The Recluse

by D A Rice

  Rei and Damion didn’t bother correcting him about this not being a date. They were both still contemplating the stranger they had seen and what his presence meant for them now. Jackson spoke, “I understand that you two frequent this café a lot. Did you guys notice anyone in here, when you came in, that didn’t look like they belonged? Maybe someone who was doing something odd on the computers?”

  Damion gave her the side-eye as she shook her head thoughtfully. “Not really, I mean we just got here before you guys did,” she waved her empty spoon to indicate the officers who had since joined him. One was kneeling in front of a computer with a smaller device in her hands; the rest were interviewing people and dusting for prints all around them in a furious wave of activity. When Rei glanced at Damion, his eyebrow raised as he took his own bite of ice cream. He otherwise didn’t react to her lack of mentioning the golden-eyed man.

  “Yeah, we definitely didn’t have enough time to scope the place out before you got here. All in all, though, I didn’t see anything worth reporting,” Damion shrugged and Rei bit back a smile. He was following her lead. She did not doubt that an interrogation from him would come later. She wasn’t sure why she felt the need not to mention their previous encounter. She just knew what her heart was telling her now, and that was to protect this stranger. She couldn’t be sure about much else going on in there, but for some reason, she was sure about this.

  Besides, she couldn’t be certain if golden eyes was who they were looking for. Maybe, like them, he’d simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

  The detective looked defeated as he glanced behind them, distracted, “well, I had to ask.” He shut his notebook before leaning on his arms across the table, steepling his fingers thoughtfully. His eyes glazed in concentration. “The timing is off,” he said quietly to himself, tapping his fingers together before sighing in resignation. Standing with a smile and shaking off the faraway look he nodded to them, keeping his thoughts to himself. “If you do think of anything,” he pulled something from his jacket, holding it out to them between two fingers. A business card. “Give me a call.”

  Rei took the card and set it on the table near her ice cream as she scooped more into her spoon. “I’m sorry we couldn’t be of more help,” she said almost shyly, glancing down at the card he had given her.

  Detective Jackson offered her a warm smile, “it was a long shot anyway. I didn’t expect him to have been here for you two to see, but thank you for your time.” He nodded politely and turned away to bark orders at his team. The officer with the device had set it down and was in the process of dismantling one of the towers from the rest.

  Rei let loose a breath before sticking her spoon into her mouth. The timing had been close. If they had gotten there any sooner, Rei had a feeling the detective would have caught them in their lie. He might have even had a reason to detain them if his window of arrival had been closer to the crime committed. She now understood what the detective had meant about timing

  Damion was watching her but didn’t say anything about what they were both likely thinking. Instead, he smiled, holding out a spoon of ice cream to her, “to our ‘date’!”

  Rei laughed before toasting his spoon with her own, “our date.”

  Rei couldn’t sleep. Damion had left her long ago. He had asked her what she was thinking, but he had not judged her decision to hide their encounter with the golden-eyed stranger. After she’d promised to call her psychiatrist in the morning, he’d left her to go home, taking the detective’s card with him. He had a job; she didn’t. Her dad provided her apartment, spending money for things she needed, school, and paid for her psychiatrist. She guessed her dad didn’t want her to have to worry about more than the migraines and the voices that plagued her.

  She knew her dad loved her, even if he didn’t know how to handle the voices in her head any more than she did. Rei sighed and pulled her navy blue coat back on. She knew walking the streets this late could be dangerous, but she was feeling claustrophobic. The last thing she wanted to think about tonight was her damaged mind.

  Pulling her fur-lined hood up to cover her face, she made her way out of the building. With a nod towards her ever-vigilant doorman , she turned the opposite way from the café. The stranger’s golden eyes popped into her mind again as she walked. Why was that the only thing about him that she could remember so vividly? Rei knew his hood had hidden his face, but she felt as if she should have remembered more details about it.

