Wicked Needs

by L A Cotton

  Rubbing a hand over my tired eyes, I studied her last text again. It wasn’t the first time she’d told me we were done, but this time felt... different.

  Everything about tonight was different.

  From her texting me to pick her up, to sliding inside her with a clear head. Being able to feel every inch of her underneath me, around me. I’d savored every second. Every sigh, every soft moan. Even her kisses felt different. Which only confirmed my suspicions. Macey ran because she felt it too. The intensity. The connection.

  Things were changing between us. Somewhere along the way, the lines began to blur. But she wasn’t wrong. We were a disaster waiting to happen. A modern-day Romeo and Juliet. The rich girl with the wrong name and the boy from the wrong side of town. I didn’t fit the Prince mold. Rich. Popular. Entitled. And I certainly wouldn’t pass the big brother-test.

  She was right—it had to end.

  There was only one problem.

  I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

  MONDAY MORNING, I FOUND myself looking for her, but Liam, my best friend, found me first. “Where’d you get to Saturday night?” His eyes widened, full of suspicion.

  “Nowhere.”

  “Nowhere?” He frowned. “One minute you were there and the next you were gone.”

  “I bailed.”

  “Way for stating the obvious.”

  We fell into step, joining the stream of kids heading into the building, and I added, “I wasn’t feeling it.”

  “Feeling what? The band was heavy.”

  “They were okay.”

  “Okay? Geez man, what’s gotten into you?”

  “Nothing, I’m just... I think I’m coming down with something.”

  “What like a flu? Don’t be breathing your germs all over me. I can’t get sick. Autumn’s brother is in town next weekend, and she wants me to go to dinner with her family.”

  “Family dinner? Sounds serious.”

  “Fuck off, it’s not like that.”

  I gave him a pointed look. It was so like that. Liam and Autumn had been going steady for almost a year. There had a been a sticky patch when things got awkward between me, Lo, and Laurie. But somehow Autumn managed to pull off staying friends with them and me, and her and Liam were tighter than ever.

  We stopped by our lockers before heading to class. “You sure you’re good?” Liam asked as we reached my room.

  “I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  He rubbed his head. “I don’t know man; something seems off.”

  My shoulders lifted, and I looked down at my feet. “Nah, I’m good.”

  “Whatever you say. I’ll catch you at lunch if I survive Peterson’s class.”

  “See you later.” I ducked inside and headed straight for my desk on the back row.

  “Ah, Mr. Lions,” Mr. Foley said, “How lovely of you to join us.”

  “Sorry, Sir.”

  “Yes, yes.” He waved his hand dismissively. “Textbook out please. We’re working on chapter five.”

  Sinking into the seat, I pulled out the book and flipped the page. Everyone was already busy working, including Foley who had his balding head buried in a pile of papers. I slid my cell out of my pocket and started typing.

  Me: Want to get out of here?

  I watched Macey two rows in front. Her hand slipped into her backpack covertly retrieving her cell phone. Bingo. But my chest tightened when she read the text and dropped it back into her backpack. Refusing to be deterred, I typed another message.

  Me: I can still taste you.

  She blew out a frustrated breath but didn’t glance back. I was getting under her skin—right where I wanted to be. Mr. Foley’s eyes snapped up, and he glared at her. When he resumed his marking, Macey reached for her cell again. This time she engaged.

  Macey: You have to stop.

  The corner of my mouth lifted.

  Me: I get it. You got scared. But you don’t need to be scared with me, Princess. I won’t hurt you.

  I waited, chewing the end of my pen as she read my reply. All day yesterday I’d mulled over her text message. Her attempt at ending things between us. And I decided it was bullshit. I’d always been the guy who stood by while other guys—notably Maverick Prince—swooped in and got the girl. It happened with Caitlin. And then it happened with Lo. But Macey wanted me, and that was worth something.

  It was worth getting my ass kicked by Maverick, if that’s what it came down to.

  When she didn’t reply straight away, I sent another text for good measure.

