Tattoos & Tears (Complete Collection)

by Amiee Louise

  “Oh Jesus, fuck, you feel like heaven.”

  I pick up my pace, moving in and out of her slick heat and fuck me, it feels so good…so right. She wraps her arms around my neck and tugs the hair at my nape. She moans softly into my ear as my pace starts to quicken. I feel her orgasm cresting to the surface, and she squeezes her inner walls around my cock.

  Fuck me, this woman is definitely going to be the death of me.

  I growl at the feeling.

  “Shit, that felt...FUCK!” I bark as I continue to piston in and out of her as she explodes around me.

  “I'm coming, fuck, Sam. Oh God, I'm coming,” she yells, and I move my hand over her mouth.

  My orgasm is right behind hers as my hot seed jets inside her, causing a second orgasm to detonate from deep within her. She cries out around my hand, and as we come down from our orgasms, the only sound is our breathless post orgasmic pants. I pull out of her, roll over, and lie down on the bed next to her. My mind starts to wander as the events of Vegas flash through my head at two hundred miles an hour. Fuck. I squeeze my eyes shut, and she crawls into my arms, as if she knows what I need. I pull her close to me, and I look into her mesmerizing, clear, blue eyes.

  “I would burn the fucking world for you, angel. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you or our son. Knowing I couldn't protect you on our own wedding day…Jesus, that fucking destroyed me, beyond recognition. Something happened outside of my control and that never sits well with me. I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.”

  The fierce determination in my voice is evident, and her eyes are shining with tears as I wrap her in my arms.

  “I'll never let anyone hurt you ever again, I fucking promise you,” I say gruffly and plant a chaste kiss on the top of her head.

  As I lie here, with my girl in my arms, I think of everything that we’ve been through in our relationship. We’ve endured more than any other couple I know, but we’ve come out stronger, and I’ll spend my life dedicated to no one but her.

  I’m one lucky motherfucker.

  42

  Peyton

  There was a time when J.D first kidnapped me that I finally accepted my fate and made peace with it. I made peace with the fact that my fate had been sealed, and that me and my baby were going to die at the hands of that sick, twisted, depraved freak who had me bound and at his mercy.

  Now, as the orange hues of the sun rising over the Pacific Ocean in M.J’s sumptuous beach lodge in The Cook Islands, I am lying awake, watching Sam sleep next to me. He looks so peaceful in his slumber, and after our marathon sex session last night, we both slept soundly for the first time in months. There wasn’t a nightmare in sight.

  There isn’t a day goes by where I don’t think of the terrible suffering and loss we all endured at the hands of Savannah Newbolt on that fateful day. My brother Dexter lost his fiancée, Grace, and Seb lost his sister, Riley. Everyone who was present on that day, whether it serious or minor, suffered an injury.

  As I watch Sam sleep, my thoughts start to wander to how far we’ve come, since we met at Saint Sinner Ink; it seems like a lifetime ago. It seems like forever since I first heard Sam utter the words “Hey beautiful”, the words that would change the course of my life, completely.

  My thoughts are temporarily interrupted by the sound Freddie’s tiny whimpers. I swing my legs out of bed and enjoy the feel of the cool, tiled floor beneath my feet. I go over to his cot to find him still sleeping, and my heart feels almost too big for my chest as I look down at the little boy that Sam and I created. I pad across the large opulent bedroom and into the en-suite bathroom. The bathroom is decorated in serene aquamarine colours, and the floor is clear, which gives me a view of the ocean beneath us. I don’t get to enjoy the tranquillity of the fishes and the low sound of the water lapping as my stomach roils. Unexpectedly, I feel like I need to throw up. I drop to my knees and empty the contents of my stomach as I vomit violently into the toilet bowl. It feels like it's never ending, until the roiling of my stomach finally ceases, and I'm dry heaving. Abruptly, the door handle rattles and there's a light tap on the door.

  “I don't like locked doors, angel,” Sam rasps softly.

  “I'm fine, babe. I'll be out in a second.”

  He sighs audibly.

  “Don't make me take the door off its hinges, sweetheart,” he growls, and I can sense the underlying panic in his voice.

  My sweet mercurial rock star is gracing me with his presence.

  I get to my feet, wipe my mouth on some toilet paper, and flush the toilet. I unlock the door as Sam crowds into the bathroom, gloriously naked, with a look of pure anguish on his handsome face. I make my way over to the sink, and he stands in front of me, tipping my chin up to face him. It is as if he is inspecting me, to make sure I'm ok.

  “Are you ok, angel?”

  I nod and smile.

  “Babe, I'm fine, honestly. I've been sick, that's all. I think it must have been something I ate. Go back to bed, I'll come and join you in a sec. I just need to brush my teeth, I have vomit breath.”

  He frowns and regards me intently as I turn on the cold tap, run my toothbrush underneath the water, and apply some toothpaste.

  “Are you sure everything’s alright?”

  The gentle concern in his voice causes my heart to slam against my rib cage. I reach up to gently caress his lightly stubbled cheek, and he leans into my touch.

  “Everything's perfect, I promise.”

  He places his hand on top of mine.

