“Oh, Heath…” Tears clogged her throat and Meredith hoped he hadn’t heard it. She’d already boldly declared that she would protect him. She couldn’t very well be the one to be comforted after what she’d heard.
Heath’s hand curled into a fist within her own. He was shaking in his anger now and Meredith hadn’t a clue how to stop it. “I remember how angry I was in that moment. No sadness. That hadn’t come until much later. When I saw her, I could only think how angry I was that the servants had not done something to stop it, that they’d been too late. I was angry at myself for not staying put when she’d expressed her concern. Had I been there, perhaps she still would have been alive. Most of all, I was angry at the killer. I had never felt such hatred in my life and it still simmers within me to this day. Ever since that day, I vowed to find the killer and have my revenge.”
He looked at her then and Meredith held back her gasp. She could see the hatred as much as she could hear it in his voice. Though she knew it wasn’t directed at her, Meredith couldn’t help feeling a sliver of fear.
“I dedicated my time to the gang after that. I sought out their company more than ever, indulging in terrible acts as a way of acting on the anger before it consumed me. For some reason, it was comforting to surround myself with such people because it felt as if I belonged. And I had an ulterior motive. I knew that, sitting here in my manor and surrounding myself with the people of the ton would get me nowhere. It would not help me find the killer and that is my only goal in life.”
Meredith grappled with what she should say for a long while. He was done talking and so he only sat there, obviously thinking back on the past. She stared at his face, wishing desperately that she could take away the pain that hid underneath the anger.
Slowly, Meredith leaned over and pressed a soft kiss on his cheek. Heath looked sharply at her, frowning. Meredith smiled. “Do you want another?”
Without waiting for his response, she reached around him and pressed a kiss on his other cheek. When his silence continued, she kissed him on the tip of his nose, smiling.
“What are you doing?” he asked her finally.
Meredith met his eyes. “I knew words would not do anything to make you feel better,” she said gently. “I could tell you that I am here for you, but that would be redundant. I could tell you that you should let go of your anger so that you can be free from the pain but that would only hypocritical of me. In truth, I feel as if nothing I say will help to ease your pain.”
Heath’s eyes lightened a bit. “Kissing me like that will only make me have other thoughts, Meredith.”
She instantly blushed at his bold words, but she didn’t let him distract her. “You are afraid, aren’t you?”
“Of the person who killed my mother? Not in the slightest.”
Meredith shook her head. “No, of how I will react. You bared your soul to me, let me see into the darkness that is marring your heart. You are afraid of what I will say. You are afraid that I will run away from you.”
Heath didn’t look away from her. Meredith’s heart thudded at the openness in his gaze. She’d never seen so much of him at once and, despite it all, it was beautiful. It was raw and it was him and it was perfect. “I will not blame you,” he said. “I will understand if you no longer want to be near me. I have become a monster in the time you have not seen me. It would be perfectly natural for you to want to apart from me.”
She shook her head. “On the contrary, I have never been more in love with you.”
That also took him by surprise. “You have absolutely no qualms with admitting your feelings, do you?”
“Why should I? What better way of letting you know that I accept you by telling you how much I love you?” And because he still didn’t seem to know what to do with her words, she leaned close to him, smiling broadly. “I love you, Heath Fillion. And you had better accept it because now you are stuck with me. I will not be going anywhere.”
“Well, I seem to be out of plans for the evening then.”
She laughed as she slapped him playfully on the arm. “Keep that up and you might just regret it.”
Heath returned her grin. She was happy to see that he was back, that the shadows had retreated. “Very well, then. I shall refrain from upsetting you. I cannot very well let you leave my side when I’ve just managed to get you back.”
He took her tenderly by the chin, tipping her lips up to his. Meredith closed her eyes as she awaited the comfortable feel of him. The kiss was chaste, lasting only a second. But the usual effect had her flaring with heat.
Heath leaned away from her, his eyes opening a few seconds after hers, as if he was savoring the taste of her. Meredith smiled sappily at the sight. When he caught her look, he returned it.
“So,” he said. “I have decided to neglect my duties to spend time with you. So, what shall we do?”
Meredith thought about it for a moment. “Sitting down for tea would be nice.”
“Then tea we shall have, my fair lady.” They rose together made their way to the door. When they were in the hallway and en route to the gardens, Heath asked, “Did you like the message I left with you?”
Meredith’s heart jumped. She looked sharply at him, eyes wide. “Message?”
Heath’s smile slipped from his face as he took in her expression. She quickly looked away, trying to pretend nothing was amiss, but she knew she’d already raised his suspicions. Meredith cursed herself for how high-strung she was being.
“Do you not remember?” he asked with a frown. “I told you that I could not sleep a wink last night.”