  Me: Macey, give me a chance...

  She read the message then glanced back locking eyes with me. “Stop,” she mouthed. “Please?”

  But that was the thing. I couldn’t stop. And I didn’t want to. We were good together. When it was just the two of us, alone, we were good.

  Me: If that’s what you really want, I’ll walk away. But answer me one thing: do you feel it too?

  Mr. Foley interrupted us, standing up at his desk, running over some questions. My cell burned a hole on my thigh as I listened to him drone on. Sure, it was senior year and most kids wanted to work their asses off their final year, ready for college, but my future was already decided. I was the future of Lions Construction. Go me!

  Dragging a hand over my face, I tried my best to at least look interested in Foley. When he finally sat back down, I checked my phone.

  Macey: I’m sorry, I don’t.

  Well, damn.

  Guess the fortress around her heart was more reinforced than I first thought.

  Feeling pissed, the bitter sting of rejection lingering in my chest, I pocketed my cell and started answering the questions. By the time the bell rang, I grabbed my backpack and got the hell out of there, ignoring the way Macey’s eyes followed me from the room.

  “WHAT’S UP?” I JOINED Liam, Autumn, our friend Jared, and a couple of other guys at our regular table.

  “Jared’s dick.” Liam howled spraying soda everywhere.

  “Babe, that’s gross.” Autumn’s face screwed up as she grabbed a napkin and started cleaning him like a baby.

  “Hey, there’s nothing gross about my dick,” Jared shot back. “Ask Sara Miller.”

  “Shit, man, you tapped that?”

  “Maybe.” Jared was so fucking smug. He might have been like the rest of our rebel bunch; too rough around the edges to fit the Wicked Bay High mold, but there was something about him girls loved.

  “Nice.” Kinnicky grinned. “At least you’re not pining after Stone’s girl anymore.”

  Liam leaned over and smacked Kinnicky upside the head.

  “It’s all good,” Jared said. “Me and Laurie are just friends.”

  “Just friends, right. Like you wouldn’t jump straight into Stone’s shoes given half a—”

  “Kinnicky,” we all shouted. The guy had a bad case of the verbal shits.

  “I heard Caitlin’s making a play for Lonnie again,” he changed the subject. “She’s desperate to get back in with the football team after Kyle iced her out.”

  Liam eyed me sideways, and I shook my head. Now was so not the time or place to talk about my history with Caitlin Holloway. A history I wished I could erase. But funny thing about the past, it usually had trouble staying there.

  There had been a time I thought Caitlin was worth it. Worth her mean girl attitude and entitlement issues. The giant fucking silver spoon she was born with. We had one summer together. One great summer. But I should have known she was just slumming it with me, waiting for someone better to come along. Someone more suited to her social standing.

  Someone like Maverick Prince.

  Shit, I’d done some messed up things trying to win Caitlin back; trying to get one over on him. And stuck in the middle was Lo. A girl who deserved more. I hated myself for what went down between us, but I couldn’t change the past. All I could do was try to do better.

  Be better.

  It was a work-in-progress. I’d cut Caitlin from my life in an
attempt to make amends with Lo. Even though there was a time when I thought Caitlin was it—the girl who owned my heart—I eventually saw past my feelings for her and saw her for what she was... a conniving manipulative bitch. But another funny thing about the past, it wasn’t always easy to learn from your mistakes. Because on the face of it, I’d traded one bitch for another.

  Macey wasn’t a bitch though, not really. It was just a front she put on to keep people out. She wore her attitude like armor. And at first, I had no interest in smashing right through it but now... now I couldn’t think about anything else. So, she could run. She could pretend this thing between us wasn’t real. But she couldn’t hide forever.

  And when she was ready to face the truth, I’d be waiting.

  Chapter 7

  MACEY

  Devon didn’t text me again. All week, I waited to feel the vibration of my cell phone. To see his teasing words flash across my screen. But they never came.

  And I only had myself to blame.

