Broken Pieces (Leaving You, Finding Them Book 1)

by Tammi Lynn

  “Do you still love him?”

  “I’m not in love with him, Jesse, not like… It doesn’t matter. But love him? He’s been a part of my life for nearly fourteen years, it’s a lot to get over.” His face falls, and I feel bad. I don’t want to ever lie to them, but I don’t want to hurt them either. I don’t want to say anything until I know I’m ready. Also, low key almost said ‘not like I am in love with you,,’ but we are going to pretend crazy words don’t come out of my mouth.

  “He’s not good for you baby, and from what you and Miklo have said, he’s missed so much of Miklo growing up. How could he be like that? I wish I had a kid like Miklo.” There goes that pain in my heart again. “Do you wanna know something I’ve never told anyone else before?”

  “Not even Roman?” Well, now, I feel like Emma and her secrets.

  He shakes his head. “Not even Roman. I know he told you about my dad, right?” I nod, not wanting to interrupt him. I’ve wanted him to tell me more about himself. “When I was seventeen I actually tracked him down, told Roman I was going over to a girl’s house but drove down to Portland instead. That’s where he had been living. Living with his wife and two other kids. I hadn’t even known I had siblings, and when I pulled up across the street from there house… I just watched them for a while. He seemed like such a good dad, and he was, but to them. After watching him play ball in the front yard with his other son, I left. I didn’t want to meet him after that, all that love but not even a little bit for me. I swore if I ever had kids that I would be there for them always, no matter the situation. It makes me appreciate mine and Roman’s dad even more.”

  I didn’t even know I started crying until he reached over and removed one with his thumb. “I’m so sorry, Jesse if he left you he doesn’t deserve you.” I do see the irony of my words considering how Dre treated me, “and you’re amazing with Miklo. He really looks up to you.”

  You can’t miss the look of pride that goes across his face. “Thank you for letting me be someone to look up too.” My eyes get heavier, and it’s all I can do to keep them open. “Mia?”

  “Yeah?” I can feel sleep taking over. One sheep… two sheep… three sheep…

  “I think I’m in love with you... no, I am in love with you.” His voice sounds like he is surprised and in awe at the same time.

  I fall asleep as he says the words, and I end up dreaming, wondering if they were ever really said. Jesse loves me too?

  ∞∞∞

  Jayson

  I just got home from taking Emma back home to her moms, having stopped and picked up soup first to bring Mia. Cade had messaged everyone that she was sick and to let her rest, but I knew from personal experience that this chicken noodle soup was amazing when trying to get over being sick. I hadn’t been home when Cade took everyone’s keys, which I found out about from Jesse this morning when he texted to see if I had left mine at home he wanted to use it. So I still had mine on me since it’s attached to my truck keys. I let myself in finding the house dark. I remember Miklo saying something about going over to his friend Killian’s today, and I’m betting Mia is in bed.

  Placing the soup on the counter, I head back into her room to find both her and Jesse passed out. She’s all bundled in a ball, and he’s all spread out his arms above his head. I walk to her side and brush her hair from her face, my hand halting on her forehead. “Holy shit.”

  She’s fucking burning up. I mean scalding hot to the touch, and she lets out a whimper when she flinches away from my cooler hand. “Mia? Mia, sweetheart, you need to wake up.” Her eyes flutter but stay shut, and she groans a little louder. She sounds like she’s in pain, and I know it’s her fever. I shove at Jesse to wake him up. He feels warm, too, but not even close to as hot as Mia. “Jesse, wake up, man.”

  “I’m up, I’m up. Shit, what’s going on?” He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and looks over at me.

  “Did she take anything for her fever? When was the last time she took anything?”

  “Yeah, we both took some NyQuil before we laid down.” He looks over at the lock on her nightstand.

  “Shit, that was like six hours ago. Why what’s wrong?”

  “She’s fucking burning up, man, and I can’t get her to wake up.”

  “Oh fuck” He looks disoriented, but I can see him getting it together.

