Missing in Action

by KL Donn

  I no longer care what he does to me. I refuse to shoulder the blame of the death of a woman who wanted nothing to do with her grandchild. He can’t hang this over my head. They made their choices, and Lucas and I were never part of them.

  “If you had just kept your legs closed, this wouldn’t even be a problem.” His vicious snarl takes me back.

  “Me? What about Jason? He was the one who wanted to! I wasn’t ready!”

  “Are you saying he raped you?” This man is unhinged.

  “No! I’m saying Jason put pressure on me. I was scared, my parents were uncaring. I only wanted to be loved.” I hate how much I’m being forced to relive a past I’d much rather move on from.

  There’s a shift in the air. A deadly presence I can’t see but most certainly feel. I try to concentrate on the sounds around me when I feel the cold steel of a blade against my throat. Terror strikes me, and I freeze. My heart pulses and stops. I can’t think straight, and before I can even try to beg for my life, Mr. Jones murmurs in my ear, “Say hello to Allison,” as I feel the blade dig into my neck and drops of blood trickle down my throat to my chest.

  Tears pour down my cheeks as I realize this is the end.

  Chapter 20

  Ryder

  After sleeping on the flight into Scranton, I feel better and more able to tackle the most important part of our mission. “You sure you’re good?” Theo asks for the fifth time since landing as we pull up a few blocks from the store we believe Codie is being held in.

  “I’m fine, Phantom, and if you ask me once more, I’m going to shoot you in the foot.” We alerted the police to what we’re doing here, and they’re sending a SWAT team to assist, but I’m not waiting, and neither is my team.

  Set out in a dead part of town, there’s isn’t much fear of bystanders getting in the way, so we move forward as one unit. “Two heat signatures in the building,” Weston relays from his position a block up with Nix.

  “Tac, Phantom, you hold back. Wait for my call,” Nix commands as he and Wes move closer. Foster runs ahead with a battering ram to infiltrate the chained front door. “Breach in three, two, one. Go, go, go!”

  Foster knocks the door in, Weston tosses in a flashbang, and they wait until it goes off before entering the building with guns raised, prepared for anything.

  “Down!”

  “Hands!”

  “Drop the knife!”

  And I’m off and running. “Fuck, Ryder, wait!” Theo calls out behind me, but soon he’s beside me as we enter the building.

  Sirens can be heard blaring in the distance, but all I see is Codie…

  Blindfolded.

  Tied to a chair.

  A huge bruise on her cheek.

  Blood dripping from a cut in her neck.

  Slowly maneuvering my way over to her, I drop to the ground as I reach for the mask over her eyes. “Dove?” I whisper, hoping she’s with me still. I don’t know what I’ll do in a world without her.

  “Get an ambo,” Nix orders as he drags the older man to his feet and hauls him outside.

  “Codie.” My voice is harder. I can see her chest rising and falling slowly, so I know she’s with me. She’s alive. But I cannot tell if she’s conscious. She moans but doesn’t move to waken or let me know she realizes I’m here. “What the fuck did he do to you?”

  “Let’s get her untied,” Weston suggests as he pulls a knife from his pocket and starts slicing through the rope holding her hostage to the chair. Rope burns mark her wrists and ankles from her struggling, and my anger is renewed as we gently glide her to lay on the floor.

  “This wasn’t how it was supposed to be,” I murmur into her hair.

  “This isn’t your fault, man,” Wes tries to reassure.

  “But it is. I should have kept looking. I shouldn’t have become complacent.” When I found that her ex was out of the country, I didn’t imagine the father was the one after her. I never would have guessed that.

  “This dirty son of a bitch.” Theo comes storming back into the room. “Says it’s her fault that his wife killed herself. Fucking weak bastard.”

  “What?” I roar. Standing, I leave Codie in the care of Wes as I go looking for Ben Jones. “Hey!” I snap as I come up on Nix holding him against the bumper of our SUV that Foster must have brought over.

  “What?” Ben groans.

