On the Same Page (Secrets Book 4)

by K. C. Wells

  “Very good, sir. Do you have a preference for your syrah?”

  “You pick. Something nice, please.” Xavier’s eyes sparkled. “I’m trying to show my guest a good time.”

  And there it was again—the reassurance that Xavier was taking care of him.

  “All right. I have the perfect wine in mind.” The waiter grinned. “Your guest will be floored by it.” They all shared a laugh before he headed toward the kitchen.

  Xavier turned his attention back to Heath, leaning in, his chin resting on his clasped hands. “All right, I’ve got a question I’ve been dying to ask.”

  “Go ahead.” Heath mimicked his body language.

  “How is it that someone like you—smart, funny, adventurous, sexy—hasn’t been snapped up yet? I mean, I’m not complaining, you understand. I’m just shocked.”

  Oh. Whatever else Heath had expected, that wasn’t it. “Let’s just say that in a world full of princes, I usually found myself kissing a toad.”

  Xavier’s gaze narrowed slightly. “Did you want to explain that?”

  No, he really didn’t, but it was too late for that.

  “Oh boy.” Heath expelled a long sigh. “Where do I start? How about with Eric. He was my boyfriend in school. Charming, handsome, and a total narcissist. He wanted—no, he needed—to be the center of attention. If the conversation wasn’t about him, he would find a way to make it so.”

  Xavier huffed. “I’ve known a few Erics. Go on.”

  “We dated for a month, and then when my birthday rolled around and I didn’t get so much as a call from him, I figured we were through. A natural assumption, wouldn’t you say? Two days later, he calls to ask if I want to go with him to a local ceremony, because he was getting an award. I… might have got a bit snarky. I think I said something like ‘I had a great birthday, thank you for asking.’ He got huffy, said he had other things going on and did I want to go. No apology, nothing. So I told him no, and that he could go on his own to collect his award. In fact, I suggested that he lose my number.”

  Xav winced. “Ouch. Sorry about that.”

  Heath took refuge in the bread basket. He grabbed a piece, slathered it with butter, then ripped a hunk off and stuffed it in his mouth. After he swallowed, he turned his attention back to Xavier. “Unfortunately, he was just one in a line of arsehole guys I fell for.”

  “A run of bad luck, maybe?” Xavier suggested.

  Heath shook his head. “It took me a while to realize it wasn’t them—it was me. I seemed destined to find the ones that would hurt me. And before you disagree with me, you need to hear about the others, because then you’ll see I’m right.” Besides, now that he’d started, there was no stopping him. “So… after I started my first job—and don’t ask what it was, because the less we talk about that place, the happier I am—this guy asked me out. I could have swooned, because all the girls in the office were jealous that he’d asked me. So there we were, on our first date, sitting in a restaurant, and the waitress came over. I said hi, and he snapped at me for being overly friendly. Then he browbeat the poor woman until I thought she was going to cry, because she couldn’t get him what he wanted.” Heath could still see her face, the hurt she couldn’t hide. “After she’d walked away, he started in about how she shouldn’t be seen in public, because she was so fat and her hair was a mess. I got up, tossed some money on the table, and thanked him for a memorable evening.”

  “Good for you,” Xavier said warmly.

  Heath gave him a smile. “When I got back to work, the ladies swarmed around me, demanding details. Now, I wasn’t going to say anything, but then I recalled how he’d treated the waitress. What if he asked one of my coworkers out, and she got the same treatment? I couldn’t keep quiet about it.” Heath set his jaw. “Do you know, they made excuses for his behavior?”

  Admitting out loud how crappy his track record with guys was really didn’t make him feel any better. Still, Xavier had asked the question, and Heath found himself on a roller coaster, unable to stop until he’d vented the anger that had built up inside him.

  “Next came Tolly.” When Xavier arched his eyebrows, Heath had to smile. “Yes, that really was his name. He was blond and reminded me of the surfer boys you see in the films. He was cool, laid-back, utterly gorgeous, totally out of my league, and he still asked me out. I should have known something was wrong when he didn’t show up for a couple of dates and always had some excuse. But, stupid me, I was sure it had been my fault. Maybe I didn’t give him the right information or something.”

