Crimson Magic Clan, Let’s & Go!!

by Natsume Akatsuki

  5

  “This is one awesome lady! Arrows, magic spells—they just bounced off her!”

  That evening…

  We were back at Megumin’s house, where we planned to spend another night. Dinner was over, and everyone was singing Darkness’s praises for her work that day.

  “A-aww, it was… Any Crusader could have…” Darkness was not used to this kind of adulation. She was sitting stiffly in a formal posture in the living room, accepting Komekko’s comments with a show of intense embarrassment.

  “We heard all about what you did, Miss Darkness—how you stopped Sylvia from getting into the village. What a brave and stalwart party! It gives us that much more confidence in entrusting our daughter to our dear Kazuma. Speaking of which, about the room assignments for tonight…”

  Yuiyui sidled up to me as she spoke. But something was bothering me.

  “Um, where’s Mr. Hyoizaburou?”

  “Oh, hubby said he had lots of work to do, so he was going to sleep in his workshop,” she said easily. “Now I’ll go get the bath ready.” And then, in a flash, she was gone.

  The way I remembered it, at dinner Hyoizaburou had said, “I’m worried about our daughter. I’ll sleep with our guest Kazuma tonight.”

  …Was Mom at it again?

  “In any event,” Megumin said, “that little speech you gave was pretty cool, Kazuma. Next time we really will settle the score with Sylvia!”

  “Yeah,” Darkness said. “Actually, I visited the smith today—he’s pretty talented—and I asked him to make me a new type of armor that he said is in vogue right now. It should be ready in a few days. Ooh. I’m looking forward to my armor and our battle with Sylvia…!” Both girls had their fists clenched.

  To which I bluntly replied, “Don’t be dumb. We’re going home tomorrow, remember? We’ve seen all the sights and everything—there’s absolutely nothing left for us in this village. Let’s take off first thing in the morning. I can’t wait to lounge around the house.”

  ““Whaaaat?!””

  Both Megumin and Darkness seemed surprised by this. Aqua, who was drinking wine and popping peas into her mouth, said, “After all that badass talk, you’re just gonna run away? After she specifically said you would meet again?”

  “Look, I admit I’m a little loathe to leave behind such a hot general, but we need to think of our personal safety here. A nice, cushy NEET lifestyle is waiting for us at home. Why would we go out of our way to stay here and tangle with a general of the Demon King?”

  “Why— Why, you! You mean all that cool talk was only posturing?!”

  “You had such a dramatic exit—and you’re just going to go home?! That’s ridiculous, even for you!”

  “Are you kidding?” I said to them. “I took a stab at acting cool exactly because I knew we were going home tomorrow. I knew we wouldn’t see her again. Why the hell else would I antagonize a general of the Demon King like that? I was in this nice, safe village with a whole squad of Crimson Magic people at my back. How else could I have done that?”

  “This man is the worst! He is irredeemable!”

  “You! Can you live with yourself as a human being?!”

  Megumin and Darkness flung insults at me, but I just blocked my ears and ignored them.

  “Everyone, the bath is ready,” Yuiyui said, coming back in. “Oh… What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing’s wrong,” I said. “Hey, I call first bath.”

  “Hey! Don’t you dare try to run!”

  “This isn’t over!”

  The girls continued their abuse as I hightailed it to the tub.

  When I got back to the living room after my bath, feeling refreshed, Aqua was making her way to her assigned room, looking almost as invigorated as I felt.

  “Huh? Why do you look like you just got out of the bath?”

  “I went to the one outside. They told me there was a bath right nearby—the one with the big sign that says Mixed Bath.”

  Wait a second, I hadn’t heard about anything like that. And here we were going home tomorrow! What should I do? I was just wondering if I should delay our departure for another day, when…

  “Megumin, where do you think you’re going at this hour?! I won’t allow a girl of your age to stay out all night! And you just came back this morning!”

  “This house is the most dangerous place in the village for a girl my age! And anyway, you’re just going to try to make me sleep with Kazuma again, aren’t you?”