“Of course, I remember,” she said, feigning nonchalance. “How could I not when you made it so cryptic on purpose.”
“I seemed to have startled you just now.”
She could feel his eyes boring into the side of her face. Meredith hoped he wouldn’t pester her about it. If he did, she might end up telling him about the letter she’d received right after he left the drawing room.
She hung her head, pretending to be bashful. “If I know you well, it is likely your words were meant to be make me flustered.”
“I seem to have succeeded.”
Meredith peeked up at him, noticing that the suspicious was gone from his voice. She breathed a silent breath of relief. It seemed she had avoided the questions for now.
Pushing the thought aside, Meredith lifted her nose into the air. “Well, will you tell me what you meant then?”
“How could I sleep, Meredith, when I had you resting in my arms, our limbs tangled within each other. I am not as strong a man as you might think.”
Meredith came a to halt, Heath continuing along without her. She watched him go, her cheeks growing unbearably hot. Heath looked over his shoulder at her with a grin, but he didn’t stop. Trying to bring herself together, Meredith rushed after him.
Goodness, she thought in alarm. I am desperately in love with him, aren’t I?
The thought brought a smile to her face as she returned to his side, right where she belonged.
Chapter 24
“You called, Your Grace?”
Heath looked up at Francis in surprise. “Francis, when did you come in?”
Francis blinked a few times, as if he didn’t know what to do with himself. “I knocked several times, Your Grace, but I received no answer. Since you called for me, I thought it would not be inappropriate if I walked in. Forgive me for my insolence.”
Heath waved his hand dismissively as Francis bowed deeply. It hit him that he had been too focused on his thoughts that he hadn’t heard when Francis knocked, let alone come all the way up to his desk. Heath rose to his feet, rounding the desk and leaned against the edge as he looked seriously at his butler.
“Since I have asked for your advice before,” Heath began, crossing his arms. “I feel no shame in doing so again.”
“I will do my best to give you the best advice, Your Grace,” Francis said dutifully.
“It is about Lady Meredith,” Heath conf
essed. He’d been thinking about her ever since they’d parted ways in the garden. They’d spent nearly the entire day there, reminiscing about the past and talking idly about the future. He’d been so caught up in her presence that he hadn’t given much thought to her odd reaction to his question after they’d left the art room. The way she had jumped when he’d mentioned what he’d said to her. It had nagged at him then and it still nagged at him now, as he waited for dinnertime to arrive.
“She is acting quite odd,” Heath stated. “I wonder if perhaps she is not yet as comfortable with me as she claims she is. I had asked her a question before and she seemed so surprised that she nearly jumped right out of her skin.”
“That may be the case, Your Grace,” Francis said and Heath nodded grimly, not at all pleased to hear that. Perhaps he had treated her trauma too lightly. Perhaps he had assumed that she was fine now that she was talking and smiling much more than she had been before. “Though,” Francis went on, drawing his attention. “It may also be that she had not expected you to say that.”
Heath cocked his head to the side, his confusion deepening. It was unusual being like this, so baffled by the actions of a lady when he’d never cared before. But then, Meredith had always been special. “What do you mean?”
Francis didn’t move an inch as he spoke, his chin constantly cocked. “Perhaps she had thought you were referring to something else.”
“What else could I have been referring to?” Heath asked, more to himself that to Francis. He said nothing else, thinking hard on the conversation they’d had before he’d left the drawing room this morning. As far as he could recall, things had been quite normal before he’d left her with those words.
“May I ask what time of day this was, Your Grace?” Francis spoke up.
Heath looked warily at him. “What reason would you have to ask such a thing?”
“I only wonder if this might have something to do with the letter Lady Meredith received this morning.”
Heath stood up straight, frowning. “Letter?”
Francis lifted his eyes to meet Heath’s, uncertainty flickering within them. “Forgive me, Your Grace. I had expected her to inform you of it, but when I think back on how surprised she was, I cannot help but wonder if that might have been the reason for her reaction to your question.”
“Out with it. What letter did she receive?”
“I do not know, You Grace. It bore no seal, nor an address. It merely had her name on the front.”
“And you thought nothing of it before you handed it over to her?” Heath barked.
Francis lowered his head. “I was not thinking. Forgive me, Your Grace.”
Heath sighed, shaking his head. The anger came and went easily, but his sudden agitation would stay for a while, he knew. He rested a hand on Francis’ shoulder, knowing very well that the butler would not dare to withhold a letter. It would make no sense to take out his anxiousness on him when he had only been doing his duties to the best of his abilities.
“Think nothing of it,” Heath said, sagging back onto the desk. “But I don’t suppose you know of the letter’s contents? Or perhaps how she looked when she read it?”