  “Why? Why the fuck did you come after her?” I need to hear it from his mouth.

  “She made my son leave. My wife killed herself when she found out the baby was dead.” He spits on the ground. “It should be her buried, not my wife.”

  Disbelief renders me mute. “You guys pushed her away. Tossed money at her to have an abortion. She did what she could with the path she was pushed onto. None of this is on her shoulders. You’re the man. Where the fuck was your integrity?” Pushing into him, I crowd his body into the glass until he has nowhere else to go.

  “Whatever,” he mutters.

  “You didn’t even teach your son to be a man. Take care of his responsibilities. But that’s okay. I’m man enough to own up to them for you both. I’ll take care of her. I’ll nurture the few memories she has of a son who was too good for the likes of you deadbeats.” Walking away, I’m more determined than ever to break Codie out of her shell and show her the world isn’t such a bad place to be when you have the right people on your side.

  With the police and ambulance rolling in, I know I don’t have much time before Codie is taken to a local hospital, and she’s going to need me every step of the way. Entering the building, I see Weston is trying to coax her awake with a cool cloth on her neck and cheeks. Paramedics rush in once they arrive and take over the scene.

  Standing on the sidelines isn’t in my forte, but I wait until they give me the all clear to come in closer because my own strength is waning, and I’d rather not be the patient again.

  “Hey, man, you all right?” Theo asks as they load Codie on a stretcher. I can hear Nix barking orders outside, so I know he’s got the police handled.

  “Yeah. I’m fine,” I tell him as the medics start rolling Codie out. “I’ll see you there.”

  “Son of a bitch should be charged federally,” Nix barks at some guy in a suit. Probably a high-ranking cop.

  “Listen, we need to investigate. I asked you to wait on SWAT,” the man retorts.

  “And I told you a girl’s life was at risk, and that she was taken across state lines. That makes this federal. That means this is mine, and I’ll do with him as I please.” Nix snaps back and steps into the guy’s personal space. If I weren’t so exhausted, I’d be laughing at his expense.

  “Commander!” I yell. He looks at me with a quirked eyebrow. “Give Asher McCall a ring. I’m sure he’ll happily deal with this. You know he loves paperwork.” Asher is our contact at the Department of Justice who often deals with situations such as this, where law enforcement doesn’t need to know exactly what it is that we do.

  Nix smirks as he pulls out his phone. McCall will be here in an hour. Two tops.

  Climbing in the ambulance with Codie, I hold her hand as we roll out, and for the first time in years, I fucking pray this entire experience hasn’t set her back from all the hard work she’s put in to this point.

  Codie

  * * *

  Beep. Beep. Beep.

  I know those sounds.

  Nothing good comes from them.

  Fear, pain, annoyance, they all roll through me with the speed of a lightning bolt. With the destruction of one, too.

  I should be panicking. I’m obviously not at home. Or anywhere I actually want to be, but I’m feeling light. High.

  The last thing I remember is a cold blade at my neck, and my entire body tenses as I wonder if I’m dead. Maybe that’s why I’m not flipping out like I normally would be.

  Reaching up with a free hand, I feel a small bandage on my neck, and the pressure of poking at it causes pain, so I’m not dead. I’m very much alive.

  Chancing to open my ey
es, the room is dimly lit, and as I search the room, I see Ryder asleep in a chair in one corner with an older couple standing and talking outside the window above him. Doctors, nurses, and visiting people walk by with no idea that my world is shifting.

  The paralyzing fear I’ve been so consumed with for years is absent. Or at the very least, put on the back burner. I don’t have the usual tunnel vision, and I can breathe without restraint.

  “Knock, knock.” The door slowly opens and in walks my therapist, Amy. “Oh, hi, Codie. I wasn’t expecting you to be awake yet.” Her voice is hushed as Ryder sleeps on.

  “What’s going on?” I whisper the question.