  “Oh, Kazuma is a good match. Trust your mother. He’ll be everything we hope for…”

  “How blind must you be?! Wait. You do know what he’s like, and you still— Oh, he’ll be everything you hope for, won’t he!”

  I heard the dulcet tones of Megumin and her mother shouting at each other in the doorway.

  “I don’t know what’s going on with them,” Aqua said, “but I’m heading to bed. Seems like Darkness conked out after she got back from the bath, too.” She gave a tired little yawn—maybe the wine had gotten to her—and retreated to her room.

  I looked and saw Darkness, who had indeed fallen asleep in a somewhat unnatural position. This was definitely Yuiyui’s work…

  “This discussion is over! I’m going to Yunyun’s house!”

  “You’ll never walk out that door! Ankle Snare!”

  “Wh-what?! You would use magic on your own daughter?! And you call yourself my moth—”

  “Sleep!”

  A dull thud accompanied her voice. Yuiyui turned to me, all smiles.

  “I’m very sorry, Kazuma, but my daughter seems to have fallen asleep in a most unusual place… Do you think you could help me carry her to her room?”

  6

  Oh man, what am I gonna do?

  Seriously, this was getting out of hand. Next to me, Megumin was breathing evenly.

  “Hey, Megumin. You’re just pretending to sleep, right? I know you’re awake.”

  There was no answer. Not that I expected any.

  After everything that had happened the night before, I thought—maybe I should just go with it. I’d always been the kind of guy to just let circumstances sweep me along. I was already here; maybe I should just keep going.

  I thought back to the time at our camp when Megumin had held my hand. As I listened to her breathe deeply in sleep, I gently took her hand under the covers. It felt cool and pleasant.

  …I stopped and thought. If I went any further now, I would just be a common criminal. What I needed was a legitimate excuse for snuggling up to Megumin under the covers.

  …A light bulb went on in my head.

  The night before, when Megumin had woken up, I had explained that I was in the bed because it was cold. Well, I just needed to make it more than an excuse. I needed to bring the room to a temperature that would be unbearable outside our blanket. And I knew just how to do it.

  Yes. Although I hadn’t known it at the time, it was probably for this very moment that I had acquired this power. Still holding on to Megumin with my right hand, I popped my head and my left hand out from between the sheets and chanted some magic at the room’s window.

  “Freeze!”

  I put my whole heart, and most of my MP, into the spell. It easily froze the surface of the window, creating a sheet of ice several inches thick. The temperature in the room immediately took a nosedive.

  Yes! Perfect!

  With the window frozen shut, Megumin couldn’t escape through it like she had the night before. My plan was flawless. Sometimes I impressed even myself.

  As I lay there, silently elated—

  “…Hmm…?” Megumin stirred, maybe disturbed by the noise of my incantation.

  “Morning. Did you sleep well?”

  “…Good morning. Huh? Is this my room?” Her hand still in mine, Megumin looked around, still half-asleep.

  Then she realized we were holding hands.

  “—!! You’ve finally done it! You finally crossed the uncrossable line! Animal! Kazuma, you beast! I
always thought you were a milquetoast who, though you might dabble in light sexual harassment, would never cross that final line even if you wanted to—but I see now!”

  She practically flew out of the bed, ranting at me with tears forming in her eyes.

  “Now, just a minute! I haven’t done anything! Don’t you think you’re making a big deal over a little hand-holding? Look around—it’s even colder than it was last night! I must have instinctively taken your hand so I wouldn’t freeze to death!”

  It was only then that Megumin seemed to notice how chilly it was in the room and started shivering. Then, after a cursory investigation of her own body, her face turned red.

  “T-truly? That is, given what happened yesterday, I can’t say I’m quick to believe you.”

  “Idiot. You know how long it’s been since your mom dropped you with that Sleep spell? And I’ve completely behaved myself the entire time.”

  “H-have you really? I apologize, Kazuma, this was my misunderstanding. I should have realized. If you had the nerve to cross that line, you would have been all over Darkness long ago, as we have had so many party betting pools on… I’m sorry. It was rude of me to judge you like that.” She was wreathed in a moonlight halo as she apologized.