  “There you go again, blaming yourself,” Xavier said quietly. “I hate to break it to you, but if he was an arsehole, that was totally down to him. You had nothing to do with it.”

  Heath was stunned into silence for a moment. Xavier’s voice held such warmth.

  “So what happened with the gorgeous Tolly?”

  “After about six months, he said we should move in together. I was all for that. I was head over heels. The second month, he promised me he’d leave his half of the rent on the table. I said that was fine, because it was due that day. When I got home, Tolly was nowhere to be seen, just like the money. I had to dip into my savings to cover it. When he got home and I mentioned it, he swore it had slipped his mind. Just like paying me back did, I guess. All totaled, I lost almost a thousand pounds before I wised up.”

  Xavier growled. “What an arse.”

  Heath expelled a breath. “Don’t worry. I saved the best for last.”

  Right then the waiter appeared with their plate of carpaccio beef. He expertly opened the wine and poured out a little before handing the glass to Xavier, who sniffed it, sipped a bit, swirled it on his tongue, then pronounced it delicious. Heath was impressed. He didn’t know people really did that stuff. The server poured them each a glass, and Heath took a gulp.

  Xavier took a forkful of beef and let out an appreciative noise. Heath tried some and savored its taste. “Oh, that’s good.”

  Xavier gave him a thoughtful glance. “You know, you don’t have to tell me any more stories.”

  “It’s okay. This really is the last one. About eight months before I opened the bookshop, I was seeing a guy who seemed to have it all. He knew how to talk, with just the right thing to say. He remembered my birthday, always sent me little gifts, and texted me every day to tell me he missed me or how he couldn’t wait to see me again. There was only one fly in the ointment. He worked away a lot, so we didn’t get together as often as I would have liked.”

  “Worked away?”

  “Yeah, that was what he said. Anyway, one day he sent me flowers. I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face when I saw them. I set them on my desk, and they smelled amazing. Then one of my coworkers came by and found the card that had fallen off. He looked at it and asked me, ‘Who is Amanda?’”

  Xavier stilled. “Oh no. Tell me he didn’t.”

  “Yup. Wife and two kids. All those times he was ‘working away,’ he was actually at home with them.” Heath grabbed the napkin and dabbed his eyes with it. Even after all this time, it still hurt. “And the cherry on top? He said he was sorry he’d given me his wife’s anniversary present, but he still wanted to see me.”

  Xavier bit his lip. “Tell me he was on the receiving end of some very choice words.”

  Heath huffed. “I wasn’t going to waste words on him. I walked out with my head held high. That lasted until I got home, where I collapsed on the couch and cried my eyes out.”

  Heath wanted to blow his nose, but without a tissue he….

  “Here.” Xavier pulled his handkerchief from his pocket. “If you don’t want to continue, I’ll totally understand.”

  Heath took the proffered cloth and blew. He gave Xavier a sheepish grin. “Sorry.”

  “Nothing to be sorry about, I assure you. Are you okay?”

  He nodded, then steeled his resolve to get the story out. “After that, I decided relationships were too much work, so I just did the occasional hookup. And even those w
ere awful. It was then that I realized men in books were better, because they never disappointed you, they were usually sexy as hell, and they were almost always decent.”

  “Book boyfriends only have one drawback, as far as I can see,” Xavier commented.

  “And what’s that?”

  “They’re terrible at keeping you warm at night.” He gestured to the beef. “Eat. Then we can decide on the rest of dinner.”

  Heath did as instructed, relishing the appetizer as much as the opportunity to stop talking. What must he think of me after hearing all that? When they’d finished, the waiter appeared, took away their plates, and handed them the menus once more. Heath perused it, but his stomach was still in knots.

  After a few minutes, Xavier put his menu on the table, refilled Heath’s glass, and leaned forward. “What’s on your mind? And don’t say nothing, because it’s obvious.”

