Crimson Magic Clan, Let’s & Go!!

by Natsume Akatsuki

  Sylvia, having lost her target just as the battle was heating up, muttered forlornly:

  “I hate you Crimson Magic Clan people.”

  …I feel ya.

  5

  A Crimson Magic man stood in front of Sylvia, blocking her way. With a somber expression, he said, “Sylvia. What a terrible form you’ve assumed. Now I shall have to use the ace up my sl— Eeeyow! H-hey, that’s hot! It’s only polite to let a person finish his dramatic monologue before you attack him!”

  Sylvia had interrupted him in the middle of his proclamation with a blast of her fire breath, and he scrambled to get out of the way.

  “I don’t have time for your little games anymore! If you don’t want to fight, then you’d better disappear for good!”

  Sylvia was beginning to lose her cool at the Crimson Magic Clan’s hit-and-run tactics. But she was far enough from the underground storehouse. Now was our chance. I would have liked nothing better than to run away, but it was my fault the seal had been broken.

  “Okay, here we go. Darkness, if those wizards get themselves in too much trouble, you take care of them. They’re powerful, but they’re still wizards. When they run out of MP, they won’t be able to use Teleport to escape anymore.”

  “I understand. You can count on me!” She gave a firm nod.

  Beside her, Megumin asked, “Wh-what should I do? I cannot use Teleport, so I don’t know if there is much I can do to buy time…” She looked up at me uneasily.

  “We’re keeping you in reserve in case we really need you. You said Mage-killer isn’t impervious to magic, just very hard to damage with it, right? We know advanced magic doesn’t work, but has anyone tried using Explosion on it yet? It might just be enough to do damage.”

  That was the excuse I gave her anyway. I didn’t want to make her use her magic this time. I remembered what Yunyun had said, how bad it would be for Megumin if the villagers discovered she could use only Explosion.

  My bluff must have worked, because Megumin gripped her staff tighter as her breathing intensified. In the distance, the Crimson Magic Clan wizards were still distracting Sylvia…

  “Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! What’s wrong? Let’s see just how fast you can teleport!”

  “Wait, I’m not done chanting—! Everyone, watch out! She’s getting quicker!”

  …Uh-oh, Sylvia was more used to her body now. The wizards weren’t really distracting her anymore; she was simply chasing them.

  “Okay, Kazuma, just leave protecting the storehouse to me. You can look around inside in perfect safety.”

  “Stop trying to ditch me and come on!”

  I grabbed Aqua, who was determined to weasel out of her part in the plan until the bitter end, and used Ambush to allow the two of us to sneak past the magical battle with Sylvia.

  At length we arrived at the bunker and entered through the hole Sylvia had made getting out. A glance back at the general herself showed that she was still focused on chasing down the Crimson Magic Clan. Maybe it was the nearing dawn that accounted for the light I could see on the far side of the mountain—but inside the bunker, it was pitch-black.

  Aqua and I, both capable of seeing in the dark, slipped into the underground storehouse. Now we just had to find the—

  “…Geez. We’re supposed to find that thing in here?”

  The storehouse was an absolute mess of magical items. We didn’t know whether the weapon was even here, let alone which one of these things it was…

  “Hey, Kazuma, hey! Look at this!” As I stood there fretting, Aqua happily brought me something she had picked up. I took a look…

  “If it isn’t a Game Girl! What’s an ancient piece of gaming equipment like that doing in a place like this?” It was a portable gaming device that had been popular in Japan before I was born.

  Aqua set the thing on the floor and started rummaging through a pile of magical items. “If there’s a game system, there must be games around here. Hey, Kazuma, if we find a copy of Ristet, can I have it, please? I’ll let you play.”

  “We’re not looking for video games; we’re looking for a weapon! Do you see anything weapon-y around here? …Wait, what even is this place? Why are there so many things from Earth here?”

  The vast majority of the magical items were actually various kinds of video-game machines. As a gamer, I felt my heart skip a beat, but this wasn’t the time. All the consoles seemed a little off, too, as though an amateur had been struggling to make them…

  Aqua beckoned to me from a corner of the room, where she seemed to have discovered something.

