Drive Thru Murder

by Colleen Mooney

  “On the house. You two class the place up,” he said. He reached over the bar and grabbed Hanky’s hand when she pushed her empty root beer bottle toward him. In a more menacing tone he added, “You two be careful on your way home.”

  Hanky practically sprinted out the bar. When we got to my house I figured she’d kick off the heels but instead, she kept them on and paced going over what she thought was going on. She had developed quite a swagger walking in them.

  “That guy makes my skin crawl,” she said. “He’s up to more than selling squares on that poster. When I get to the office, I’m going to run a background on him and see what else he has been up to. I’ll bet he has a ton of priors.”

  “Jiff, the one you call Mr. Hottie, and I went there one night and he had the same reaction to Sully.” I felt a tightening in my stomach. “You know, I really don’t like the fact that he lived here. I feel like I need to install an alarm or security cameras. Now I wonder why Sandra didn’t mention it to me. You would think she might have mentioned it to Suzanne last night when they went there together.”

  “I don’t think Sandra is playing with a full deck of Tarot cards,” Hanky said.

  “There’s more to that girl named Opal. Did you see his reaction when I said Sandra mentioned someone named Opal lived here? If he lived in our house then it had to be with Fara Theriot. She rented the house before we did and my landlord said she left suddenly.”

  “Well, I think I’ll run a background on all of them first thing tomorrow,” Hanky said and stretched out on the sofa. Jesus joined her.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The next morning when I woke for work, I knocked softly on Suzanne’s door and when I got no answer, I peeked in. No Suzanne, and the bed hadn’t been slept in. When I went downstairs to tell Hanky, she was already gone and I found a note she had left on the coffee table. It said, I really want to adopt this dog, with her cell phone number. Jesus was curled up on the sofa where Hanky had slept all night.

  I heard noise and commotion going on outside. It was seven o’clock on Monday morning and a truck spilling workmen had parked across the street in front of Sandra’s house.

  Men were setting up ladders, pulling tools off the truck and laying sections of wrought iron out on Sandra’s front lawn. By the time I got into my car at seven-thirty a.m. and headed to my office, they were busily installing handrails on the sides of her front steps. I didn’t ask, and I left for work hoping that they would finish before anyone else got up and questioned them. I had a good idea who sent these guys.

  Monday mornings are hectic with incoming calls and voicemail already full of messages when I arrived. After sorting through several calls and prioritizing the threat assessments of who needed my attention first, I found a few minutes to call my vet and get a reference on Hanky. I really thought this would be my out and excuse for not adopting to her, but instead I got a glowing report on all that she did, providing the best care for her old dog.

  On top of that, the vet told me she did every test and tried every remedy until they stopped working. The vet remembered Hanky had had a hard decision to make to let her former dog go, but she couldn’t let him suffer once his quality of life deteriorated. He remembered she had said ‘keeping him alive at that point was only being selfish.’ I thanked him and hung up, thinking Hanky just might be the best applicant I had ever had for one of my rescues.

  It was lunchtime when Jiff called asking if anything new was going on in my neighborhood. I told him about the handrail installation at Sandra’s. I was pretty sure he was responsible and if so, I would be eternally grateful to him forever and especially if the rails got me off the job of Sandra Wrangler.

  “I must confess, my motive is selfish, not noble. I want you to have more time to spend with me, not getting scratched up pulling your neighbor out of the bushes.”

  “You didn’t have to install handrails on my nutty neighbor’s house to get me to do that. I think I should properly thank you for your thoughtfulness to me and I’m happy to thank you on Sandra’s behalf as well,” I said.

  “Well, then, do you want to grab a quick dinner with me tonight? I can pick you up at seven o’clock and make it an early night since we both have work tomorrow,” he said.

  “I can’t tonight, my Dad just called and wants me to come over for dinner. I’d ask you to join me, but there’s a lot of drama over there right now and I don’t want to subject you to it. I don’t want to subject myself either, but I have no choice. According to my Dad, it seems my sister is hormonal over the baby and the wedding while my mother is just mental. I have a feeling it’s going to get worse before it gets better. What about tomorrow night? We can make it an early dinner,” I said.

