Crimson Magic Clan, Let’s & Go!!

by Natsume Akatsuki

  “You rat, Megumin! How can you be so detached all the time?!” Yunyun turned to me with tears in her eyes, her face flushed. “L-look, I… I’m sorry about that weird stuff I said. I mean, you’re the only guy I know, and…”

  “Y-yeah, sure. It’s fine. The important thing is what we do next. Your home’s in trouble, right?”

  Yunyun wiped away her tears. “Yes. I plan to go back to Crimson Magic Village. After all, my…f-f… My f-f-friends…are…there…”

  She could barely get the word friends out of her mouth. Maybe it wasn’t the right one.

  “Anyway, I’m sorry for the trouble, everyone. And Megumin, I’ll…see you later, I guess.”

  And then she walked out the door, shoulders slumped. We watched her leave.

  “…Kazuma, are you really just going to let her leave like that?” Darkness asked. “You were so hot and bothered and obsessed with showing off that I was sure you would say you’d go with her or something.”

  “They’re under attack by the Demon King. If I went with her, I’d only get in the way. Plus, it’s dangerous and scary, and we just got back from a trip, and it sounds like a pain to go on another one. But…I guess if Megumin is really worried about her, I’ll have to try to help.”

  “Th-this from the man who normally cannot say enough about all the generals of the Demon King’s army he’s defeated! Anyway, why should I be worried about Yunyun? She is my rival, remember? Practically my enemy.”

  Megumin pointedly kept her back turned to us. Darkness and I smirked at her. We started whispering.

  “Hey, for someone who hates her enemy so much, doesn’t she seem pretty fidgety?”

  “Quiet, Kazuma, Megumin knows herself. Maybe you should try to convince her…”

  We finally earned a glare from Megumin.

  “Hey, Aqua,” I said, turning to her, “why don’t you say…something…?”

  “Zzzzzzzz…”

  Aqua was on the couch, fast asleep.

  I guess maybe all of this was too hard for her to follow.

  …Eventually, Megumin went up to her bedroom, still sulking. Left in the living room, Darkness turned to me.

  “Seriously though, Kazuma, are we just going to leave her? This girl Yunyun, isn’t she Megumin’s friend? I’ve heard she’s strong, but…”

  “Don’t worry about it. She’s a legitimate Crimson Magic Clan member. She can use advanced magic and everything. To be honest, she’s probably safer by herself than with us bumbling along with her. Remember, our party includes an undead magnet, among other things.” I shot a glance at Aqua, who was curled up on the couch with a trail of drool coming from her mouth.

  Anyway, Megumin might be acting stubborn now, but it was only a matter of time…

  —That night.

  I had finished dinner and was lounging in my room when a hesitant knock came at my door.

  “Come in!”

  The person who entered in response to my invitation was, of course…

  “…Kazuma. I would like to talk to you. Do you have a moment?”

  Megumin stood there in her pajamas, working her mouth like she wanted to say something.

  “Awfully late for a chat. You sure you didn’t get all fired up fighting about Yunyun and come here to make up…physically?”

  “I-I’ll clock you for that! Ever since I turned fourteen, the sexual harassment has been nonstop with you!”

  Megumin was red and sputtering. I sat cross-legged on my bed, waiting. I mean, I had a pretty good idea of what she was going to say…

  Megumin cleared her throat. “I— Ahem. I couldn’t care less about Yunyun. But in fact, I have a younger sister…”

  I didn’t say anything.

  “And so, while I really do not care even a little bit about Yunyun, I am very concerned about my sis— What are you smirking at?!”

  Megumin’s bald-faced attempt to pretend she didn’t care about her friend had brought the thinnest of smiles to my face.

  3

  The next morning, I was showing everyone a map of the area around Crimson Magic Village that I’d gotten at the Adventurers Guild.

  “So that’s the story. This hot-cold type said she wants to go home, so I’m thinking about a little excursion to the Crimson Magic Clan’s town.”

  “Who are you calling hot-cold?! I told you, my sister…!”

