A Lady's Past

by A. S. Fenichel

  When she touched his cheek, he kissed her palm. The sensation of his lips was as filled with delight as their first kiss. “I don’t know what to do, Jacques.”

  His warm smile sent sparks through her. “May I make love with you, Diana?”

  “Please.” It was the only word she could push out through her emotion-clogged throat.

  Despite expecting pain and perhaps shame, she wanted to give herself to this wonderful, loving man. It was the least she could do. Closing her eyes, she waited.

  When nothing happened, she peeked out of one eye.

  Propped on one elbow, Jacques frowned down at her. “You look as if I will murder you.”

  “It’s all right, Jacques. I can endure the pain to give you pleasure.”

  In a flash, she was under him.

  She gasped, then stilled and braced herself.

  He remained perched on his elbows with his pelvis pressed to hers. The thick base of his shaft nudged at her folds. “Diana, I will not hurt you. I will never hurt you. It would be nice if you could forget everything about your earlier encounter. While that was sex, it was not lovemaking.”

  Try as she might, she couldn’t fathom what he meant. The act was unpleasant, but what they had done before made it worth it and she wanted him to have the same pleasure he’d given her.

  The more she tried to relax the tighter her muscles became. When Jacques rolled away, she missed his weight.

  He aligned his body to hers again and caressed her from breast to belly. “I think we shall try something else.”

  “I’m sorry. I know I’m not good at this. It’s only the pain and embarrassment. I promise it will be all right.” She rolled to face him. He was so beautiful with the firelight shining on his skin. She touched the smattering of hair on his chest, hoping that giving herself would keep him from abandoning her.

  “Diana, you are all I have thought about for months. This moment is one in thousands of moments we will share. It is not the beginning and the end. It is pleasure, not pain. I just need you to trust me.”

  “I do trust you.” How could he think she didn’t? She was making a mess of everything.

  His lips touched hers and thinking became harder. Keeping her wits about her stopped being as important when his tongue mingled with hers. Wet, warm delight started that now-familiar tightening low in her abdomen.

  Moaning and gasping filled the room, and Diana had a vague notion that those sounds were coming from her as Jacques’s fingers slid between her thighs. She bucked and pressed against the delight he recreated. The rapturous pull edged closer.

  Jacques’s weight shifted, and he pressed her thighs farther apart. Their hips met, and his fingers were replaced by firm pressure. “Diana, look at me.”

  She opened her eyes.

  Intense desire filled those dark eyes.

  Her core tightened, wanting him to fill her. There was no pain as she lifted her hips to take him.

  He stilled while her body adjusted to the fullness. Pleasure spread from where their bodies connected. Nothing had prepared her for the sense of completion. Together they made something perfect. Heart pounding, she relaxed and brought him in deeper.

  Jacques moaned and closed his eyes but didn’t move.

  Pulling her hips back created another wave of delight. She arched her hips off the mattress, taking him in again. With a mind of its own, her body pulled him in and released him over and over.

  “Diana, you are too wonderful for words.” He met her thrust with his own, changing the tempo.

  There was nothing but Jacques and her as the world slipped away. Ecstasy bloomed in a slow rise. Then she tumbled over the edge.

  Jacques’s thrusts intensified, drawing out her pleasure. Deep and warm, his seed spilled, and he collapsed on his elbows.

  It was the most beautiful moment Diana had ever experienced. She wrapped her arms around his back and pulled him down on her.

  Rolling to one side, he took her with him.

  When he slid out of her, she missed the fullness, but exhaustion and satisfaction were too intense to complain. “Is that normal?”

  He smiled against her forehead. “It is for us, goddess.”

  “Will you leave me now?” She’d meant for the night, but also forever. He might love her, but the good sense of Middleton’s warning would eventually hit him. At least she would have a beautiful memory to hold on to.

  “I will never leave you, but I will have to go back to my own bed before the servants wake.” He kissed her nose. “Sleep, Diana.”