  I’d pushed too hard. If the way he fled from Mr. Foley’s class that day was anything to go by, I’d hurt him. It wasn’t my intention, but when he asked me if I felt it too, I couldn’t say the words. Just like I hadn’t been able to say them that night at his house.

  Deep down, I knew I was doing us both a favor, saving us an avoidable heartache down the line. But it didn’t stop me staring at my phone, willing it to vibrate.

  “Macey, earth to Macey.”

  I blinked up at Caitlin and said, “Yeah?”

  “Get your head in the game. We only have three more days to nail these rehearsals.” She levelled me with a hard look then swung around to address the rest of the squad. “The bus leaves at twelve-thirty sharp. Room assignments will be given out then. I’ll make the after-party arrangements.”

  A couple of the girls snickered, excitement dancing in their eyes. Away games were usually a big deal. But away games requiring a stopover for the night were a really big deal.

  “So the team aren’t still freezing you out?” someone called from the back row and Caitlin went rigid.

  “Monica, do you have something to say?” Caitlin planted her hand on her hip and scowled.

  “I, hmm,” the new recruit stuttered. “I just, I...”

  “Spit it out.”

  “IheardKyletoldtheteamyouwereout.”

  We’d all heard it, but no one talked about it. It was an unspoken rule amongst the squad. Caitlin ruled whether we liked it or not.

  Her face morphed into pure anger. If she’d been a cartoon there would have been smoke coming from her ears. “Let’s get one thing straight, Monica,” she all but hissed the poor junior’s name. “No one, and I mean no one, freezes me out. Football captain or otherwise.”

  Monica ducked her head while the rest of us sat silent. If I’d have wanted to, I could have called her out. I knew first hand that Kyle had put her in her place after she went after Lo at the start of semester, but it wasn’t worth it. The more you pushed Caitlin, the more she pushed back. Besides, I didn’t need her looking to dig up anything on me—she probably wouldn’t like what she found. Because although she never publicly dated Devon the summer before junior year, she’d had him first. Something I had no doubt she would throw in my face if she ever found out about us.

  “Okay, get out of here. I have a mani-pedi booked at L’Apaiser.”

  Kara caught my eye and rolled hers. I stifled back the urge to laugh. “I swear, she gets worse.” She fell into step beside me as we made our way back to the locker room.

  “It’s senior year. It makes the best of us a little crazy,” Trina joined the conversation. “Right, Macey?”

  “Trin,” Kara warned.

  “It’s fine,” I replied, shooting Trina a saccharine sweet smile. “Must be why you’re sleeping with anything that breathes.”

  Kara’s jaw dropped open, and the smirk fell off Trina’s face. “Did you just—”

  “Now you know how it feels.” I shouldered past her.

  “She’s such a bitch,” I heard her mumble to Kara, but I was past caring. Besides Kara, these girls weren’t my friends. They were just acquaintances. People I had to put up with to keep my spot on the squad.

  And I only had to survive another seven months of them before I was free.

  WHEN I GOT HOME FROM school and saw Maverick’s car in the driveway, I almost turned around. I wasn’t ready to deal with his lame assed attempt at an apology. But he must have been waiting for me because the front door swung open and he appeared. “You don’t answer your calls anymore?”

  “I screen them first.” It was a low blow, but he knew things weren’t right between us.

  “Ouch.” He scrubbed his jaw, forcing a smile. “Can we talk?”

  “I have homework.”

  “Macey, come on. I drove home on a school night.”

  “I didn’t ask you to make the trip.” Besides, SU was only twenty miles away.

  I followed him inside, dropping my backpack at the bottom of the stairs and making my way into the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked cookies filled the air and my stomach groaned.

  “Loretta?”

  Rick smirked. “I may have called ahead and asked her to bake your favorite.”

  I shook my head in disbelief. Loretta, our housekeeper, made the best double chocolate cookies. I guess Rick meant business.

  “Where is everyone?” I asked, hopping up onto a stool.