  Heath stared into the ruby-colored wine. “I’m… just embarrassed. That’s all.”

  “Why?”

  He jerked his head up. “You sit there, after hearing my litany of fiascos, and ask me that?”

  Xavier smirked. “You haven’t heard mine yet.” When Heath widened his eyes, Xavier nodded knowingly. “Aha. Let me guess. I couldn’t possibly have any boyfriend fuck-ups because I’m a Dom?” He chuckled. “If I had a pound for every time someone made an assumption about being Dominant, or BDSM, I’d be a very rich man.”

  The tense knots inside him relaxed, and Heath breathed more easily. “I see the way people react to you at the club, in restaurants, wherever you are. You… breathe confidence. I just assumed that—”

  “That I hadn’t had my share of disappointments and fiascos, like you?” Xavier sighed. “Although most of my disasters were due to false assumptions, I have to say.”

  “Like what?” Heath was definitely intrigued.

  Xavier regarded him thoughtfully. “Imagine for a moment that you didn’t know about the BDSM part of my life. How would you describe me?”

  Heath considered the question. “In control.”

  Xavier nodded again. “And when you first invited me into your bed, what—”

  Heath couldn’t hold back his snicker. “That’s not the way I remember it. I believe it was a choice of you taking me over my counter or in a bed.”

  Xavier grinned. “I put it like that because given the present circumstances, inviting me sounds better than you demanding that I fuck you.” He dropped his voice to a low murmur. “Whatever. Was I in control that night? Was it me calling the shots?”

  “I seem to think we were both being pretty demanding, but yeah, you were definitely in the driving seat.”

  Xavier smiled. “Okay. Well, some of the guys I’ve dated—especially those in the lifestyle—had difficulty accepting that I could still be in control, while their dick was in my arse.”

  Heath blinked. Blinked again. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

  Xavier sighed once more. “I almost expect a Does Not Compute sign to flash in your eyes.”

  Heath tried again. “But… you’re the one on top. So to speak.”

  “And that means I can’t call the shots while I’m getting fucked? You could be balls-deep in me, and I could still have complete control.”

  For a second, Heath’s mind veered off on a tangent at that image, and he coughed violently.

  Xavier gave him a startled glance. “Oh God. I’ve just realized how that came out. I wasn’t implying you personally could be balls—”

  Heath held up his hand. “Stop right there. I know relatively speaking you haven’t known me all that long, and we might only have done three or four scenes, but….” He gave Xavier a wry smile. “Don’t go making assumptions.”

  It was Xavier’s turn to cough.

  He took a drink from his glass. “Okay. Going back to what I was saying…. Think of it this way. We went through a list of activities, trying to determine what you needed from a scene. So we could meet your needs. Right?” Heath nodded, and Xavier smiled. “Okay. Well, I have needs too. Surprise! Now and again, I like to bottom. Why? Because it feels bloody good. But here’s where the misconceptions come flooding in. Some guys—well, a lot of them—hear that, and automatically think I’m a submissive. I try to break it to them that bottoming is not necessarily a submissive act. I may enjoy the physical… stimulation,” he added, his lips twitching, “but that doesn’t mean I’m submitting to the person who’s screwing me.” He peered intently at Heath. “You’re looking at me like I’ve suddenly grown a second head.”

  Heath cleared his throat. “I guess I’m as guilty as those other guys. I assumed because you’re a Dom that you always top.”

  “And maybe this is the point where you learn that a top and a Dom are not the same thing, at least not all the time. By the way, I know guys who are perfectly happy with both roles—Dominant and submissive.”

  “Can you be both?” This was clearly Heath’s night for learning a whole heap of new stuff.

  Xavier laughed. “Funnily enough, they’re called a switch.”

  “But you’re not one of them,” Heath ventured.

  Xavier’s look of approval filled him with pride. I guess you’re never too old to learn new things. Even if some of those things messed with your head and challenged what you thought you knew.

  Then Xavier glanced over his shoulder. “Our waiter is hovering. We’d better order.”