  As if his words held some magic and his arms were her perfect blanket, sleep took her into its warm embrace.

  Chapter 17

  The weather had forced them inside for days. Diana missed the walks with Jacques, even if they were a vain attempt to draw Victor out of hiding. It had been weeks, and no one had seen any sign of the French spy. Perhaps he had come to his senses and returned to France, though she doubted it. His obsession with her was far too strong.

  It was the first day with low winds and sunshine since before Christmas, so when Jacques asked if she’d like to take a walk in the garden, Diana jumped at the chance to be out of the castle.

  They informed Alex they were going to walk the gardens, donned warm clothes, and Diana took his arm.

  “Is it too cold for you, Diana?”

  So many thoughts scrambled around in her head. She’d almost not heard his question. “No. I like the cold. It reminds me we’re still alive.”

  The snow-covered path wound around the outside of the larger garden. Unlike Mrs. Fallcraft’s garden, the castle gardens were not walled. They spread out and merged into the surrounding hillside and woods. They managed the six inches of snow without issue.

  “You are very quiet.”

  “Just thinking about what I will do when this is all over.” She stared at her feet, hiding her worry with the hood of her cloak.

  The formal gardens ended, but she followed Jacques along the path through a grove of evergreens.

  “What would you like to do when you have your freedom?”

  There it was. He would go about his life and she hers. He would take care of his parents and find a nice mistress and she would make some life for herself. “I enjoyed working with Mr. Edgebrook.”

  “Then you should continue to do so.”

  The tree in front of them rustled.

  “I do not see that as a possibility.” Victor Caron stepped around the tree. He pointed a pistol at them and had a sword and dagger strapped to his waist. His tattered clothes indicated he’d had a difficult few weeks waiting for this opportunity. His wide stare spoke of insanity beyond what she already knew of him.

  Diana’s heart pounded. She couldn’t let Victor harm Jacques. No harm could ever come to the man who’d saved her in so many ways.

  Jacques stepped forward, forcing Victor to shift his aim toward him. “You are a fool, Caron. You should have fled for France as soon as you could. Now you will hang. Why would you remain in England when it was clear you had no options here?”

  Victor’s maniacal laugh sent a chill up Diana’s spine. He said, “I have options. You didn’t think I would let you go, did you, Diana? You and I have unfinished business. You have an obligation to France. You made promises that you must keep.”

  “What are you talking about?” Jacques demanded.

  “It’s a lie.” Not that it mattered, but she wanted Jacques to know she was innocent. He’d stood by her through so many doubts. Now Victor’s lies would ruin everything.

  Victor laughed again and waved his pistol between the two of them. “She actually had you fooled. You really thought she was innocent. She agreed to help us with the rockets, just as her traitor father had. You stupid English did not want his information, so he sold it to France, so we can win the war, and the emperor can take his right
ful place as world leader.”

  Jacques inched to his left, blocking Diana without any overt action. “Then why has your government not destroyed England already?”

  Rage filled Caron’s eyes and he drew his dagger. “One small delay with her stupid father dying.”

  “You killed my father.” Diana stepped next to Jacques.

  Victor shrugged. “An accident, which I have paid for. But when I bring you back to France, all will be forgiven. My rank and honor will be restored, and I will live in glory next to the emperor.”

  “I see.” Jacques tried again to put her behind him. “You have lost what little mind you had, Caron. No one is going to forgive you for killing a man they spent years torturing to give them a better rocket. You’ve cost Napoleon money, and he’ll never forgive you.”

  “Maybe not for her alone, but when I bring your traitorous head back to be paraded around Paris, I will be called a hero.” Victor raised his dagger in victory.

  Jacques sighed dramatically. “Let me see if I understand this. You killed both Mr. and Mrs. MacLeod, whom your government coveted for his scientific knowledge?”

  “The woman was always expendable. Only the girl and the old man were valuable. The woman was only brought along to use to make the old man work.” Too crazy to notice he was poking holes in his own lie, Victor smirked.

