Five Dates Only

by R. L. Kenderson

  I had Googled ways to ruin car paint—at the library, thank you very much—and there were a lot of options. I’d really wanted to go with some strong paint remover, but Melanie had thought it was too harsh. The asshole deserved harsh, but it wasn’t worth it if it was going to stress my friend out.

  Just when I thought I couldn’t handle the anticipation anymore, Caleb’s black Toyota Tundra pulled up. Personally, I thought a man driving a truck was sexier than driving a classic car, but I didn’t say that out loud.

  I pulled the binoculars up to my face again and watched the back of Caleb’s tawny head as he walked into the house.

  “Okay, he’s inside. Let’s give him five minutes to make sure he didn’t forget anything, and then it’s game on.”

  We waited ten minutes because Mel was getting nervous before getting out of my dad’s truck. I wasn’t dumb enough to park my own car down the street from the Stantons’ home.

  It also helped that my father worked as a landscaper. Having his work truck parked outside with various things like shovels looked more natural. To complete the look, we wore shorts and T-shirts and baseball caps with the company logo.

  I grabbed the two bottles of brake fluid from the back and handed one to Mel.

  “I still can’t believe brake fluid is bad.”

  “It’s not that bad. It’ll just leave streaks in his paint job.” At least, that was what I’d gotten from the YouTube videos I’d watched.

  She bit her lip.

  “Mel, come on. He can afford to spend a thousand bucks on a paint job. Think of everything he’s put you through.”

  Her eyes narrowed. “You’re right. I’m just struggling with the angel on my shoulder, who is telling me this is wrong.”

  Funny. I had no trouble telling my angel to shut up.

  I put my hand on her shoulder. “This won’t ruin his car in any way. He’ll still be able to drive it. He’ll still be safe. It’s not like we’re cutting his brake line or anything.” I tapped my chin. “Although …”

  Mel playfully shoved me. “Hey now. No murder.”

  I laughed. “You’re right.” Even I had my limits.

  I reached into the back of the truck for the last item we needed. A grocery sack full of Silly String.

  Mel’s eyes widened, and she chuckled. “Silly String?”

  I grinned and wiggled my eyebrows. “I thought it would be fun to see Neil’s face when he saw his precious car covered in Silly String. Then, when he washes it off—surprise—his paint is ruined.”

  Mel laughed, and I was glad to see she was no longer having reservations.

  “Let’s go,” I said.

  We were almost to the Stantons’ driveway, so I put a finger to my lips. The front door was open with just a thin glass screen door separating the outside to the inside.

  Neil’s car was parked in the middle row of the driveway with his parents’ motorhome on the far side, blocking Melanie and me from the neighbor’s house. But, if someone walked out of the Stanton home, it would be hard for the two of us to hide.

  I gently set the cans of Silly String on the ground, so they didn’t make clanking noises against the concrete, and I went for the cap of the bottle of brake fluid.

  “Why are these so hard to open?” Melanie hissed.

  “I think it’s because we’re nervous,” I answered. My hands were shaking, and my heart was racing.

  I was afraid that I was going to spill the fluid all over if I continued to try to open it while standing up, so I crouched down to use the ground to keep the bottle from tipping.

  Mel squatted down next to me when she saw what I was doing. My plan worked, and I was just about to stand up when I heard the screen door to the house open.

  “I forgot the buns in the car. I’m grabbing them now,” a voice said from the house.

  It was Caleb. Apparently, ten minutes hadn’t been long enough to wait.

  Melanie and I froze, the look of horror on her face probably matching my own.

  I put my finger to my lips. Caleb’s truck was in the row closest to the house and one car back while we were between the motor home and Neil’s car. If we didn’t make any noise and Caleb didn’t bother to look too hard, we should be safe.

  I could hear Caleb open and close his truck door, and his footsteps receded back toward the house. The screen door opened and closed again, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

  “That was close,” Mel said.

  “No kidding. I thought my heart was racing before.”

