Two on a Tower

by Thomas Hardy

  XV

  The summer passed away, and autumn, with its infinite suite of tints,came creeping on. Darker grew the evenings, tearfuller the moonlights,and heavier the dews. Meanwhile the comet had waxed to its largestdimensions,--so large that not only the nucleus but a portion of the tailhad been visible in broad day. It was now on the wane, though everynight the equatorial still afforded an opportunity of observing thesingular object which would soon disappear altogether from the heavensfor perhaps thousands of years.

  But the astronomer of the Rings-Hill Speer was no longer a match for hiscelestial materials. Scientifically he had become but a dim vapour ofhimself; the lover had come into him like an armed man, and cast out thestudent, and his intellectual situation was growing a life-and-deathmatter.

  The resolve of the pair had been so far kept: they had not seen eachother in private for three months. But on one day in October he venturedto write a note to her:--

  'I can do nothing! I have ceased to study, ceased to observe. The equatorial is useless to me. This affection I have for you absorbs my life, and outweighs my intentions. The power to labour in this grandest of fields has left me. I struggle against the weakness till I think of the cause, and then I bless her. But the very desperation of my circumstances has suggested a remedy; and this I would inform you of at once.

  'Can you come to me, since I must not come to you? I will wait to- morrow night at the edge of the plantation by which you would enter to the column. I will not detain you; my plan can be told in ten words.'

  The night after posting this missive to her he waited at the spotmentioned.

  It was a melancholy evening for coming abroad. A blusterous wind hadrisen during the day, and still continued to increase. Yet he stoodwatchful in the darkness, and was ultimately rewarded by discerning ashady muffled shape that embodied itself from the field, accompanied bythe scratching of silk over stubble. There was no longer any disguise asto the nature of their meeting. It was a lover's assignation, pure andsimple; and boldly realizing it as such he clasped her in his arms.

  'I cannot bear this any longer!' he exclaimed. 'Three months since I sawyou alone! Only a glimpse of you in church, or a bow from the distance,in all that time! What a fearful struggle this keeping apart has been!'

  'Yet I would have had strength to persist, since it seemed best,' shemurmured when she could speak, 'had not your words on your condition soalarmed and saddened me. This inability of yours to work, or study, orobserve,--it is terrible! So terrible a sting is it to my consciencethat your hint about a remedy has brought me instantly.'

  'Yet I don't altogether mind it, since it is you, my dear, who havedisplaced the work; and yet the loss of time nearly distracts me, when Ihave neither the power to work nor the delight of your company.'

  'But your remedy! O, I cannot help guessing it! Yes; you are goingaway!'

  'Let us ascend the column; we can speak more at ease there. Then I willexplain all. I would not ask you to climb so high but the hut is not yetfurnished.'

  He entered the cabin at the foot, and having lighted a small lantern,conducted her up the hollow staircase to the top, where he closed theslides of the dome to keep out the wind, and placed the observing-chairfor her.

  'I can stay only five minutes,' she said, without sitting down. 'Yousaid it was important that you should see me, and I have come. I assureyou it is at a great risk. If I am seen here at this time I am ruinedfor ever. But what would I not do for you? O Swithin, your remedy--isit to go away? There is no other; and yet I dread that like death!'

  'I can tell you in a moment, but I must begin at the beginning. All thisruinous idleness and distraction is caused by the misery of our not beingable to meet with freedom. The fear that something may snatch you fromme keeps me in a state of perpetual apprehension.'

  'It is too true also of me! I dread that some accident may happen, andwaste my days in meeting the trouble half-way.'

  'So our lives go on, and our labours stand still. Now for the remedy.Dear Lady Constantine, allow me to marry you.'

  She started, and the wind without shook the building, sending up a yetintenser moan from the firs.

  'I mean, marry you quite privately. Let it make no difference whateverto our outward lives for years, for I know that in my present positionyou could not possibly acknowledge me as husband publicly. But bymarrying at once we secure the certainty that we cannot be divided byaccident, coaxing, or artifice; and, at ease on that point, I shallembrace my studies with the old vigour, and you yours.'

  Lady Constantine was so agitated at the unexpected boldness of such aproposal from one hitherto so boyish and deferential that she sank intothe observing-chair, her intention to remain for only a few minutes beingquite forgotten.

  She covered her face with her hands. 'No, no, I dare not!' shewhispered.

  'But is there a single thing else left to do?' he pleaded, kneeling downbeside her, less in supplication than in abandonment. 'What else can wedo?'

  'Wait till you are famous.'

  'But I cannot be famous unless I strive, and this distracting conditionprevents all striving!'

  'Could you not strive on if I--gave you a promise, a solemn promise, tobe yours when your name is fairly well known?'

  St. Cleeve breathed heavily. 'It will be a long, weary time,' he said.'And even with your promise I shall work but half-heartedly. Every hourof study will be interrupted with "Suppose this or this happens;""Suppose somebody persuades her to break her promise;" worse still,"Suppose some rival maligns me, and so seduces her away." No, LadyConstantine, dearest, best as you are, that element of distraction wouldstill remain, and where that is, no sustained energy is possible. Manyerroneous things have been written and said by the sages, but never didthey float a greater fallacy than that love serves as a stimulus to winthe loved one by patient toil.'

  'I cannot argue with you,' she said weakly.

