Broken Pieces (Leaving You, Finding Them Book 1)

by Tammi Lynn

  “You’re mean, but I miss you. Are you sure you can’t stay longer than Friday morning?” It was too short a time.

  “No, I promised your sister, Melanie, we’d make a Thanksgiving dinner on Saturday, so I have to get back.”

  Freakin’ sister stealing my attention. What sibling rivalry? None here. Nope. I promise. I love her like crazy though, both my sisters are the best. “Fine, I guess,” I say sarcastically bringing a chuckle through the phone. “I love you, Mom, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  “Love you, Mia.” The line clicked off, and I just stood there in the silence for a moment. It was too quiet. In the past month, this house had become so full and filled with noise. I’m not a fan of the quiet.

  Getting ground beef out that I was thawing from the fridge, I start cooking it up for some spaghetti. The guys should all be home soon with Miklo, and I know they’ll all be hungry. I’m working on the sauce when my phone rings again. It’s Dre. I don’t really want to answer knowing what today is. I never expected him to call, I was always the one to call him on this day every year. I’ve been trying not to think about it all day, it hurts too much. But I do need to talk to him, we need to plan how we are going to split the time with Miklo for Christmas break.

  “Hey, Dre.”

  “Hey, Baby! Happy Anniversary!” It wasn’t a real anniversary, but this day fifteen years ago was the day Andreas, and I first met. I always made sure to call him every year. It was always me, and I’m actually surprised he remembered. “Do you remember when we first met? It was at a party at my boy Manny’s, and you had been standing all shy in the corner with some friends. Fuck, you looked hot.”

  “I remember,” I remember getting really drunk that night too. I had the biggest crush on him and was too nervous to talk to him, so my friends all started taking shots with me to loosen up. At nineteen, I had only been with one boyfriend in high school. Andreas was twenty-one, dangerous, and the perfect opportunity to come out of my shell.

  “That was the first time you ever let me taste that beautiful pink pussy of yours. You made me wait a month for the rest, but you did give me a taste.”

  “Your favorite flavor.” I drawl in a dry tone because I knew he’d continue. Look at me! I am so calm, patient, understanding…

  “Yes, my favorite flavor.” He used to always tell me that. I can’t get lost in these memories, I can’t let him pull me back in. “I really miss you, Mia. I want you back. Lisa and I aren’t doing so good. I’m going to leave her.”

  How many times have I wished for him to say those words to me? And how many times has he said them to me and they’ve never come true? I can feel the tears start to pool in my eyes, threatening to drop. I think the biggest reason it hurts is that after all this time, he assumes that it is enough for me to crawl back to him. And it had been, for a very long time. But after everything, I’ve been through and being shown, what real affection, trust, and respect feels like? No. I am not doing this with him. I can’t. “Don’t Dre, I can’t go through this again.”

  “I’m serious this time, Mia, the boys, and I have been staying over at my dad’s. I don’t want to be with her, and I want you back. You told me to prove to you that I love you. I’m doing that.”

  There go the tears. Sometimes I wonder if he does this to torture me, you know? Like these head games, he plays are so fucked up. I don’t know if it's the thrill of him seeing if he can accomplish getting me back under his thumb or if he truly doesn’t get it. Doesn’t see the narcissistic character traits that makeup Dre. “Dre stop, it’s too late. I feel so much better without you in my life. I know that it is hard for you to hear, but you need to. I finally am feeling like myself again. .”

  “Don’t say that Baby, just watch, I’ll show you. Don’t give up on me” He sounded sad, and it was tearing me up on the inside. It was so toxic. God, this was so fucking toxic, and it felt like a drain on my heart. Pulling. Taking. Never giving. I could feel my entire mood plummet.

  Why is he doing this now? Why couldn’t he have made this decision before I left? Not that he would ever actually change! Plus, I have my guys now, and there is no way I could leave them. Cade told me he loved me, and he’s told me every night since. When he said it that night, he set my heart on fire, and I almost choked on the overwhelming emotions that ran through me at his declaration. I haven’t said it back, though. I’m not ready yet, too scared of loving anyone so much, afraid to give another person the power to break me in pieces once again. I think I do love him though, I think I’ve fallen in love with each and every one of them, all fiercely, but all differently at the same time, uniquely their own. They surround my heart like I’m a compass point and keep me sheltered from the dangerous sea that threatens to break up the pieces.