  She sighed. It didn’t matter anyway. She would probably never see him again. Rei shivered remembering how cold it had been when he had pulled away from her. What was with that? She wondered, then shrugged it off. With the way her mind worked, chances are she had imagined the warmth in the first place. Not, she thought, that she imagined everything she saw.

  After years of therapy, she was beginning to think that maybe her mind wasn’t as broken as she had been led to believe. She couldn’t explain where the doubts about her sanity came from, just that even now her heart rebelled against her mind. Could her mind be something more than broken?

  Rei laughed at that thought. Of course it wasn’t. Seeing demons wasn’t normal. Seeing demons wasn’t ‘something more’. Logic dictated that all those medical reasons provided by her psychiatrist for her misbehaving mind were on point. Maybe Dr. Heek had been right to give her those drugs. But they messed with her so much when Rei took them that her brain was mush. She became more unaware of her surroundings than the hallucinations that tended to bend the reality around her.

  Going to school would be a waste. Dr. Heek said her body would adjust, but Rei couldn’t do it anymore. So, she had tossed the pills down the drain and turned on the water to wash them down. They would have worked better if she didn’t have goals of her own. It was her own determination to get her teaching degree that drove her to dump them. She also hated losing herself to the numbness of the medications. Rei felt like she lost time. She couldn’t always remember what happened, and that scared her more than the demons did.

  Rei knew her drugs could fix chemical imbalances. It wasn’t that she was trying to prove science wrong or anything, but her decision was resolute. Maybe she could talk to Dr. Heek more about them. Maybe he could find a different cocktail. Maybe she shouldn’t have just poured them down the drain.

  But the decision was already made in her mind. Would her psychiatrist tell her if he noticed that she wasn’t taking them as Damion had? She was considered functional. If she weren’t, she would be living with her dad by law in his penthouse apartment across the city. She couldn’t help but be afraid of what Dr. Heek would try to implement if he knew what she’d done. She loved her dad, but she loved her independence more.

  Blinking, Rei stopped walking. Lost in her thoughts, she found she had wandered into an older-looking neighborhood that she didn’t recognize. She looked back, confused. When had she turned down a different street? She cringed on the inside. Getting lost this late at night was not a good idea. Glancing around, her eyes settled on a church. I’ve heard of this church, she thought in recognition. It was a makeshift shelter for the homeless at night, and its name had been long since forgotten.

  Other than the homeless who made it theirs, it was more or less abandoned property. However, it looked from the outside as if someone had taken steps to put some love back into the old building. At least, it looked relatively safe to inhabit from where she stood. If Rei remembered correctly, whoever now privately owned the church would sometimes pay the homeless who lived within to help with its reconstruction. It hadn’t been going on long. Only about six months; long enough that, with the Recluse in town, the church was now page six news.

  Pulling her jacket closer around her, Rei strode to the old building. She knew the homeless inside would most likely leave her alone if she showed the same courtesy. It would be safer inside than wandering the streets aimlessly at midnight to find her way back. Pulling open the door, Rei stepped inside and gently closed it behind her. Besides,
she didn’t have anything worth mugging her for anyway, and she didn’t want to consider anything worse.

  The first thing that hit her as she picked her way through the dusty interior of the church was the smell. The second was the beds strewn all over the floor where pews should have been, and the forms she could make out in them. Some of the people inside snored loudly; others were breathing just as heavily. Their bodies lay barely visible in the shadows as the moonlight filtered in through stained-glass windows above.

  The owner had not only rebuilt much of the church, but had outfitted it to shelter as many of the homeless as it could. Even the cops left this place alone. During the day, she had heard that a soup kitchen was set up and run by volunteers. They didn’t stay the night, just left the doors open for those who needed it, making the church always accessible. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

  Rei sighed as she continued through the building. She picked her way across and into a back room, past the altar at the back of the church. The door was open and looked clear of bodies. She sagged against the wall inside the small room. At least she had some idea how far she had gone from her apartment now. But she knew there was no way she could find her way back in the dark. She would have to hide here until dawn at the least. Could she sleep in this small room? She glanced toward the sanctuary. As her eyes travelled back, they caught on something hung underneath the small window, making her straighten in her curiosity.

