Five Dates Only

by R. L. Kenderson

  But what I really didn’t like was that he’d remembered I drank wine. He wasn’t supposed to remember anything about me.

  “Here come the drinks,” Ted said as he entered the room with a woman behind him.

  She had two glasses of wine, and she handed one to me. “I’m Mary, Ted’s wife.”

  I smiled. “Nice to meet you. Thank you for the invite. And thank you for cooking.”

  “You are more than welcome, dear.” She walked over to Caleb, and they kissed each other on the cheek. “I like her already,” she told him.

  Caleb smiled. “Your approval’s all I need, Mar.”

  Mary laughed and held out her hand. “Sit, you two. This is supposed to be a relaxing night.”

  There were two love seats with a coffee table in the middle, and Caleb sat on one. I was about to sit on the one opposite him when he lifted an eyebrow.

  I quickly hightailed it over to him and parked my butt while Mary and Ted sat across from us.

  “How long have you known each other?” Mary asked.

  I pretended to think about it because, to me, it seemed more realistic. If I just blurted out the answer, it might sound like we’d rehearsed. “We met when my friend started dating Caleb’s brother.” I looked at him. “So, it’s been about a year and a half. Right, honey?”

  Caleb had been taking a drink of his beer and started coughing when I called him honey. He wiped the side of his mouth with his thumb. “That sounds about right.”

  Mary looked surprised. “And you’ve been dating this whole time?”

  “Oh my, no,” I said. “We’ve only been seeing each other for about two or three months.”

  “I would never be able to keep someone like Sloan a secret for over a year.”

  The three of us laughed, but Ted said, “That’s a good thing because it wasn’t that long ago that he brought another girl by the shop. I think her name was Tiffany.”

  Caleb looked uncomfortable, and while I couldn’t be sure, I was pretty confident Ted was testing Caleb and me.

  I shooed my hand in front of me. “She’s got nothing on me, Ted.”

  Caleb relaxed, and Ted smiled.

  A buzzer sounded from another room, and Mary stood. “Dinner’s ready. Ted, will you show them to the dining room?”

  Dinner was delicious, and despite the continuous quizzing, I was actually enjoying myself. I swirled my glass of wine in my hand. Of course, that could be all the alcohol talking.

  We were finishing up, and I wiped my mouth and set my napkin on my plate. “That was delicious, Mary. I don’t think I’ve ever had homemade lasagna. I’m never going to want to eat it at a restaurant again.”

  Mary grinned. “Thank you. You’re more than welcome to come and eat anytime.”

  I leaned over and put my head on Caleb’s shoulder. “You must bring me here every time this is on the menu.”

  He smiled down at me, and I couldn’t help but notice how beautiful he looked. My eyes moved down to his mouth, and I wondered what his lips tasted like.

  “You don’t have to have Caleb bring you. You can come here on your own,” Mary said.

  I lifted my head and gasped. “Really? That’s so nice of you.”

  Caleb leaned close to my ear. “I think you’d better lay off the wine.”

  His breath was hot on my neck, and I shivered. It had been a long time since I was kissed there.

  I grabbed for my glass. Oh jeez. I should not be thinking about kissing and necks. I smiled at him. “I’m fine, thank you.” I patted him on the knee. “Besides, you’re driving.”

  Ted and Mary laughed, and I beamed at their approval. I liked these two.

  “How does dessert sound?” Mary asked.

  “Delicious,” I said.

  “You didn’t make anything with eggs, right?” Caleb asked, his tone full of concern. “I texted Ted to tell you that Sloan is allergic to eggs.”

  Mary smiled at the two of us, but I barely noticed.

  Caleb had remembered I was allergic to eggs. That was so sweet.

  It probably didn’t sound sweet to everyone, but when someone remembered you had a life-threatening allergy and went out of their way to make sure you could eat with the rest of the group, it was very considerate.

  Some people treated me like not eating certain things was a choice. When I was a kid, I’d hated going to birthday parties and being the only one who couldn’t eat the cake. It had always made me feel like an outsider.