  Dre will always have a piece of my heart, I’ve loved him for too long for all my feelings to just disappear, and he gave me my baby boy. But I can’t and won’t do this anymore.

  “Dre look, I can’t talk about this right now. I need you to buy Miklo’s ticket to Arizona for Christmas, and I’ll buy his return ticket. He’s going to stay the first week with Christmas with me, and then he can go to you for the second week with his birthday.” I wasn’t going to let him know yet that I would also be down that week to visit my family and friends. “We can talk about it later, but I gotta go. Bye, Dre.”

  “Later, Baby… I love you.” I ended the call, and hurriedly wiped the tears from my eyes. I can hear the guys outside, they must all be home.

  I grabbed plates and silverware, mixing the noodles and sauce as they all walk in excitedly. They’re talking about the game.

  “Mom! We won!”

  “Way to go, Bubbs!” I give him a high five and pull him in for a hug. Has he gotten taller? He’s definitely taller than me now.

  “Momma Mia!’ Jesse says with an Italian accent, sliding his arms around me from behind in a hug. I was wondering how long it would take one of them to play that. I’m wearing a white peasant top that falls from my shoulders and a black skirt, and he places a kiss on the bare skin. The warmth and comfort of his arms are only accented by his paternal pride that he shows my son, “ He did amazing, they all did.”

  “We crushed them thirty-two to eighteen.” My son's excitement is palpable, and it quickly has my spirits up.

  I hand out plates to everyone, and we all sit around the dining and coffee tables to eat. They tell me all about the game, and I’ve barely eaten anything at all when my eyes keep trying to close on me. It’s been a long day. They settle in for a movie, and Roman helps me do the dishes.

  “What’s wrong, Angel?” I had been lost in my head and hadn’t realized Roman had been watching me scrub a plate over and over.

  “It’s nothing. I’m okay.” Everything Dre had said was really weighing heavily on my mind, and I just wanted to go to bed. I handed him the last plate to rinse, and after drying our hands, he pulled me in for a hug, holding me tightly. I burrowed my head into his chest, loving the comfort and safety he brings me and relax into him.

  “I can tell that your not, but I won’t push you.” As if on cue, my phone dings with a message from the counter, and I leaned over to check it.

  Dre: Fetty Wap, Again.

  I close my eyes and sighs, handing Roman my phone, so he can see. I never want them to feel like I’m hiding things from them. Dre is part of my past, but the only way to move on from that is allowing my future to help. After he reads the message, I can see his jaw twitch, he doesn’t like it and looks at me with concern. “I see.” He pulls me back into him and kissed my forehead.

  I’m completely exhausted and dead on my feet. “I’m going to go to bed.” I give him a swift kiss on the lips and start to head down the hall. “Goodnight everyone, I’ll see you in the morning. Love you Miklo, don’t stay up too late you're going to the airport with me in the morning to pick up Nana.”

  “Night mom, Love you.”

  I hear a collective “Night” from the guys and see the three on the couch loo
king at Roman before turning into my room.

  I’m out before Cade ever makes his way into bed.

  ∞∞∞

  “Really, Jesse? Flowers? You're such a suck-up.” I laugh. This morning when I woke up, my truck was gone. There was snow in the forecast in the next few days, so Cade and Roman took my truck to get fitted for chains just in case, so I got Jesse to drive Miklo and me to the airport to pick up my mom. Somewhere between the jeep and the gates, he had found some flowers, proudly holding them to give to her when the plane landed. It was actually really sweet but couldn’t miss an opportunity to pick on him.

  “Yeah, Jesse, you nervous my Nana isn’t going to like you?” Miklo has been picking on him too. It started with Jesse showing up at the door with a dark pair of jeans on, a baby blue button-up that matched his eyes, and his hair was combed in a modest style. I wanted to run my hands through it and put it back in the messy, sexy style he normally wears it in.