  “Same here.”

  I slowly stood, looking around to make sure no one was outside, and poured the brake fluid on the side of the car. “Make sure it doesn’t cover the whole car; otherwise, it won’t leave streaks in the paint.”

  “I remember.”

  It didn’t take us long to empty our two little bottles of brake fluid before we took out the Silly String.

  Covering Neil’s car with the stuff was more fun than I’d thought it would be. Toward the end, I even drew him a special picture on the hood.

  “Why did you draw a rocket?” Mel whispered.

  I put the can down. “It’s not a rocket. It’s a dick.”

  Mel turned her head. “I don’t see it.” She looked at me. “Why did you try to draw a dick?”

  “I didn’t try.” I thought it was a good rendition of the male appendage. “And I did it because Neil is a dick.”

  She grinned. “Good one.”

  “Thanks.”

  “We’d probably better go.”

  “You’re right.”

  We made sure we didn’t leave anything behind and went back to my dad’s truck. We put our paraphernalia in the back, hopped in the cab, and took off.

  We went to my parents’ house where my car was. We changed out of our landscaper clothes, and Mel fixed her hair and makeup while I put all the evidence of our misdeeds in my parents’ trash.

  I said a quick hello and good-bye to my dad, who was working in the garage and who hadn’t even questioned why I needed his truck. God bless the preoccupied, self-absorbed man.

  Twenty minutes later, I was dropping her back off at the Stantons’.

  “I’ll see you around eight thirty?” I asked.

  “Sounds good.”

  “Call me if you want me to come sooner.”

  “Will do.” She looked at me. “We did good, right?”

  “Hell yeah. The cheating scumbag won’t know what hit him.”

  “Am I a bad person that I don’t feel very guilty?”

  I shook my head. “Not in the least. He really deserves a kick in the nuts. He could’ve had it worse.”

  Melanie laughed. “Thanks, Sloan.”

  I smiled. “Anytime. Now, go. I’ll see you soon.”

  “I can’t wait to see his reaction.”

  My smile turned into a grin. “Me either.”

  Three

  Caleb

  There was a knock at my parents’ front door. I was the only one in the kitchen—everyone else was in the back—so I answered it.

  “Hey, Melanie.”

  “Hi, Caleb.”

  My brother’s girlfriend was a tiny blonde who was one of the nicest people I knew. She was also way too good for Neil. I had no idea what she saw in him. My brother was always more interested in himself than Melanie. She deserved better.

  “Everyone’s out back,” I told her. “My dad is grilling steaks. I hope you like them.”

  She smiled. “Love them.”

  I thought she meant it. The thing about Melanie was, she would never say that she didn’t. Like I said, she was nice. She would never complain.

  Yet, today, she seemed a little on edge. I hoped my brother hadn’t done something stupid.

  “You okay?” I asked.

  “Oh, um … yeah, I’m fine.”

  “Okay,” I said. “I’ll see you out there.”

  Melanie went out to the backyard, and I went back to the kitchen. I snuck a bite of my mom’s homemade macaroni s
alad—because it was my favorite—and grabbed two beers.

  Once outside, I held up a beer for Melanie to see. “Do you want one?”

  “Yes, please.”

  I handed it to her.

  “Thank you.”

  Neil lifted his dark head from his phone and frowned at his girlfriend. “You don’t drink beer.”

  “Yes, I do. Just not all the time.” Melanie looked him in the eye and took a long sip.

  I grinned behind my own bottle. I was beginning to think I might be right about the two of them having problems.

  I sat down at the patio table between my mom and brother.

  “So, how have you been, Melanie?” my mom asked.

  “Good.”

  “Anything new in your life?”

  Melanie took another drink of her beer. “Nothing right now.”

  I frowned. The way she’d said that made her sound nervous, which seemed odd.

  I looked at my brother. He didn’t seem to notice anything. He was too busy staring at his phone.

  “And work is going well?”