  “It— It’s fine. But you know, you could do with thanking me one of these days. I mean, how often have I saved your skins even though it always just gets me in trouble?”

  I was going to continue, So this is the least you can do. But when I looked at Megumin’s face in the light of the moon, somehow the words wouldn’t quite come out.

  “…Thanking you? Yes, I suppose so.”

  Normally, when Megumin looked at me, it was with anger, or annoyance, or even pity. But right now, she wore an expression I rarely saw from her: the genuine smile of a fourteen-year-old girl.

  H-huh?

  Confronted with that smile, I suddenly felt an anxious twisting in my stomach.

  “…Thank you for taking in a wizard who could only use Explosion and had nowhere to go in Axel Town back then. Thank you for always carrying me home when I use up all my magic and can’t move. Thank you for letting me stay with the party, no matter how much trouble I cause.”

  Megumin was usually so prickly and confrontational. But suddenly she was pouring her heart out to me. Her skin, pale against her black hair, had flushed just a little red. Her crimson eyes—the source of her clan’s name—shimmered, giving her a real air of the magical.

  Seeing me flounder, she teased, “What’s wrong? I just thanked you. You asked me to—and now you’re getting all embarrassed?”

  I was wondering the same thing. I actually found myself feeling extremely awkward. After the way she normally treated me, for her to suddenly offer such gratitude like this—well, I wasn’t quite sure how to take it.

  Despite my internal confusion, I said, “…Y-yeah, you’re right. Y-you know, I—I mean, we give each other a lot of grief, but you guys help me out an awful lot, too. To put it in Crimson Magic speak, I guess… My name is Kazuma Satou. First among the weakest class in Axel and always getting in trouble. And one who will soon have a bunch of money, and then plans to live a fun and weird life with you guys… S-so…I hope you’ll hang in there with me.”

  Megumin giggled at the way I started to get embarrassed about halfway through, but she said, “And I hope you’ll stick with us… Incidentally, it really is exceptionally cold tonight. Well, I guess the wind does come in through the cracks in an old house like this. You… You really won’t do anything, will you? It’s cold, and I’d like to get back in bed.” Still a little red, Megumin nestled under the covers.

  What with the feeling in the air, this gave me a fresh bout of anxiety. Well, it is awfully cold. Guess there’s nothing else to—

  …That was when I remembered the iced-over window.

  How would I explain it if she noticed? I had suddenly and finally managed to raise my stock around here. If she saw that window, it would tumble right back down. What the hell was wrong with me? Why had I done something so impetuous and stupid? I’d gotten a little desperate.

  As I lay there worrying about all this, Megumin cuddled right up to me. Much closer than when she’d just been lying there before.

  “…M-Megumin, y-you’re kind of in my personal space…”

  Now I was anxious for a totally different reason than before, but Megumin said, “You’re always more than happy to sexually harass me, but I snuggle up to you and you get a yellow belly? Anyway, you already said you wouldn’t do anything, right? So what’s the problem?”

  Of course. No problem.

  No problem at all.

  But after that conversation, right when she seemed to trust me so much—if she saw the frozen window after all that, I had a feeling it was going to earn me more than a little name-calling.

  While I was still thinking about this, I felt something chilly around my right hand. This time it was Megumin who had taken my hand in hers.

  “…H-hey. Should a girl your age really be, you know—so aggressive? It’s just like back at our camp. You suddenly do something like that, and my heart starts pounding… You know, I heard Darkness saying to your parents yesterday that putting you in a room with me was like putting a little lamb in a cage with a starving animal.” I found myself sweating despite the freezing temperature. My voice had jumped an octave with nervousness.

  Megumin exhaled. “Darkness said that? But she told me that you were a timid little rabbit who would just try to joke his way out of any situation when the opportunity really came up.”

  That bitch!

  “Hey,” I said, “what do you and Darkness usually talk about when you’re together? I promise I won’t get angry.” Megumin appeared a little bit ill at ease, then pointedly looked away from me. “…Come on. I know it’s got to be all no-good stuff.”