  'My only possible other chance would lie in going away,' he resumed aftera moment's reflection, with his eyes on the lantern flame, which wavedand smoked in the currents of air that leaked into the dome from thefierce wind-stream without. 'If I might take away the equatorial,supposing it possible that I could find some suitable place for observingin the southern hemisphere,--say, at the Cape,--I _might_ be able toapply myself to serious work again, after the lapse of a little time. Thesouthern constellations offer a less exhausted field for investigation. Iwonder if I might!'

  'You mean,' she answered uneasily, 'that you might apply yourself to workwhen your recollection of me began to fade, and my life to become amatter of indifference to you? . . Yes, go! No,--I cannot bear it! Theremedy is worse than the disease. I cannot let you go away!'

  'Then how can you refuse the only condition on which I can stay, withoutruin to my purpose and scandal to your name? Dearest, agree to myproposal, as you love both me and yourself!'

  He waited, while the fir-trees rubbed and prodded the base of the tower,and the wind roared around and shook it; but she could not find words toreply.

  'Would to God,' he burst out, 'that I might perish here, like Winstanleyin his lighthouse! Then the difficulty would be solved for you.'

  'You are so wrong, so very wrong, in saying so!' she exclaimedpassionately. 'You may doubt my wisdom, pity my short-sightedness; butthere is one thing you do know,--that I love you dearly!'

  'You do,--I know it!' he said, softened in a moment. 'But it seems sucha simple remedy for the difficulty that I cannot see how you can mindadopting it, if you care so much for me as I do for you.'

  'Should we live . . . just as we are, exactly, . . . supposing I agreed?'she faintly inquired.

  'Yes, that is my idea.'

  'Quite privately, you say. How could--the marriage be quite private?'

  'I would go away to London and get a license. Then you could come to me,and return again immediately after the ceremony. I could return atleisure and not a soul in the world would kno
w what had taken place.Think, dearest, with what a free conscience you could then assist me inmy efforts to plumb these deeps above us! Any feeling that you may nowhave against clandestine meetings as such would then be removed, and ourhearts would be at rest.'

  There was a certain scientific practicability even in his love-making,and it here came out excellently. But she sat on with suspended breath,her heart wildly beating, while he waited in open-mouthed expectation.Each was swayed by the emotion within them, much as the candle-flame wasswayed by the tempest without. It was the most critical evening of theirlives.

  The pale rays of the little lantern fell upon her beautiful face, snuglyand neatly bound in by her black bonnet; but not a beam of the lanternleaked out into the night to suggest to any watchful eye that human lifeat its highest excitement was beating within the dark and isolated tower;for the dome had no windows, and every shutter that afforded an openingfor the telescope was hermetically closed. Predilections and misgivingsso equally strove within her still youthful breast that she could notutter a word; her intention wheeled this way and that like the balance ofa watch. His unexpected proposition had brought about the smartestencounter of inclination with prudence, of impulse with reserve, that shehad ever known.

  Of all the reasons that she had expected him to give for his urgentrequest to see her this evening, an offer of marriage was probably thelast. Whether or not she had ever amused herself with hypotheticalfancies on such a subject,--and it was only natural that she shouldvaguely have done so,--the courage in her _protege_ coolly to advance it,without a hint from herself that such a proposal would be tolerated,showed her that there was more in his character than she had reckoned on:and the discovery almost frightened her. The humour, attitude, and tenorof her attachment had been of quite an unpremeditated quality,unsuggestive of any such audacious solution to their distresses as this.

  'I repeat my question, dearest,' he said, after her long pause. 'Shallit be done? Or shall I exile myself, and study as best I can, in somedistant country, out of sight and sound?'

  'Are those the only alternatives? Yes, yes; I suppose they are!' Shewaited yet another moment, bent over his kneeling figure, and kissed hisforehead. 'Yes; it shall be done,' she whispered. 'I will marry you.'

  'My angel, I am content!'

  He drew her yielding form to his heart, and her head sank upon hisshoulder, as he pressed his two lips continuously upon hers. To such hadthe study of celestial physics brought them in the space of eight months,one week, and a few odd days.

  'I am weaker than you,--far the weaker,' she went on, her tears falling.'Rather than lose you out of my sight I will marry without stipulation orcondition. But--I put it to your kindness--grant me one little request.'

  He instantly assented.

  'It is that, in consideration of my peculiar position in this county,--O,you can't understand it!--you will not put an end to the absolute secrecyof our relationship without my full assent. Also, that you will nevercome to Welland House without first discussing with me the advisabilityof the visit, accepting my opinion on the point. There, see how a timidwoman tries to fence herself in!'

  'My dear lady-love, neither of those two high-handed courses should Ihave taken, even had you not stipulated against them. The very essenceof our marriage plan is that those two conditions are kept. I see aswell as you do, even more than you do, how important it is that for thepresent,--ay, for a long time hence--I should still be but the curate'slonely son, unattached to anybody or anything, with no object of interestbut his science; and you the recluse lady of the manor, to whom he isonly an acquaintance.'

  'See what deceits love sows in honest minds!'

  'It would be a humiliation to you at present that I could not bear if amarriage between us were made public; an inconvenience without anycompensating advantage.'

  'I am so glad you assume it without my setting it before you! Now I knowyou are not only good and true, but politic and trustworthy.'

  'Well, then, here is our covenant. My lady swears to marry me; I, inreturn for such great courtesy, swear never to compromise her byintruding at Welland House, and to keep the marriage concealed till Ihave won a position worthy of her.'

  'Or till I request it to be made known,' she added, possibly foreseeing acontingency which had not occurred to him.

  'Or till you request it,' he repeated.

  'It is agreed,' murmured Lady Constantine,