Walk on the Wild Side

by Donna Kauffman

  Her grandmother’s expression remained impassive, but Sunny felt the displeasure emanating from her nonetheless.

  “I’m afraid we’ll need you at Chandler Enterprises immediately. Edwin is resting. You can visit him later when he is up to it.” She paused, then said, “I will arrange to send someone for your things.” She glanced around, and had she allowed such things, Sunny was certain she would have given a visible shudder. As it was, there was no question Frances disapproved of her even being here, much less working and living here.

  Angry at her grandmother’s dismissive attitude toward Sunny’s responsibilities to the D’Angelos, she refused to give in to her wishes and shelve her own—yet again. She stood. “Thank you for your kind offer. However, I will come back and take care of things here myself.” She lifted a hand when Frances started to rebut her decision.

  “I won’t shirk my responsibility to Chandler Enterprises.” If she didn’t stand her ground now, then this past month would have been for nothing. It wasn’t how she planned on returning, but she’d be damned if she’d go back to being the obedient little Susan they expected her to be. “However, I made it clear to Grandfather when I left that I needed this time for myself. I owe you and Grandfather a debt I cannot possibly repay, but despite what has happened, I do not think asking for some time before dedicating the remainder of my life to the company was asking too much. I made the decision to come here, and I have not regretted one minute of the time I’ve spent. Like it or not, there are other people who count on me now, as well.”

  After collecting her purse, Frances rose. “Your grandfather is expecting your appearance at Chandler Enterprises shortly. From his sick bed, he has arranged for a board meeting and extensive briefing to take place within the hour. Arrive promptly.”

  Sunny said nothing. With a hollow pit in her stomach, she watched her grandmother depart. Carl leapt to attention and helped Frances into the back seat of the company limo.

  Frances might be shaken up by Edwin’s sudden health problems—although no one but Sunny would have been able to tell—but she was not going to step back and allow Sunny to call the shots. Edwin might be the power at Chandler Enterprises, but Frances was the ruler of the personal Chandler empire. Her will would not be easily deterred.

  Sunny was trembling as she watched the limo drive away from the curb. She turned to look around the restaurant. So, she was going home. Why did it feel like she was about to leave it, instead?

  With a heart heavier than she could ever remember, she headed to the office, to Nick and Mama Bennie.

  She knocked lightly on the door, and it swung open before she could reach for the knob. Nick immediately took her into his arms and kissed her. She should push away. It wasn’t fair to either of them to carry on with this. But she couldn’t. She wanted to be held by him, kissed senseless by him, at least this one last time. Surely it wasn’t wrong to allow herself a goodbye kiss?

  Nick was the one to break it off, and even before she glanced at his face, she could feel by the tightening of his body that he knew what she was going to say. What she had no choice but to say.

  “I’m so sorry, Nick,” she whispered. She raised her teary eyes to his, dark and intense as ever.

  “You don’t have to go, Sunny.”

  “Nick—” She paused, took a deep, calming breath, then let it out slowly. She had to get through this without falling apart. Things were about to get a whole lot harder for her, and she’d have to find a way to handle them. “My grandfather is very ill.”

  The fingers that had been holding her shoulders immediately relaxed into a massaging motion. “Oh, Sunny. I’m so sorry.”

  Strangely, it was his instant understanding that almost destroyed what little control she had left. He would understand this more than anyone. It was family, and when family needed you, you went. “It’s not when or how I’d have chosen to do this.” He was looking at her with so damn much compassion and affection and— “Maybe it’s for the best.”

  He frowned, and she saw the heat behind the compassion. “There is nothing remotely best about you leaving.”

  Her mouth dropped open as he tugged her close. But no words came out. This was not what she’d expected.

  “Sunny, what we have together is no fling.”

  She looked away, unable to face the pain she saw creeping into his eyes.

  He gently tipped her chin up. “Just because you’re going back to help out while your grandfather is getting better…does that mean we have to end this? End us?”

  My God. He wasn’t going to let her go. Suddenly, despite all the tumultuous feelings rocketing through her…she found herself smiling. “Boy, Frances isn’t going to approve of this at all.”

  “That’s a yes?”

  “That’s a yes.”