  “It’s a date. I’ll miss you like crazy tonight,” he said and we hung up.

  The dating gods were smiling on me because I had made the right call not to bring Jiff along with me to my parents’ for dinner.

  When I pulled up in front of my house, I had just enough time to run in, let the dogs out, feed them and head to my parents’ house for the heartburn and indigestion I was sure would be on the menu.

  I noticed Sandra on her porch waving both arms wildly to get my attention as I headed to my car. I tapped my watch on my wrist demonstratively to indicate I was in a hurry. She started doing the two-arm pull like the traffic cops do directing cars through an intersection. After a big exhale knowing this would make me late, I scurried over. “I’m in a hurry to get some place,” I said to Sandra. I tapped my watch again hoping she got the message. I didn’t want to answer any questions over the handrails.

  “Look at these new rails on my front steps.”

  “I could see them from my house across the street.” I turned to go.

  “Did you see who put them up?” Sandra asked me walking down to meet me and watching her hands as she ran them along the wrought iron. It was obvious she had lusted after handrails for quite some time.

  “I saw men working on them this morning when I left for the office. They look nice and I think they’ll be useful to you,” I said. “I’m kinda in a hurry…”

  “I thought maybe someone who won the hedge fund at the bar put them up,” she said. “Sully won’t like this. This is going to mess up his lottery.”

  I thought it best to keep this secret regarding the handrails between Jiff and me, so I just shrugged my shoulders.

  “People will always find something to gamble on. I wouldn’t worry too much about it,” I said trying to break off the conversation and get back to my car.

  “I’d like to thank whoever did it. Maybe it was Suzanne. We had drinks at the bar one night on our way home. She said she would put up rails on my house if she won. Sully said that was funny because you said the same thing the night you went there.”

  “Well, I can tell you it definitely was not me, or Suzanne,” I said.

  “I didn’t know you knew Sully,” she said.

  “Small world.” I added, “Yeah, I had a couple of free drink coupons left on my door right after I moved in and went there with a friend.” I was about to turn back across the street toward my car. I didn’t want to appear rude. “It was before we met or I would’ve asked you to go with me,” I said hoping that would be the end of it. “I’m going to be late to dinner at my parents. I’ve got to run.”

  “He gave you free drink coupons? I didn’t know he did that either.” she said, looking confused as she contemplated this for about a second. I hoped I’d make my getaway before she went on. “Anyway, these handrails will probably keep me from breaking my neck one of these days. I wonder if that cashier from CluckIt won the lottery? One night at the bar he said he’d put handrails on my house too—if he ever won Sully’s lottery. I guess a lot of people wanted to see handrails on my house. Sully always said it would ruin the architectural appeal if anyone added them.”

  I stopped in my tracks. “The cashier that worked at CluckIt went to Sully’s bar?”

  “Yeah, I met a guy who worked a
s the drive-thru cashier at CluckIt one night in Sully’s bar. I used to see him there sometimes whenever I stopped in after I left the French Quarter. He worked a late shift so I guess that’s why I used to see him there. He was a big flirt, even asked me out a few times.” she said. “Small world, huh?”

  “What was his name?” There was a tight feeling in my throat and my voice sounded strange to me, but Sandra was distracted with her new handrails I didn’t think she noticed the change in me.

  “Charles. Charles…something, I don’t remember his last name. Oh, and he had a nickname people called him after some wine he drank,” she said. She continued to caress the handrails by sliding her hand over the bannister segments and not paying too much attention to me when she answered my questions.

  “When is the last time you saw that guy?” I asked and my palms were damp with sweat and my knees were weak. I was holding onto the handrails now and grateful for them.

  “Oh, I don’t know. I think it was a couple of weeks ago at Sully’s. I stopped there after work when I was taking the streetcar home, you know, before Suzanne and I started sharing a cab. He was there waiting for me. He said he came there so he could buy me a drink.”