  “Go get her some Tylenol, and I’m going to get her in the shower.” He jumps out of bed to get something for her fever, and I pull the blankets off her and zip her out of her pajamas. Picking her up in just her underwear, I take her into the bathroom, setting her on her feet and holding her against me with one arm while I turn the shower on and wait for it to reach a lukewarm temperature. I need to cool her down, and even the slightly warm water is going to be a shock to her body. Somehow I’m able to slip out of my clothes while still holding her up, and I sit down on the floor of the shower and hold her against me on my lap, the water streaming down on top of us.

  When the water hits her bare skin, she jerks in my arms, and her eyes fly open. “Fuck. Fuck, that’s cold.” It comes out a raspy croak even though I’m pretty sure she intended to yell. She begins to shiver violently, and I hug her to me tighter. “Jayson, what’s going on?”

  “You're burning up, sweetheart, we need to cool your fever down. I couldn’t even get you to wake up.”

  “It’s so cold.” Her teeth start to chatter, and I can barely even hear her. It sounds like she’s almost fully lost her voice.

  “I know, baby, just stay here a little longer with me, okay?” She doesn’t speak but nods her head against my chest.

  “Here’s some Tylenol.” Jesse hands me some white pills, and I place them in her mouth, tilting her head back so that water can trail between her lips, and she swallows.

  “Will you pull out some new pajamas for her? I’m taking her to urgent care.”

  “I’m on it.” He turns and leaves back out of the bathroom.

  “I d-d-don’t want to go to the hospital, I’ll b-b-be fine.”

  Her body feels a lot cooler now, and I stand her back up. I grab us each a towel and wrap one around her while using another to dry her hair. “I’m not going to argue, but I am going to take you.” Her lip pouts out something she’s learned that I don’t think any of us can resist. “Don’t do that. You really scared me when you wouldn’t open your eyes.” It really had. She has wormed her way into my heart, and I can feel myself falling faster and faster for her. I want to care for her and be there for her, and she had sent a well of panic through me when I couldn’t get her to even open her damn eyes.

  Looking into my eyes, she nods and whispers out, “Okay. I’ll go.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  When The Ball Drops

  I had been sick with no voice for a week, I hated having to call into work. It was kind of nice having all of the guys taking care of me. They stayed with me in shifts, making sure I was never alone.

  It was a crazy feeling. I’ve basically been alone for fourteen years, always taking care of myself and Miklo both. Speaking of Miklo, he and Jesse had a good time making fun of me while I was absent of the ability to speak.

  That was three weeks ago, and now, anytime we go anywhere, they are tossing extra jackets and scarves at me, putting beanies on my head and covering my ears. Feeling like the kid in “A Christmas Story,” I constantly had to shed pieces of clothing here and there just to breathe.

  I loved how much they cared, though. I had really scared Jayson, and he started sleeping more nights over with Cade and I. I need a bigger bed, I hated being away from any of them. Shit. I mean, couldn’t we combine houses or something?

  We all came to the mall, leaving Miklo at the movies with Andie and Killian, to do some last-minute Christmas shopping. Christmas break had officially started for the kids, and Christmas was in three days. Two days after that, Miklo and I would be on a plane back to Arizona for a week. I really wanted to see my friends and family, but I wasn’t looking forward to being away from my
guys.

  I already had the guys presents under our modest little tree in the living room courtesy of Amazon, it had been really hard picking out things for them. I pull Jesse into a video game store with me to pick up a couple games on Miklo’s list. Jesse had already grabbed his preset for Miklo, a whole new duffle bag filled with new sports gear and new basketball, so I used him as cover to get away from Cade.

  Yes, I’m trying to get away from Cade. He had entered my dog house a week ago when he showed me the dirt bike he had built from the ground up for Miklo on all those Saturdays he went into work for a few hours.

