Love Like Theirs
Page 11
Keira frowned. “I didn’t even realize Finland used to be part of Russia.”
Jossi nodded. “Yes. Now our country is officially called the Republic of Finland, but back in 1809 we were part of the Russian Empire, right up until the revolution in 1917 when we declared independence.”
Keira was fascinated. “That’s amazing. I had no idea.”
For the first time, Jossi’s defenses seemed to come down a little. He regarded her as if seeing for the first time someone who was eager to learn, who wanted to be educated, rather than some silly romantic American.
“Are you really interested in Finnish history?” he asked. “Most people just want to take photos of statues. No one ever listens to what I have to say.”
“I’m interested,” Keira said, nodding.
Jossi looked impressed.
They headed on to the next location, and as they walked, Jossi told Keira more about the history of the place. As he’d predicted, the rest of the group didn’t seem interested at all. They just wanted photographs. But Keira listened with rapt attention as he told her how Finland was the first country in the world to grant all adults the right to vote, and about the Soviet Union attempting to occupy Finland during World War II but being ultimately unsuccessful. She absorbed all the information like a sponge.
Jossi led them through the Kauppatori Market, past the Havis Amanda, a nude female statue, and on to the restaurant-filled streets of Esplanadi.
As they walked and chatted, Jossi seemed to warm considerably, becoming quite animated, leaving his frosty persona behind him. In fact, he reminded Keira somewhat of Felix, with a calm, grandfatherly aura.
They reached their final stop on the tour, the Temppeliaukio Church. Jossi’s guiding duties were over, and the group dispersed throughout the church, leaving just him and Keira behind.
“It’s over?” she asked, feeling a little disappointed. She’d adored the tour, seeing so much of the city, and Jossi imparting his wisdom on her.
“Yes. But so is my shift,” Jossi said. “If you want, I can show you around some more.”
Keira had a sudden flash of an image, of her and Jossi, like Felix and Bryn, going for ten-kilometer runs before breakfast, shopping for furniture. But of course, that wasn’t her. She wasn’t even attracted to Jossi. He certainly wasn’t attracted to her. It was just an innocent offer.
She let the silly imagery fade from her mind and looked up at Jossi, smiling.
“I’d like that,” she agreed.
*
Jossi took her to the Helsinki Cathedral, a centrally located and formidable-looking building of white stone and turquoise domed turrets. His specialty was churches. Keira couldn’t help but draw parallels in her mind with Cristiano, who adored church architecture.
The cathedral grounds were filled with tourists, but Jossi knew exactly where to go to get away from the crowds, showing Keira some shops and cafes tucked away from the main paths.
“Have you always lived in Helsinki?” Keira asked Jossi as they turned down a quiet alleyway.
“Oh no,” he chuckled. “I spent months of my life in Nepal.”
“Nepal?” Keira asked, surprised.
He laughed, as though delighted by her reaction. “Yes. In my youth, I was a mountaineer.”
Keira’s eyes widened further. “Nepal. That’s where Everest is, right?”
Crinkles of happiness appeared at the sides of Jossi’s eyes. “You’re correct.”
“Did you…”
“Summit Everest? Almost. But my climbing partner got into difficulties during our summit attempt and we had to turn back. We were only a few feet from the top of the world.”
“That must have been, I don’t know…” Keira said, pondering. “…hard. Turning back, I mean.”
“Perhaps it would have been hard, but my climbing partner was also my wife, so there wasn’t that much of a moral dilemma involved.”
“Your wife,” Keira repeated aloud. She hadn’t meant to, but she felt herself straying into interview territory. Suddenly, she wanted to know all about Jossi and his life climbing mountains with his wife. It was so far from her own life, and it fascinated her. “Can you tell me about her?”
“Of course,” Jossi said. “We did everything together. Partners in all senses of the word. Equals. We climbed amazing peaks, all over the world. Everest was on our wish list but it just wasn’t meant to be.”
“The equality you mentioned,” Keira said. “Do you think that was a mountaineering thing, or a Finnish thing?”
He chuckled. “Maybe a bit of both.” Then he shook his head. “No. Actually. It is a Finnish thing. Definitely. And probably why we were such a successful pair on the mountains. When you share the washing up and laundry, it is not such a stretch to share responsibilities on a cliff face.”
“You shared chores?”
“Oh yes. And this was back in the seventies.” He laughed again. “I’d never expect my wife to wash my socks without reciprocating the favor.”
“That sounds… well, pretty great,” Keira admitted.
Jossi laughed again. “It’s strange to me that a young woman in the free world would find that unusual.”
They’d just reached a cafe, and Jossi gestured toward it. “Would you like a tea? To warm yourself up? We’ve been outside for hours now.”
Keira suddenly became aware of her frozen extremities. “Yes, that would be a good idea.”
They headed for the cafe door, and Keira realized that Jossi wasn’t hurrying to open it for her. That equality he spoke of also meant no chivalry. She thought of Cristiano, forever pulling chairs for her, taking her jacket from her. She wasn’t sure if a sacrifice of chivalry was worth it for someone to wash your socks every two weeks.
