eyes suspiciously and open the door. Danny is leaning casually against the door frame, wearing a pair of black hot pants, slippers, a white vest which sets off his golden tan, and a black trilby. He is holding a bottle of wine, and there is a metal case at his feet.

  “Aunty Debs, has arrived!” he shrieks theatrically as I throw my arms around him and he lifts me off the ground.

  It’s been a few weeks since I last saw him, and it’s so good to have the old gang back together.

  “Hey baby girl! It’s been too long! Someone’s got a lot of catching up to do, start at the beginning. I haven’t seen you in forever. Aunty Debs wants all the gossip on that gorgeous rock star! Meanwhile, me and Ruby will be your fairy godmothers and help you look even more beautiful than you do now!”

  He winks, and with those words, I know things are well on their way to being back to normal.

  A few hours pass, and after a lot of gossiping, wine, primping, and preening, I don’t recognise the woman staring back at me in the mirror. I look totally different to the way I did when I came home from work. Danny, in addition to being a drag queen, is a fully qualified hair stylist. In between working at the club, he moonlights as a mobile hair dresser. My usually short brown hair is now long thanks to Danny’s hair extensions. It’s glossy and falling down my shoulders in loose waves. My natural make up is replaced with dark smoky eyes and red lipstick. My outfit consists of a short black dress with white stars all over the front. The front dips low, and it makes my boobs look amazing. My outfit is finished off with simple silver jewellery and a pair of black Iron Fist heels with a black bow and a white skull in the middle. Danny stands in my living room with one hand on his hip and the other clutching a glass of wine, admiring his handiwork. He turns to Ruby and high fives her.

  “I think our work here is done, baby mama.”

  He winks, and Ruby grins. She looks gorgeous as always; her dark hair is pulled up into a high ponytail, and she is wearing a red polka dot dress, with a white belt around her waist which accentuates her bump.

  “Those gorgeous rockers are in for a treat tonight, ladies. You’re both looking foxy. If I was straight, I’d definitely hit on both of you!” Danny compliments and we all giggle.

  I’ve had a few glasses of wine, so I feel relaxed and ready to go. Danny hands us both our bags, and right on time, the door buzzes. Ruby and I take turns at hugging Danny, thanking him for tonight. He waves us off.

  “Don’t be silly. Where else would I be but with my girls? You’re my sisters from another mister!”

  He laughs.

  “Now shoo, I’ll be round tomorrow with wine for all the gory details!”

  He blows us kisses as we leave and head down to greet Trey at the kerb.

  “Ladies.”

  He nods coolly and we both climb into the back of the black limo on route to the Roundhouse.

  33

  Peyton

  Ruby taps softly on the dressing room door.

  “Sam Newbolt, get your moody arse out here, right now!”

  I giggle at Ruby’s bluntness. Sam swings the door open, and the sight that greets me almost knocks me off my feet. Fuck me, he looks even more delicious than the last time I saw him.

  “Hi,” I say, almost unsure of myself.

  The look of awe on Sam’s face as his eyes roam over me renders me speechless. Do I have something on my face? I feel like an awkward teenager on a first date. Is it possible that Sam feels the same, or has he changed his mind?

  “Hey yourself,” he rasps, and I let out the breath I didn’t realise I was holding.

  The glint in his emerald green eyes almost reduces me into a quivering mess at his feet. He leans his large body against the doorjamb, and his tattooed muscles flex as he continues to stare at me.

  “Do I have something on my face?” I blurt out, and he laughs wickedly.

  “Quite the opposite, angel. You look…fuck…you looking absolutely stunning.”

  I feel my cheeks flush pink at his compliment, and he reaches over to idly twirl a strand of my hair in between his fingers.

  “You changed your hair.”

  He smiles, and his dimples jump into place. I nod, in awe of this man in front of me.

  “Every time I look at you, angel, you take my fucking breath away.”

  We stand there holding each other’s stare for what seems like forever, and I allow myself to get lost in Sam’s clear green pools. We are interrupted by what sounds like a school bell.

  “This is your five-minute warning. Five minutes to show time, five minutes to show time.”

  We both laugh at the timing. I hear heels clicking along the floor, and Ruby is instantly at my side. She takes me by the hand.

  “Sorry to interrupt your intense staring contest, kids, but we need to go.”

  Sam reaches over to stroke my cheek gently.

  “Until later, angel. I’ll be waiting.”

  He winks as Ruby leads me away.

  “What the fuck was that, babe? It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him like that, what did you do to him?”

  I chuckle softly.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about!”

  Ruby throws her head back and laughs.

  “You little slut! Come on let’s go and find our seats.”

