Willow From The Ashes (Children Of The Moon Book 1)

by Amelia Harding

  Chapter 43

  Hope

  A few days go by with me falling into a routine. I wake up early, help Lauren, Alesha and the rest of the ladies cook for the day. Then I take my breakfast up into the library where I remain holed up until dinnertime. I have made it a point to go down and eat with the pack or have dinner with my parents.

  It keeps me sane and connected to those around me. If it is relatively early afterward I'll make my way back to the library. Bailey came by once or twice to help but we mostly just text to keep in touch. David or Carter usually drop by at some point throughout the day to ask about any progress and share anything they may have dug up.

  I haven't seen Maximus since the night of the incident. That's actually a bit of a lie since I do in fact see him every day. Max makes it a point to make an appearance during dinner even if he doesn't stay to eat.

  I suppose what I actually mean is I haven't been alone with him since then. Not being near or interacting with him is a shot to my nerves. I have in the days following the events of that night come to terms with my feelings towards the magnanimous Alpha.

  My wolf is on the same wavelength which only makes the distance twice as difficult. Out of all the wolves in the world, I had to fall for an Alpha that most likely has a mate somewhere out there waiting for him. I suppose no one ever really decides who they develop feelings for, it just happens.

  As for my real objective, the reason I have practically lived in this library for days is slow going. There have been vague connections going back generations but all are flimsy and barely worth mentioning. I still do because it's all I have to show for my endless hours of hard work.

  I'm beginning to feel stifled and the need to attempt shifting once again invades my thoughts. My body feels tight and the sound of letting loose and running free is like heaven. My muscles ache to be stretched in ways bending can't quite do.

  The only thing that holds me back is the memory of what happened last time I thought it was a good idea to go out there on my own.

  Besides, the surrounding woods are being heavily monitored around the clock with the prisoner still being questioned on pack grounds.

  There is one way I could go and be left free to roam if I even manage to shift. It would require constructing a vague explanation as well as the off chance the person I have in mind is willing and able to accompany me.

  There's only one way to find out but I'll have to wait until later on in the night to be sure the least amount of people are still milling about.

  I know I'm playing with fire. Not only will I need to make him believe this half-truth, but I'll also be allowing my heart to grow further attached to someone I can't have. Does that change my mind? not at all.

  Chapter 44

  Maximus

  "No matter what we do, the fucker just sits there with a shit eating grin. When he does decide to talk he just rambles in circles without actually revealing anything. We're gonna leave him isolated without speaking for a few days, then we'll see if the reprieve will help break him after".

  I crack my neck trying to ease the mounting irritation "He's a tough bastard, I'll give him that. We have never had anyone withstand your interrogations for so long. Keep up your work. We will be calling a council meeting this weekend, be ready to report anything you discover between now and then". Kane bows respectfully and returns to his post.

  It is just before midnight but I won't be sleeping any time soon. Our progress has been slow practically non-existent. The frustration at not making headway only grows by the day.

  Everyone is running at full tilt and the last thing they need is to see how impatient their Alpha is getting. As long as I appear steady and calm all will continue as it should be. The worst thing when facing an unknown is to let your people waver because you seem uncertain.

  Lost in thought I barely realize I'm being drawn towards the woods. The night has a slight chill but the spring air is soothing as it brings with it the smell of fresh dew.

  The electric crackle over my tanned skin tells me all I need to know. Hope is somewhere close by and her presence is drawing me in like invisible hands sinking into my flesh.

  We each have had to concentrate on our duties, there's been no time for stolen conversations or midnight strolls. I have kept a tight lid on the yearning that persistently struggles to bubble to the surface and swallow me whole. That lid slowly comes undone as my eyes feast upon the sight before me.

  Waves that shine like onyx in the moonlight cascading down a slender back. Deep eyes like pools of silver gaze upon the sky. Graceful fingers entangled in blades of grass while a haunting melody slips through rosy lips.

  Hopes delicate face turns my way sensing my tentative approach. The smile that slides onto those tempting lips nearly stops me in my tracks. I wonder if she realizes how breathtaking she is.

  Beautiful, caring, intelligent, braver than she comprehends and witty when she wants to be. Somehow a battle-hardened wolf with blood on his hands ended up with a mate like Hope. I can't decide whether the fates are kind or cruel but I'll take it.

  I squat down before Hope still towering over her dainty figure. My hand reaches out with a mind of its own and wraps one of her silky curls around my finger. "How do you always end up alone in the woods in the dead of night?"

  Her laugh is quiet and sends a thrill through my system. I could listen to her laugh forever. "This time Its actually your fault". The sparkle in her eyes making them look like polished chrome. Clear, electric and mesmerizing. "How exactly am I at fault my lady?" My voice is low, words teasing.