  I put a hand on Megumin’s forehead to hold her at bay and kept talking.

  “Word is that the village is currently engaged with the Demon King’s forces. So here’s the plan: we scope out the place from a distance, and if it looks as dangerous as the letter said, we go straight home. If we run into anything that even looks like the Demon King’s army on the way there, we go straight home. Also, we do everything possible to avoid any battles with monsters. Sound good?”

  “Another one of your delightfully pessimistic plans, Kazuma!” Aqua said. “Well, fine. We may have just gotten back from a different trip, but I’m willing to go save Megumin’s hometown!” She clenched her fist in anticipation. Our recent string of victories over officers of the Demon King seemed to have given her an uncharacteristic confidence.

  “Crimson Magic Village? That place is a paradise just bursting with powerful monsters. And it’s under assault by the forces of the Demon King…! Ahh! What shall I do on the day when their numbers overwhelm me and I am captured? Listen, Kazuma, when that happens, forget about me! Think only of yourself!”

  “Don’t worry; I’ll be more than happy to leave you behind. Don’t follow us home, okay?” I shot down Darkness as her mind wandered off on another tangent. The three of us collected our luggage—we hadn’t even unpacked from last time—and left the house.

  Normally, we would have just headed for the carriage station, but I had a little plan in mind for this trip.

  “Hey, Kazuma, where the heck are we going? Weren’t we supposed to follow that Yunyun girl back to her village?”

  “Yunyun left on a carriage just after noon yesterday. We’d never catch up. And I’m sick of carriage rides anyway. There’s somewhere else I want to go.”

  Even as I answered Aqua, the little shop that was my destination came into view.

  “…Erk. This is where you wanted to go? As… As a follower of Our Lady Eris, I’d rather avoid this place… I mean, it’s…”

  “Hello, hello, hello! Young man whose business experience sadly does not contribute to his level and young woman whose only worth lately has been the power of her family’s name! And if it isn’t our thug-slash-priest with her insufferable corona of light and the gimmicky clan member who knows only gimmick magic! You could not have come at a better time.”

  “…where this guy works!”

  “Gimmicky clan member?!”

  Darkness and Megumin took turns sounding put out as the employee wearing an uncanny mask greeted them from the corner of the store where he was cleaning. I had come here because I wanted to finish the business negotiations we had been putting off, and because there was something I wanted from Wiz…

  Vanir swept around behind me, ushering me into the store. He crinkled his brow but otherwise ignored the flurry of quick little jabs courtesy of Aqua. I didn’t see Wiz anywhere. But I did hear a quiet sniffling from somewhere inside…

  Her unsettling employee kept pushing me along.

  “What do you mean? Have you got something weird in stock again? Let’s be clear: I’m not here to buy anything.”

  “Now, now, don’t say that. I know some of my wares have been less than satisfactory, but even I have my moments. I have something I’m sure you’ll be very interested in.” Now that he had us inside, Vanir held out a small box with the lid open.

  “…? What’s this?”

  “A magical item that repels the undead. Just open the lid, and a divine aura will keep them at bay for at least twelve hours. I recall you are accompanied by a most unusual someone of whom the undead are especially fond. In fact, I believe it made your life rather difficult on your recent
excursion. If you had one of these, you could sleep in your bed or in the fields or anywhere with complete peace of mind!”

  “Hang on, ‘most unusual’? You’re not talking about me, are you?”

  Undead repellent, huh? I had to admit it sounded useful on the surface…

  “And what’s the catch? Don’t pretend there isn’t one.”

  “Oh, but there isn’t. I suppose—well, the price might be considered a little high for a consumable, but that’s it. It’s very effective! I just keep this lid open, and our fog-brained shop owner can’t come out of the back room. She’s been in there crying all day—it’s that good!”

  “You mean that’s Wiz I’ve been hearing this whole time? Put that thing away! Why did she even order something like that? …Tell you what, though, it does sound like it would be good to have around. Give me one. I’ll be needing it right away.” I pulled out my wallet, thinking about the camping we’d likely have to do.