  “Yes, Caleb,” Mary said, “I remembered. We’re having apple pie and ice cream. No eggs in either. I even made sure the lasagna noodles didn’t have eggs in them.” She stood. “Ted, will you come and help me?”

  “I can help you,” I quickly volunteered.

  “No, no. You are a guest. You sit and relax,” Mary told me.

  I could tell she meant business. “Okay,” I said with a smile. But I was definitely bringing my dirty dishes to the kitchen when we were done eating.

  Ted and Mary left the dining room, and I looked at Caleb.

  “What?” he asked. “Do I have food on my face or something?” He picked up his napkin and ran it across his mouth.

  I smiled. “No. Thank you for telling them about my allergy.”

  He grinned. “Now, I know you really are drunk.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Because you just thanked me.”

  “Ha-ha.”

  He leaned closer. “And you’re welcome. I want a fake girlfriend, not a dead date.” He ran his thumb over my chin. “But, right now, I need to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

  Ted came back to the dining room first. “Mary’s bringing it all out at the same time.”

  “That’s fine. I can wait,” I assured him.

  “I hope you didn’t have to cancel plans last minute to come tonight.”

  “I was supposed to show a few houses, but I just moved some things around.”

  “Show houses?”

  “Yes, I’m a realtor.”

  Ted started nodding. “I see. And Caleb is buying a house from you?”

  “He’d better, or I’ve been wasting my time these past couple of weeks.” I laughed at my joke. And I mentally patted myself on the back for my quick reply, as if I’d been showing him houses for a while now.

  But Ted barely smiled. “Did Caleb convince you to play the role of his girlfriend tonight?”

  I froze. “Excuse me?” So much for singing my own praises. I had no idea how to respond.

  “Did Caleb influence you to play the role of his girlfriend tonight? Maybe in exchange for spending more money?”

  “Theodore Goldman, I’m ashamed of you. Caleb is like the son we never had,” Mary said from behind Ted as she came in the room with the dessert.

  Ted helped her set it on the table. “Honey, you know I love Caleb, and that’s why I’m asking these questions. I know how much he wants the store, but I want to make sure he really wants it. He might be the son I never had, but that store is my baby.”

  I was still sitting in my seat with my mouth hanging open, in shock that Ted would ask that question of me. Both those questions.

  And, while I could confess everything right then, something inside me went the extreme opposite, and I defended Caleb. Later, I would blame it on his memory of my allergies and all the wine. I was feeling sentimental.

  “No, Caleb didn’t offer to buy a bigger house in exchange for me playing his girlfriend. We really are dating. In fact, we’re looking at a house to buy together because we’re actually talking about marriage.”

  The minute it left my mouth, I realized I’d said the wrong thing.

  Mary gasped, and her hands flew to her mouth. She grinned, and a tear slid down her face. “I’m so happy,” she said when she finally pulled her hands away.

  “What’s going on?” Caleb said when he entered the room.

  Mary ran over to him and flung her arms around him. “You’ve made my week, Caleb.”

  Caleb looked at
me, but his whole body was jarred when Ted slapped him on the back.

  “Congratulations, son.”

  Caleb’s eyes brightened. “Does this mean you’re going to let me buy the store?”

  Ted laughed and wagged his finger. “I’m still thinking about that. No, I’m talking about your other news. Sloan just told us.”

  Caleb’s eyes flew to mine. “What did she tell you?”

  “That you’re engaged,” Ted said.

  “We’re so happy for you,” Mary said.

  I picked up my glass of wine and tried to bury my face in it.

  Seven

  Caleb

  I waited for about ten seconds after we drove away from Ted and Mary’s before I shouted, “Engaged! What in the hell were you thinking?”

  Sloan shrugged like it was no big deal. “I could see that Ted didn’t believe you. I had to say something. And what I actually said was that we were talking about getting married. Ted and Mary were the ones who spun it into an engagement. As you can see, it’s not totally my fault.”

