The Last Day of Winter

by Shari Low

  Josie nodded with sage wisdom. ‘That sounds like the kind of plan I can get on board with. I’ll track us down a bottle of Jack Daniels and two straws.’

  Stacey knew how much the older woman loved Cammy and another wave of regret tugged at her soul. They could be one big dysfunctional non-related family here if only she’d got in there with this man first. Instead, she’d let someone else take him. Or not, as the absence of a bride would seem to suggest.

  ‘But before we drink our feelings away, I’ve been thinking you should probably let Pearl and Bob know first, before you make the announcement to everyone else. Just have a quiet word in their ear,’ Josie suggested. ‘And probably let the celebrant go too. With a bit of luck, he’ll only charge by the hour and you might get some money back.’

  ‘Yeah, good idea,’ he agreed, yet he didn’t move.

  Josie was the first one to realise why. ‘You’re still hoping she’ll turn up, aren’t you?’

  Cammy exhaled, his expression desperate. ‘I don’t know. I’m just… I know she’s not coming, yet I still can’t quite believe it. I just want her to walk in that door right now and tell me it was all a big mistake.’

  Stacey could see the sympathy in Josie’s eyes. ‘It’s not going to happen, son.’

  ‘I know, but there’s nothing like hope, eh?’

  With that, he hugged them both and went off in search of Pearl and Bob and the humanist celebrant they’d booked for the night.

  Josie, meanwhile, put her arm through Stacey’s.

  ‘You okay there, ma darlin’?’ she asked, like the mistress of interrogation that she was.

  Stacey contemplated revealing all. Josie had been there for every problem in her life, every worry, every mistake. However, this wasn’t one that she wanted to share yet. Not today.

  ‘I’m fine, Josie.’

  ‘Okay, love, I’m glad to hear it,’ was the loaded reply.

  Just at that, her phone buzzed and, with her free hand, she pulled it from her clutch purse.

  A text. Jax.

  Where the fuck are you? Need to talk to you now. Call me.

  She slipped it back into her bag, no intention of doing as he asked. Jax was a problem for another day. Right now she had as much as she could deal with.

  ‘Do you need to reply to that?’ Josie asked.

  Stacey knew it was a test. ‘No, it’s fine. It’s Jax. I’ll buzz him later.’

  Fail. Josie absolutely had the measure of what was happening here. Like a scene from the Godfather (another of her favourite films), the older woman reached up and kissed her on the cheek. Christ, she could get whacked at any moment.

  ‘Okay, my darlin’,’ Josie said. ‘You know where I am if you need to talk. Can’t be easy coming back here and finding everyone has changed, moved on with their lives.’

  There was a weight to her carefully chosen words, one that sat between care, concern, love and a subtle warning: People have moved on. Cammy has moved on. I know what you’re thinking, but don’t do it.

  With that, Josie went off to mingle, leaving Stacey standing surrounded by beautiful flowers and regrets.

  But then, as she took a sip of champagne, Cammy’s parting words echoed in her mind: There’s nothing like hope, eh?

  Twenty-Eight

  Website – www.itshouldhavebeenme.com

  Members Discussion Forum

  Responses to post by member, screen name NotOverYet:

  Comments:

  NotOverYet: Last chance to tell him. Here goes.

  JessieInAJam: Damn, if this is really going down, I want ring side tickets.

  Bethany Sunshine: I’m sending love vibes into the universe for you. Please, please, keep us updated. I need to know how this works out. #asgeorgebensonsays #nevergiveuponagoodthing

  MIstressNumberOne: Sheeeeeiiiiiitttttt. New to the party but loving this. Popcorn ready. Can’t wait to see how this plays out.

  8 p.m. – 10 p.m.

  Twenty-Nine

  Caro

  ‘Can you go as fast as you can, please?’ Caro begged the taxi driver.

  The driver glanced in his rear view mirror so he could catch a glimpse of her as he nodded.

  ‘Don’t you worry, pet, we’ll get you there. What time does it start?’

  Caro checked her watch. ‘An hour ago.’