Inside the cafe, it was very warm and the windows were steamed up. They took a seat beside the window on a long bench that stretched the length of it. A server came over and they both ordered tea. Keira felt more comfortable doing so now since her education in Venla’s teashop.
When the server returned with their drinks, she gave Keira a curious look.
“This is a strange question,” she said. “But are you that model from Viatorum?”
Keira’s eyes widened with surprise. “I’m a writer for them,” she explained. “Not a model.”
“But that is you on the cover, isn’t it? On the Paris skyline?” She pointed, and Keira realized with mortification that there was a stack of glossy magazines on the table before them, and staring right up at her were her and Cristiano.
Keira hunkered down. “Yes,” she said sheepishly.
“I knew it!” the server exclaimed. “I love that photo. It’s so classy. Oh, and the article, of course. It was awesome. Are you writing more?”
Keira felt her cheeks turn red. “Yes. I’m writing a piece on Helsinki.”
“Amazing!” the girl said. “Can I take a picture for my profile?”
Keira could feel Jossi staring at her with surprise. She felt incredibly awkward. “Uh, yeah,” she said to the server. “I guess.”
The girl pulled a cell phone out of her pocket and positioned herself beside Keira. She pressed her cheek against Keira’s and took a selfie.
“Thanks so much,” she gushed, before scurrying away.
Keira smiled shyly. After taking a moment to collect herself, she turned to look at Jossi. His expression was one of thorough amusement.
“So, you’re a celebrity, are you?” he joked, picking up the magazine.
“No way,” Keira refuted. “I’m just a writer. That’s all. The cover was my boss’s idea.”
“Who is the man?” Jossi asked, glancing at Cristiano.
Keira felt her insides churn. She wanted to lie, to say he was just a model hired for the day, but found herself instead revealing the truth.
“My ex,” she said.
Jossi raised an eyebrow. “What happened?”
Keira’s face was still very hot, and she could feel sweat collecting on the back of her
neck. “It didn’t work out. The distance. The pressure of work and travel. It just wasn’t right in the end.”
“Mmm,” Jossi said, flipping through the pages of the magazine. “It is strange how fate works that way sometimes.”
“What do you mean?” Keira asked.
He seemed to have become quite mellow.
“Well, I mean, that you are only here for one day. And that perhaps if you’d been here longer I may have asked you out.”
Keira felt the uncomfortable pit in her stomach open up. Not because Jossi was too old for her, but because she realized, with surprise, that she might have agreed to date him. His company was enthralling. The age difference didn’t really matter when the chemistry was so strong. She understood, at last, what the deal was with Bryn and Felix. But Jossi was right. Fate was standing in the way.
“I would’ve said yes, for the record,” she told him.
Jossi nodded, like it was understood. They fell back into silence, a future that would never come to fruition hanging between them.
*
Saying goodbye to Jossi was quick, and relatively painless. They both approached it like ripping off a Band-Aid. A quick hug, a tight handshake, and then they parted, neither looking over their shoulder.
Keira headed back to the ship, filled with melancholy, but also feeling like a different person than the one who’d arrived here this morning. The whistle-stop tour of Helsinki had had a profound effect on her. For the first time, she knew exactly what she wanted to write, exactly how to approach her article.
But when she boarded the ship, she didn’t head straight to her room to write. She went up to the deck, her arms crossed tightly about her middle, and watched as the boat pulled away from the harbor. As the city of Helsinki disappeared from sight, snow began to fall.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
The ship continued, journeying onward to Stockholm, Sweden. In her cozy cabin, Keira awoke and began getting herself ready for the day. She washed and chose a comfortable outfit fit for the freezing weather she was bracing herself for.
As she dried her hair in front of the mirror, Keira thought back over her time in Helsinki. Spending time with Jossi had been really nice, without the pressure of any real romantic attraction. It had been more of a meeting of minds, a connection of souls, rather than anything else, and she cherished the experience. And thanks to him, she’d produced the best work of her trip thus far. Maybe even her career.
She’d just finished making herself up for the day when her phone began to ring. She looked over at it sitting on the table beside her bed and saw Viatorum’s name flashing up. She groaned, not in the mood for another check-in from Nina, especially after having sent her such a great passage yesterday. The last thing she wanted was to get an earful over something she was so proud of.
“Yes, Nina?” she asked in a drone voice as she answered the call.
“No,” came Elliot’s voice. “It’s me.”
“Oh,” Keira replied, a little shocked. It wasn’t often Elliot called directly. It still made her heart hitch with anxiety to speak to him on the phone. “Is everything okay?”
“Yes. It’s fine. I’m just calling to say that your last passage was great. You struck the perfect tone. Can you make sure you carry on like that when you’re in Sweden?”
“Like what exactly?” Keira asked. She didn’t want there to be any crossed wires, although she pretty much knew exactly what Elliot was about to say.
“More interactions with men,” Elliot confirmed. “It’s great to see you turn them down, to learn from them. It’s much better as a reader to see you learn about those cultural differences through experience rather than second hand like you did with Romeo and Juliet.”
Keira had expected precisely this kind of comment from Elliot. But even though she was anticipating it, it still infuriated her to hear it.
