Willow From The Ashes (Children Of The Moon Book 1)

by Amelia Harding

  Daniel lifts his hand and looks at me with a smirk. "I meant no harm and I would never criticize. After all, I'm not even in charge of my own pack anymore. You were always supposed to be the Alpha anyway, not me. I was just wondering. White Thorn may not be under my command at the moment but I still care about the members being in possible danger. I just want to be kept in the loop is all".

  "I can understand that. Well then, why don't we talk about the White Thorn pack? We haven't really had the opportunity to sit down and chat". I ease any tension that may be held in my muscles and relax into my chair.

  Daniel isn't as hard to read as he thinks but he isn't someone I can just rip into. This is my baby brother despite feeling like a complete stranger at the moment.

  "Sure, we can do that. Ask anything you want". I study my brother now a man and struggle to reconcile that with the image of the boy I left behind.

  The intelligent, kind, giving boy I had always known. I could start poking and prodding him about all the failures and mishandlings we have uncovered but all that will do is create a bigger rift between us.

  "How was it, taking over the pack? Dad seemed to pass it on as soon as he could". His ever-present cool facade falls away for just an instant before he recovers. It is obvious that wasn't the route he expected me to take.

  "It was fine I guess. The old man was just ready to retire. I was undoubtedly not his first choice but I did what I had to".

  "Being Alpha is not easy, at some point you must have realized you needed help. I would have helped you. Why did you wait until everything was falling apart?"

  This time something akin to anger flashes through Daniels' eyes. "It is a leaders job to handle the situation and fix things. Crawling to my big brother would have done nothing but make me look like an incompetent Alpha".

  "Leaders also know when to admit they need help for the well being of those under him. There is no shame in turning to people you trust for aide".

  This time he snorts loudly in indignation. "Trust? It's hard to trust someone who just takes off and leaves you behind to take on the mess they didn't want".

  Finally, some truth. "You are right about that and I won't deny it. I knew the White Thorn pack needed a cleansing. There were many that should have been ripped out root and stem. The entire pack was being poisoned by an internal cancer. Beta Lawson knew it and tried to council father but the once great Alpha I knew refused to see it.

  Breaking it all down to rebuild was the only way but my hands kept getting tied and I decided to go off on my own. Believe me, after I left I thought father would take a hard look at the state of things and realize there was no way he could pass it on to you without fixing things first".

  Emotions flicker across Daniels face too quickly to grasp onto any single one. "Yet he did and I made the most of it. I tried to fix what I could with my own power".

  "You financially crippled the pack and gave free rein to your Beta and Gamma who only further exacerbated the issues". "No risk, no reward. The investments I made could have brought an entirely new period of prosperity to the pack".

  "All risk, no reward sounds more like it. Did any of you seek counsel with any of the trusted elders? At some point, every Alpha needs humility in order to grow. I know my decision to leave was selfish despite having my reasons and I own up to those. That does not mean I will not hold you accountable for the danger you placed your pack in".

  Daniel raises out of the chair and stalks angrily to the front of my desk "The danger I placed them in? I should have never had to lead them in the first place. That wasn't my fucking job. I could do whatever the fuck I wanted with White Thorn. I may not have made all of the best decisions but all I was trying to do was fix it just enough so that you'd want to take over the dumpster fire the pack became.

  I never wanted this bullshit and yeah, at some point I lost control of it. The worse it got the more I doubled down that way I didn't have to admit what a miserable failure it had all become".

  "And some probably paid dearly during your spiral into misery" The statement was plain and the implication clear. "None of this would have ever happened. I would never have become this person I can't turn back from. I would still have the brother I looked up to if-"

  Daniel stops himself and I stand meeting his stance but towering a good five inches above him needing to hear what he was about to say. "If what Daniel? I have to know what you think could have prevented all of this".

  With the thumb and index finger of his left hand, Daniel pinches the bridge of his nose. "If you had a reason to stay. If that reason had been good enough to make you stay. But, it wasn't. If it had been different, someone better, it could have made you stay. It wasn't good enough for you and now it has ruined our relationship too. Everything wrong in my life is because it couldn't make you stay".

  Daniels words are so jumbled and erratic that it is hard to make sense of them. "What do you mean Daniel? I'm trying to get it all out in the open so we can move forward. We are still family, you are still my brother. Trust in me. I had multiple reasons for agreeing to take the White Thorn pack on and one of them was because I needed to find a way to make things right".

  Backing away Daniel roughly rubs a hand over his head "Forget it, what's done is done. I'll fix it so nothing can get between us working things out". Without leaving me a chance to reply Daniel turns and storms out leaving me bewildered.

  We had waited too long to speak and all that did was make everything burst out without solving anything. Instead of clearing the air and finding a safe common ground to move forward together we just went around in circles.