  “Did he tell you about any of the other workers at CluckIt? Did he date anyone from there?”

  “I sort of knew the workers at the drive-thru window from when I had the car. I used to stop there on the way home after my second job to grab a bite to eat. I didn’t know their names. There was a guy, well he was a guy, everyone knew he was a guy but he dressed and acted like a woman. Charles said that one had the hots for him, but he never dated her…him… you know.”

  “Why didn’t you go out with him, with Charles?” I asked.

  “Sully told me he bats for both teams, and there’s enough competition with just women and any hetero guy you date. I don’t want to compete with everyone.”

  “Good point. Maybe Sully just said that because he likes you and didn’t want some other guy moving in on you,” I said.

  “No, Sully was right. I saw him once in a CluckIt uniform dress when I still had my car. I went in the drive-thru late one night, and I think he saw me, but he acted like he didn’t. He had on a wig, makeup, everything. That turned me off. I haven’t seen him in a while. Maybe he did win the lottery, put up the handrails for me and bought himself a car.”

  “Maybe he did,” I said, thinking Sandra had Sully’s hedge fund confused with the Louisiana Lottery or Mega Millions. “Look, I’m meeting someone for dinner. Enjoy your new handrails,” I said. “Oh, one more thing. Didn’t you go to the bar the other night with Suzanne? She said she was going to check it out.”

  “Yeah, we went there for a drink. She didn’t stay long.”

  “Did you leave together?” I asked and my voice was a little shaky.

  “Yeah. Sully sent us home in a cab.” Sandra was now climbing the stairs in the middle with a hand gliding along the railing as if she was stroking a fine piece of woodwork.

  “Oh, yeah, you said you stopped at CluckIt after your second job? But weren’t you on your way home from the French Quarter and the palm reading job? I thought your second job was the phone, uh, work?” I said.

  “I started reading palms to pick-up extra cash. I’ve always done the phone sex job,” she said.

  I left Sandra alone with her handrails.

  I knew I should call Dante, but I decided to call Hanky instead on my way to my parents’ house. Bringing Dante up to speed on all this was going to take time and make me late for dinner. Had I known the disaster this evening was going to dissolve into once I got there, I would have called him. Instead, I thought I’d accomplish two things with one phone call.

  “Hanky, I only have a sec,” I said as soon as she answered.

  “Who is this and how did you get this number?” she asked.

  “It’s Brandy. You put your cell number on the note and application for Jesus, remember?”

  “Oh, right. What is it? I can have Jesus?”

  “Yes, you can adopt Jesus, but I need you to tell Dante that Sandra’s home. I just saw her and she knew the guy murdered at CluckIt She used to meet him at Sully’s bar.”

  “Call him on his cell.” she said. When I paused a little too long, she added, “I knew it. You two are fighting if you’re calling me instead of him.”

  “Look, I had to call you anyway over your application, and I’m in a hurry to get somewhere. Please, Hanky, just tell him, okay?”

  “All right. I will,” Hanky said.

  “And tell him Sandra knew Charles Ballon, the one that was kidnapped from CluckIt, and later found floating in the lake. He used to go to Sully’s bar, the same one we went to last night. Her second job is the palm reader not the phone sex, which means she’s known the bartender for quite some time,” I added.

  “Anything else?” Hanky was being less abrasive than usual since she wanted to adopt Jesus.

  “Well, can you pull those phone records? Look to see if he called Sandra on that phone sex line. Can you get the phone company to give you what number is called or how those calls are forwarded to her and where they originate from? Where that number originates before she gets it is the key.”

  “Is that all I can do for you, Ms. Alexander?” Hanky was back to being Hanky.

  “Oh, and Suzanne didn’t come home last night. I spoke to her yesterday. The night before, she had gone to the same bar we did. Then, yesterday when I was on the phone with her, Sully came by to return some sweater she didn’t leave there. I’m worried, and I hate to ask, but….”