“I’m not going to put myself out there if I don’t want to,” she explained, trying to sound calm, trying to channel some of Venla’s authority. “What happened with Jossi was a natural occurrence. I’m not going to cultivate it.”
There was a pregnant pause.
“Why not?” Elliot asked, sounding as clueless as always.
“I don’t want to hurt people,” she explained, leaving off that the person getting hurt more often than not was herself. “I don’t like it.”
Elliot left another long silence. “I don’t understand what the problem is, Keira. I’m guiding you, giving you feedback, and helping you become the best writer you can be. I don’t know why you’re pushing back against that.”
Keira gritted her teeth. She hadn’t been planning on having this conversation with Elliot today, here in her cabin. She’d wanted to speak to him once she was back in New York, on home turf, face to face. But there was no point skirting around the issue any longer.
“Putting my heart on the line, time and time again,” she said, “is very tiring. Emotionally. I’ve explained this to you before. You agreed after Paris that you would let me make the decisions, that I’d be in control going forward. And now you’re going against that.”
Elliot sighed. “I’m sorry, okay? There are a million things going on in my head. You’re not the only person I’m overseeing, you know?” Another sigh. “But look, I get it. Next trip, you can pick everything, okay? Even the topic. Hell, you can stop being the Romance Guru if you really want. We’ve got a ton of amazing up and comings on staff at the moment. Meredith would take it over in a heartbeat.”
Keira bit her lip. Maybe she’d been pushing back too much, acting ungrateful. Or maybe Elliot was just threatening her. It was hard to tell. The important thing to take from the conversation, though, was that for this assignment at least, she was going to have to follow Viatorum’s rules. And that meant putting herself out there again, putting her heart on the line.
To Elliot, she replied, with an air of finality in her voice, “Fine. For this assignment. Then we’ll talk about it.”
Elliot didn’t utter another word. The call cut out and Keira felt her heart sink.
*
During breakfast, the now-familiar PA announcement was made. The ship would be docking at Stockholm harbor in approximately thirty minutes. Keira tried to take the conversation with Elliot in her stride, but it was playing on her mind more than she’d care to admit. A strange sense of foreboding had settled in her chest.
It took a lot of concentration to force the feelings to the back of her mind. The ship was docking in Sweden for three whole days, and after that she would be staying in a hotel for a further eight days. Now was the chance to really enjoy herself. The stop-start, stop-start of the assignment thus far had wreaked havoc with her routine, and the demands from Nina to include references to the cruise ship felt disingenuous. Everything was impacting on her writing. And that wasn’t even to mention the rocking motion of the boat, which made the physical act of writing more difficult. Having ten full days in one place would give her the time she needed to relax and settle, to get her head around the piece as a whole, and to hopefully add some more words that would satisfy Nina and Elliot’s demands without ruining her own emotional health in the process.
Keira looked through Heather’s itinerary. There was an hour-long guided tour of the Royal Palace, Kungliga Slottet, starting mid-morning, but the rest of the day was hers to do with as she wished. She looked through the guide that had been provided by the ship, jotting down some locations in her notebook that she wanted to see during the next ten days, including museums, architectural sights of interest, and, of course, a ton of restaurants. Thanks to the ship food and her so-called diet, Keira hadn’t sampled much in the way of Nordic cuisine. It didn’t seem right not to write about food, particularly when eating had been such a central feature in her last few articles.
She finished the last sips of her coffee and went up on deck to watch the boat dock at the harbor. She loved this view, this first experience of a new city and new country, from the deck of a ship, from the ocean. It w
as magical and thrilling, and far more exciting than just arriving at an airport. She felt like she got a much better feel for a place when approaching it from the ocean, and it certainly made the unique flavors of the city more obvious. The architecture of Sweden, for example, looked very different from Denmark and Finland. It was grander, more imposing, and there were fewer quaint, colorful brick buildings. It was a city that meant business.
Keira smiled to herself as it came into sharper focus. The air was incredibly cold, making her skin tingle, and, feeling very underdressed, she quickly headed down to her room to wrap up in some extra layers.
By the time she was done layering up, the boat had finished docking, and she hurried off to begin her adventure in Stockholm.
Once on solid ground, she checked her map to plot out a route to the palace, and realized that it was far too far away to walk. She’d have to take a taxi. It was a bit of an oversight on Heather’s part to arrange something so far from the harbor, and Keira was a little sad to have her favorite part of arriving in any city—the long, languid, aimless stroll through its streets—taken from her. Still, she hailed a cab and hopped in the back.
It was one of those rare occasions when Keira’s driver was not bilingual. He frowned at her when she attempted to ask for the Kungliga Slottet, and she had to show him on the map what she meant. Then he gave her just one sharp nod and set off quickly.
Keira settled into her seat, a little concerned that she may have trouble talking to the locals here if speaking English wasn’t as common as it was elsewhere in Europe. Language barriers had not been a problem for her so far, except for the elderly inn owner she’d met in Italy. Still, that had worked out pretty well so she wasn’t too worried. She could handle a bit of awkward communication, and she still had her trusty translation app from her last trip!