  “Kazuma, look what I found.” She showed me a diary. I came up beside her, peeking at the pages. They were full of what the Crimson Magic Clan people would have called ancient letters.

  …That’s right. The diary was written in Japanese.

  Aqua began to read…

  Month Such-and-Such, day So-and-So. Crap! They found out about this building. Luckily, they don’t seem to understand what the things are that I’ve made. If they realized I had spent the country’s research budget creating video games and toys, who knows what they’d do to me?

  I started connecting the dots. Some Japanese guy who got sent here before me must have set up this facility. That was why you had to enter the Konami code to get in. Maybe this diary would offer some kind of clue for us.

  Month Such-and-Such, day So-and-So. The bigwigs who barged into my paradise wanted to know what my game was good for. I could hardly tell them it’s just for amusement. So I put on the straightest face I could muster and lied through my teeth. I told them it was a weapon that could very well destroy the world. “Th-this…?” asked one of the researchers. She flipped the switch on the Game Girl, and I could see her jump when it went da-ding! She’s a tough lady—and she’s afraid of a little game machine?

  …?

  Why was my stomach twisting?

  Month Such-and-Such, day So-and-So. They told me they were going to dramatically expand my budget. In return, I was to create a weapon that could fight the Demon King. Seriously? I’ve already made more than enough use of the cheat I got when I was sent to this world. I’ve done my part for this country. They can ask for whatever they want—but it won’t do any good. I put on my most serious face and said, “War will not solve anything,” etc., etc. But my colleague just gave me a smack. She huffed that we were “at war with the Demon King” and I “had work to do.” And that’s true enough. But what the heck kind of weapon could fight that monster?

  I had a bad feeling, all right. I remembered the last time we found a half-assed diary like this… But bad feeling or no, Aqua read on.

  Month Such-and-Such, day So-and-So. I think I’ll make a giant humanoid robot. One that can transform! I submitted the plans, but they angrily told me to be serious. Even though I was being serious! I just stuck a finger up my nose and shot back, “Well then, we’ll just make it huge and resistant to magic.” And they went along with it! Is that really all it takes? They told me to draw up some blueprints—but what am I going to model it on? …Huh? Is that a stray dog? And not a moment too soon. He’s perfect. It’ll be a dog-shaped weapon, and I think I’ll call it “Mage-killer.”

  …Dog-shaped weapon?

  Month Such-and-Such, day So-and-So. The higher-ups were very happy with my blueprints. They said, “Ah, yes, a snake. Much easier than having to build legs. Excellent idea.” Excuse me, but that’s supposed to be a dog. I know I’m not the best artist, but are they blind? It’s a dog with a long metal body… Actually, I guess it does kind of look like a snake.

  ……………

  Month Such-and-Such, day So-and-So. Testing has begun. I got it to move, but the battery just doesn’t last. I pitted it against some members of the Magic Clan, but it quickly stopped moving. They all seemed to be pretty scared of it, though, for no apparent reason. That’s great. I’ll tell them this weapon is too powerful to leave in human hands and shut it up in this building. It has no batteries, so it won’t work, but maybe some
day I can make it part of a chimera and turn it into a living weapon. Then it wouldn’t need batteries, plus that would be wicked cool.

  Okay, I think I’m starting to get the picture. The guy who wrote this diary was probably the same guy who built…you know.

  Month Such-and-Such, day So-and-So. I’ve come up with a new weapon to fight the Demon King. Well, it’s really just a human modification. I asked around this country for volunteers to undergo augmentation surgery, and I got so many applicants, I had to pick by lottery. They’re practically obsessed with modifications here. Are they sure about this? I told them their memories would be gone after the surgery. I explained to my participants that it was just a simple procedure to allow them to use magic to the greatest possible extent. They, in turn, asked me for all kinds of ridiculous things, like could I also make their eyes red, or could I put serial numbers on them or something. Does everyone around here think like this?