  She stepped in front of the photo, tilting her head. It was of a wall with ancient red brick. How odd, she thought but found herself raising a hand to caress it gently. When her fingers grazed the glass, she jerked as a fiery sensation rose up her arm. Widening her eyes, she dropped her hand immediately. What was that?

  “It’s the Western Wall,” a soft voice said behind her making her jump as she turned. A man stood there. He was around her age if she had to guess, but he was covered in too much shadow for her to know for sure. He leaned against the door frame with his arms crossed. Squinting as her eyes adjusted to the moonlight, she gasped in recognition as he took a step into the room. He gestured towards the photo nonchalantly.

  “This church was known for being a proud supporter of Israel before it was abandoned and forgotten. Ironic considering how many abandoned churches get fought over in this city. This one just got left behind, I suppose, and so did that photo.” His golden eyes met her gaze, and he grinned at the spark of recognition that lit them, her mouth agape in speechless wonder.

  She found her voice, “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude.”

  He laughed lightly, moving to stand beside her as she turned away from him, blushing. He is rather handsome, she thought now that she could see more of his face without the hood. He had a strong jawline and high cheekbones. She could also see some scarring that started just below his lightly whiskered jaw. While her curiosity was piqued, she didn’t ask where he got them from.

  Her eyes turned back towards the photo in front of them. There wasn’t a lot of light in this room, most of it came from the moon that filtered in at an angle. The window there was above clusters of stuff piled against the wall, casting odd shadows here and there. “This is a place for everyone; you can’t intrude on it. Wasn’t that kind of the point of churches?” The man beside her asked after a moment.

  She smiled, “I suppose you’re right. I hadn’t thought of that.”

  “Besides,” he started, his hands in his hoodie pocket again. When he moved, Rei could barely see tattoos crawling up his neck, complimenting the scars she had seen earlier. Again her curiosity was piqued; again she didn’t ask. “I’m the one who ran you over earlier,” he continued, pulling her from her thoughts.

  She looked at him as he stared ahead. His eyes-- what was it about those golden eyes? They looked so sad, even with his smile. “My friend could have been nicer to you,” she replied.

  Her head buzzed lightly in warning, a familiar pressure building behind her eyes. No, she thought, pushing back mentally. Rei shook her head as if to shake off the breakdown she knew was coming. No, I won’t let you pull me into this now, she thought. She turned again toward the photo of the Western Wall, trying to act as normal as she could. “How did you know I was in here? Was I that loud?”

  He glanced at her. “Not at all. I could see you from the roof.” He nodded above them.

  She jerked in surprise, turning back to him, psychosis momentarily forgotten. “The roof?”

  He shrugged, “I like to lay on the roof of this place and just listen.” His voice quieted. “It gives me a semblance of peace.”

  She watched him until his hawk-like eyes met hers and the buzzing started again. She rubbed her head, the heat building, “I should probably find my way home.” She could feel herself stuttering, trying desperately not to let on that anything was wrong. The last thing she wanted was for him to know she had mental issues.

  Most people who had schizophrenia couldn’t tell when they were hallucinating, as caught inside their heads as they were. Rei always had a warning trigger, and it always started like this, with immense pain. Her psychiatrist chalked it up to every brain being different and handling things in different ways. She was grateful for the warning; without the pain, she wouldn’t be as functional as she was.

  Rei had learned to cope with her hallucinations, but there were times when even she doubted her reality. It only took one small doubt to increase the anxiety her brain produced with every debilitating attack on her mind.