  “Well, it’s been about two days since you were brought in. Only one since Ryder had you transferred to Charleston.” I watch her expectantly. The woman is smart. She knows what I’m asking and sits on the bed next to me, even though this is the first time we’ve met face to face. We’ve had plenty of Skype sessions, so I don’t feel like she’s a stranger. “I owe you a huge apology, Codie.”

  I’m confused. “I don’t understand.”

  “That first time we talked two years ago, I never once considered you had a chemical imbalance from postpartum depression. I should have, and I feel horrible I didn’t.” She shakes her head, and I remain silent. “Your crippling fear of the outside world was very real. And I tried my best to understand all your fears and anxieties. What I should have been focusing on was your loss.”

  Looking down, I shrug. I don’t know where she’s going with this, but I doubt I’d have been easily fixed at any point before now.

  “You didn’t just lose Lucas, Codie. You lost your parents, your boyfriend. A family that until you became pregnant, had become your own.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying,” she sighs. “I misdiagnosed you with borderline agoraphobia. While I believe there is some of that in there, I don’t believe it’s the underlying problem to your mental state.”

  “So, what is?” I half laugh because what else could it be?

  “Fear, Codie. With a good mix of postpartum depression.”

  “Fear? How can fear make me unable to leave my house?” I snort, completely skeptical of what she’s saying.

  “Because,” Ryder’s voice breaks the silence as he walks over. “You were so afraid of letting yourself feel anything again, it was easier to lock yourself away and forget what it felt like to live again.” He sits on the bed on the opposite side of Amy and cups my jaw in his hand. Turning my tear-filled eyes to look at him. “God, dove. You were hurt so damn bad. Worse than anyone should ever be. You were rejected by every fucking person in your life.”

  “Right,” I respond. “Needed that reminder.” Let’s not forget that one of those people also kidnapped and tried to kill me.

  “No, dove. You don’t. But to move on, you need to be able to count on people again. You need someone in your life who is going to show you what it’s like to live and be happy.” His feelings are more than transparent in his tone as he leans forward, laying a light kiss on my lips.

  The damn breaks and all the pain, the heartache, the agony of losing my entire life and locking myself away for nearly three years breaks free and huge, pain-filled sobs burst from my heart.

  The rejection.

  The loss.

  The heartache.

  It’s all real. It’s here. A living, breathing beast inside my body, and I can’t slow down the projection of pictures that enter my mind as each shattering memory plays like a sad movie.

  “Oh god,” I scream into the room, releasing my agony. Purging the demons from my body as Ryder holds my weakened frame.

  “I’ve got you, dove. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” His words are whispered in my ear as people rush into the room.

  “Codie,” Amy calls my name, and it sounds like it’s coming through a tunnel again. “I’m going to give you a very light sedative. Nothing to put you to sleep, but just enough to calm you down, okay?”

  The weight of the world is crushing my chest and taking a breath proves difficult as I try to tell her yes. Nodding instead, I cling to Ryder like the lifeline he has become.

  “Please don’t leave me,” I beg of him.

  “Not happening.” Pushing me back into the bed, he lays down beside me as the medication pours through my bloodstream like a lazy creek on a Sunday morning after a light rainfall.

  “Codie, these are Ryder’s parents, Eric and Andrea Morrison.” Amy points to the older couple I’d observed over Ryder’s sleeping form when I first woke up. “They’re going to be in town for a couple of weeks or until Hayes goes into labor.” My brain is becoming too foggy to understand why they need to be here.

  “Why?” My question is blunt, but Amy grins at me anyways, knowing full-well why.

  “They want to get to know you. They also want to reassure you that even when Ryder is gone for work, they’re here for you, too.”

  “Oh.” My eyelids are growing heavy, and I can feel myself falling into a state of ambiguity. With so much happening around me, I genuinely need time to reflect on the changes.

  With the mix of exhaustion and the sedative, I find myself ready for sleep again. “Sleep, dove. I’ll be here watching over you,” Ryder whispers into my neck, and I’m secure in the knowledge that he’ll be here when I need him.