  It had better be the same guy, because I would hate to think there was more than one person out there who would write crap like this.

  Month Such-and-Such, day So-and-So. The augmentation is finally done. My subjects came to me saying, “Master, give us new names.” Who the hell is this “master”? Why are they so into this? I didn’t want to be bothered, so I gave them random names. They seemed awfully happy about it, though. I kind of wonder about their sanity. But they’re strong—really strong. The bigwigs seem happy again. I’m moving up in the world—I’ll be head of research starting tomorrow. Frankly, I would rather have a nice, fat bonus than a fancy title. Since I’d gone to the trouble, I figured I would give a name to these enhanced people. I called them the “Crimson Magic Clan,” after the color of their eyes. My colleague told me that was way too obvious. Damn her.

  “Whaaat?!” I exclaimed without meaning to. Aqua stopped reading and looked at me. “S-sorry,” I said. “Go on.” The Crimson Magic Clan were modified humans? This had gotten really heavy all of a sudden…

  Month Such-and-Such, day So-and-So. The Crimson Magic Clan members are begging me for a weapon to counter Mage-killer, which they consider the greatest threat to their existence. I mean, it doesn’t even work. I didn’t build it to threaten them, and it doesn’t have any batteries. But no matter how many times I explain this to them, no one will listen to me. What is this, the enhanced human equivalent of the “terrible twos”? Fine. I built them a weapon. I wasn’t going to think too hard about it at first, but I got a little too into it, and it’s actually something now. Maybe this weapon really could destroy the world. It’s kind of a laser cannon. It doesn’t use electromagnetic acceleration or anything, but I can’t come up with a good name, so for the moment I’m dubbing it the Railgun (tentative name).

  …Okay. Not so heavy.

  Month Such-and-Such, day So-and-So. My Railgun (tentative) is awesome. Super awesome. Honestly, it might be too awesome to handle. I meant for it to be a simple weapon shot with compressed magic, but when I let the Crimson guys fire off a round, I was surprised by just how destructive it was. It was downright frightening. It probably won’t have power like that for long, though. I just kind of threw it together from whatever parts I could find. It looks likely to just fall apart after a few shots. It could be really dangerous in the wrong hands, though, so I think I’ll shut it up here, too… Actually, the length is almost exactly right for a drying pole. Man, am I in trouble now. Everyone is riding high because the “Crimson Magic Clan” thing worked out so well, and now the higher-ups want to use their exploding national budget to build a supersize mobile weapon. Do they think it’ll be that easy? What a bunch of morons. Not that it has anything to do with me.

  …Welp, no doubt now. The author of this diary…

  “That looks like the end… Hey, I think I recognize his handwriting from somewhere.”

  …was definitely the scientist who built Mobile Fortress Destroyer and then went full skeleton inside it. Judging by what he wrote here, he must have gone on to build it after this.

  “Of course you do. You read the diary in Mobile Fortress Destroyer, right? It’s got to be by the same guy.”

  At that, Aqua gave an excited clap of her hands. Did she have a special talent for identifying handwriting or something?

  …Hang on a second.

  “Hey, so was the diary we found on Destroyer written in Japanese, too?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “What do you mean, Uh-huh? You didn’t think you should mention an important fact like that?!”

  “Y-you never asked!”

  I pressed my fingers to my aching head. “Dammit! So you’re telling me all this—Destroyer, Mage-killer, everything—was because of some OP Japanese guy you randomly sent here, whose name you can’t even remember?! You would send a ham sandwich here, wouldn’t you?!” I stopped dead. “Just a minute.”

  Aqua gave me an inquiring cock of her head.

  “I never really thought about it before, but just how old are you, anyway? You have to have been a goddess since at least before Mobile Fortress Destroyer was created.”

  Aqua dropped the diary on the ground with a thump. “…Kazuma, what kind of answer do you expect, asking a goddess her age? You’re seriously headed for divine punishment, you know that? …Let me explain something to you. That room where we first met? The flow of time is slowed way down there. Meaning it’s not even possible to express my age in years as you know them. Okay? So don’t ask again. You try another question like that and I really will give you a taste of divine retribution, Mr. Kazuma Satou.”