  “Whatever, look at all the brownie points I’m going to get before the others even get to meet her?” He did look a little nervous fidgeting back and forth on his feet, not something I’m used to seeing from the happy go lucky social Jesse.

  “She’s going to love you, all of you,” I whisper softly, grasping his hand. She would. She was my mom, and what made me happy, no doubt, always made her happy.

  “Yeah, just don’t hurt mom, cause you don’t want the wrath of Nana. She loves everyone unless you mess with one of her babies.”

  He looks over at me and winks. “Well, that’s not going to happen, so I’m golden.”

  “There she is! Nana! Over here!” Miklo rushes off to greet her, and I decide he definitely has grown. Watching them hug, I can see that he is now her height, and she’s four inches taller than me. Even with the difference in height, though, I look very much like my mother. We have the same hazel/green eyes and the same dark hair, although she keeps hers at a little past her shoulders.

  “Hey, Mom.” I give her a big squeeze when they get over to us, it’s so good to see her. You know the feeling of hugging someone you have spent your entire life with and smelling their perfume? The comfort of that known scent and hug? Best fucking feeling ever.

  “Hey, my Mia, I’ve missed you.” She squeezes me in return and then steps back, her eyes widening and zeroing in on Jesse. “And who’s this?”

  “Jesse Briggs Ma’am. It’s nice to meet you, Mia and Miklo talk about you all the time.” He hands her the flowers and shakes her hand.

  “Yes, and she’s told me so much about you too.” She gives him a mischievous grin, and the fucker gives her one right back.

  “Oh, really?” He turns his smile to me. “Whatever about?” Oh yeah, they're going to get along. Which is bad. That is really bad because I’m the common factor, so who do we think is going to get teased?

  “So, do you only have your purse and carry-on suitcase?” I hurry and try to change the subject, my mom has no problems embarrassing me, and Miklo is enjoying this too much. Probably thinking payback for me embarrassing him yesterday.

  “Yup, pack light, get out fast, and keep your belongings close.”

  Jesse takes her suitcase, and he and Miklo walk ahead. My mom keeps looking over at me as we walk, and I know she’s itching to say something. “Just get it out, mom.”

  Wiggling her eyebrows at me. “So, is he the one your dating? He’s hot.”

  “Oh gosh, mom, you're terrible.” I shake my head laughing. “Look, I have some stuff to tell you, but later, okay? Tonight.”

  “Tonight.” I already pushed it past telling her last night on the phone, no way is she going to let me get away with not telling her who I am seeing, past tonight.

  ∞∞∞

  When we got back to the house, Cade and Roman had been in my driveway with the hood of the truck up, checking its fluids. They greeted my mom, and Jayson showed up soon after to grab some groceries I had bought for dinner tomorrow to take over to their house. My mom actually stayed quieter than normal, silently observing everything about them. Every single time one would brush against me or slip their fingers over my hand, I swear she saw it and could see the metaphorical wheels turning in her head. When they all left, Cade quickly pulled me outside for a moment, holding me close and giving me a bruising kiss. He didn’t want to leave, and I didn’t want him to leave either. This would be the first time we haven’t slept in the same bed, minus the one night since he saved me from that asshole at the bar. I know he hates sleeping alone, afraid of who’ll be gone when he wakes up.

  I let my mom have my room for her stay, so I’m sitting on the bed talking to her before I head to the couch to get some sleep. “Alright, Mia, so which one is it? Because I’ve gotta say they all seem quite taken with you. Don’t think I missed all those secret touches.” Damn. I knew she saw. Moms always knew that shit.

  Well, here goes nothing I was planning on telling her anyway. “Well, Mom, I’m kinda seeing all four of them.” I shrug my shoulders, there it is.

  Her eyes widen, and she gets a huge grin on her face. “And they don’t mind? You dating all of them?”

  “They haven’t really made any complaints, I guess. Believe me, I was shocked too.”

  “And you like all of them in return?”

  There’s no stopping the smile that graces my face. “I really do.”

  She pats my shoulder before lying down. “That’s my girl.” What?

  “Really? You're okay with that? I kind of thought you’d freak out.”