  “Damn it, Sloan. It doesn’t matter that you didn’t come out and say the word engaged. You just made this situation way more complicated. I was going to tell Ted we broke up a few months from now. But, now, when I tell him we broke off our engagement, he’s never going to believe that we were actually together.” I narrowed my eyes. “Is that why you made up the lie? So that I’d get caught?”

  She patted my hand. “Relax, Caleb. We’ll find some excuse as to why we broke it off.” She leaned forward. “Hey, I know. We could tell him that you cheated on me.”

  I gave her a dirty look. “I don’t cheat. Ever. And I certainly wouldn’t cheat on the woman I loved and asked to spend the rest of my life with me.”

  She blew out a breath and sat back in her seat. “Maybe you got cold feet, and cheating was a way to end it.”

  “No way. Cheating is a hard no.”

  I’d been cheated on in high school, and I still remembered the awful feeling of finding out. I’d sworn, I would never do that to anyone, and I hadn’t. And I wasn’t about to start now. Real or fake relationship.

  I smirked. “I know. Why don’t we say that you cheated on me?”

  Sloan scoffed. “I would never.”

  “Oh, so it’s okay for me to be a cheater but not you?”

  She stuck her nose in the air. “Men are notorious cheaters. It just makes sense it would be you.”

  “You sound like you’re speaking from experience rather than cold, hard facts.”

  “Forget it.” She crossed her arms across her chest. “No cheating by either of us.” She dropped her arms. “Speaking of, does that mean no dating while this whole fake relationship is going on? Because, if someone saw you with another girl, it could ruin your plans.”

  “Same for you. Are you worried you can’t keep it in your pants?”

  She gasped. “How rude. I have no problem with keeping it in my pants. If you knew how long I’d already been going without sex, you’d be amazed.”

  “More like horrified,” I said and made a mental note to find out how long it had been for her. I was curious, but at the moment, I was still more angry than interested in her celibacy. “How did we get engaged anyway?”

  “I don’t know. I’m guessing you got down on one knee.”

  “No, not how did we get fake engaged. How did it come about tonight that you told them we were getting married?”

  “Oh. I told Ted I was in real estate, and he figured out I was your realtor. Then, he asked if you had offered to buy a bigger house from me in exchange for me playing your girlfriend. I was insulted that he thought you would bribe me and that I would go along with it—”

  “Blackmail’s okay, but bribery is a no-go,” I interrupted with sarcasm.

  “You blackmailed me. It’s not the same as me accepting a bribe.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Anyway, as I was saying, I was insulted, so I told him we were talking about marriage and looking for a house together.”

  I put my finger up. “Repeat that last part.”

  “He thought you were bribing me. It was insulting.”

  “After that.”

  “I told him we were thinking about marriage,” she said, confusion in her tone.

  I took a deep breath. “You told him we were talking about marriage and what else?”

  I looked over at Sloan, and I could see she’d finally figured out what I was asking. She suddenly looked guilty.

  “I told him we were buying a house together.”

  The light in front of me turned red, and I slammed on my brakes. “What the actual fuck?” I slowly looked over at Sloan. “Now, we’re buying a house together, too?”

  She shrugged. “You need to relax.”

  I didn’t think this girl could have dug a deeper hole if she’d tried. The light turned green, and I accelerated. There was one thing she could have mentioned, I realized.

  “Why didn’t you just tell him you were pregnant, too, while you were at it?”

  Her jaw dropped. “I was drinking.”

  “I could have told Ted and Mary that you were an alcoholic and trying to quit.” An idea came to me. “Maybe that’s why I leave you. You can’t stay away from the sauce, and I leave your ass.”

  “I am not an alcoholic, and I would never drink while pregnant.” She pointed a finger at me. “And so help me, if you tell them that I am, I will reveal your secret. Jail or no jail.”

  Wow. She really meant that.

  I pushed her hand down. “Relax. Plenty of people are alcoholics. As long as they’re getting help and not hurting anybody, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It is a disease after all.”