  I told him no, he told me yes. I put his pillow on the couch to sleep, and he stole mine and made his arm my pillow. Then I tried to sleep on the couch the next time after arguing with him about it. Yeah, that didn’t work, I made it five minutes before he came out and picked me up to carry me back into the room. Now he’s walking around the mall with us, a bag of riding gear in one hand and a new helmet under his other arm. I can’t help but keep glaring daggers at him and his purchases.

  Jesse laughs at me. “You gotta give him a break, Gorgeous. He’s so excited to give that bike to him.”

  “Yeah, well, I’m terrified of him giving it to him.” I grab the games I came to get and head to the register.

  “You don’t really think he’d let him get hurt, do you?”

  “I don’t think he one hundred percent has control over that outcome.” I know I’m acting the overprotective mom role a little strong, but that’s my baby boy.

  “There is no way he lets that boy even turn the bike on before knowing everything about it first. He’ll know how to replace the clutch before he ever gets to even learn how to use it.” He grabs the bag for me that the cashier holds out with my purchases, and we head back out of the store. “Do you know how long he’s been working on that bike? It was the weekend after he helped Miklo with his bike tire.”

  Thinking back to when that was, I start shaking my head. “But that was before we were ever together, you guys barely knew us yet. And I’m pretty sure he hated me back then, always glaring at me, and I swear he even growled at me that very same day.” Great now I’m all of a sudden craving a pickle. Ha! Cade’s pickle. Get it? How have I not made that joke to him yet!

  “He didn’t hate you. He was scared of you.”

  “Cade? Scared of me? Why?”

  “You were making him start to feel things he hadn’t in years. You continue to shock and scare him. You have us all a little scared, Gorgeous.”

  My big strong man Cade, also my big baby. Same as Jesse. I smile, I’ll never get enough of them needing and wanting me as much as I need and want them. We get closer to Cade, and I throw my arms around him, almost, and no not intentionally, knocking the helmet from his arm.

  “Oomph.” Grabbing the helmet in his hand, he wraps his arms around me. “What was that for? I thought you were mad at me.”

  “I am mad at you.” Looking into those emerald eyes, my heart feels like it’s going to burst. “But I also think I might love you a little bit.” His eyes go wide, and I start to freak. Shit! I didn’t mean to say that second part out loud.

  Shoving his bags and the helmet at Jesse’s chest, he grabs me up and spins me around, stopping before crushing his lips to mine. The passion in his kiss makes me feel a little guilty. I really do love him, love all of them. I just… I wasn’t quite ready.

  Coming up for air, I choked back a sob, the emotions I’m feeling, making my anxiety skyrocket. “Baby Girl, I love you. I know you didn’t mean to say that out loud, I could see the shock on your face, but even that it’s a thought in that beautiful head of yours is all I could ask for. I’ll wait for as long as it takes for you to say it on purpose.”

  He gets me, understands me, doesn’t even push me to say it again. “Thank you, Cade.”

  Jesse shoves the bags and helmet back at Cade with a goofy grin and grabs my hand, tugging me away. “Come on, Mia, let’s go meet Jayson and Roman at the food court. We should grab Miklo some Chinese, he’ll be home from the movies by the time we get there, and starving as usual.” We both laugh. Ever since that boy started playing sports, his appetite went through the roof, instead of getting groceries every other week, I now had to brave the grocery store holiday rush every week now. Although I’m sure, the four other male mouths in the house don’t help with that.

  When we reach the food court, I can see Roman and Jayson sitting at some tables. Jayson’s showing Roman something, but I can’t tell what it is from where I am. As we get closer, they look up and notice us, and Jayson shoves whatever he had been holding into a shopping bag. Ooh, I wonder what that was?

  “Did you all get everything you needed to get?” Jayson says as he stands.

  “Yeah, I’m just going to grab Miklo some orange chicken, and then we can go home.” I’m kinda tired, even though it’s been weeks since I’ve been sick I still keep getting tired quickly. Shopping has me wanting a glass of wine and my bed, maybe a massage? A massage sounds nice, now which one to get to do it? My mind trails off in naughty thoughts while I order the food.