  "I went to your office but you weren't there. I sensed you were outside and decided to wait out her hoping to run into you. I was hoping to ask for a favor if you weren't busy". Hopes nerves are now perceptible which only spikes my curiosity.

  Her luscious bottom lip disappears into her mouth but she quickly releases it most likely noticing how my eyes followed the gesture. The slick sheen making me want to lean in and run my tongue along it.

  "Ask for anything you would like". Focusing on her words distracts me from my previous deviant thoughts. "I would like to take you up on your offer to go for a run but I didn't want anyone around. I kind of have a...complicated situation".

  It is clear Hope is trying to choose her words carefully and that sends warning bells off in my mind. Letting the strands of hair slip through my hand I place a curled finger under her chin and lift gently so our eyes can meet. "Tell me what's wrong, I'll help however I am able to. There is no need to be anxious".

  I ignore the sparks that emanate from the point of contact just wanting to alleviate her worries. "You see, I haven't actually shifted in a long time. For some reason, my wolf stopped responding for a while. I can't really explain it. We connected again but its been long enough since the last time I shifted that I'm not completely sure what will happen when I try again. I guess I just don't wanna be alone when I try".

  Hope speaks slowly, her eyes trying to gauge my reaction. I keep my features cool and composed as to not reveal all the different thoughts running through my head. I don't think I have ever heard of a wolf simply refusing to head to its masters' call. There are very few things in this world that could ever disrupt that connection. The biggest question of all is how it went undetected.

  There are so many things I want to say or ask. Questions that burn to escape but now is not the time. My mate came to me. She's apprehensive and perhaps a little scared.

  She could have gone to her parents, Bailey or even David who she seems to get along with well. Hell, she's even formed a relationship with Carter. In fact, he seems to see much more of Hope than I do. Much to my annoyance.

  Out of all of them, she came to me and that has to mean she has trust in me. The questions can wait for a different occasion. I put my hand out, palm up, and stand. For a second she simply looks at my offered hand before taking it and using it to pick herself up.

  "I know there's more to the story than what you are sharing. I won't pre
ssure you to tell me now. I'm confident you will when you are ready. What I can do is be here to help you. You don't have to worry, I'll be by your side".

  Hope casts her eyes down but not before I see the wetness contained in them. When she looks back up they have been blinked away and a look of gratitude that melts my very soul has replaced them.

  "Thank you" is all she breathes out and we silently walk deeper into the darkness. Nothing else exists but us and the creatures that dwell within the forest.

  Chapter 45

  Hope

  I can't believe I went through with it and asked. The anxiety while I waited for his reaction was nearly unbearable. I sent a silent thanks to whoever heard my prayers when Maximus didn't delve in any deeper.

  Like with Bailey, I gave the most simplified version of the truth. Unlike with Bai though, I didn't try to hint at anything. We may have some kind of chemistry but Daniel is still his brother.

  My hand in his feels so small and fragile but he never treats me like something that will break. I think that's one of the things I like about Max, he's protective without belittling which is a difficult balance to strike.

  I feel so safe walking beside him even if a part of me is still nervous about shifting. The nerves are overridden by the sheer excitement at the notion of being able to run freely.

  That is, until I realize I didn't bring a change of clothes. Which means I'll have to strip unless I wanna have to walk back naked.

  Why didn't I think this through?! When I didn't find Maximus in his office I basically decided it was a sign I should keep waiting. That's when I went outside to sit and felt him nearby. Any thought of bringing a spare outfit was thus forgotten.

  I could ask Maximus to turn around but if there's an issue during the shift or if I need him as an Alpha to trigger it, he'll have to be facing me. I go around my mind in circles like that just letting him lead me away.

  As soon as we come upon a clearing obscured by a willow tree I register where we are. We're by the river where he found me after the pack gathering. It's funny how long ago that seems.

  Moving some of the branches at the opening that leads into the clearing helps conceal the area a little and I appreciate the gesture. Now here we are standing face to face and I groan involuntarily.

  "Is something wrong?" Maximus voice reveals genuine concern and it makes me feel so silly. Why am I being self-conscious? wolves shift completely nude in front of each other all the time. It is completely natural in our society.

  Besides I'm sure he has been with so many women, all of which have the same parts I do. Somehow instead of making me feel better I just feel more embarrassed. If that's the case then it also means he's seen plenty of women with much better bodies than mine. I'm just barely starting to fill out after years of neglecting it.

  Looking up I flush an ugly pink shade coming to the realization that he had asked what was wrong and I proceeded to stand there in complete silence for a full minute.

  This is so not how I planned for this to go in my head. What had I planned? Oh yeah, nothing. Yet somehow this is still worse than nothing.

  Sighing heavily I look away refusing to meet Maximus gaze. "Nothing, I just realized that I didn't fully think things through. I mean...I didn't really bring a change of clothes. Not that it matters I mean its normal to undress when you shift. It's not like you'll care and I'm totally cool with it so its...whatever". I finish lamely and wish for once I was the confident aloof type.