  “I’ll put in a call to the local hospitals and see if she was picked up anywhere.”

  “Thank you. Can I call you in an hour if I remember anything else?”

  “Okay, okay. Dante’s out taking an early dinner break. I’ll get the cat lady’s phone records. When he gets back I’ll have him call you. Oh, and do you mind, or do you have some rescue rule that says I can’t change Jesus’ name after I adopt him?”

  “No, there’s no rescue rule unless I see he responds to a name he’s had for a while. I don’t know the name he had, or I’d tell you. After he’s your dog you can name him whatever you want. I only refer to him as Jesus in my mind, or with others, I don’t use any name when I talk to him. Just love him and he’ll come to you no matter what name you call him.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  When I arrived at my parents’ house, I let myself in, surprised my mother hadn’t changed the locks after I moved out since she told anyone who would listen I was responsible for all the woes the family ever had. I was feeling antsy over the exchange with Sandra and I still had to talk to Dante. I felt like I should be out looking for Suzanne, but I had no idea where to start. I had a lot of anxiety rapidly collecting and I was going to explode if I didn’t do something with all this constrained energy.

  The comforting aroma of Woozie’s meatloaf was in heavy competition with the feeling of having the Titanic’s anchor around my neck, and I hadn’t even seen my mother or sister yet.

  My dad was in the living room in his recliner, fully extended and a slight snore was coming from his direction. One of the Deedler twins, I’m guessing the future groom, was sitting on the sofa looking terrified to make a sound for fear he would wake my dad. I waved hello and he returned the silent greeting. I went to my dad’s Lazy Boy where he was reclining in the full laid-out position. I pushed the foot part down hard so it slammed him into an upright sitting position.

  “What the hell…” Dad said as his eyes popped open.

  “He did it,” I said pointing at the twin on the sofa. “Hi Dad.” I kissed him on the cheek and ran off to the kitchen to see Woozie, following the smell of meat loaf wafting in the air.

  When I walked through the dining room I noticed there was an extra place setting at the dining room table and all my mother’s ceramic projects usually in residence had been moved somewhere out of sight.

  “Woozie, what up?” I lifted the tops off the pots on the st
ove peeking at what she was cooking. “Ooooo, is this your crawfish etouffee? Yum.”

  “Dats it. I berled the crawfish my own self. Your daddy doesn’t like the way they berls them at the seafood place so he gets a sack of live ones so I can do it. I use Zatarain’s. I just made dat and it needs to sit overnight. I’ll put some in a plastic box for you to take home, but don’t eat it ’til tomorrow.”

  “Yes, but when you boil them, I bet you add some of your own mix in there too.” I took a deep sniff. Woozie was always very pleased when we appreciated her cooking. She was the best.

  “Quit messing with dem pots and Lawd, don’t let your momma hear you saying dat—what up?—she gonna think all those years in Catholic high school and four years of dat Catholic college you been to be wasted. All her talk ’bout you since you moved out been how you make a bad example of yourself for your sister. She still saying no respectable woman lives alone if they not married. Wha’ da matter wit’ her? I can’t have her blaming you for one more thing when you ain’t even here, else or I’m gonna have to set her straight and dat won’t be pretty,” she said as she pulled tray after tray of food from the oven.

  “My mother will figure a way to blame me for whatever goes wrong,” I said, “even when I’m not here. Don’t worry about her.” I kissed her on the cheek when she bent down to pull something else out of the oven.

  Woozie was a giant grisly-bear of a woman, with a heart to match where I was concerned. I broke off a chunk of warm French bread coming out of the oven and stuffed it in my mouth.

  “Be careful around your momma. She actin’ peculiar since the baby news, and now she all wrapped around Sherry wedding. You think she be the one pregnant and getting married.”

  “Oh, I’m sure she’s all wrapped around having a wedding for Sherry. So, who’s staying for dinner? The twin? Where’s Sherry?” I asked.

  “Oh, the twin been living here in your old room until dem two get a place of they own,” Woozie said.