  She could see his eyes widen in the mirror. ‘Ah, right. I’ve always wanted to be like those blokes in Fast and Furious. Let’s hope all the coppers are out at their Christmas party,’ he said with a chuckle, before putting his foot down on the accelerator. ‘I had a Santa, two reindeer and a flashing penguin this morning, but this might just be my favourite fare of the day.’

  Caro knew that this would be his top story to share over his Christmas Day dinner next week and every Christmas until the end of time.

  The taxi had picked them up an hour ago on Great Western Road, outside the Botanic Gardens. She’d given the driver her address and told him it was a rush job and that she wanted him to wait at the other end and bring them back to the same place. ‘Not a bother, pet,’ he’d assured her, pleasantly. ‘Makes a change from the drunk suits I’ve been picking up all day. Last bloke had been tanking the wine at a lunch that lasted six hours. Sorry if it still smells a bit dodgy back there.’

  ‘No, it’s fine. Thank you. I really appreciate you being so nice.’

  Desperately trying to calm her anxiety, she’d leaned back in her seat and smiled at the man beside her, feeling like the day had just been elevated to a whole new level of unexpected. Her dad? Or rather, potentially her dad? She still couldn’t quite take it in, but she was going with it. Everything he’d said was completely bonkers and shocking and incomprehensible, yet, somehow, it all made sense, because she was choosing to believe that her mum had – by some power of divine intervention – sent this man here today to help her, to change her mind, to make her see that she had to grab on to Cammy and love him. And that meant marrying him.

  ‘Are you okay?’ Seb – she couldn’t think of him as Dad until she knew for sure – had asked.

  Without warning, a chuckle had escaped her. ‘I know I shouldn’t be, but somehow, I am. This is… crazy. All of it. You. The wedding. I’m so grateful that we met, though. What scares me is that you could have left tomorrow and I’d never have known…’

  ‘Caro, you know I’m not sure. There’s only a small chance.’

  ‘I get that,’ she’d said, knowing it was true. ‘But no matter what, you’ve changed my life today and I’m so, so thankful.’

  ‘Me too,’ Seb had told her. ‘No matter what happens, I’m glad that I was here today to see this.’

  His words had sparked a thought, and she’d snatched her phone out of her pocket. She’d been so busy changing her mind and processing all this that she hadn’t let Cammy know she was coming. She could have nipped into the hotel to see him first, or told someone at the Kibble Palace to let him know, or called Josie, or done a million different things, but in her mind, she’d just wanted to get back to her flat and do what she had to do.

  ‘I’ll just call Cammy and tell him that I’m coming…’ she’d pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked the screen. Shit. Out of charge. And she couldn’t even use Seb’s phone because she didn’t know Cammy’s number off the top of her head. She really was a rubbish fiancée. All she could do now was hope that he’d waited, and that there was still a relationship there to salvage. Cammy had said he understood and they’d sort it out, but this must have hurt him. She just prayed he would forgive her. ‘Aaargh, my stomach is flipping here,’ she’d admitted. ‘Tell me more about you. Anything at all. I just need you to make the time pass faster so I can get back there and make this right.’

  Over the next twenty minutes, he’d told her more about his life with Juliet. How they’d met, where he’d proposed to her, what their wedding had been like, and her heart had ached for him. His love for his wife oozed from every pore and she couldn’t imagine the pain that he must be in. And
the guilt. Not that she blamed him for a second. It had clearly been a horrendous, devastating accident. Still, how would anyone ever get over something like that? No matter what any DNA test showed, she knew that she would do everything she could to help him.

  ‘Just here!’ she’d said urgently, as they drew into her street, and then she’d held on to the door handle as the taxi driver swooped into a space right outside the flat. She could see it was in darkness. Bugger, she’d missed them. They must have crossed paths. They’d either be at the hotel now, or already over at the Kibble Palace. ‘Okay, if you wouldn’t mind waiting? I’ll be about ten minutes.’

  ‘No problem at all, pet, but I have to keep the meter running – are you okay with that?’

  ‘Of course! I’ll be as quick as I can!’

