Apocalypse For Realz

by Bella Street

  Seffy tried to process the avalanche of information. “Fiona has dark brown hair.”

  “She colors it. Never liked her natural shade”

  “If...if I look so much like her when she was younger why doesn't she recognize me?”

  He considered her words. “You arrived with blonde hair and blue eyes. She might still think of you that way because she can't consider the alternative. We all know humans are adept at deceiving themselves.”

  Trent once said she resembled Fiona. Seffy suppressed a shiver.

  “After confirming your identity, I felt better, knowing you'd been adopted by the mayor. He could offer you a life I never could, and I didn't want to disrupt your life that way—at least until you turned eighteen. So, I decided to try to find Verity again. When I failed yet again, I decided to check on you. But you had disappeared.”

  “After graduation,” she said dully, “I moved and changed my name, along with the others.”

  “Yes,” he said, shadows flitting across his face. “I was too late, in every possible way. It was then my research led me to an article about the mayor. A scandal had erupted over his abuse of the young daughter of his secretary.”

  “I never heard about that,” Seffy said faintly.

  “He was hounded out of office after you and your friends were already gone. As soon as I heard about that, I knew most likely...you'd been a victim, too.”

  Seffy swallowed, not sure how she felt about this new revelation.

  “When I realized what you'd gone through, I followed your path to California and finally located Verity. She was belligerent and uninterested in coming back. So I begged her to help me find you—but I used your new name and said you were a cousin that might lead me to my daughter.”

  “Why?”

  “How could I trust her after what she did? But I made another mistake. I later realized she figured out I had the ability to go backwards in time.”

  Sighing, Seffy rubbed her head. What a mess. “How did you find me?”

  “I found out Verity had located my 'cousin.'”

  “So then you hauled my ass back to the scene of the crime.”

  “I brought you to me. So I could explain.” His face flushed. “Or something.”

  “Like find redemption?” She didn't bother to hide the contempt she felt.

  “Seffy, I'm the one who precipitated everything that's made your life difficult. I'm the one who's failed.”

  Her eyes flashed up at him. “That's what happens when you play around with drugs and freak science. Kids, just say no.”

  Fenn acknowledged her comment with a slight nod, but Seffy wasn't in a forgiving mood. She looked away.

  “There's no way I can ever make up for what has happened to you, and there's no way I could ever apologize enough, but Seffy, I did try. You weren't abandoned. I never stopped looking.”

  She faced him. “Semantics. Besides, it's all pointless when history will simply repeat itself.”

  “I don't believe that's true. After I located you, I sent myself back to the time before everything went south, then brought you here.” He rubbed his forehead. “One thing I discovered is that time is not as linear as I supposed. If you imagine time behaving like woven fabric, then I've been able to pick out one thread...for my purposes, without disrupting the overall fabric.”

  Seffy offered a bored look. “What does that mean? Fiona doesn't die this time?”

  Closing his eyes, he pulled in a breath. “I hope so. I'll see that she's treated early on to prevent pre-eclampsia.”

  “Yay, for you guys.” She bit her lip, sarcasm giving way to fear. “So will I be as screwed up as I am now?”

  “I don't understand.”

  “Is there something wrong with me?”

  “If you're referring to the effects of cancer and drug use on you as a fetus?”

  She shrugged, her shoulders tight. “Maybe that's why I messed up so much. Maybe that's why I was broken.”

  His gaze softened. “I believe your difficulties were due to...the abuse you suffered.”

  Seffy forced herself to regard him with dry eyes. “What about the seizures? The bad blood?”

  A faint tinge of shame crossed his features. “According to your friends, and confirmed by my staff, your seizures where not chemical. It was due to—”

  “Yeah, the abuse, I get it.”

  He took a breath. “About your blood, Olga believes there was something in your chemistry that was triggered when you first came through the wormhole. Something that may have originally been caused by my drug-use or the leukemia from time-travel, or the combination thereof. But I'm hoping that any anomalies remain dormant as you won't be going back and forth like I did.”

  “Gosh, I hope you're right since you have no actual facts anything will turn out better than it has.”

  “Seffy, circumstances will be different this time. I've made financial and custodial arrangements that if something happens to me or Fiona, you will be provided for...for the rest of your life.”

  “Did you ever ask yourself whether I wanted to go through all this again?” she said through gritted teeth. “Your plea for redemption just sounds like pure arrogance to me.”

  “You already exist, Seffy. By definition if we're having this conversation, Fiona had to get pregnant. All I wanted was to alter circumstances so...so...” He shook his head, struggling with emotion. “I had to try, don't you see?”

  “What I see is that I'll be paying the price for your little experiment. Nothing new there.”

  His face darkened. “It wasn't supposed to turn out this way. I was only trying to change events before anything went wrong. I had to bring you here before Verity discovered who you really were.”

  Seffy swung her gaze toward the wall. Would I have met Trent if we hadn't been brought here? I did once in the tangent. And Trent had planned on asking me out when he was clean. So we would've met, and I believe eventually gotten together.