  "I'll keep my back turned if it will make you feel more relaxed. It is important that you aren't tense when you try to shift. I do not want you getting hurt". Maximus deep gentle tone is like an embrace and I let it be what anchors me.

  "No, it's alright. If you're facing away...I'll feel like I'm alone. I'm not gonna pretend like I don't feel a little awkward, I haven't shifted in front of anyone since becoming a teenager".

  I realize my slip up after the words have already left my mouth but try to cover it up by starting to undress. Maximus to his credit obviously wants to enquire but stops himself.

  It may be true that being nude when shifting is standard, it will still take some time before I'm accustomed to it so I'll be leaving my bra and underwear on. I don't care if they shred, I'll be putting clothes on to walk back where I'll get to shower and change for bed.

  I can feel Maximus watching my every move. I will my body to relax and appear unaffected and self-assured. The opposite of what I was currently experiencing. His gaze is searing a trail over my body with every move I make.

  It sends heat coursing through my veins and I don't dare make eye contact. No longer because of embarrassment but because I don't want Maximus to see the longing that will no doubt be shining through my eyes.

  Leaving my shorts, tank top and jacket in a pile I kneel on the ground sitting on my legs clad in boy shorts and a bralette still unsure of what to do next.

  Closing my eyes I take a deep breath to prepare myself. When I open them again Maximus had silently made his way over to me so he is now kneeling in front of me.

  "Do you remember the feel of shifting? What you thought of to trigger it?" Maximus voice is thick and the slightest bit strained but I barely register it just honing in on his words. I nod my head slowly, it's like a distant memory that I remember happening to someone else but it is still there.

  "Good, now feel your wolf and connect to her. Let her flow through you. Feel your body and spirit become one with each other". Maximus voice is soothing and his instruction keeps me grounded. I go into the space where I can touch and feel my wolf. Where we left off before Daniel barged in that night.

  I give myself over letting my wolf take over. My skin feels like its burning from the inside out. With grotesque cracks, my bones seem like they're fracturing and rearranging themselves. I want to scream but bite down. If there's one thing I have become good at throughout the years its enduring pain.

  "Look at me Hope". Maximus voice breaks through all the pain and I look up into his eyes falling into them as if they were my solace. I vaguely feel his touch somewhere on my body but it is his eyes that serve as a buoy in the sea of agony.

  Slowly my body shifts and morphs until I feel sweet relief. I lay for a second feeling exhausted and sore but looking down at black paws dipped in molten silver bring about a kind of joy I could never possibly explain.

  Chapter 46

  Maximus

  The last hour has been the strangest mix of emotions I have ever encountered. I went from frustrated at the report from Kane to happiness at finally getting Hope alone again. Then watching her undress took me to lust filled heights closely followed by the helplessness of watching your mate in pain.

  Hope handled every ounce of hurt better than most grown men I've encountered. She didn't cry out or scream but it was etched upon her stormy eyes. Mixed with my irritation at not being able to take her suffering away was the metallic taste of my anger.

  No one should have to go through the pain of adjusting to the shift twice. Your body doesn't forget something like that easily. It had to have been years since the last shift with other factors compounded on each other. All of that is put on the backburner when I finally get to see Hope in her wolf form.

  She is beautiful and regal with fur as dark as the night and silver tipped paws, eyes bright and piercing like lightning. Reaching out I carefully stroke the fur on her head feeling her nudge against my hand. How I wish we could communicate. My own wolf claws at my insides begging to be let free so we can run together.

  I resist only because I can tell the toll it took. Hope is joyfully sprinting around the clearing now but it is evident she's lacking the energy for a full run. For the time being, I sit and watch until her graceful form slides up against me and drops down to rest against my leg.

  "Looks like it may be time to shift back little wolf. Its been a rough night for you and you need to rest". Hope nudges me with her head evidently not wanting to move. "Sleeping outside isn't an option with current conditions and
we make it a rule not to be in wolf form inside the house. If you're too tired to walk you can shift back and I'll happily carry you naked up to bed".

  It may have sounded like teasing but I damn sure meant it. Carrying her up to my bed instead sounded like an even better idea. After a minute Hope moved to where her clothes were piled and shifted back with only the slightest difficulty. It will take doing it a few times before it is second nature again.

  I keep my eyes averted, there's no official reason for me to have to watch anymore much to my disappointment. I feel the shift in the air as she dresses and think back to her elegant fingers removing that same clothing not too long ago.

  Hopes steps bring her towards me and I'm momentarily taken aback when she bends down behind me and hugs me, her hands resting together against my chest. "Thank you for being here" Hope breathes out and I take her hand in mine softly squeezing it.