Francis shook his head. “I do not. I left right after I delivered it.”
“Very well. Thank you, Francis.”
“It is my pleasure, Your Grace.” Francis bowed and left the room in a matter of seconds, leaving Heath to ponder what he’d just said.
Meredith received a letter and she didn’t tell me about it? What could it have said?
No one should know that she was here. But then, he didn’t have quite a good eye on her as he liked to make it seem. It was likely she’d gotten a letter out to someone without him noticing. If that was the case, was she desperate to leave here? Or had it been when tension and distance had been sitting between them?
The thought didn’t sit well with him. Francis had said she’d seemed surprised to receive it. If she had truly reached out to anyone while here, she would not be surprised to receive a response. Perhaps excited, or lamenting. But not surprised.
Then why is she hiding it from me?
Heath left his study, not exactly sure where he was going. He contemplated looking for Meredith and have her explain everything, but his steps took him elsewhere. He didn’t want to accuse her of anything, not knowing how well he would be able to handle it. So, it would be better for him to find this letter himself, if she had not already discarded it.
Heath made his way to her bedchamber without happening upon her. Idly, he wondered where she was and what she was doing but he was grateful that no one was around when he slipped in and closed the door behind him. The instant he was inside, he remembered what they’d done in the center of the room. The self-control he’d exhibited then had been noteworthy and the memory even managed to bring a slight smile to his face even as trepidation coursed through him.
If she wanted to hide a letter, where would she put it?
Heath knew Meredith and so the answer jumped out at him the moment he asked himself the question. She was as simple as they came, preferring to jump at things rather than thinking them through. It came with being so adventurous, but even as he made his way over to the bed where he was certain she would hide it, he wondered if he might be wrong. After all, Meredith was not completely the same person as he’d known her to be.
A smile stretched across his lips when Heath lifted her pillow and founded a sheet of paper folded into a small square sitting underneath. He picked it up and unfolded it, shaking his head at how easily he’d been able to find it. His smile fell the moment he read what was written there.
Heath’s heart fell to the bottom of his stomach. First came his confusion, then his disbelief. Then a wave of earth-shattering fear that nearly crippled his knees. He’d never felt terror like this before, but was comforted by the familiar anger that washed over him at these words. That same anger that had driven him to pummel the man who had dared to hurt Meredith.
It was clear that whoever had sent this had the same intention. Heath crumpled the letter in his hand, stalking towards the door. The moment he left the room, he spotted Meredith approaching.
She was talking with her maid, both of them smiling. The maid, Annalise if he recalled correctly, tilted her head back and laughed loudly at something Meredith said, which made Meredith giggle. Heath was so pleased by the sight that he almost forgot about the letter in his hand.
“Your Grace!” Annalise exclaimed when she spotted him. She quickly curtsied, a sloppy attempt at best.
“Leave us for a bit,” Heath told her gently, keeping his eyes on Meredith. She frowned slightly at his tone but said nothing.
“Yes, Your Grace.” Keeping her head bowed, Annalise scurried off, leaving him alone with Meredith.
Meredith stepped closer to him, her frown deepening. “Is something the matter?”
“We should speak in private.” Without waiting for a response, he went back into her bedchamber, leaving the door open for her to follow suit. She did so silently, closing the door behind her before facing him again with that same look of confusion on her face.
Heath held up the crumpled letter, watching carefully for her reaction. Meredith’s eyes widened and she looked from the letter to him, then back to the letter. “How did you find that?” she asked.
Heath laughed, though he couldn’t hear it past the roaring in his ears. “You were never very good at hiding things. You have too impatient of a nature.”
She swallowed. “I was not going to show it to you,” she said boldly, and his brows lifted in surprise. “I thought it would best if I just forgot it existed.”
“And so, you thought to leave it under your pillow?” he asked her.
She flushed. “Very well, perhaps I should not say those words exactly. But I knew it would only worry you if I told you about it. Especially since we do not know who sent it or what their true intention is.”
“Based on what was said, their true intention cannot be a
nything good.”
Meredith sighed, nodding. She was calm, if a bit worried. Whereas Heath was struggling to keep himself together. He didn’t want to make her upset, didn’t want to frighten her by showing just how much the letter bothered him. But the feeling only grew, the need to protect her overwhelming him.
Meredith caught the look on his face before he could wipe it away and she crossed over to him in an instant, taking his hand. “Please do not worry, Heath.”
“I’m not.” Because he needed something to steady him, to ground him, he let his hands rest on her hips, letting out a shaky breath. “It is likely that whoever sent this letter is only trying to scare you. Perhaps it is nothing we need to take seriously.”
Captive to the Kiss of a Wicked Duke: A Steamy Historical Regency Romance Novel Page 19