  My mother, bless her, was simply being polite to her guest, but I could tell that Melanie didn’t like the focus on her.

  “I’m thinking about buying a house,” I butted in.

  My mom turned in her chair to see me better. “Caleb, that’s wonderful.”

  Neil actually looked up from his phone at my announcement. “Are you sure you can afford it?” he asked.

  I gritted my teeth. “Yes. Just because I didn’t graduate college doesn’t mean I don’t have a good job.”

  Neil had graduated with an accounting degree and was a CPA. Now, he was a director of finance or something at some investment company. Truthfully, I tried to ignore him when he talked about work.

  He never held back in letting everyone know that I was the screwup, the black sheep, while he was the star child. What made it even worse was that he was younger than me. Only by a year, but it still pissed me off.

  “I personally think it’s good for you to start looking for something permanent,” my dad said from the grill. This was my dad’s form of support. He wasn’t giving me an I knew you could do it cheer, but he also wasn’t telling me I couldn’t the way Neil was.

  “I need a real estate agent first,” I said.

  Melanie’s eyes lit up. “Sloan is a realtor. I can give her your info if you’d like.”

  Neil frowned. “Don’t go with her. I’ll give you the name of the guy who sold me my house.”

  My brother was unbelievable. Not only had he totally dismissed his girlfriend’s suggestion, but Sloan was also her friend.

  “Sloan is a nice girl,” my mother said.

  I smiled at Melanie. “I would appreciate that. Please tell her I’m interested,” I said even though I really didn’t want to work with her friend.

  Sloan was kind of standoffish, and even though I hadn’t done anything to her, I could tell she didn’t like me. I didn’t want to work with someone difficult, but talking to her wouldn’t hurt anyone. I didn’t have to go with her in the end.

  Melanie grinned. “You won’t regret it. Her clients love her.”

  Maybe I had exaggerated Sloan’s coldness in my head. Either way, saying yes was worth it to see the smile on Melanie’s face and the scowl on Neil’s.

  “She’s actually picking me up later tonight. You can talk to her then.”

  “Great,” I said.

  “Steaks are done,” my dad said.

  Dinner was delicious, and Neil actually put his phone down and talked to his family, which was a surprise.

  Around eight thirty, the doorbell rang.

  “I’ll get it,” Melanie said. “That’ll be Sloan.”

  From the kitchen, I heard the screen door open and the two ladies talking.

  “Um … Neil?” Melanie said, her voice full of worry.

  My brother was still in the backyard.

  “Neil,” I yelled. “Melanie wants you.”

  “What does she want?” he yelled back.

  I sighed. “He wants to know what you want, Melanie.”

  “Tell him something happened to his car.”

  I didn’t even have to repeat the message. There was a loud clank outside, and my brother came rushing through the back door.

  “What’s wrong?” he demanded.

  “You should look outside,” Sloan said. “I noticed it as I was coming up the drive.”

  Now, my interest was piqued, as were my parents’. We all rushed outside, and when I saw Neil’s car covered in Silly String, I burst out laughing.

  Neil swung around. “You did this,” he accused.

  “The hell I did. I was inside the house or in the backyard with you the whole night.”

  My brother pursed his lips. He knew I was right.

  “But it doesn’t mean I don’t wish I had done it,” I said.

  “Asshole,” he muttered and turned back toward his car.

  Whoever had done it deserved a medal. Neil’s classic car was covered in bright neon colors. There was so much Silly String; there was no way he would be able to see out of the windshield.

  “Who would do such a thing?” my mother asked.

  I looked at my mom. She didn’t look as horrified as she’d tried to sound. I actually thought she might be trying not to laugh. My dad looked like he was biting the inside of his cheeks, too.

  I stepped closer to the car and noticed something on the hood. It wasn’t random Silly String. It was a drawing. “Why the hell would they draw a rocket on your car?” I asked.

