by KL Donn
“Is it still storming outside?” I need to change the subject.
“Raining. But the thunder and lightning ended about an hour ago.” Codie still eyes me critically. “Theo texted me, too.”
Climbing onto the couch, I lean back and pull Codie into my arms. Settling us both before asking, “What’d he want?”
“Just to check in.” She pauses, and I look down at her even though exhaustion is pulling heavily on me. “With me.”
“Good.” My heavy eyelids close as Codie cuddles into my chest. Contentment rolls through us both as the exhaustion of the last few turbulent days catches up to us.
We have a lot to talk about, but there’s nothing that can’t wait until morning. I’ll be here, and I’m not going anywhere. Not ever again.
Chapter 14
Codie
One, two, three. I think it’s him I’m counting for. His heart as it beats, his chest as it rises. One, two, three. As it falls. Ryder came back, and he came to me. A miracle as far as I’m concerned. Theo tried to keep my hopes up, but I remained skeptical.
I’ve always known there was something wrong with me. Even before my life fell apart, I felt a shifting in the air when I would walk into a room. I’d get looks of censure for no reason other than breathing. I hated it. I was confused for so long.
When I fell pregnant with Lucas and nothing had changed, and the shock you expected didn’t take root, I broke a little inside. It’s like everyone knew my life was over before I did. They knew I was a mess.
One, two, three.
I can’t stop the counting. Over the past few days, I’ve come to realize it’s more than just a quirk or habit. It’s what I need to continue on with my life.
If I’m going to beat this phobia, I need a coping mechanism. Counting is it. I can do almost anything as long as I count.
“I can feel your lips moving,” Ryder murmurs as his head lowers, and I sense more than hear him inhale as he breaths in and out against my head.
“Do you think I can get through this? Past my fears?” Right now, my biggest worry is that he’ll tire of waiting for me to gain control again.
Lifting my chin with a gentle hand, Ryder’s eyes soften as he searches mine. His strong jaw relaxes from its ordinarily tense stance. “You already are,” he whispers. His head lowers, and I raise up to meet him.
Being with Ryder is the only thing in my world that makes sense anymore. He helps me forget my past. The anguish that tries to overthrow my every move slithers away like fog in warm air. I feel whole with him.
Ringing in the background forces us to pull apart as Ryder curses, and I lick my lips. Savoring the taste of him as he scowls at his phone. “You have to go,” I say. It’s not a question.
“We’ve been called for a rescue mission,” he replies, cursing under his breath. “I can stay.” He gazes at me.
I see so much in his stare. He wants to stay, but his loyalty to his team, to this country, means he must go. I won’t stop him. This is obviously his calling. What he’s meant to do.
“You have to do it, Ryder.” Placing my hand on his jaw, I rub my thumb back and forth, and he closes his eyes before turning his face to kiss my palm.
“You’ll be here when I get back?” He frowns as though I would actually leave.
“I’m not going anywhere.”
“I’ll give you my sister’s number. You call her whenever you need to.” I probably won’t. I’m not that bold. “Better yet, I’m going to give your number to her and my mom. They’ll be in touch with you.” He smirks at my shocked expression, knowing me well enough that I wouldn’t contact his sister.
Standing with him, I follow Ryder to the door, and before he steps outside after unlocking it, I kiss him. Deeply. Touching his soul with everything I feel in the hopes he understands what I’m unable to say with words.
“I’ll be back, dove.”
“Stay safe.”
“Always.” He kisses me lightly again, just a feather touch, and he’s off and gone on his next mission. I don’t know how long I stand in my doorway for, but when storm clouds come crashing through the morning light, I close and lock it.
“One, two, three.” My anxiety is growing as turbulent as the angry thunder crashing through the skies. Menace is in the air, and I’m not sure if it’s my imagination or not, but I know something bad is going to happen.
Ryder
* * *
Leaving Codie so soon after I just got back wasn’t in the plans, but a woman has been kidnapped by a drug cartel in Mexico, and she needs help. Her father runs the CIA, and because of that, the bureau won’t send anyone in to rescue her. A conflict of interest, they say.
“What’s it looking like?” I blurt out as I rush off the elevator to see everyone standing around talking.
“Glad you could make it.” Nix nods at me. It’s all I’m going to get in so far as he’s glad I decided not to quit. “Everett Gaines has been taken from her vacation villa by the Diablos Cartel. They’re the worst in the country according to her father, who has had a team watching and infiltrating them for years.”
“Why’d he let her go there then?” Weston barks out what we’re all immediately thinking.
“They’re estranged,” Nix explains.
Walking in front of the computer system that I’d spent months setting up to work every angle I could before we go on a mission, I jump onto our secure server and do a quick search about the girl.
“Everett Leslie Gaines, twenty-two years old. Born, raised, and lives in Phoenix, Arizona. Accounting graduate from the University of Phoenix three months ago. Mother is living in Phoenix as well, works at a law firm as a legal assistant. Nothing looks out of place.” I scroll a little more, but nothing catches my attention. “If this is for money, they’ll want a ransom. We should be looking into her father. Is he saying anything?”
