Witch Week (UK)

by Diana Wynne Jones

  Knowing this makes cats extremely confident and self-sufficient, and they put their magic to use all the time. How else could they appear from nowhere whenever the fridge door is opened? Or make a human open a door or window for them when they have a perfectly good cat flap of their own? Or seek out and snuggle up to the one person in the room who hates cats?

  Most of the time, cats don’t waste their energy displaying their superiority to non-magical humans. Occasionally they will, however, try to communicate with them — perhaps by staring at their subject for a very long time, or by sitting/standing/sleeping on whatever book/newspaper/homework that person might be occupied with, or by massaging that person’s leg/stomach/shoulder with very spiky claws while purring loudly.

  Cats tend to behave in the same way regardless of whether they live in a world with a lot of magic or a world with none. But in worlds that use magic every day, cats can be extremely useful — if they can be persuaded to help at all. Of course, it’s a great advantage if you can understand cats; not everyone can — not even every magic user can. (In fact, we learn that not even Chrestomanci can understand cats in The Magicians of Caprona — although he knows how to communicate in the proper manner.)

  It’s therefore not surprising that Tonino Montana gains much respect from his friends and family when Benvenuto — boss cat of the Casa Montana — takes Tonino under his wing. Benvenuto knew that all Tonino needed was a bit of help in learning how to use his special kind of magic — and the fact that Tonino also knows exactly the right way to scratch a cat behind the ears is just a big feline bonus! No doubt similar reasons brought Angelica Petrocchi and Vittoria together in the rival Casa Petrocchi household.

  In some worlds, cats are so magical that they are sacred. The Temple of Asheth in Series 10, for example, is positively swarming with magical cats. The Goddess usually adopts a favourite as a companion and to aid her in her reading of portents. In The Lives of Christopher Chant, the Goddess’s cats were Bethi, succeeded by Proudfoot.

  Asheth Temple cats all have exceptionally strong personalities — the strongest being that of Throgmorten. No cats suffer fools gladly, but Throgmorten is probably the least tolerant of all and has no hesitation about venting his feelings with his razor sharp claws, lethal fangs and lightning quick reflexes. Throgmorten is a very handy ally in a fight against a deadly foe, but is not averse to ambushing innocent bystanders if he doesn’t like them!

  Some cats are not what they appear to be. Fiddle, in Charmed Life, was actually once a violin (hence the name). But never make the mistake of thinking that an enchanted cat is any less important or magical than a cat that grew up from a kitten — he may well have a vital role to play as all magic happens for a reason.

  The best advice for dealing with cats is:

  Always greet them politely.

  Don’t make an unnecessary fuss over them.

  Be on the alert for signs they want to communicate with you.

  Never, ever laugh at them!

  If you’re lucky, you might just find that your cat will decide that you are a magical person worthy of attention. Or then again, maybe they’d just like some fish. . .

  THE WILLING WARLOCK

  WHAT WAS LIFE like for the Willing Warlock before he had his magic removed by Chrestomanci? We first meet him in Charmed Life, practising in Wolvercote, the hometown of Cat and Gwendolen Chant. Magic users like to cluster together, and Coven Street, where the Willing Warlock lives, boasts Accredited Witches, Necromancers, Soothsayers, Fortune-tellers, Sorcerers and Clairvoyants. If you’re looking for the Willing Warlock, just smell the air. If it is heavy with the scent of magic being done, you’re in the right place.

  But if there is a scale for magical skill, the Willing Warlock is at the bottom. Having the ability to grow his fingernails into claws and his teeth into fangs is one thing; being able to take on Chrestomanci is quite another. Always unshaven, always ready to present passing ladies with a bull’s-eye, the Willing Warlock chooses his friends unwisely, and suffers the consequences of being on the wrong side of the law. Chrestomanci may have taken the Willing Warlock’s magic away, but nothing can be done to cure his stupidity!

  ONEIR

  WHERE DOES CAROL Oneir’s interesting taste for literature come from, and what is her connection with Chrestomanci? The answer to both questions is: her father. Carol’s father, always referred to as “Oneir,” is an old school friend of Christopher Chant. When Oneir, Fenning, and Christopher meet on the train taking them to Penge School, Surrey, in The Lives of Christopher Chant, even Fenning’s frequent bouts of being sick out the train window cannot stop them becoming firm friends. Although they call themselves the “Terrible Three,” they are known at school as the “Three Bears” because Christopher is tall, Fenning is small, and Oneir is comfortably in the middle.