  “It fucking shreds me to think of losing you again, angel. You've ruined me for all other women, no other woman will ever come close to the way I feel about you.”

  I smile tenderly up at him, and the look in his crystal clear green eyes tells me all I need to know. I belong to Sam Newbolt. He owns me, just as I own every inch of him. No one will know the real Sam Newbolt, not the one I see in private. They get to see glimpses that he lets them see, that he wants them to see. They don’t get to see the way he gets this faraway look in his eyes when he’s inspired. They don’t get to see him in the mornings looking sleepy and God-like. I get to see every facet of Sam Newbolt, the fiancé, the father, the lover, the son, the best friend, the showman, and the shy, unsure, vulnerable, normal man he is when we’re together.

  After I put my toothbrush in the holder next to Sam's, I open the mirrored cabinet above the glass topped sink. I take out some Pepto-Bismol to help with my sickness, and the thought that crashes through me as I catch sight of the unused box of tampons almost knocks me off my feet.

  Shit, my period is late.

  Sam and I have never discussed the prospect of another baby. I had been more than surprised when I found out I was pregnant with Freddie. It's times like these when I really miss Ruby. Having a best friend, who happened to be female, always helped put things into perspective for me. I treasured the shoulder to cry on, and I valued her advice and opinions, even if they were a little harsher than she intended. That was just Ruby's way.

  The six months that have passed has seen some additions to the Rancid Vengeance family, and George, the band's tour bus driver, has become a really close friend, confidant, and ally for me. George, or Gorgeous as he likes to be called, is thirty-eight years old, six feet seven, average build, with long, shoulder length, blonde hair that reminds me of a lion’s mane, blue-grey eyes, a beard, and he speaks with a strong Bristolian accent.

  He has been a roadie for various different bands for the past fifteen years and has done everything from moving stage equipment venue to venue, to driving tour buses. He was married but is now divorced and came out as gay shortly after his marriage ended. He has a ten-year-old daughter, called Daisy, and has the dirtiest laugh I've ever heard. He's no replacement for Ruby, but along with Seb, Brody, and Danny, I consider him one of my best friends. Over the six months he has been part of our lives, I have got to know him well. His razor-sharp wit, his penchant for telling it like it is, and his dry sense of humour are what makes him unique.

/>   After the initial feeling of panic has subsided, I go back out into the bedroom to find Sam sprawled out naked across the bed, with the sheets pooled at his feet. I lick my lips at the sight of him with his hand resting on his hard, tattooed abs. I decide to leave him to sleep, and I pull on his discarded white short-sleeved shirt and head to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I get a glass from the cupboard, and as I turn around to fill my glass, I am startled by George leaning his hip against the fridge. I jump and place my free hand on my chest.

  “Jesus Christ, Gorgeous, you scared the shit out of me!”

  I hit him playfully as I take him in. He is wearing a black silk kimono with an impressive dragon stitched into the back. It’s over the top, and it suits him.

  “Sorry, my love, I didn't mean to frighten you. Say you forgive me?”

  I narrow my eyes, and he bats his eyelashes at me, causing me to giggle out loud.

  “Of course I forgive you, you tart!”

  I roll my eyes as George laughs dirtily, and I find myself laughing right along with him.

  “That laugh gets me every time, honey.”

  He folds his arms and narrows his eyes as he points his index finger at me in a circular motion.

  “Something's wrong, isn't it, my love?” he says in his soft Bristol lilt. “You can tell me. You know I'm here, if you ever need to talk.”

  Something about his gentle, calming nature makes me sag against the fridge.

  “My period is late, and I think I'm pregnant.”

  His mouth forms a perfect ‘O’ shape.

  “Shut the front door! That's fantastic, love!” he says dramatically, and I smirk at how much Ruby would have loved him.

  Those two would have got on like a house on fire.

  He stands there, with a shocked look on his face for a few seconds, then he throws his arms around me, lifts me up, and spins me around. I giggle, and I feel like I’m five years old again.

  “You two make such beautiful babies! You make me fucking sick!” he says with an elaborate sweep of his arm and rolls his eyes.

  There’s never a dull moment with George around.

  “Come on, spill, I can sense there’s something more.”

  I smile at his intuitiveness.

  “Sam and me have never discussed having more kids. What if…”

  He moves closer to me and places his finger on my lips.

  “Stop right there. The two most pointless words are ‘what if’, love. Sam adores you, anyone can see that. So what if it wasn’t planned? Life would be boring if everything was planned. My motto is, spontaneity is the spice of life,” he says with a wink.

  I laugh as we are interrupted by the appearance of Sam. I swear George swoons on the spot as he catches sight of Sam wearing just his boxers.

  “Angel,” he rasps, his voice thick with sleep. He looks from me to George and nods.

  “Gorgeous,” Sam says with a cheeky smirk.

  “Sam,” George says nervously.

  I take in all six feet four inches of pure Sam Newbolt, as if I am committing him to memory. He’s all hard, clean lines, sculpted muscles, and his boxers sit low on his hips, revealing the perfect V on his lower abdomen. I never get tired of looking at his masculine perfection. George clears his throat, breaking the silence.