Nix scowls before shaking his head. “Director Gaines insists it can’t be about him because he has nothing to do with the day to day operations. He signs paperwork and approves assignments. Nobody but the CIA would know how he’s connected to any missions.”
“Coincidence?” Foster asks with a raised brow. It’s not entirely out of the question, but none of us will believe that.
“Not likely.” Theo speaks my thoughts.
“We’re wheels up in one hour. Get your gear squared away, pack light. We’re not sanctioned in this country, so you know the drill. If they catch us, we’re on our own.” Nix gives a nod as he walks back to his office.
“We’re jumping?” Foster grins. Not much he loves more than an adrenaline rush.
“Looks like,” I respond as I continue to dig into the background of the Gaines family. Everett hasn’t put her degree to use yet, so it’s unlikely she’s involved with money laundering or anything else the cartel could target her for.
The mother works for a law office that mostly deals with mortgages and rental properties, so unless she stumbled upon a stash house in the U.S. that the cartel uses, I just don’t see her being the problem.
Which leaves the director.
Bureaucrats never leave a good taste in my mouth, so I intend to search more thoroughly into his background before I can firmly say he’s beyond suspicion.
It’s entirely possible this is a coincidence, but for the sake of the girl, I refuse to leave any stone unturned.
Chapter 15
Ryder
I knew we shouldn’t have fucking come. From the minute our plane was in the air, everything felt off. The information we were given. The lies we were being told.
The only truth we’ve found since landing is that the girl had been captured. Bloody, beaten, tortured, and raped. She’s a fucking mess.
“I’m going to kill that son of a bitch,” Foster growls through clenched teeth. I’ve never seen my friend so pissed before. The way he watches the girl, passed out from pain and likely blood loss, leaves me to wonder if he’s just angry about us being caught and what they’ve done to her, or if there’s something
more.
“Not before I do.” I hold my dirty shirt against the bullet hole in my shoulder. All things considered, it could have gone worse. Nix, Theo, and Weston were able to get out. Shit hit the fan before we could fucking react.
We had the girl. We had an exit. We have a motherfucking mole. And it comes straight from the CIA.
* * *
24 HOURS AGO
* * *
“Go, go, go!” Jumping from the back of a plane never gets old. There’s one second of absolute fear before freedom rushes through the blood. We fall at thirty thousand feet into a jungle filled with trees below. Into the middle of nowhere. A plan already in place.
I was able to find out where the cartel is holding Everett, and it appears to have minimum security around her. We should be in and out in twenty-four hours or less. She’ll be home in the arms of her mother in two days tops.
We’re jumping right in on this one. We all know the faster we’re in and out the better. Mexico is not somewhere anyone wants to be captured or arrested. And since we’re at risk for both, we know not to take our time on this mission.
“Comms check?” I whisper through the secure line.
“Chaos. Check.”
“Knot. Check.”
“Phantom. Check.”
“Shaker. Check.”
“Let’s do this,” I command.
Phantom and Knot are creating a distraction throughout the front of the compound with an explosive Chaos handed off to them, while he and I get the girl from the building in the back. Only three guards surround her, and we know we can extract her from them. Shaker is waiting with medical supplies a mile away.
“Set to blow in, three…two…one.” A loud boom breaks the night air, and Chaos and I move forward through the tree branches slapping us in the face. Past the rushing guards as they race to find out what’s happening at the front of the compound.
“Dammit, Chaos,” Nix curses.
I look back at my friend to see him with a huge grin on his face. “He’s going to beat your ass one of these days,” I comment as we reach the wall we have to scale.
Tossing our rope and anchors up and over, we begin to climb. Hand over hand, up we go. Gazing briefly on the other side to make sure the coast is clear, we grab the ropes and drop to the ground silently.
“Which building?” Chaos asks as gunfire explodes from the front of the buildings.
Staring at the screen on my arm, I watch for unmoving heat signatures, and when I see the one I’m looking for, I point to it. “That one.”
Rushing to the structure, Chaos has a knife up and through one guard’s chin before the man knows we’re here. Blood rushes down his neck to stain his shirt. Circling to the front of the building, I’ve got my arms around the neck of another and squeeze until he stops flapping around. After hiding the bodies from immediate sight, we work on getting inside.
“Hurry up,” I hiss as Chaos fights to free the lock on the door, and I watch for the third guard that’s supposed to be here.
“Got it.” The door opens and we rush in, closing it behind us just as voices can be heard. “I’ll strap her on.” Neither of us can see or hear Everett, but I know she’s in here. “Fuck,” Chaos mutters. I assume he’s found her.
“Times ticking.” I can now hear three distinct voices.
“This isn’t fucking pretty, man,” Chaos groans as we hear her weak voice.
“Please don’t hurt me again.” Agony exudes from the quiet words, and I can’t help but feel for her.
“Ready,” Chaos says.
Lifting my M249 automatic, I exit gun first, finger on the trigger and prepared for battle. Another explosive lights the night up, and I’m able to see for a split second that the open space to the wall is clear.
“Sixty seconds,” I mutter as we start running, Chaos and the girl ahead of me. Covering their backs, I wait for him to start climbing before slinging the weapon across my back and start a hand over hand rush to the top.