  When Christopher finds he is no good at magic, it is Oneir who does Christopher’s magic homework — in return for Christopher’s doing Oneir’s algebra. Oneir also gives Christopher invaluable help on the subject of What Books Girls Like, which includes “all sorts of slush,” such as Little Tanya and the Fairies (much to Christopher’s disgust) and “sure-fire slush,” such as Millie Goes to School; Millie Plays the Game; and Millie’s Finest Hour. But it is on the cricket field where both boys excel — Christopher as a batsman and Oneir as the boy who would like to be a batsman, but who is better at cracking heads than hitting sixes.

  TONINO

  TONINO MONTANA HAS an English mother, Elizabeth, an Italian father, Antonio, and a very special way of doing magic. One of five children (brother Paolo; sisters Rosa, Corinna, and Lucia), Tonino is from Caprona, Italy, where all the best spells come from because they are not spoken, but sung. The Casa Montana is known as a spell-house and, with the Casa Petrocchi, provides spells for the whole of Caprona and beyond!

  Think then, how difficult it is for poor Tonino, when he discovers he is very slow at learning magic, and can only remember spells if he goes over them again and again. Being known as a bookworm because he is never far from an open book, and knowing how to communicate with cats, is no compensation for his lack of magical ability.

  It takes a national crisis and the summoning of Chrestomanci to discover that Tonino’s talent is for turning other people’s magic to his own use. So, if, for example, you use magic to summon mice and you get griffins instead, you might suspect that Tonino Montana is not far away, using your spell and making it his own.

  THE WORLDS OF DIANA WYNNE JONES:

  AN INTERVIEW

  PerfectBound: You have stated: “Things we are accustomed to regard as myth or fairy story are very much present in people’s lives.” How much of your stories do you create from the real world as we know it and how much comes from . . . elsewhere?

  Diana Wynne Jones: I get a lot of things from the real world — people, particularly. If you annoy me, watch out! I shall put you in a book as a baddie and then make people laugh at you. But as soon as the story gets moving, it takes over. It does its own thing. I don’t feel as if I’m imagining it, or making it up, at all. It just sort of happens — in other worlds.

  PBd: While you write, do you become absorbed in these other worlds? How did you find these worlds originally?

  DWJ: I wish I knew how I found the different worlds of Chrestomanci. They just jumped into my head. Caprona, for instance, appeared in my head just as it is in the book — complete with its magicians and its Duke — while I was listening to a piece of music. It may be real somewhere. A man wrote to me a couple of years ago and said he was the Count of Caprona. The world of the Goddess came into my head a long time before I wrote the book, so complete and so full of its own smells and sounds and feelings that I was positive it had to exist somewhere. Perhaps I did really look through into another set of dimensions for a short while. When I write about any of these places, it is like I am living there. Then I look up and it’s raining outside and I wonder where I am.

  PBd: The Chrestomanci novels are set in differen
t places and at different times, introducing new characters and situations with each story. Yet they all exist in this parallel world. How would you recognise which world you are in?

  DWJ: What you would notice first if you went to the world of Chrestomanci is that everything is about a hundred years behind ours in terms of look. There is electric light, but there are very few cars. People dress in an old-fashioned way — including Chrestomanci himself. In this world people are used to doing by magic what we do by science. Of course, you would notice the magic — it would sizzle on your skin. Witch Week takes place in a different world from the other three, but all worlds are parallel to this one of ours. Now, if you find yourself in the world of Witch Week, be careful. If you appear suddenly, they might arrest you as a witch. And they burn witches there.

  PBd: On that note, what advice — survival tips — would you give to someone who wound up in one of these worlds?

  DWJ: If you suddenly find yourself in any of these other worlds, watch out for magic. All of them have much more magic than we do. If you want to pass for a native, don’t look surprised if witches on broomsticks sail across the moon, or a cat speaks to you. And never make an enchanter angry. He can turn you into a frog.

  PBd: Finding oneself the guest at Chrestomanci Castle must be a daunting experience. What is the best way to behave? How would you describe the great enchanter himself?

  DWJ: Manners are much more stately in Chrestomanci Castle, so you have to be polite. Otherwise you can behave perfectly naturally. Chrestomanci knows that everyone is only human. He is only human himself, but you may not believe this when you see him in one of his dressing gowns. He looks as regal as any king, but he has this sarcastic way of speaking — which takes getting used to.

  PBd: What spell would you need if you were lost in one of the worlds of Chrestomanci?

  DWJ: That would depend upon which world you were lost in. If you were in the world of Witch Week, the very first spell you’d need was one that made everyone sure you were no kind of a witch. If you were lost in Chrestomanci’s own world, I would advise an enhancement spell, so that you could do more magic yourself — because everyone has a bit of magic in them and an enhancement spell will make it just a bit bigger. Then you could do a clothes spell, like Nan Pilgrim did, and give yourself the correct clothes. This would stop people staring at you or calling the police.