  “Always a pleasure doing business! One undead repellent. That will be one million eris!”

  “That’s highway robbery! At that price, I should just fight the damn zombies!”

  Vanir ignored me, assiduously putting a new box into a bag for us.

  “Why worry, my honored customer? After all, you’re going to be a rich man soon! I’ll buy the intellectual property rights to all your inventions thus far for three hundred million eris! Does this agreement look acceptable to you?” He pulled out a contract as he spoke.

  “Three hundred million eris…! If he got that kind of money, he’d never work again! He’d become a worthless lump! But then again, even that might not be so bad…” Beside me, Darkness looked worried. I’m sure I had no idea what she was muttering about.

  On either side of me, Aqua and Megumin were tugging on my sleeves, wearing ingratiating smiles.

  “Kazuma! My dear Kazuma. I dream of having a pool in our house…”

  “I want to get an MP Purifier Machine. It is supposed to aid in the recovery of Magic Points.”

  “Oof, nothing like a whiff of money to bring out the gold diggers. Pools and magic purifiers sound really expensive, and I’m not rich yet. For now, go see if you can find any items we might need for this trip.”

  At my urging, the two of them happily began rooting through the shop’s item collection.

  For my part, I decided to take the lump sum for the rights to my intellectual property. With my propensity for getting caught up in risky goings-on, I figured it was best to take the money and run while I had the chance. In a single year, there had been two separate incidents in this town—a high-ranking Demon King general and a mobile fortress. You couldn’t be too careful.

  “Okay, just take the cost of that undead repellent thing out of my three hundred mil. I’m assuming I won’t be able to get the money right away?”

  “Sadly, no. The woebegone working-Lich weeping in the back room had to go and order these ridiculous things—that means outlay is in short supply. To put it bluntly, we have no money. Oh, don’t make that face. I will have plenty of capital next week—I’ve invited investors to come to town.”

  Next week, huh? Starting next week, I would be the town’s richest man!

  “Oh, now that you mention it, I wanted to talk to Wiz. Could you go get her?”

  With a hangdog expression, Vanir closed the lid of the box that had been releasing a white mist into the air. He opened a window to clear out the place, and finally Wiz emerged from the back room. She smiled and welcomed us. Until just recently, the exertions of our trip to Arcanletia had left her with one foot in the next life, but now she looked back to her normal, deathly pale self.

  “Hey, Wiz, feeling better? Sorry to keep bothering you. We’re not really here to shop today—I’ve got a favor to ask you.”

  “…? A favor? Me?”

  I nodded. I told her what was going on in Megumin’s village and explained exactly what I wanted.

  “I see,” she said at length. “So you just need me to Teleport everyone to Arcanletia?”

  To reach Crimson Magic Village, first we would have to go through Arcanletia. And this Lich, who for an undead was awfully fond of baths, had fallen in love with the city on our trip and set it as one of the destinations of her Teleport spell.

  While Wiz and I were talking, everyone else had been looking over her stock.

  “H-hey, Vanir. What’s this ‘monster-attractant potion’? If you were to, you know, smear this all over your body, what would happen?”

  “That potion is intended to be administered orally. When you drink it, I guarantee not only monsters but townspeople, relatives, even your own friends will attack you out of a sudden hatred. I should think it would be very much suited to your—ahem—preferences. You’ll take one?”

  “…Even my family and friends will hate me…? Hrm. I can’t have them hating me forever, but depending on the duration of the effect, maybe…”

  “…Oh-ho. This says here that these potions temporarily strengthen the effect of a specific magic spell. Do you have any that make Explosion more potent?”

  “Mm. The only booster potions we have in stock at the moment are for binding magic and swamp magic. The Bind booster potion increases the spell’s area of effect, so you become as paralyzed as your enemy. The swamp booster likewise makes the effect larger, so the caster is among those who drown.”

  “Well, that will not do.” Megumin turned her attention to another product. “What is this strangely lifelike doll?”