  She sounded unusually serious. I muttered, so quietly that she might or might not hear me:

  “I get it. You’re old, huh…”

  “Whaaaaat?! You take that back! Who are you calling old?! Time is slower where I live than where you live, so I’ve been around longer than you, that’s all! Take it back! Waaaaah!”

  Everything I laid eyes on here was something that, as a gamer, I was desperate to take home with me. But this wasn’t the time. I was pawing through the mountains of gaming equipment, looking for the Railgun (tentative).

  “Dammit, where is that stupid Railgun? He said it’s the size of a drying pole; there’s no way we could miss it!”

  “Hey, Kazuma, time moves differently in Japan than in the divine realm or even here. For example, a month in Japan is just about an hour in the divine realm. But it could be several months in this world. You see? So when it comes to my age… Hey, are you listening?”

  Aqua had been going on with what sounded like excuses for a while now.

  “I don’t care about that! Just help me look, already! Do you see a rail gun anywhere? About the length of a drying pole…”

  …The length of a drying pole?

  Rail gun?

  Hang on. I was pretty sure we saw something that fit that description somewhere in the village not too long ago. Yes! At the clothing store, the one Cheekera ran…!

  “Aqua, I’ve got it! I know where to find the weapon!”

  But as I turned toward Aqua…

  DA-DIIING!

  “Hey, look, this works. It seems to use magic instead of batteries, though. I wonder how many games it has? I’d love to take them all home.”

  I silently took the game machine from her, raised it way over my head, and…

  “Graaaaaaahhhhhh!”

  “Nooooo! My Game Girl!”

  6

  I dashed through the village, burning embers swirling through the air.

  …And I could hear Aqua’s shrill voice behind me.

  “Give it back! Give me back my Game Girl! We’ll probably never be able to get another one in this world! You owe me big! You have to pay me back with the money you get when we go home! Three hundred million is cheap as the price when you consider that was an irreplaceable, one-of-a-kind object!”

  “Will you shut up about the games already?! We’ve got bigger problems! And it wasn’t yours anyway—you just found it on the ground! How can you be so much older than me and still act like a
spoiled child?!”

  “Ooh, you’re really pushing it, mister! I told you, celestial beings don’t age! You’ll regret ticking off the goddess of water! I’ll curse you so your toilet doesn’t flush, and your shower suddenly turns cold, and…!”

  I ignored Aqua as she listed off the infantile “divine punishments” she planned to inflict. In the meantime, we finally arrived at the clothing store.

  In the garden, the dull silver rifle-slash-drying-pole was waiting for us. From Destroyer to Mage-killer, the guy who built this stuff clearly had a homicidal streak. What was this doing here, anyway? They should be stashing it somewhere safe. What a bunch of idiots there were in this village. I could lecture them all day about using something this dangerous to dry their clothes.

  The gun was a bit over three meters long. I tried to lift the shimmering silver weapon, but it was too heavy for one person to carry alone. I had Aqua help me.

  There was some ridiculous-looking thing stuck to the back of the rifle, maybe a device to absorb magic. Railgun was a laughably obvious name for this thing, but it did have the look of a futuristic weapon.

  “Okay, now we just have to get this back to the Crimson Magic Clan people, and… Huh?”

  I suddenly noticed a vague sense of apprehension in my chest. The sounds of destruction that had been so prevalent a moment before had gone quiet. I looked around in confusion, and it was easy to spot Sylvia’s massive body in the village. Far in the distance, she had come to a stop.

  7

  We brought the rifle closer to Sylvia, taking care not to be noticed. She had gone stock-still and was staring intently at a single point. And what she was staring at was…

  “Isn’t that Yunyun?! What is that girl thinking…?”

  There was Yunyun, standing on a huge rock and glaring down at Sylvia. I had a notion why she was facing down Sylvia all alone. The other Crimson Magic Clan people were out of MP. But that didn’t seem to be the only reason they were all gathered around to observe.