  “My mother was a wonderful woman who did not deserve to die at the hands of a filthy pig like you.” Too angry to cry, she longed to strangle the man who ruined her quiet life.

  “Do you remember her screams when I cut off her little finger? That got your father working.” Victor laughed like a child remembering his first toy.

  “That will be quite enough.” The ferocity in Jacques’s tone must have sparked something in Victor.

  He sobered and turned the barrel of his pistol on Jacques. “You have been a burr under my saddle for too many years, Laurent. It is divine providence that you found your way to this whore, and now I have you both together to dispose of as I like. I am going to kill you and cut off your head while your woman watches. Nothing will ever give me as much joy, which is rather sad. However, I will mark this day and celebrate it for the rest of my life.”

  Heart in her throat, Diana wanted to scream. “Just take me. I will be more than enough to show your loyalty to the Emperor. I’ll make your rocket and you will be a French hero and live your life in luxury. Just leave Jacques here. He’s not important. It’s me you want.”

  “Be silent, Diana,” Jacques bit out.

  A slow, terrifying smile spread across Victor’s face. “I am having a very good day. It is a fine offer, but no. I will have his head and you in France making rockets. I have no reason to make anyone a deal. Not today and not ever.”

  Victor leveled his pistol at Jacques. “Goodbye, Laurent.”

  Diana waited as long as she could. As Victor’s finger pulled back on the trigger, the world slowed. She leaped in front of Jacques. Nothing could happen to him. She’d rather die than watch him bleed.

  She screamed as pain erupted in her shoulder and back. Jacques’s arms came around her and all she could see were his beautiful dark eyes. “I would never betray you. I’m no spy.”

  Voices sounded as if they were coming from every direction.

  Then silence and darkness.

  * * * *

  “Diana!” Jacques held her limp body in his arms.

  Horsemen and Preston rushed in from all directions.

  Preston said, “Oh God, she’s been shot. Call for a surgeon.”

  Warmth seeped over his hand. Holding her with one arm, Jacques ripped his cravat off and handed it to Preston. “Press this on the wound.”

  He did as told but stared at Jacques. “Are you hurt?”

  Diana trembled in his arms and he realized her trembling was his own. “She jumped in front of me. She took the bullet meant for me.”

  Victor cursed in French and babbled nonsense. Alex ordered him taken to the dungeon.

  A footman rushed over. “I can carry her, sir.”

  “I have her. You can go for the surgeon.”

  He must have looked about to drop because the footman pursed his lips. “Mr. Bates has already sent for the doctor. I’ll just stay with you until we get Miss MacLeod inside.”

  Preston turned to the footman. “See if you can find Mrs. Fallcraft. She has some medical knowledge and may be able to help. I will follow Mr. Laurent and make sure his strength holds.”

  At a run, the footman took off across the garden toward the school side of the castle.

  Jacques lifted her in his arms while Preston kept the cloth pressed to her back.

  “Do you want me to carry her? You look a bit worse for wear.” Preston tucked the cravat into Jacques’s hand and pressed both on the wound.

  “No. I have her.” The snow was stained red around them. Jacques’s stomach churned. Diana’s moan gave him hope. She was alive and she had to stay that way.

  As he rushed toward the castle, people ran past him, but Jacques only saw them in his periphery. He focused on getting Diana to warmth and finding a surgeon to make her well.

  Footmen opened doors and maids rushed about with linens and wash water. Inside the parlor, Jacques placed her on the couch.”

  Cecilia touched his shoulder. “Here, sir, I’ve got her. I’ll get her out of the coat.”

  Honoria flew through the door. “My girl. What happened? I saw that fiend taken to the dungeon. They should take him to the pits of hell. Missy, go and fetch Miss MacLeod’s nightdress and more sheets. Oh, my girl.”