  “I still refuse for that to be the reason we break it off,” she said, her voice firm.

  I could tell I’d really struck a nerve. “Okay, no alcoholism. For either of us.”

  She narrowed her eyes at me. “Promise?”

  “Yes, I promise.” I looked her up and down. “Maybe no more drinking when we’re on our dates. You get too emotional.”

  “You’re a jerk.”

  “You’re only proving my point,” I said. “Why can’t you be like most dates and want to have sex when you drink? It would be so much better than having you make up lies and threaten to reveal our secret.”

  She swung her head up and wrinkled her nose at me. “Ew. I don’t want to have sex with you.”

  “Yeah, well, I don’t really want to have sex with you right now either. In fact, I’m so stressed out that I’ll probably never get hard again.”

  Sloan’s eyes cut to the top of my pants.

  I quickly put my hand on top of dick. “What are you doing? You can’t look at my crotch.”

  It was a good thing I had a hand on my lap because Little Caleb liked Sloan looking, and he wanted to stand up and say hi.

  Down, asshole.

  Sloan laughed at my discomfort. “I guess I’m just thinking how much bullshit you fed me at the coffee shop today,” she said.

  I pulled in front of Sloan’s house and put my truck in park. “Bullshit?”

  “Yeah, about you having a big dick.”

  “Ah … that. I was lying,” I lied.

  Maybe Sloan was like other drunk people and did get horny when she drank. But I didn’t want to find out. I was stone-cold sober, and I wouldn’t take advantage of her like that.

  Besides, sleeping together would complicate things, and Sloan had done enough complicating tonight already.

  “I think you’re lying now,” she said in a husky voice with a sexy smile on her face.

  My oh shit meter began to ring.

  I leaned as far away from her as I could. “Think what you want. But my dick is little. Tiny. I shouldn’t even call it a dick; it’s so small.”

  “Are you sure about that?” she asked, a sly smile on her face.

  “Never been surer in my life.”

  Sloan lost her sexy look and grinned. She pulled out her phone, showed
me the screen, and hit stop on her voice recorder. “Now, I have something on you, too. I raise your blackmail for mine. I don’t want to do this anymore. All we do is fight. You get one more date, forget the other three, and we’ll come up with a good lie together about our breakup. Agree, or I’m posting this to social media.” She hit play, and my voice came out, telling her how small my dick was.

  I shook my head and chuckled. “You’re good; I’ll give you that. The thing is, I already told you that you’d put us in a real predicament tonight.” I shrugged. “And, well”—I reached out, grabbed her phone, and hit delete—“I just can’t let you leave me hanging like that. A deal’s a deal.” I hit record. “And I was lying about lying. My dick is huge.” I hit stop and threw the cell in her lap.

  “I hate you,” she said and kicked the passenger door open harder than necessary.

  “Right now, the feeling’s mutual, babe.”

  Eight

  Sloan

  I was still upset with Caleb when I woke up the next morning, although I tried not to be. He didn’t know about my cousin and her trouble with alcoholism. But then I remembered that he was the one who’d put me in the weird predicament of playing his girlfriend, and he didn’t deserve my sympathy. But I also had to admit, I had made everything worse by adding the engaged aspect and us buying a house together.

  Needless to say, when it came to Caleb, I had a lot of mixed feelings and emotions going on in my head, so for the rest of the weekend, I chose to pretend they didn’t exist.

  By Tuesday, I was calmer, and I’d decided two things. The better I threw myself into the girlfriend thing, the sooner we could do our five dates, and the closer I’d be to ending the whole charade. The other thing was, I needed to put some of my focus on the work aspect of our relationship. I was going to find the perfect house for Caleb, and he was going to buy it from me, damn it.

  The only problem was, I had no idea what area he wanted to live in or how much he wanted to spend.

  I pulled my phone off my desk and sent a text to Caleb.

  Me: How much are you looking to spend on a house? Where would you like to live?