  “That’s a Vanir doll. A fine piece of work that contains a shard of my own mask to scare away evil spirits. It’s currently the only product that’s actually selling. Granted, it cackles in the middle of the night, but it certainly does its job. What about you lot? There are no evil spirits in your house, but you do have a spectral resident. Want to try one?”

  “It cackles at night?” Megumin said. “And this is supposed to assure you that there aren’t evil spirits around? Anyway, Aqua would never sit by if there was a ghost in our house.”

  “Megumin, didn’t you believe what I said? I told you—the ghost of a little noblegirl lives in that mansion! I haven’t cleared her out yet because I felt bad for her. I’m just letting her enjoy herself!”

  “Oh yes. I remember. This is the ‘ghost’ who drinks all your wine?”

  “You, too, Darkness? Aww, please believe me!”

  Geez, what a noisy bunch…

  As I tried to tune out what was going on behind me, Wiz had a dreamy look on her face.

  “You know, I visited Crimson Magic Village for some acquisitions once. I went to call on a very famous magical-item merchant named Hyoizaburou, but unfortunately, he wasn’t in…”

  Almost instantaneously, Megumin appeared at my side with a little yelp of shock.

  “E-excuse me, but did you say ‘Hyoizaburou’? Th-that is, how long ago did you go to the village?”

  “That would have been…about two years ago, I guess? Oh yeah—when I went to his house, a pretty girl answered the door. She looked a lot like you, Miss Megumin…”

  At that, Megumin grabbed her head and curled up into a ball.

  “What’s the deal?” I asked. “Something wrong?”

  “N-no… My rash decision seems to have cost him his business…”

  As I was trying to fathom what Megumin was talking about, sounds of a struggle came from behind me.

  “Don’t touch my products, you menace! If you lay a finger on my potions, they’ll turn to water!”

  “That’s some way to talk! I thought customers were supposed to be treated like deities! Speaking as an actual goddess, I should know! So how about a little less sass and a little more groveling?”

  “You’re a pathetic deity and a terrible customer! How dare you give me lip when you go around making my stock worthless! Hey, Wiz! I heard what you were saying. Hurry up and teleport these troublemakers before they do any more damage!”

  Wiz gave a helpless smile at Vanir’s tirade and began preparing h
er spell.

  “Hey, kid.” Vanir leaned in toward me as I watched Wiz work. “Let the all-seeing demon give you a word of advice—my way of thanking you for a pricey purchase.” He took a breath. “Once you reach your destination, a time will come when one of your companions will confide in you about some confusion. What you say may change the path that person takes in life. Think carefully and be sure the advice you offer will leave no regrets.”

  Gosh, that sounds awfully important. Even if his “advice” is terribly suspicious.

  I ended Aqua’s endless stream of complaints, and the four of us gathered in one spot.

  “All right then, everyone,” Wiz said. “I wish you a safe journey! Teleport!”

  4

  I found myself squeezing my eyes shut as Wiz cast her spell. When I opened them again, Arcanletia, “the city of water and hot springs,” was there in front of us. I hadn’t expected to ever come back here—let alone almost immediately after we’d left.

  “Hey, Kazuma! Kazuma, hey!”

  “Oh no. We’re not staying here a minute longer than we have to. I don’t want anything to do with your followers.”

  “Aww, what is your problem?”

  We decided to stick around long enough to try to get some information from Yunyun, as well as to placate Aqua, who, perhaps naturally, was eager to stay a night.

  Yunyun had left the previous day. She must have gone by carriage, but even so, the distance from Axel to Arcanletia couldn’t be covered in a day, even if you departed early in the morning. My guess was that Wiz’s Teleport had gotten us here ahead of her.

  …But when I suggested we wait and meet up with her, Megumin gave me a dour look.

  “Kazuma, I am not going home out of concern for Yunyun. I am worried about my sister, as I told you. So I think we should move on immediately. Knowing Yunyun, she will have no trouble catching up to us.”