“Over there, on the wall!” is yelled just as I reach the landing. A shot is fired, and my shoulder takes the hit, falling to the ground as Foster hits with his feet. I’m winded.
“Fucking run,” I bark out at him.
“I won’t leave you again.” He grips my arm and pulls me to my feet. Blood loss is quick, and the more I run, the more adrenaline pumps through me.
“Knot, get him out of here,” I hiss.
“Keep going! We’re on our way to you!” Knot yells through the line.
Every mission is always a risk. I knew this could be the end. I just didn’t think it’d be over so quickly. “We aren’t going to make it,” I mumble as another bullet rips through my thigh, and cartel men surround us. “You should have fucking left,” I snap at Chaos as he tries valiantly to keep the girl close to him.
Dropping to the ground, I raise my hands. Already knowing these men will likely kill us before they take us back.
Should have listened to my gut.
This mission was fucked before we were ever in the air.
* * *
PRESENT DAY
* * *
“Sshhh, girl,” Foster murmurs to Everett. We’ve been trapped in this hell for almost thirty-six hours now, and she’s getting worse. When we grabbed Everett, she was nude and cut to shit. We knew getting her out was risky.
Since then, Foster has given her his shirt and shared every ounce of heat he can with her, but infection is setting in, and she’s sick as a dog. If we don’t get out soon, I’m not certain she’ll make it.
“How you doing, man?” Foster nods to my shoulder and thigh. Shoulder hurts like hell, but the bullet was a through and through. The thigh was a graze. Nothing I can’t handle.
“Codie’s gonna be pissed at me,” I say, unable to think of what her reaction is going to be.
“I don’t envy you.” He laughs. Ev whimpers. “We gotta find a way out.” His whispered words echo my thoughts exactly.
“They won’t leave without us.” Not a single member of our team is the kind to leave a man behind.
Foster levels me with a look. “We were forced to last time.”
“Not the time, man, not the fucking time.” The very last thing I want to think or talk about is Syria. I don’t need to relive my first capture while enduring a second.
“Yeah.” He drops his head against the wall. “But we all felt it, man. It wasn’t an easy choice.”
Before I can answer, the cell door slams open and three men walk through. One grabs for each of us, but it’ll be through our dead bodies that we let them rape the girl again.
Chapter 16
Codie
I keep checking the time. Waiting for what I’m not sure, but it’s been four days since Ryder left, and my worry has amplified with every passing sunset.
His sister, Hayes, has called me at least twice a day to chat. I like her well enough, but she talks a lot. From what she’s said, I realize Ryder’s told her how fucked up I am. Maybe in a nicer way, but she knows all the same.
The sound of slamming doors has me pushing the chair back from my table where I’d been eating dinner and rushing to the door.
“One, two, three,” I whisper as each lock disengages. The door opens, and all the air in my lungs whooshes out as I see two men walking up my driveway. “No,” I gasp, feeling my legs weaken.
“Whoa there, hang on, Codie.” Theo grabs me before I crash to the ground. “Deep breaths. Take a minute.”
“Is he…” I can’t even say it.
Staring at Nix in the illumination of the porch light, his hard mask doesn’t give me hope. “He’s not,” the big man confirms as Theo walks me over to the couch.
“So, what’s going on then?” I look between them, hoping for an easy answer, knowing I’m going to get a heart-breaking one.
Nix is the one to grab my hands in his and offer comfort as he speaks. “He was captured alongside Foster and the woman we were sent in to retrieve.” My world tilts on its axis, and I sudde
nly can’t breathe.
“We got him out,” Theo is quick to reassure, and my head stops spinning.
“But he’s in the hospital,” Nix replies immediately. “It’s not bad; he’s been worse. He asked us to come and tell you what’s going on.” His stare implores me to understand what he’s saying.
“Is this because of me?” Horror spreads through me like wildfire. I don’t think I could live with myself if I’m the reason Ryder and two more people were captured.
Theo remains quiet, and Nix’s head drops to his chest. I guess I have my answer. It’s crushing knowing I caused all of this pain.
“It’s not because of you, Codie. Christ.” Nix drags a hand down his face before looking at me again. “I’m sorry I made you feel like that. Theo has been kicking my ass for days, and Ryder, well, I’d let him.”
“Then I don’t understand what the look was about.” I hate this confusion.
“I know you’ve been working on getting past your fears of the world. And from what I hear, you’ve been doing one hell of a bang-up job. But Codie, Ryder could use you. At his side,” Nix explains, and I understand now.
“Let’s go.” My words are stronger than my emotions right now, and I’m not entirely certain I’ll be able to do it, but for Ryder, I have to try with every ounce of strength I have in me.
They share a look of doubt. “Are you sure?” Theo asks.
“I’m not. Even a little bit. But I took what you said to heart, Nix. I don’t want to be the reason Ryder, or any of you, is hurt. I also don’t want to let Ryder out of my life so easily. He’s part of me, and I can’t lose that.” My lip wobbles at just the thought.
“Christ, girl. Come here.” Nix keeps shocking me as he pulls me into his chest and rubs my back, offering more comfort than I thought was possible from the man.