  Heath picked up his menu and tried to give it serious consideration, but his mind was buzzing with questions. It wasn’t until Xavier had ordered their food that Heath realized he knew the perfect people to deal with his questions.

  Wednesday night’s first book club meeting might prove to be very illuminating.

  Chapter Fourteen

  WHAT IF they don’t like the book? What if they’ve all changed their minds?

  Heath knew he was being irrational. If the subs had changed their minds in the intervening week, he’d have heard about it by now. He didn’t think Rob could stay quiet for that long. And what if they didn’t like the book?

  There were other books. Lots of them.

  That knowledge didn’t stop him from trembling as he got into the lift to go up to Subspace.

  No sign of Xavier, of course, not that Heath had thought there would be. He’d deliberately chosen a midweek night for their meetings, knowing Xavier would probably be working. Because if he wasn’t? Xavier could be a huge distraction. And this particular evening Heath really didn’t want him around.

  Heath knew why this club mattered so much. Books were his life, and he wanted to share that part of him with these men who could easily become his closest friends. After all, that was why he’d taken the plunge and become a member of Secrets. It was the only option that made sense. He might have only visited a few times, but Heath felt comfortable enough to be himself there.

  Comfortable enough to ask his new friends’ advice too.

  Filling in the online form had been the easy part. Answering all Ellis’s questions in the interview? Heath could tell he’d been a copper. Then everything fell into place. He got his welcome letter from Eli and Jarod, he paid his membership fee—grateful that subs got it for less than a Dom—and on Saturday, he called Xavier to celebrate.

  Except Xavier’s idea of a celebration had been a little… different. Not to mention memorable. Heath had been interviewing for the job of assistant baker, and after Xavier had instructed him to lie down on a bench, he’d proceeded to cover Heath in butter icing, sprinkles, whipped cream, and other sweet items before licking them all off with a very slow tongue, telling Heath that if he came, there would be a punishment.

  Heath hadn’t lasted five minutes. Xavier’s hot tongue dragging over his balls had been the straw that broke the camel’s back. The punishment had been just as hot. He’d had to sit there and listen as Xavier spoke in a low, throaty whisper about all the things he wanted to do to Heath. Then he sent Heath home with a cock so hard, he could have used it as a sharpening stee
l for his kitchen knives.

  “You!”

  Heath jerked his head up, not even aware the lift doors had opened, and found Ellis standing there, his hands on his hips, glaring at him. “Me?”

  He crooked a finger at Heath, grabbed his cane, then turned and clomped down the hall. When he got to the door for Subspace, he gestured down the hall, and the guard buzzed them in. They entered the room, and Heath was glad no one else had come yet. If he was going to have a problem, he’d rather no one else knew.

  “Sit.”

  Without a word, Heath sat in one of the overstuffed chairs.

  Ellis dropped down onto the couch and leveled a harsh glare at Heath. “What the hell did you do to me?”

  Heath blinked. “What do you mean? I didn’t do anything.” He couldn’t think what Ellis was talking about.

  Ellis expelled a long breath. “So… I got my copy of Duck! and I thought, this is going to be a waste of time, but I might as well take a look inside, now that Heath’s gone to all this trouble.” His face flushed. “And when I’d finished it, I went looking for other books too. Wayne found out, bought me an e-reader, then gave me a link to a publisher of what he called MM romance.”

  Heath was trying not to laugh. “And what’s wrong with any of that?”

  “What’s…? I read Duck! in one night, then bought ten more books, and now I’m reading those every chance I get. I also bought Harry Potter, some books by John Grisham because Rob said how great they were, and…. You don’t even want to know how much money I spent. When Wayne gets the bill, he’s going to have an aneurysm.”

  Heath chuckled. “Reading is addictive. There are so many amazing authors out there, and you’ll never get through them all. The best thing? There’s something for everyone. If you’re finding MM romance is something you like, I can suggest some authors you might find interesting. I’m glad you’re not limiting yourself to one genre, though. Action, adventure, science fiction, other kinds of shifters. If you can imagine it, someone has written a book about it.”