  ‘Do you want me to wait here or come with you?’ She could see that Seb was a bit embarrassed, unsure what to do. They’d gone from strangers to being together and invested in each other’s lives in the length of time other people took to buy a pint of milk.

  ‘Please come! I might need help with the dress.’

  He took his cue from her, and followed as she’d raced upstairs.

  Please be there, please be there, she’d prayed, as she thrust the key in the lock, swung the door open and…

  It was still there. Directly in front of her. Hanging in a white bag, with the gold emblem that Caro recognised as her friend Claire’s dress design company logo, was her wedding gown. For a moment she’d been worried that Claire would have taken it back to her studio after Caro had run out this morning.

  ‘Yes!’ she’d squealed, before snatching it off the door and heading to her room. ‘I’ll be two minutes. There was a headdress of flowers in the kitchen this morning – it’s the door straight ahead – can you have a look and see if it’s still there, please?’

  Just a few minutes later, they’d met back in the hall. ‘Here you go – it was where you said it would be.’

  ‘Brilliant, thanks!’ Caro had taken it and plonked it on her head. When she’d been planning her wedding accessories, she’d decided against a veil, opting for a slim ring of Christmas flowers – white, green and silver – instead. It was much more her style. Natural. No fuss. Simple. Her dress was similarly understated. Cut from stunning winter white matt satin, it was off the shoulder, and skimmed her body to the waist, before flaring to the floor. Elegant. Classy. She’d loved it from the moment Claire had shown her the first design. The wonderful thing about having a friend design your dress was that they knew exactly what you wanted. It would have been such a waste if it never saw the outside of the garment hanger.

  ‘You look beautiful,’ Seb had told her, and she could hear the emotion in his voice. Dad or not, she felt an incredible feeling of warmth towards him and – even more inexplicably – an absolute reversal in her feelings about the wedding. It was as if he’d wiped away all her doubts and fears. It was difficult to explain all the reasons why. It was the way that he spoke of his love for his wife. It was the fact that she now knew that her mother had been loved by someone other than the father she hated. But most of all it was his feeling that both Juliet and her mum had led them to this point, to this meeting, and if that was true, then it was because her mum was sending her a message. Be happy. Live and love. It’s ok. I’m with you.

  ‘Can you zip me up please?’

  ‘My pleasure.’ Caro was sure his eyes were glistening. DNA or not, with the care and honesty he’d shown her today, he’d already been more of a father to her than her own dad had ever been.

  ‘Two secs, just let me call…’ She’d grabbed her home phone and pressed speed dial 1. Cammy. It went straight to voicemail. Damn! She had to let him know she was coming. Speed dial 2. Josie. Voicemail. Bugger! If they were already in the reception, they might have their phones off. Or perhaps the signal wasn’t great there. Either way, she didn’t have time to call everyone she knew. ‘Okay, let’s go,’ she’d gushed, grinning with genuine happiness, as they bolted back down the stairs.

  They were already at the bottom when she’d realised she was still wearing her biker boots under the dress. Bugger it. No-one would care. Cammy didn’t think she was going to make it tonight so she felt he’d come to terms with the fact that it was only her sparkly white shoes that didn’t turn up.

  ‘Naw, pet, you’ve got to be joking me!’ the taxi driver had bellowed, with a huge guffaw as she climbed back into the cab. ‘You said you were in a rush to get back to a wedding, but you didn’t mention it was yer own! Ach, this is brilliant. I bloody love ma job sometimes.’

  ‘I knew there was something I forgot to mention,’ she’d giggled.

  ‘Brilliant. Bloody brilliant,’ he’d repeated, speeding away from the kerb.

  ‘Bugger, I’ve left my phone at the flat. I put it on charge and completely forgot about it. I wanted to keep trying to contact Cammy. What if he’s told them the wedding is off and they’ve all gone home?’

  Seb had put his hand on hers. ‘Didn’t you say he was going to go ahead with the reception as planned?’

  Caro bit her bottom lip. ‘Yes, but… oh, damn it, I don’t know. This morning I didn’t want this wedding to happen and now there’s nothing I want more. I think maybe Cammy was getting a lucky escape.’ Her anxiety was back up to full throttle again.