  Ruby practically drags me off down the corridor and into the main vestibule of The Roundhouse. The venue is small, and intimate compared to some of the other larger venues Rancid Vengeance have played; its capacity is one thousand. It is one of the most architecturally astounding and unique spaces in the whole of London. The structure reminds me of an old nineteen thirties dance hall with an up-to-date twist. It has modern brickwork and ultra-trendy strobe lighting. The circle balcony framing the main space below delivers a fantastic vantage point that overlooks the breath-taking space below. The main space is the beating heart of The Roundhouse. The low stage is situated in the centre of the room and the boys are sound checking as the competition winners mingle excitedly with each other at the circular tables which are evenly spaced throughout the venue.

  “I thought I was going to have to break out the fire extinguisher, the sexual tension between you two was off the fucking chart, babe!”

  Ruby fans herself dramatically, and I roll my eyes.

  “Oh come on, Peyton, you’re either deaf or fucking blind if you can’t see how that boy feels about you. I haven’t seen him like this in such a long time; he’s happy, don’t take that away from him.”

  I smile at her, and I know what she’s saying is spot-on…but I can’t help thinking that it’s too good to be true, and at any moment all this - Sam, me, Freddie, the whole happy ever after - is going to be taken away.

  “We’ve been through so much, I keep thinking that it’s going to get taken away from us again. I went through hell when J.D kidnapped me. I thought I was going to die. After that, I vowed I’d never let anyone do that to me ever again, but Sam can break me, Rubes. He’s got the potential to rip my heart out, and I can’t allow that to happen; I’ve got my son to think of now.”

  Ruby narrows her eyes.
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  “Why do you do this? You constantly second guess yourself. You deserve to be happy, Peyton. You and Sam deserve your happy ending, the boy is fucking smitten with you!”

  Ruby finds our table in front of the stage, and she sits down.

  “Fuck me, I feel like a beached whale.”

  She puffs out her cheeks, and I chuckle softly. Jax spots her and flashes a cheeky grin at her. He winks, and Ruby giggles like a school girl. She blows him a kiss, and he pretends to catch it. I’m so happy that my best friend found someone she can settle down with. Her and Jax are a perfect match.

  “Look how he watches you, babe. It’s like he sees nothing but you.”

  I look up from beneath my lashes and my eyes lock with Sam’s. The green in his eyes is illuminated by the lights, making him look almost ethereal and otherworldly. He stands to his full height, and he looks especially sexy tonight. His stage outfit consists of a pair of dark jeans with a chain hanging from his belt loops, a white vest, a black leather waistcoat, and black motorcycle boots. His hair is styled into his signature messy, spiky style. He positions himself in front of his microphone, and the lights are dimmed. The crowd goes wild as he growls into the microphone. The stage is shrouded in darkness as Lucas pounds out a drum beat. The spotlight illuminates a shirtless Lucas as he throws his drumsticks up in the air and elaborately catches them with effortless ease. He taps his sticks together, and Jax joins in with a complex guitar solo as a second spotlight lights him up. Brody moves fluidly across the stage and stands back to back with Jax, accompanying his solo. The spotlight is on both men now. Ruby wolf whistles and shouts to Jax.

  “WOOOOOOO, FLASH! YOU SEXY BEAST!” she screams, and we both giggle.

  I can see the mischievous grin on Jax’s face. Suddenly, all the music stops, and the stage goes completely dark. Sam’s liquid velvet voice fills the venue, and the spotlight is on him alone. He stands proud and tall on the stage with the microphone in his hand. His eyes are closed as he sings the lyrics.

  “The night is the hardest time to be alive, 4am knows all my secrets. I can’t erase the void, the ill divide, between make believe and reality. The vitriolic agony I feel reminds me I’m still here. Digging a little deeper, into my already fragile, twisted mind.”

  As Sam’s gravelly voice washes over me, the haunting sound of Jax’s guitar accompanies Sam, the familiar pounding beat of Lucas’ drums, and the driving thrum of Brody’s rhythm guitar. I start to listen to the lyrics and it feels as if I am reliving the last year through his eyes, his voice, and his music. It is truly heart breaking.

  “Some nights I get so fucking wasted, so I don't see you in my dreams. Even in sleep, I’m never at rest.”

  As I listen to the emotion in Sam’s voice, a tear slips down my cheek. Ruby reaches for my hand and squeezes it. I catch her gaze, and she smiles softly with glossy eyes. Sam steps to the front of the stage and looks out into the crowd. He continues to sing and his green eyes lock with my blue ones, as if he singing only to me.