  “That’s between us. A-anyway, let’s get to sleep. We’re going back to Axel tomorrow, right? We should get home early so we can take it easy.”

  Look at her trying to weasel out of this.

  …Then Megumin, who had been so happy to burrow under the covers, said with a touch of embarrassment, “…I need to use the toilet,” and climbed back out of bed.

  …Hang on.

  “Your mom magically locked us in again tonight, so—”

  —we can’t get to the bathroom, I was about to say, but Megumin gave a tired smile.

  And then…

  “That mother of mine. Oh well. I’ll just go out the window agai—”

  …she looked at the window and stiffened.

  I covered my ears and buried myself in the blanket in a fetal position. Yes. This moment called for my Ambush skill.

  Megumin, meanwhile, was looking blankly at the window.

  “…Kazuma, what in the world happened here?”

  “…General Winter went by earlier. Froze it right shut.”

  Megumin ripped off the covers I was trying to hide under. “What is the meaning of this, Kazuma?! You did this, didn’t you? I know you did it, but I cannot imagine why! Why would you freeze my window?!”

  Yow, was it cold without that blanket!

  Still curled up, I tried not to look at Megumin.

  “…If I tell you, will you promise not to get mad?”

  “Explain yourself, or the ice on this window will seem warm compared to the frosty looks everyone will be giving you tomorrow morning!”

  I confessed everything.

  “…Kazuma, are you a complete moron? I can never tell if you are brilliant or an utter idiot. I take back all the gratitude I gave you earlier.”

  “There’s nothing I can say. I have no idea why I did something so stupid, especially after yesterday.”

  Maybe all this travel was messing with my brain. Megumin gave the ice on the window a tap. I had put everything I had into that Freeze spell; it was too thick to break through with a little smack.

  Instead, Megumin walked over to the door. “Unlock this at once!” she shouted, poundi
ng on it. “Come on, open—! Mom! Mooooom!” But other than Megumin’s yelling, the house was dead silent. There was no hint of anyone waking up.

  Shivering, I pulled the covers back over myself. “Give it up. It’s freezing. Let’s go to sleep. Don’t worry, I won’t do anything—trust me. And if you really can’t wait to go to the bathroom, there’s an empty bottle over there.”

  “What is it with you and offering me empty bottles?!” Megumin demanded, squirming. “And I might have trusted you up until a few minutes ago, but now I think you really are dangerous! Argh…!”

  Man, what happened to those good vibes?

  “Look, I’m sorry, my bad. I won’t do anything! I was kind of confused when I froze that window shut, but I see how stupid it was now. I’m sorry,” I said.

  “At least get out of bed to say it,” Megumin said in a defeated tone. Maybe the cold had finally gotten the better of her, because she crawled back under the covers.

  “Whoo!”

  Megumin interrupted my celebration. “Kazuma. This will come back to haunt you tomorrow morning.” Her crimson eyes sparkled dangerously.

  Well, a great man of the past said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow until tomorrow.” That was sage advice. Megumin had taken my hand earlier, but now she lay as far away on the bed as she could and turned her back to me. We looked like a husband and wife going through a rough patch.

  “…Hey. Aren’t you cold? I sure am. Come closer.”

  “…Geez. It was so nice earlier. I wish we could go back to that.” Megumin sighed.

  As quietly as I could, I intoned, “Freeze.”

  “Did you just say you were cold and then use ice magic?! Just how desperate are you to sleep next to me?” She sounded both frustrated and angry. “Sigh… There’s only one pillow. You use it, Kazuma. But in exchange, I will borrow your arm.” And then she slid up next to me.

  “H-hey, after all that, you just glom on to me? I’m not— This isn’t easy for me, either, you know.”

  Megumin, the covers pulled up almost over her head, buried her face in my chest. “I think I’ll tell Darkness that you really are a timid little rabbit who tries to joke his way out of any situation when the opportunity comes up,” she said, giggling.