  ‘He’s going to be there, all your guests will be too, and this is all going to work out. You’re going to be the most beautiful bride in boots ever.’ Seb’s calmness began to rub off on her.

  He was right. It was going to be fine. Absolutely. Positively. Wasn’t it?

  As requested, the driver had kept his foot to the floor the whole way back, and now they were screeching into the kerb.

  Caro checked out the clock on his dashboard. 8.05 p.m.

  An hour late. Damn it.

  ‘Here you go, folks. Botanic Gardens. And I managed to get us here without a flashing blue light pouncing on us. That must be a sign from the gods.’

  ‘Thank you so much. Do you want to come in for a glass of something?’ Caro asked him. It seemed only fair given that he might just have saved the day.

  ‘Ach, I’d love to, but it’s the Friday before Christmas. Big earner. You have a great night though, pet. Me and the missus have been married for thirty years and I can definitely recommend it. Although, I’m not sure she’d have said the same if she’d had to bail me out for speeding tonight.’

  Caro leaned forward and gave him an impromptu hug. ‘She’s a lucky woman.’

  ‘Aye, I tell her that often,’ he joked.

  Seb was leaning forward now too. ‘How much do I owe you?’

  ‘Bugger! I didn’t even bring my purse!’ Caro exclaimed, mortified. She’d been this guy’s maybe/almost/possibly daughter for a whole two hours and already she was costing him money. This was beyond embarrassing.

  Fortunately, Seb seemed to find it amusing. ‘Don’t be daft. If this works out, I owe a whole load of child support payments,’ he quipped. ‘How much, pal?’ he asked the driver again, only for the man in the front to shake his head.

  ‘Nothing, mate. Call it my wedding present to you,’ he said to Caro. ‘And also, I’ll put this in the memoirs I’m going to write one day and I’ll make a million. At least, that’s what I tell the wife.’

  ‘You’re amazing,’ Caro said, clambering out, feeling so grateful. In a day of highs and lows, this was near the top of the scale. ‘Thank you. And Merry Christmas!’

  ‘Merry Christmas to you too, pet, and good luck.’

  With that, and a roar of the engine, he was off. Caro made a note to track him down when all this was done and send him a bottle of something. She exhaled. Please be there. Please be there. She turned to Seb, who was standing beside her on the pavement now, holding up his hand for her to take. She accepted it gratefully.

  ‘Are you ready to do this?’ he asked.

  Caro nodded.

  ‘Then let’s go.’

  As they broke into a run, she held on
to him with one hand, while clutching her headdress to her head with the other.

  As they tore through the gates, she realised that it was all quiet. There was no music, no noise except the sound of their feet splashing in the puddles.

  After everything that had happened today was she too late for her own wedding?

  Thirty

  Seb

  Seb just hoped, more than anything, that Juliet was looking down on him right now. If she was, she’d be laughing her head off at him, jogging through the Botanic Gardens at night, illuminated only by thousands of fairy lights on the trees around them, a bride on his arm, his shoes soggy with rain.

  They’d once got caught in a storm in Bali, and they’d run along the beach, laughing, arms thrown wide, as sheets of rain pummelled their T-shirts and shorts. Juliet had grabbed him and they’d danced along the sands, giggling as they did so. It was one of his favourite memories. And Seb had a feeling that – no matter how the question of his paternity was answered – this would be another moment that he’d love to relive until the end of time.

  ‘There’s no music. Oh God, they’ve all gone home,’ Caro wailed and he could hear the panic in her voice, but he refused to believe they were too late. After everything that had happened today, every meeting, every conversation, every tear that had been shed, he had to keep thinking that it had all been for this purpose, to bring this gorgeous woman here tonight and to help her get her happy ever after.

  With his free hand, he clenched his brown leather bag to his side.

  Stay with us, Juliet, he said silently. He had to believe that she would.

  They turned a corner and the Kibble Palace came into view, the structure glowing against the black December sky. Caro was right – there was no music.