  There is something unstable within Daniel and I once again curse myself for failing as an older brother. Any way I look at it part of his failure will always be my fault and I will spend the rest of my life trying to atone for it.

  All I can hope now is that from here on out I can be the leader everyone depends on, the brother Daniel needs and the mate Hope deserves.

  Whatever happens, I can not allow those I care about to suffer and that includes helping Daniel face whatever demons are eating him up inside before he lets them loose.

  Chapter 55

  Hope

  The deeper I delve into this journal, the more interesting it becomes. It's so strange reading these accounts being written as they're happening from such an insiders viewpoint.

  The Kings aren't just listing off factual events but instead adding their own musings and turmoil. It is history from an intimate perspective and it makes it all seem more real and personal.

  It is also interesting how much writing styles differ. You can almost feel the given Kings personality in the way they write and what they choose to focus on. I have been reading since the morning and have yet to make an enormous amount of progress.

  After getting home from the diner last night I had picked up the journal and read until I fell asleep then once again resumed once morning came.

  The details they were able to fit within these pages are amazing and I wish I had been alive to know each King. One thing that has become abundantly clear is that every King, despite their vast differences and spanning many generations, has one thing in common. Sacrifice.

  Each King has had to know sacrifice in some form. Each has had to bear the weight of remaining strong while having to sacrifice more than the people they lead would ever know.

  They no longer feel like historical figures to me but real living breathing men that I connect to. A part of me feels guilty because I have exclusively been reading the journal which may or may not even help in our search.

  But, I keep being pulled to it. Hopefully, it does lead to something. Either way, I'm forced to put it down to get ready to meet up with Bailey, Kaida, and Alesha.

  Tucking it in a safe hiding spot in my closet I begin sifting through the hangers trying to decide what to wear. I pick out a sundress that ends a little past mid-thigh and pair it with suede camel booties and a denim jacket for the spring night breeze.

 
; Finger brushing my curls I leave them loose and grab a small camel colored crossbody bag that I slide my phone and extra things into.

  We all end up riding together in Alesha's Audi A4. The car is sleek, elegant, and cool in every way. Compact yet luxurious and comfortable.

  All in all, I love it and how smooth the ride was made me wish I could test drive it. Although, that would mean I'd have to actually get my license. I really should get on that.

  The building itself is by a large lake with a slanted roof and full-length windows along the front and sides. There is no huge sign announcing the restaurant just a simple clean design on one of the windows with the restaurants' name.

  We can see clearly into the building before even walking in and its obvious the place is packed. When you walk in there's a long counter with seating to the left completely filled with patrons.

  To the right and back there are tables though and we are able to snag a private one towards the back corner.

  Alesha is the only one of us old enough to drink so she orders sake for herself and some edamame for the table as a starter. Bailey, Kaida and I are dressed nicely but still casual while Alesha is sporting a red satin blouse tucked into a black pencil skirt and her makeup is soft and understated.

  "Thanks for starting us off. By the way, you look great! I love the pop of red" I compliment Alesha and she smiles. "Thank you, I do try. I got done showing a property just before we all met up. We're only a couple of days into the week and I already needed this night out" Alesha jokes while massaging her shoulder lightly.

  "Oh, so you work in real estate? I can definitely see you being great at that. I have a feeling you can negotiate your way out of anything". Alesha flashes a mischievous smile but doesn't deny it "I'll just say I'm very good at what I do".

  "That's how we got our land actually. Ale was helping Maximus secure it and met my brother during one of the showings. Lucky for us that pretty much tied her to Onyx moon" Kaida explains playfully but there is obvious affection there for her sister in law.

  "Lucky is right. They were just starting out from scratch. There was so much work to get established that I wasn't interested in getting involved. Then Kane appeared and my behind wasn't going anywhere. So, I figured I might as well join and help. Doesn't change the fact that it was rough there for a bit".

  "Yeah, I remember my parents saying they waited until they were sure Onyx Moon was stable before taking the leap to move" Bailey adds and I can completely understand them wanting reassurance before tying their family to the pack.

  "It's kind of insane when I think about it. Usually, it takes decades to achieve what Onyx moon has in a single decade. If it's ever achieved at all" We're clearly trying to avoid using the word pack with all of the people around who could possibly overhear.

  "It wasn't easy by any means but everyone that was brought in was motivated and dedicated which helped us push forward. We tried to be smart and Max kept us all going in the right direction. Looking back even with Kane set aside I'm still glad I took the chance and joined. Now everyone here is my family and I can't imagine being anywhere else" Alesha confesses with tenderness in her voice.

  Just then our edamame arrives along with the drinks. I'm not entirely sure what to expect but Kaida and Bailey show me how to eat it.