  The song draws to a close and the tears are streaming freely down my cheeks. Now I understand, I understand the pain he went through when he thought he had lost me. He removes the microphone from the stand, and the crowd goes wild, cheering, screaming, and stomping their feet.

  “Good evening, London! You’re all looking beautiful out there tonight. How the fuck are we doing?”

  The crowd goes crazy.

  “Yeahhh! You all know who we are by now, so no introductions are needed! We all want to say congratulations to you competitions winners and welcome you all to The Roundhouse. It’s so fucking good to be here.”

  He moves back to his microphone and puts it back on the stand.

  “Now, we’re going to do something a bit different to what we normally do.”

  Jax hands Sam his guitar and a piano is wheeled onto the stage. Jax takes his seat at the piano bench, and the crowd await anxiously as to what is going to happen next.

  “Here's the thing, the boys and me, we strictly don't do cover versions, but I felt this was fitting with where we’re all at right now, so I hope you like it.”

  They all scream in encouragement, hanging on to his every word. Sam turns to Lucas and nods curtly. He strums the opening chords and I instantly recognise the song as Apocalyptica Not Strong Enough. He plucks the strings in perfect rhythm for the introduction and bangs his hand on the guitar. Jax joins in with the piano, and Sam begins to sing acapella style.

  Sam’s eyes lock with mine, and I instantly know the song choice was deliberate. Sam's voice is gruff and so full of emotion, my heart slams against my rib cage. Brody steps to the front of the stage and begins to strum an improvised guitar solo. Sam closes his eyes and loses himself in the music as the crowd become totally enraptured by their performance. It is truly breath taking. Sam’s voice and the lyrics light me up from the inside. I can feel each lyric deep in my bones. Neither of us were strong enough to stay away from each other. Ruby nudges me, briefly breaking our eye contact.

  “That boy is so in love with you, it’s fucking sickening!” Ruby whispers, and we both giggle.

  Sam cocks his pierced eyebrow and smirks as he continues to sing. The song finishes, and he moves fluidly to the front of the stage.

  “There’s actually another reason why we’re performing this song tonight. I want to invite my girl up onto the stage.”

  Sam reaches his hand down, and I look at him questioningly.

  “Come on up, angel.”

  I look at Ruby, and she shrugs, shooing me.

  “Go get him, tiger!”

  She giggles as I get up and curiously make my way onto the stage to a chorus of cheers from the crowd. Sam takes my hand and looks to the side of the stage.

  “Can I get a stool, please?” he asks Donovan, one of the bands roadies.

  He quickly grabs a stool and rushes onto the stage to place it in the centre. Sam gestures to me to sit down, and my every nerve is tuned to him.

  “This is nowhere near as smooth as the first time I asked you, so you’re going to have to make do with just me, straight up.”

  The look in his eyes is so sincere, it makes me want to cry.

  “I loved you the minute I saw you, the day I walked into Saint Sinner Ink…that day changed my life. Not only are you the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on, you’re the mother of my son, Freddie. You’re my best friend, my lover, my rock, and my soul mate. You own me, angel. Every fucking inch of me. I’m probably going to walk out of this place with my rock star reputation in tatters, but I don’t care.”

  The crowd starts to laugh, and I chuckle softly as I swipe away a stray tear.

  “You tie me up in fucking knots. I know things haven’t been easy for us lately, but I want to spend the rest of my life making up for that. Once upon a time, I was an arse hole, and I can’t tell you how sorry I am for that. You’re my angel, Peyton.”

  He drops down on one knee, and I start to sob softly. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small square box. The ring inside takes my breath away.

  “Peyton Leigh Harper, I asked you once before, but now I’m asking again. Will you do me the honour of being my wife? Marry me?”

  The crowd gasps and starts to cat call. I am so shocked at his proposal, I find myself nodding. He moves closer to me, and his eyes are glossy.

  “Is that a yes?” he rasps, and I nod.

  “Yes! Yes! A thousand times yes!” I manage to say, and he lifts me easily off the stool.

  He takes the ring out of the box and places it on my ring finger. The crowd erupts into rapturous screams and the whole place vibrates with the noise. The boys start cheering noisily, and Ruby gets to her feet, bouncing excitedly. Sam presses his lips to mine, and his kiss is hungry as his tongue explores my mouth. He pulls away and looks into my eyes.

  “You’ve got no idea how fucking happy I am right now, angel,” he whispers and seems to forget that he still has a show to perform.

  “I love you so mu
ch, Sam.”

  I sob, and my tears are happy ones. After everything Sam and me have been through, this moment alone makes up for the year of hell we’ve both been through. With one last mind-numbing kiss, Sam pulls away.

  “I love you. I’ll come and find you afterwards, we’ve got some celebrating to do!”