  PBd: You say that magic is as common as mathematics in the world of Chrestomanci. Yet it sometimes goes wrong — in Witch Week it is actually forbidden but still seems to appear everywhere. What is the best way to control this magic?

  DWJ: The best way to control magic on any world is to learn how to do it properly. Then you won’t make an accidental gesture and find your feet on backwards. As soon as you get to a magic world, find a wizard to teach you.

  PBd: Why do only some people possess the power of magic and not others? Is it a power that can be taught?

  DWJ: There are several kinds of magic. Most is inborn, and this can be of various strengths. Just as, in our world, certain people have a strong talent for music or painting, while others can’t sing or draw to save their lives, so in magical worlds you get people who can or can’t do a lot of magic. But there is magic you can learn, too. This is mostly the kind that needs patterns chalked on the floor, candles, and spells. That is usually called magicians’ magic.

  PBd: You are said to be a connoisseur of witchcraft yourself — when did this interest occur?

  DWJ: I have always found I sort of knew about witchcraft. It seemed innate. I understand how spells work and the ways that different kinds of magic are performed. It always seemed perfectly natural to write about these things.

  PBd: You’ve said that you had very few books as a child, and so instead you had to develop a vivid imagination. One assumes that this helped prepare you to be a writer.

  DWJ: My sisters and I suffered from book-starvation. After we had read everything in the local library and begged and borrowed others wherever we could, I started writing books myself in dozens of school exercise books, and reading each bit as I finished it aloud to my sisters. This was a great help, because they kept nagging me for more, more, more. I was forced to imagine all sorts of things. But the exercise books themselves were very odd. I don’t to this day know where I got them or why they were all music manuscript books. This meant that you had a clump of little lines, and had to write close and small, and then you had a huge space, where your writing sprawled. These days I always write on paper with no lines at all. That is much less distracting.

  PBd: You’ve also mentioned that you were dyslexic. How did this affect your development as a writer?

  DWJ: As a child, I was quite a fast reader, but a very, very slow writer. I kept mixing up b and d. I still do, but it doesn’t bother me. Then it did, not because I was slow — for some reason I knew I only had to practice to get quicker — but because my parents screamed with laughter when I told them I was going to be a writer. They said I would never make it. I suppose that made me defiant.

  PBd: We’re very glad you made it.

  DWJ: Thank you! I am, too.

  About the Author

  DIANA WYNNE JONES has been writing outstanding fantasy novels for more than twenty-five years and is one of the most distinguished writers in this field. With unlimited imagination, she combines dazzling plots, an effervescent sense of humor, and emotional truths in stories that delight readers of all ages. Her books, published in international acclaim, have earned a wide array of honors, including two Boston Globe/Horn Book Honor Awards and the British Fantasy Society’s Karl Edward Wagner Award for having made a significant impact on fantasy.

  Ms. Jones says, “Each time I write a book, I try to say something new, with the results that each book turns out differently from the ones before—which surprises, puzzles, and pleases me in about equal proportions.” Her work spans from the epic novels of “The Dalemark Quartet” to the hilarious Chrestomanci books, which include Witch Week and Charmed Life, to the inventive Dark Lord of Derkholm and its sequel, Year of the Griffin, to individual gems like Dogsbody. Diana Wynne Jones lives in Bristol, England.

  Visit www.AuthorTracker.com for exclusive information on your favorite HarperCollins authors.

  Also by Diana Wynne Jones

  Believing Is Seeing: Seven Stories

  Castle in the Air

  The Chronicles of Chrestomanci

  Charmed Life*

  The Lives of Christopher Chant*

  The Magicians of Caprona*

  Witch Week*

  Mixed Magics*

  The Dalemark Quartet

  Book 1: Cart and Cwidder

  Book 2: Drowned Ammet

  Book 3: The Spellcoats

  Book 4: The Crown of Dalemark

  Dark Lord of Derkholm

  Hexwood

  Howl’s Moving Castle

  Stopping for a Spell

  The Time of the Ghost

  Year of the Griffin

  *Available as a PerfectBound e-book

  Credits

  Cover art © 2001 by Dan Craig.

  Copyright

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, organizations, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental and beyond the intent of either the author or the publisher.

  WITCH WEEK. Copyright © 1988 by Diana Wynne Jones. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  HarperCol
lins e-books thanks Stella Paskins and Zoe Clarke for their work on this e-book’s special features.

  EPub Edition February 2002 ISBN 9780061757518

  First Harper Trophy edition, 2001

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