  What might have been if Fenn hadn't played God? What sweetness was turned to bitter because of the compound's intervention? She turned back to Fenn, her eyes hot, not buying his convoluted reasoning. “You make me sick.”

  The color in his face deepened. “That's a perfectly reasonable response.”

  She threw up her hands. “Thanks for the validation that I'm not crazy on this one, because sometimes I get all that confused.”

  Fenn ignored her tone. “Seffy, I don't believe history has to repeat itself. I believe the outcome will be for the better.”

  “I already told you Trent and I died in the tangent,” Seffy said. “And there's only one way for this to end here. We're both dead.”

  “As I said, Trent died from an overdose in the tangent, but here, he died protecting you. Already that's a huge difference. And your friends are still alive.”

  “That's a coincidence. People have tried to kill them, too.”

  “Exactly! Verity is the one sending killers to get rid of you to close the time-tear so she can stay in the future forever. We stop Verity, we stop the killing and the future rewrites itself.”

  “But how do we stop Verity?”

  Fenn's smile faded. “That's why you need to go back.”

  Chapter Twenty

  As much as Seffy wanted to despise Fenn for his choices, she knew her own had been as bad. She'd always taken the path of least resistance, always leaned when she might've stood on her own two feet.

  Through the horror of abuse and shame, she'd allowed Gareth to become stunted—to feed off her neediness.

  Now he might never be able to move beyond the past.

  She almost certainly wouldn't have without Trent bullying her into the future.

  And now she was faced with a terrible choice—one she knew she wasn't ready to make. And this time she had no one to lean on, no one to take away the sting.

  Her thoughts in a whirl, and her heart in tatters, Seffy sought a reprieve in the Light Room—it was the furthest she could get from the compound.r />
  But Lani and Addison had beat her to it.

  They started guiltily when she appeared over the edge from the ladder. Seffy tried not to let her disappointment show.

  “We can leave,” Lani said quickly, sitting up.

  Addison nodded in agreement but otherwise looked reluctant.

  Seffy stepped into the room. “I told you, you guys can come up any time.”

  “It's just so pretty,” Lani said, leaning back into the cushions and gazing up at the lights. Her dark hair spread out from her head. If anyone looked like an angel, it was her.

  Addison sent Seffy an apologetic smile from where she sat cross-legged under the skylight. “And then there's that whole fresh air thing.”

  Seffy glanced at the skylight—opened a few inches. “Just remember to close it when you're done. We got rained out once.”

  “Sounds like you've had all kinds of adventures up here,” Lani said wistfully.

  Dropping onto the cushions next to the girls, Seffy looked out the skylight, noticing the frantic color mutations bubbling above. How long could that go on? Eventually the simmer would boil over and then what?

  Addison leaned on one elbow. “Did Gareth tell you about his 'discovery?'”

  “About the fake information from Eugene?”

  “Yeah. He had Gareth following a bunch of rabbit trails. Question is, was it on purpose or is everyone just that dumb around here?”

  “Probably a little bit of both,” Lani said with a sigh.

  Exhaustion pulled at Seffy, so she sought the open space between the girls and stretched out. Lani scooted next to her and pressed her cheek against her shoulder. Closing her eyes, Seffy could almost imagine Trent next to her. But he wasn't. It was time she got that through her head.

  “Another thing Gareth has been talking about is us possibly returning home soon.” Addison's bleak tone didn't match her hopeful words.

  “Wonder what it will be like?” Lani said. “Do you think any time will have passed or will we return on the same day we left?”

  “I doubt even Eugene and the nerd herd know,” Addison said.

  No one spoke for several moments. Above, the wind moaned across the opening of the skylight.

  “Do you think we'll ever be able to go back to the way it was?” Lani asked.

  Addison snorted. “Are you serious? Everything's changed. Nothing will ever be the same.”

  “What does that mean?” the brunette persisted.

  “Lani, do you think Gareth will treat Seffy like nothing ever happened?”

  Seffy watched pink plasma stretch, separate, and undulated across the sky.

  Nothing will ever be the same. They're marked the moment they lose hope.

  What are you afraid of?

  Everything.

  “Yeah, I guess that's true. Does that mean you'll move out, Sef?”

  Move out? Move on? “I don't know,” Seffy said quietly. “It's hard to think too far into the future.”

  Or the next minute, hour, day.

  “I just wish there was some way Malone could come with us.”

  “Lani, he'd hate L.A,” Addison said. “Think about it.”

  Another deep sigh. “Probably. On one hand, I suppose I shouldn't have pursued him. I was too impetuous. On the other, I don't want to leave him behind.”

  “I'm pretty sure only those who've come through the wormhole get to go back. Right, Sef?”

  She swallowed. “I'm not sure.”

  “Then maybe I'll just stay behind.”

  A blob of pink popped and shimmered above them. Probably not such a good idea.

  “I just don't know how we'll all fit back together,” Addison said. “And what about Verity? Assuming she didn't follow us through the wormhole, she's still there, waiting to cause trouble once we do return.”

  “Maybe we can talk Gareth into kicking her out of our group,” Lani said.

  “I thought she was your new bosom buddy,” Addison said.