  “Summer’s with Nick, and Kyle has practice.”

  And Mom and Gentry worked until late most nights.

  “We can talk here or go to the pool house?”

  “Here’s fine.” The pool house was Rick’s space, which made it Lo’s space. I still couldn’t believe Mom let him move out there earlier this year when things with Dad reached critical. He and Lo practically holed up in there all summer.

  It was the last place I wanted to have this conversation.

  “We need to talk.” He leaned against the counter looking all broody and deadly serious. Something we still had in common.

  “And like I’ve told Mom a hundred times, I don’t want to talk.” I tore off a chunk of cookie and popped it in my mouth. Our housekeeper worked magic, and for a second, I was transported to better times. When me and Rick were young, hovering around Loretta while a fresh batch of cookies baked in the oven.

  “Macey, work with me here. It’s been months since everything...” He trailed off. “Mom’s trying her—”

  “Since when are you on her side? Or have you forgotten that she stood by and watched him try to ruin your life and never did a single thing?”

  “She was trying to protect us, to protect Gentry’s business.”

  “Wake the hell up, Rick.” I slammed my hand down on the counter. “She wasn’t protecting us, she was lying to us. She could have told us. She watched you come home bloody and bruised time after time. She stood by and watched your anger consume you. And she never said a damn word.”

  “It wasn’t easy for her, Mace. She had Gentry to think about. Our family’s reputation.”

  “Who are you right now? Because you are not my brother.” Tears burned the backs of my eyes. “You used to hate Gentry. She let you grow up hating him. They both did. Can’t you see that’s messed up? She played us, Rick. She played both of us, and if Lo hadn’t shown up you would have gone off to East Bay like a good little son and we’d still be in the dark about everything.”

  Rick’s eyes went hard, the muscle in his jaw clenched tight. “This has nothing to do with Lo.”

  “Doesn’t it?” I stared at him incredulously. “Everything was fine until she arrived. She waltzed into our lives and ruined it all.”

  “Hang on a minute. You just said if it wasn’t for Lo, we’d still be in the dark about everything. So the way I see it, Lo did us both a favor.” He glared at me. “Wait, it’s not that at all is it?”

  “Rick, I—”

  But he wasn’t done. “Surely you’re not that messed up that you can�
��t just be happy for us? Lo makes me better, Mace. She makes me want to be better.”

  I lowered my eyes, shaking my head from side to side. “You don’t get it.”

  “So, make me understand. Talk to me. You’re hurting. I know that, and I wish I could make it go away. But we’re not kids anymore. We can’t keep running from our problems. We can’t keep blaming other people for the—"

  “I wish she’d never walked into our lives, okay?” I yelled, and Maverick reared back as if I’d physically slapped him. “Rick, wait, I didn’t mean—”

  “That’s some messed up shit, Macey.” He ran a hand over his head clutching the back of his neck. “You’re my sister and I love you, but don’t make me choose because I’ll fall on Lo’s side every time. I know it’s been hard on you. I know things have changed, but you didn’t lose me. You pushed me away. Just like you’re pushing everyone around you away. Lo saved me. Like it or not, you should be thanking her that you still have your brother around because the person I was before, the person stepping into that ring looking for blood, he was heading into a dark place. I don’t want that for you. You can hate me and freeze me out, but don’t lose yourself, Macey. I’ve been there and it’s not somewhere I ever want to go back to.”

  He moved around the breakfast island to me, but I threw up my hands. “Don’t, please... just don’t.”

  “Macey, come on—”

  “You have no idea the things I’ve done...” my voice trailed off. I’d already said too much.

  “What do you mean?” Confusion crossed his expression, but I was already out of there.

  I ran straight up to my room, slammed the door behind me, and crumpled down to the floor letting the tears fall. Rick probably thought I couldn’t handle the truth; or felt guilty for admitting I wished things were how they were before Lo moved here. Before the truth came out and everything went to shit. But what he didn’t know was that Lo wasn’t the only one who had tried to save him from himself.