  “Mia, I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time, you have been smiling all day, and even when we talk on the phone, I can see a change in you. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy. Who am I to question something that finally makes sure you are?”

  “I love you so much, Mom.”

  “I love you to baby. Now go get some sleep, we have a long day tomorrow.”

  Giving her a hug, I then head out to the living room to lay on the couch. I lay there maybe a total of twenty minutes staring at the ceiling before I give in, wrap a blanket around me, and slip on a pair of the guy's boots they leftover and sneak out to head next door. Seeing Cade’s light on in his bedroom window I plan on slipping into his bed so that we can both get some sleep.

  ∞∞∞

  Roman

  My bedroom doors open, and I can hear the front door open and close, the sound of shoes being slipped off and hitting the tile, followed by soft footsteps up the stairs. It’s got to be Mia using the extra key we gave her, none of my brothers could walk that softly up the stairs if they tried. She’s probably headed to Cade’s room, he’s been pacing back and forth in there since we left Mia’s earlier, and I know the poor fuck won’t get any sleep without her.

  I’m just taking off my shirt to climb in bed when I can feel her sneaking up behind me. This has become one of my favorite new games, her trying to sneak attack me, and me knowing she’s coming but letting her jump on me anyways. It’s fucking adorable.

  “Gotcha!” She jumps on my back, throwing her arms around my neck, and I grip her thighs to keep her up.

  “Hmm, I think I got you.” I bounce her a little, and she bites my neck. “Ouch! You little vixen.”

  “Ha! You loved it, and I only took a little bite.” She jumps down, and I sit on the bed and pull her to my lap. “So, what are you up to?”

  “I was just headed to bed. Hey, are you okay?” I know she probably doesn’t want to talk about it, but after seeing her so defeated last night, it’s all I’ve been able to think about. I’m going to fucking knock that asshole Dre’shead off his shoulders if I ever meet him. She has been so happy and coming out of her shell, for him to be putting a frown on my Angels face pisses me the fuck off.

  “Yeah, I’m good.” She gives me a smile, but it doesn’t reach her eyes like it normally does. “What about you? Are you okay? I know you said you have a hard time around the holidays.”

  She remembered. Of course, she did. I’m actually kind of dreading it, Thanksgiving was
one of Mom’s favorites. “I’ll be fine.”

  “Sit next to me at dinner tomorrow?” She says as she squeezes my hand and leans back into my chest, her warmth enveloping me.

  She wants to make sure I stay okay. “I’d like that.” I stand her up and smack her ass as she bends over to pick up the blanket she dropped on the floor when she made her flying assault at me. “Now go get in there with Cade before we see him walk past to sneak into your house. We don’t need him scaring your mom.”

  When she turns to leave, I grab her hand and spin her back into me to get a kiss before she goes, needing to drink my fill. She melts in my arms, and I can’t help but get satisfaction from her being so trusting of my hold. She knows I’d never drop her. “Come with me?” Well, since she asked so sweetly, how could I resist? I follow her into Cade’s room, and he doesn’t even seem surprised by my presence. He visibly relaxes when he sees us, he definitely doesn’t have to sleep alone now.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Thank You For Giving

  I snuck back into my house around seven this morning before either Miklo or my mom woke up and curled under the blanket on the couch. When they did get up, my mom fixed us all pancakes, putting chocolate chips in Miklo’s, and we all sat around the dining table to eat. My mom kept looking over at me and smiling. She knows I snuck out last night. She always knew when I snuck out. Spiderman and his spidey sense don’t have anything on mom’s and their extra senses. I hope mine is as good as hers if Miklo ever tries to sneak out.

  After eating breakfast and taking mom on a tour of the town, we all went over to the guys' house to start cooking the Thanksgiving feast. I’m currently making deviled eggs while my mom makes a pumpkin pie, and I keep noticing eggs going missing. Turning slightly and looking out of the corner of my eye, I see Jesse snatch one off the plate. Damn egg thief. He’s on the other side of the kitchen island from me, and his cheeks are puffed out from having to stuff the whole egg in there. “Hey! These are for later, you keep making that stuffing.”