  “No, we just got along better than you and Seffy did. That's all.”

  Addison snorted. “Well, this is a stupid conversation. Until we get back, making plans is a moot point.”

  “Or, maybe we'll end up in a tangent universe like Trent and Seffy and have a fresh start.”

  Seffy closed her eyes. Where we died apart from each other?

  It was Addison's turn to sigh. “So what happens when we run into our tangent selves?”

  “We'll just claim to be long lost twins!”

  “Wow, Lani. You've outdone yourself there.”

  “I'm just trying to think positive, unlike some pessimistic people.”

  “I'm not a pessimist,” Addison retorted, “I'm a realist.”

  “Here we go,” Lani said dramatically.

  Seffy listened to their banter, wishing she could join in.

  But how did she tell her friends that the future was already set?

  And that it was nothing like they imagined.

  ***

  Olga walked into Seffy's room the next day, a careful expression in place. “Thanks for seeing me. I know you must be frustrated still having to give blood samples.”

  Seffy shrugged and closed the door. She hadn't been able to sleep after returning to her room. Lani and Addison's questions and theories swirled in her mind like the lava sky, deepening her discouragement.

  Deepening her loss of hope.

  But I can't let that happen.

  Olga set up her equipment on the desk, then gloved up.

  “So,” Seffy said, “how's Fenn? Still alive? Or now sick with a whole new disease?”

  “Alive,” the nurse said primly. “Thanks to you.”

  Seffy snorted and rolled up her sleeve as she sank onto the chair. “What new plots and plans has he devised since he's been given a new lease on life?”

  Olga sighed and readied the syringe. “He's not your enemy.”

  Seffy wondered if the nurse knew the true details of their relationship. She knew more than Fiona at any rate. “You've said that before. So who is Fenn if he's not my enemy?”

  “Someone who cares for you, believe it or not.”

  “Why should he care for me, a stranger?”

  The needle pierced her skin. Seffy winced.

  “You know you're not just a stranger. But I think it best if certain details remain unspoken for the time being.”

  Seffy watched the dark fluid wash into the collection tube. “So you've known all along?” She peeked up at the nurse, carefully scrutinizing her expression.

  “Of course. Why do you think he assigned me to you? He knew he wouldn't be able to watch over you the way I would, so he asked me to take you under my wing.”

  “How convenient seeing as I have bad juju blood and you're a crazy smart blood doctor.”

  “I see it as more expedient than convenient.”

  “Does Fiona know your true purpose?”

  Olga slid the needle out and capped the tube. “Which purpose, exactly?”

  “The scientist part.”

  “She knew I had a lab and assumed I was involved in chemistry. She wanted me to develop the substance to be used to subdue the compound residents.”

  “So you were behind that!”

  “I already told you I wasn't. But I can see you don't believe me.”

  “Olga, you came up with the zombie virus. Is developing an aerated chill pill beneath you?”

  “One is science with the intention of good, and the other is an excuse to control people. Remember, Popov stole the zombie virus.”

  “So who was responsible for the chemicals in the food and air?”

  “I suspect Jared and Eugene were behind that little enterprise. Don't forget, I was influenced by it like everyone else.”

  Seffy had forgotten about that. “Does that mean Bob still hasn't returned your calls?”

  The nurse didn't answer but she did put the bandage on extra tight.

  Guess not.

  She stared at the older woman, wonderi
ng how much she knew about Fenn's past. “Were you ever going to tell me? About Fenn?”

  Olga firmed her lips. “I was hoping it never came to that. I was hoping he'd get you back to California where you all belong.”

  “I belong with Trent. That's all I want.”

  The nurse turned her head away for a moment. When she face Seffy, her eyes were shiny behind her glasses.

  Then she pulled her into a sudden, hard hug.

  Seffy had to force the stiffness from her muscles and accept the embrace. But she was afraid of what it meant. Was this some kind of goodbye? Or an attempt at comfort because there was no hope?

  “You're going to be okay,” Olga whispered. “Somehow I'm sure of that.”

  After patting her back, Seffy pulled away and looked at the woman who'd had more power over her than anyone. “What are you not telling me?”

  “To not to lose hope.”

  Seffy licked her lips. Has Olga? Has she been marked? “Is there? Hope, I mean?”

  The nurse cleared her throat and stepped away. “Always.”

  Seffy regarded her for several moments, her heart suddenly like lead. “Thank you. For everything.”

  Olga returned her look over the tops of her glasses, her gaze steady. “Anytime.”

  ***

  An earthquake brought Gareth up from the depths of sleep. But when he opened his eyes, he realized the lights were out.

  Must've been a big one.

  He pulled on a shirt and felt his way across the room and out the door. He found both girls–who were already in the hall—by their loud whispers. “You okay?”

  “Yes,” he heard Lani say. “That one was bigger than usual. Is it me, or are they getting worse?”

  “Definitely getting worse. We should check on Seffy.”

  They made their way down the hall to her room but she wasn't there.

  He was glad the girls couldn't see his grimace. Which meant she was probably in the other room.

  His room.

  It wasn't as if staying in Trent's room would bring the man back, so why did she bother?