  “Personally, I think it looks like a dick,” Sloan said, pushing her red hair off her shoulder. Her eyes widened when she noticed my parents standing there. “Sorry. I mean, wiener. Uh, no, I mean …” Her cheeks were now pink.

  “We know what you meant. It’s a penis,” I interrupted. I studied the thing. “It’s not a very good one though.”

  “Who cares if there’s a dick on my car?” my brother said. “What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

  “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Clean it.”

  “Do you mind if I use your bathroom?” Sloan asked my parents.

  “I’ll show you where it is,” Melanie said.

  The two went inside, and I looked at the car again and had an idea. I patted the back of my jeans. Damn. My phone was inside.

  “Don’t do anything yet,” I told my brother. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Why?” he asked.

  No way was I telling him I needed a picture. “Just hold on.”

  I went into the house to search for my phone. It was by the back door, and as I picked it up, I heard Melanie and her friend.

  “The look on his face was priceless,” Sloan said.

  “I can’t believe it actually worked,” Melanie said. “I was so nervous at dinner.”

  “Did Neil notice?”

  “Nah, he was too busy staring at his phone.”

  “Thank God. He’d crucify us if he ever found out we were the ones who had done that to his car.”

  Holy shit. I couldn’t believe these two were behind the prank. It seemed Melanie really was sick of her boyfriend’s shit.

  “I’d better get back out there,” Melanie said.

  “Okay. I’ll be out in a second. I really do need to use the bathroom.”

  I waited for Melanie to go back outside before going there myself. I didn’t want her to know I’d been eavesdropping. I didn’t want her to worry that I would ever tell my brother it was her because he probably deserved it.

  I started for the front door when my phone buzzed. It was a text message.

  Ted: Dinner is at six tomorrow night. Mary is going to make her famous lasagna. Don’t forget to tell your girlfriend. I would hate for her to make other plans.

  I swallowed. It was supposed to sound friendly, but I knew Ted was testing me. I’d almost forgotten about the whole find-a-girlfriend thing.

  I heard the toilet flush and the sink running. And I rem
embered what Melanie had said about Sloan being my realtor. Maybe she could be more than that.

  The door opened, and the light turned off.

  Sloan walked out into the hall and stopped when she saw me. “How long have you been standing there?”

  “Long enough,” I told her.

  She lifted her chin, and her blue eyes narrowed. “How much did you hear?”

  “Let’s just say, I know what happened to Neil’s car,” I said.

  She stalked toward me. “Are you going to tell?”

  “That depends.”

  “On what?” she asked.

  I smiled. “What if I said that I’m in need of something as much as you are? I think we can cut a deal.”

  Desperate times called for desperate measures after all.

  Four

  Sloan

  I crossed my arms across my chest. “I’m not fucking you.”

  Caleb took a step back as his eyebrows flew up and his eyes widened in shock. “Uh, no. Nothing sexual.” He shook his head as if the idea was crazy.

  I dropped my arms. “Okay.” But did he have to look so revolted? I was a cute girl. Plenty of guys wanted to fuck me. “What do you want then?”

  “A girlfriend.”

  I looked Caleb up and down. This guy didn’t need help with getting a girlfriend. He was about six-two with tawny-colored hair and these big hazel eyes. I loved big eyes on men, but I would never share that with Caleb. He also had a very nice body. Muscular but not too much. Slim and trim was what I called his type. Basically, he was hot. The problem was, he probably knew it, which was why I’d stayed away from him. I’d had one too many things go wrong when it came to sexy guys.

  I snorted. “I didn’t think you had trouble with finding women.”

  “I don’t,” he said with a bite. “But it’s more complicated than that.”

  Oh. The plot thickens.

  “Do tell.”

  “No. Not until you agree.”

  I snorted. “You’re crazy.”

  The sound of Neil screaming cut through the air.

  Caleb and I ran to the screen door and looked outside. Neil stood with a broom in his hand and a pile of Silly String at his feet.

  “My car is ruined!” Neil yelled. “My paint.”

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Caleb look down at me.