  “I’ll…erm…leave you two lovebirds to it.”

  George winks, turns around, and leaves. Sam steps closer to me and wraps me in his strong arms.

  “Come back to bed, angel. I want to worship you some more,” he says huskily, his voice dripping with seduction, and I decide not to tell him about the possible pregnancy yet.

  I follow him to the bedroom and I let him worship me.

  ***

  The next day, the boys are putting some finishing touches to their new album, and I’m left to my own devices. I decide to take a boat to the mainland and go shopping with George. While we’re there, I buy a pregnancy test, and by the time we get back to the lodge, I am a bundle of nerves. I stand at the floor length window and watch the scene that is playing out in front of me. Sam is on the sand wearing a straw trilby hat, a white vest, red board shorts, and his guitar in his hands. Addison is on his lap, and she is giggling girlishly as Sam plucks the strings of his guitar. Freddie is playing at his feet and clapping his hands excitedly. I’m suddenly wracked and ravaged with an overwhelming sense of guilt.

  How the fuck could I doubt what Sam’s reaction would be, when he’s so good with his son and Addison?

  I quietly observe the scene for a few moments longer and the love I feel for the two men in my life makes my heart feel almost too big for my chest.

  “I always knew you were a voyeur, sweets.”

  I smile, and as I spin round, I’m greeted by Brody eating a bag of cheesy puffs.

  “You and that little boy are his life. You know that, don’t you? In the year you were gone, one of his major food groups was vodka. I’m surprised he wasn’t pissing it fucking neat.”

  I am taken aback by Brody’s revelation, and in that moment, I know what I have to do.

  I have to take the test, I have to know for sure.

  I smile softly, kiss him on the cheek, take one of his cheesy puffs from the bag, pop it into my mouth, and head for the bathroom. I go into the bathroom and sit down on the toilet. I take the test out of the box with trembling hands, briefly read the instructions, and I pee on the stick before I wait for the results develop.

  A few minutes pass and I look at the result, ‘pregnant’. Instead of being shocked by the result, I find myself smiling and place my hand on my stomach as I look in the mirror at my reflection. I don’t know why I didn’t realise I was pregnant. As I stare at myself in the mirror, I notice the subtle differences. My hair is glossy and falling down my shoulders in tousled, glossy waves. My sapphire eyes are sparkling, and even though they are extremely sore and tender, my boobs look incredible. This time around, I’m no longer terrified of what Sam is going to say.

  This life that is growing inside me, is the next chapter of our forever.

  43

  Sam

  Today is our last day in The Cook Islands, and after everything that’s happened within the past six months, I haven’t been this relaxed in a long time. Today is also Peyton’s twenty-ninth birthday, and I’ve spent the day spoiling her. She deserves to be treated like a fucking queen. In the time we have spent together, she has taught me that life is precious, and no matter how badly we fuck up, everyone deserves a second chance.

  To celebrate her birthday, and to end the holiday on a high note, we are all going out to dinner. I catch sight of her through the floor length window as she is looking out at the sun setting over the crystal-clear ocean, and she looks like an angel. She is wearing a black and turquoise maxi dress, and her hair is in a side ponytail. She looks contemplative as I step out onto the sand to join her. I slide my arms around her waist and rest my stubbled chin on her bare shoulder, pulling her back to my front.

  “Angel.”

  I nuzzle her neck and she chuckles softly.

  “Hey handsome,” she says quietly and turns in my arms.

  As she takes a step back, I notice she has a long, black rectangular shaped box in her hand.

  “I know it’s my birthday, but this is my gift to you, Sam.”

  I glance at her with a puzzled look on my face and take the box from her. She watches me nervously as she bites her nail. I open the box and the sight that greets me makes me gasp out loud. A pregnancy test, with the word ‘pregnant’ in the small, oblong shaped window. The smile that lights up my face almost makes my jaw ache.

  Fuck me, I’m going to be a dad again.

  “Angel…fuck,” I curse, and I lift her up in my arms.

  The smile she gives me in return melts me instantly, and her blue eyes sparkle. The look on her face…I wish I could freeze the moment and keep it until the day I die.

  “I never knew I wanted kids until I met you, Peyton. I never even knew I wanted the whole g
irlfriend thing. I was content with just using sex to get over the fact that my life was so empty and incomplete. When we first started out in the music industry, we were starry eyed, snot-nosed kids who thought the world was our oyster. After eleven years in the industry, our view on things has become somewhat jaded. The fame, the fortune, the attention, the women. Then you came along, and you changed everything. Finally, after all those years I spent feeling…nothing, I felt more love for you than anyone I’d ever met. I look at you and Freddie every single day, and I’m so fucking blessed to have you both. And now, we’re going to be parents again, I…I can’t believe it. I’m the happiest fucking man to walk this god damn earth. We got our second chance, and I’m so lucky I walked into Saint Sinner that day. It seems such a long time ago now, but it was the day my heart started beating again. I love you so fucking much. I want to spend every day showing you how much. I’m going to look after you, Freddie, and our little jellybean, because you deserve it.”