  The man in front of her raised an eyebrow as he watched her. “Find?” he asked, bringing the conversation back to her last statement. Rei wanted to believe this man was real. She desperately needed him to be. Rei took comfort in the fact that Damion had seen him earlier. Usually, she didn’t make up people, only grotesque demons, but that would not help her now.

  Rei smiled sheepishly, “I may not have been paying attention when I went for a walk earlier.”

  He laughed, “ah, trying to find your own peace, huh?”

  She rubbed her head again, distractedly, mentally cursing herself for losing this battle in her mind. If she was going to have a full-blown attack, there was no way she was going to make it home, even in daylight. What was she going to do? Could she trust the man in front of her? She wouldn’t have much of a choice soon.

  His eyes narrowed in concern as he studied her closer, “are you ok?” His hand came up as if expecting her to collapse at any moment. Rei swayed as if to prove him right. One of her hands came up to balance on the wall; the other covered her eyes. Rei couldn’t see much of him under her clenched fingers, but he seemed to be studying her. “Also, has anyone told you, you have the bluest eyes?” his voice was teasing, and yet full of knowledge. It was almost as if he had known she would be there tonight. As if he had known she would need his help and had come down off the roof to provide just that. Then again, Rei couldn’t trust anything she was thinking right now. How could he know? Logic said he couldn’t.

  She looked at him in bewilderment as his words landed next. Was he trying to distract her from her mind with that last statement? The doubts about him only increased with the pain. “I’ve been told,” she finally replied to him, so softly she wasn’t even sure he had heard her. That was when the voices and demons exploded, and the pain became overwhelmingly unbearable. She whimpered.

  He stepped forward quickly, catching her as she started to slide to the floor. Gripping her shoulders to keep her upright, he studied her. “Hey, what’s your name? You never told me.”

  “It hurts,” she could hear her voice getting softer as her focus wavered. Her breathing began to labor. The voices were everywhere, and her eyes were burning in a rage. Her palms pressed into them, trying to relieve the pressure. There will be no stopping the torrent tonight, she thought with dismay. She felt the stranger beside her steady his stance as he moved his arms, holding her up like she weighed nothing. His presence was all around her, almost as thick as the demons she could see sharing their space.

 
Suddenly his hands were on hers, gently pulling them away from her face as he dipped his head to look at her in a childlike way. Her eyes squinted, then snapped back shut with the pain that followed. “I kinda get that sense,” his cool forehead pressed against her sweating one as he spoke to her. His voice dripped with kindness and concern. “Focus on me. Tell me your name.” His thumbs massaged her palms, coaxing them into a steady calm even as they sweated and shivered with the rest of her.

  “Rei,” She bit out between breaths.

  “Good. My name is Eli, ok?” He spoke close enough for her to hear his coaxing voice over the chaos in her head. When she risked trying to open an eye, she almost panicked. His look was so sincere, as if he could see the chaos of her mind and wasn’t about to judge it. The thought that he knew more than he let on whispered across her mind again.

  He was so calm the thought that he may not be real at all challenged her once more. She pulled her hands away from him, burying them into her eyes as the burning only increased. She felt his arm go around her back, then another under her knees. Then she was swept up into his arms completely. He carried her out of the room through the back door she hadn’t seen before, and barely acknowledged now. He held her close, moving swiftly. “Hang on Rei,” he whispered into her ear, “I’ve got you.”

  That was the last thing that Rei remembered. She would have to trust that she wasn’t alone. She would have to trust that Eli was real and as kind as he seemed to be. She couldn’t deal with him right now.

  She was too trapped in her mind to do anything.

  …

  Eli moved up the stairs as Rei’s pain bore into him. He could sense it with every fiber of his being. His footsteps were soft as his predictive hearing kicked in. His mind touched hers. He knew then that the pain and the visions weren’t her fault, just as he also knew she had been convinced they were. He’d learned to trust that predictive instinct. It was something that was alive, something beyond himself. As he’d lived most of his life on the run, he’d had no other choice.