  When we get home, we all climb out of Jayson’s truck and head to my house. We’re going to stash all the presents in my closet so I can wrap them later. Too bad, I noticed Jayson leaving a particular bag in the truck. Ugh, I really want to know what it is.

  We’re all laughing as Jesse tells us a story about him and Miklo playing a trick on the head coach. It’s hilarious, but good lord those two are trouble waiting to happen, a handful for sure. But the bond that those two have created over the past few months is one of the best things to have happened since we’ve been here, and so much good has happened.

  When I turn the key and open the door, all the guys are behind me. I hear a laugh coming from the living room, and quick as a whip, Cade and Roman are in front of me, shoulder to shoulder, and Jayson and Jesse are close at my back. So overprotective, my guys. But wait, that was a male laugh. I know that laugh.

  Slipping between the two brooding men, I grasp one of their hands in each of mine and give them a squeeze. Sitting on my couch with Miklo is the last person I ever expected to ever see there. My heart plummets. That damn ball drops.

  “Hey, Baby Girl. Surprise!”

  I feel Cade's hand tighten almost painfully against my own when he hears his nickname for me be spoken by another man.

  “Dre?”

  Epilogue

  Cade

  It’s been two hours, and I’m still pacing back and forth in our living room. Two hours since we came home to find that fucker on her couch. Miklo’s not even mine, and it made me even madder to see him sitting next to him. That was our Lil Man.

  Feeling the tension in the room rise, she quickly ushered us back out the door with a promise she’d call us later. I don’t think she knew he was coming, she looked as shocked as we all were, but I can’t stand the thought of her over there with him. The man that had MY Baby Girl running and broken. Yeah, I caught that part of him calling her Baby Girl, and I wanted to punch the smile off his face when he said it. I hope I didn’t hurt her hand, having squeezed a little hard. I wish I had been hurting him.

  A phone starts ringing and we all four start searching our pockets for our phones.

  “It’s her.” Jayson holds up his phone before answering it. Figures she’d call his phone. She knows he’ll be the most gentle. I, for fuck sure, don’t feel gentle right now. I want to bury myself inside of her and spank her ass pink until she remembers whose baby girl she is.

  “Hey Sweetheart, you okay?” He nods his head at us, letting us know she said yes.

  “Put it on speaker.” I wanted to hear this too.

  He taps on his phone. “Sweetheart, you're on speaker.”

  “Hey guys, I swear I didn’t know he was going to show up here.” She sounds exhausted, and It has my anger burning hot. He’s already stressing her out.

  “Baby Girl.”

  I don’t even get a chance to say anything befo
re she starts speaking again. “Oh, Cade, I swear I didn’t know, and guys don’t worry he’s going to be sleeping out on the couch.” I can hear the tears in her voice, and my fists clench together. I’m not mad at her. I’m never fucking mad at her. I just am furious at her douche of an x-boyfriend. There’s a pause, and then she comes back on. “I’m going to have to call you guys again later. He’s knocking at the door, and I was supposed to be getting him some blankets. I’ll- I’ll talk to you guys later.” The phone goes dead.

  “What the fuck?” Jayson.

  “Why the fuck is he here? You guys don’t think she’ll go back to him, do you?” Jesse looks like his world is crashing, and I can sympathize with him.

  “I’m going to hurt the fucker. He better not hurt her, and I don’t just mean physically. Fuck! She was already crying.” Roman looks like he’s about to blow. He’s normally the quiet type, but you do not want to get in his way when he’s pissed.

  Me? I’m two seconds from heading out that door and letting that asshole know who’s girl Mia is. She’s ours. Mine. I can feel the blood rushing through my body and the vein at my temple pulsing. I know she’s going to need some time, but I’m not sure I can give her much of it. There’s no fucking way I’m going to get any sleep with her over there with only a door between them. I stop my pacing and look at the door.

  “Fuck it, I’m going over there.”

  Tammi Lynn

  Leaving You, Finding Them

  Book 1 - Broken Pieces

  Book 2 - announced soon!

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