  The edamame has coarse salt sprinkled on it and you use your teeth to pop the beans from the pod into your mouth while also scraping the salt from the outside of the pod.

  I find that I really like the flavor of them like peas but with a bit of nuttiness and then the pop of salt just adds an extra touch. The texture is also nice since they are soft but still firm enough that they aren't mushy. Alesha definitely chose well.

  For the rest of the meal, Alesha, Bailey and Kaida order shared platters for the table and I simply enjoy getting to discover all these new flavors. I quickly decide that I love Japanese cuisine or at least what I was able to sample tonight.

  Somewhere between the clam miso soup, assorted sushi plate, and vegetable tempura I fell in love. Somehow in sharing and passing around the food while we laugh and converse a sense of closeness envelops the table. Bailey shares the story of how she got the scar on her knee which involves a big wheel and a series of events only Bailey could bring about.

  Alesha tells us about growing up in a big Caribbean family while also being werewolves. One element is lively enough then you add the other and it made for some amazing stories.

  Kaida mostly disclosed embarrassing stories about Kane growing up which had us in stitches. I haven't spoken to the stoic Enforcer but I've seen him around enough that it is hard to imagine him as anything but poised and serious.

  By the end of the meal, we're full and happy with the menu for my birthday decided. It's the only detail I get to know but I'll take it.

  On the drive back we make plans to go dress shopping the following afternoon since Bailey has a half day and all of Alesha and Kaida’s work is in the morning. I make a mental note to tell mom so she can come along with us.

  It feels like mere minutes before I'm being dropped off and wave the ladies goodbye. The spring breeze tousles my hair and I close my eyes enjoying the night air with a contented smile on my lips. I'm not entirely certain how long I stood there until I force myself to walk in and up to my room.

  Chapter 56

  Hope

  Dropping my bag on top of the dresser I go to start undressing when I notice a note on the ground by the door. Someone must have slid it in and I stepped over it when entering. Bending down I retrieve the piece of paper and unfold it.

  I believe I was promised a run. Come join me tonight after you get home. Only if you want to, of course. I hope to see you but will understand if you decline. I will be in our spot waiting until midnight.

  -M

  My heart speeds up and my stomach does an annoying little flip. For the last few days, I have tried not to think about Maximus too much.

  With my birthday quickly approaching I'm tempted every day to come out and demand to know if my suspicions are true. I'm beyond believing what I feel is a simple crush.

  There is something strong that pulls us together, a connection that I cannot deny. I also doubt Maximus would treat me as he does if there was nothing between us.

  I momentarily lie to myself about considering the offer. Deep down I know full well that not going was never actually an option in my mind.

  Before rushing down to the clearing by the river that I assume is our meeting spot I contemplate if I should take a change of clothes this time so I can shift without changing and just consider this outfit a goner.

  In the end, I decided against it. He has already seen me in my underwear and besides, I really like this outfit and would hate to tear it to shreds.

  Not bothering to grab my phone or purse figuring they will just get in the way I happily bounce down the stairs while trying not to bring attention to myself as I head into the woods.

  It isn't too late so there are plenty of people around. In fact, David happens to be just outside the backdoor when I skip out and throws me a wink which makes me think he knows exactly what's up.

  The woods also seem to be abuzz although that is pretty common. It would have to be much much later before it empties save for whatever Enforcers are patrolling.

  Thankfully, the spot I am meeting Maximus is further into the territory than most members casually spend time in. The location makes it fairly private so I doubt we'll be seen by anyone.

  I smell Maximus before even approaching the clearing. The scent that is distinctly his that I've grown to love is completely unique.

  Somehow fresh and cool yet mysterious and sensual like an expert blend of Sichuan Pepper, Ambroxan, and Star Anise with a hint of Vanilla. Like the nighttime coolness as twilight breaks, it enthralls me and I could never get sick of it.

  When I finally walk through into the clearing Maximus is already in wolf form lazily laying by the river, his eyes watching as I get closer. I take the opportunity
to kneel by the massive wolf that is nearly my size and sink my fingers into his fur.

  The color is magnificent and almost seems to shine in the moonlight like strands of gold. He lets out a loud breath and relaxes into my touch as I scratch his head behind his ears with one hand and run the other over his side.

  We stay like that a long while before he nudges me in a silent order to shift so we can run. Leaning in I bury my face in his soft fur giving Maximus a hug pulling away afterward so I could undress and leave my clothes folded somewhere safe keeping my underwear on.

  The shift this time is uncomfortable but not painful like the sensation of stretching an aching muscle. It is also much quicker although not as smooth and instantaneous as it should be with time. Once in my wolf form, I playfully nip at Maximus and take off running with him hot on my heels.