  Mind spinning out of control, Jacques backed away. Diana’s declaration that she had not betrayed him played over in his head. How could she have thought it needed saying? He’d never believed a word Victor said against her. It was a ploy to divide them and create doubt. Just as he’d told Preston, he had no doubts about her; he knew her heart.

  Missy, a redheaded maid of perhaps fifteen, rushed in with tears streaming down her face. Five other maids surrounded Diana and removed the cape and overcoat. They took off her boots, all the while pressing new, clean bandages to the bleeding wound.

  So much blood in the snow and on the bandages. His cravat lay in a basin, covered in her blood.

  Preston’s grip on his shoulder startled him. “I cannot lose her, Pres. She has to be okay.”

  Mrs. Fallcraft rushed in with a black bag and took over the caregiving. “Good, girls. We’ll need more water and bandages. Has the surgeon been called?”

  “Yes, ma’am. He’s on his way,” Preston said.

  Honoria stood watch but allowed Mrs. Fallcraft to take over.

  “The snow will keep him. This ball is too deep. We’ll have to stop the bleeding until he gets here. Bank the fire and open those windows. The cold air is better.”

  As if she were a general, her orders were instantly obeyed by footmen and maids. Meanwhile, Mrs. Fallcraft held Diana in her arms and pressed a bandage to her back. “Preston, take Jacques out of here. If he falls ill, my attention will be divided, and that will not be good for Miss MacLeod.”

  “Come on, Jacques. We’re not doing anyone any good here. Let’s go and see about Caron.” Preston wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and they left the parlor.

  Calling over his shoulder, Jacques said, “I want to know the minute the surgeon arrives.”

  “I will find you.” Honoria closed the parlor door.

  “When your lady awakens, I shall owe her an apology and my thanks. I would not have thought she would take a bullet for you or anyone. Bravest thing I’ve ever seen.”

  “What were you doing there?” With all that had happened, Jacques just realized he and Diana had not been alone on their walk.

  “Just in case there was trouble, Alex and I followed. When we spotted Victor, Alex sent me to fetch the others. We arrived just as he
pulled the trigger. Alex looked a bit shocked, if you want my opinion. He’d not expected Caron to be insane and shoot you. He thought he’d try to find a way to bring you both back to France.” Preston opened a thick wooden door with iron strapping, revealing narrow stairs down to the castle’s original dungeon.

  The air grew damp and cool as they descended. Caron’s mad rantings filled the stone cavern.

  “Then Alex was there. He could have made himself known and perhaps Diana wouldn’t have been injured.” Jacques couldn’t bear the thought that her injuries might be fatal. The pain tearing through his chest could not be eased until he knew Diana was going to live.

  “Or he might have stepped out and caused Caron to shoot sooner. Caron might have shot you and taken his dagger to Diana in an effort to escape the Horsemen. If the rest of us had arrived sooner…” Preston shook his head.

  “It’s not your fault, Pres.” There was no way of knowing how Victor might have reacted to one more person stepping into view. It could have been as Preston said or worse. Insanity had taken over Victor’s mind.

  At the bottom of the stairs, Preston put his hand on Jacques’s shoulder and the muscle in his jaw ticked. “I didn’t truly believe in her as you did. I still had doubts about her loyalties, both to you and to England. My wretched disbelief could have gotten you both killed, and there is no way to apologize for such a slight.”

  The weight Jacques had carried for months over his closest friend’s mistrust of Diana lifted. Loving Diana meant ignoring the feelings of anyone unrelated to them as a couple, but it also meant straining his bond with the man he considered his brother. Jacques hadn’t realized how heavy it had been until it no longer held him down. “You are the one person in this world who need never apologize to me, Pres. We have known each other too long to worry about such things.”

  With a long sigh, Preston met Jacques’s gaze. “How will I make up such a grievous error to Diana?”

  “You will have a lifetime to make amends.” Jacques hoped he was telling the truth. She’d looked so fragile lying pale and listless on the couch. None of the vibrant woman he knew remained in that moment.