  Chapter 21

  Ryder

  Holding Codie through the night, pushing her nightmares out of her mind, is the greatest honor I’ve ever been given. Through this entire ordeal the past four days, Amy and I have gotten to know each other quite well. She’s given me insight into what’s happening in the darkest corners of Codie’s mind so I can help her heal and move forward with her life.

  First and foremost is closure. Codie was able to bury Lucas. She gave him all the love she could at the time, but we both agree, she has some lingering feelings she needs to expel. I’ve already booked us a flight to South Dakota next week. Once she’s strong enough to leave the hospital.

  Even though Codie has been lightly sedated, she still suffers with some anxiety. After a long talk with her last night when she woke from a bad dream, she confessed that with what Amy said about her hiding from being hurt again, the idea of going out into the world doesn’t seem nearly as terrifying.

  “Now listen here, mister. That is my child in there, and I am damn well going to see her.” A shrewd voice breaks the silence of the early morning, and while Codie moves, she doesn’t wake as I climb out of the bed I’ve been sharing with her.

  The stitches in my leg and shoulder pull as I move gingerly after being resewn when we got here. Stepping softly, I open the door a crack and slip out, pulling it shut behind me. “Can I help you?” I glare at the man and woman I suspect are Codie’s parents.

  “I’m trying to see my daughter,” she huffs.

  “And you are…” I let the question hang.

  “Maya and Clark Ray. We received a phone call three days ago that she was brought in.” Fucking Theo. I told him not to call them. Shit stirrer that one.

  “I’m Ryder Morrison–”

  “The rude man who called me?” Maya interrupts before I can say anything else.

  “If by rude, you mean the man who cares about Codie, rescued her, and is currently making sure she gets what she needs to heal, then yeah, I’m the rude man.” Clark remains silent as his gaze watches the door I’m blocking.

  “Can we see her, please?” Maya smarts off.

  “No,” I tell her, crossing my arms over my chest. “She’s sleeping right now.”

  “Jason’s father did this?” Clark finally speaks.

  “Yeah, he did.” My glare doesn’t lessen. I have no respect for these people and what they did. I won’t allow them anywhere near Codie unless she directly asks for it. “He blames Codie for the suicide of his wife when she found out Lucas was still-born.”

  “You say his name like he was alive,” Clark observes. Not in a malicious or mean manner, but shocke
d. He’s surprised.

  “He was very much alive in Codie’s body. In her heart. He’s alive in her memories. Speaking of him as just a fetus will only break her spirit.”

  “I understand.” He nods, tears hover in his eyes as his wife moves in closer to him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

  “Why are you here?” My question is direct because I don’t want to mess around.

  Maya shocks me with her words. “We screwed up. We pushed Codie out the door and didn’t offer comfort and support when she needed it most. We always thought our daughter was out here with her baby just living.” She looks at the door. “I had no idea she was hurting so bad.”

  I’m not satisfied with their answers. I’m not sure I ever will be. I can’t imagine my parents throwing me away quite like these two did to Codie, so granting them something I have no hopes in understanding is impossible.

  “Come back around lunch. I’ll ask her if she wants to see you.” Turning, I enter Codie’s room again, not giving either of them a chance to say anything.

  “Ryder?” Codie’s soft voice drags me to her bedside as she gazes up at me with clear eyes.

  “Hi, dove,” I coo, running a finger down her cheek and along her jaw. Her soft flesh begs to be kissed. Leaning forward, I lay light pecks along her neck, up to her jaw, and seize her mouth with an intoxicating exploration.

  Licking her lips, I suck the bottom one into my mouth before cupping the back of her head and hauling her up and into my lap. I could spend hours just kissing Codie as she moans her delight. Tangling our tongues together in a soft duel for more.

  “When can I go home?” She pulls back breathless. But I can’t stop tasting her. I’m desperate for more of her sweet flavor.

  “Soon,” I growl into her ear as I suck the lobe into my mouth. Pushing her back onto the bed, I lay over her, hands touching anywhere they can reach as she yanks my shirt up my back and pulls me closer.