  Nick yanked her against him, his kiss more demanding and honest than any they’d shared before. And when she opened her eyes and the room stopped spinning, Nick was still there, standing before her. Steady as always, there for her to lean on, to take strength from.

  Doubt suddenly rushed in. Was she merely substituting the crutch of her family’s demands for the crutch of Nick’s strength?

  “Don’t,” he warned.

  She blinked. “Don’t what?”

  “Don’t start second-guessing.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Yes, you are. I know you, Sunny.”

  It was another moment of revelation for her. He did know her. The real her. And he wanted the real her, faults and all.

  “I want to make sure I am standing on my own two feet,” she said. “I need to know I’m able to do this on my own.”

  “Okay. If I walked away right now, told you I never wanted to see you again, would you still be able to go back to Chandler Enterprises and do what you have to do?”

  Just hearing him say he never wanted to see her again made her heart throb with hurt. “Yes,” she said softly. “But I—”

  “And when you said you wanted to keep seeing me, was it because you thought that was what I wanted?”

  “No. I mean, I do think you want me to keep seeing you, but I said yes because it was what I wanted, too.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  She blew out a long sigh.

  “You don’t have to deal with this entirely on your own, you know.”

  “Yes, I do. I have to. There is no one else to do it.”

  “There might not be someone else to go into that boardroom for you, but there is someone who wants to hear all about it afterward.”

  “Nick, that’s—” She hesitated as his words sunk in. “Wait a minute. How do you know about the board meeting?”

  His smile was charmingly sheepish. “Well, I might be strong enough to stay back here while you fight your own dragons—and let me tell you, your grandmother throws quite a mean flame—but that didn’t mean I wasn’t prepared to let you get toasted without even trying to save you. If you needed me to, that is.”

  She should be mad at him, but she wasn’t. There was something quite wonderful about knowing someone cared about her that much.

  “If it makes you feel any better, I tried to stay in my office.”

  “Lasted five minutes, did you?”

  He grinned. “At the most.” Then he grew more serious. “I am sorry to hear about your grandfather. I missed that part. I know all about obligations, but I want you to remember something, Sunny. No matter what they’ve done for you, given to you, that still does not give them the right to tell you what you will do with the rest of your life.”

  “I know that, Nick. Being here, with you and your family, has shown me that there is more to life than I ever knew. But being around your family has also shown me how important family is. I know it seems like they don’t deserve my dedication, but maybe it’s because I’ve never let them know what I really want from them, what I need. I plan to change that, to not do things I’m uncomfortable with because it makes them comfortable or because it’s expected of me
. I don’t know what I can change, or even if I can change them at all. But I can change me, and I have. Whatever else I’ve learned, I do know I can’t turn my back on the only family I have. Not now.”

  Nick didn’t say anything for a long moment, then he brushed his fingers over her lips and very softly said, “You have family here now, too. Don’t turn your back on us, either.”

  “I don’t want to, Nick.” She framed his face with her hands and kissed him, pouring everything she felt into it, her fears, her confusion…her hopes.

  They were speechless when the kiss ended. Sunny rested her head on his shoulder. “You know,” she said at length, “if anything, I’m being selfish, not ending this right now.”

  He nuzzled her neck. “I already told you I think you need to be more selfish.”

  “You have no idea what you’re getting into, with my family, I mean. My grandfather’s ideas about how the world runs are pretty definite. And my grandmother…well, I’ll warn you now, she won’t like the idea of you and me together.”

  Nick leaned back so he could look directly into her eyes. “Mi cara mia, if you can survive my family, I think it’s only fair I be expected to survive yours.”

  Sunny didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She still had reservations about not ending this right now. She was only doing this to please herself. But maybe, considering what she faced, she damn well deserved at least that.

  14

  SHE WAS GONE. Nick stared blindly at the columns of numbers on the spreadsheet in front of him. He knew she was only a phone call away, less than a twenty-minute drive. It didn’t help. She wasn’t here. She wasn’t upstairs playing with one of his nieces, or in the kitchen swearing under her breath in perfect Italian. She wasn’t in his arms, in his bed, within his reach.

  And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

  He knew he should be thanking his lucky stars she hadn’t chosen to end their relationship completely, but he was having a hard time feeling generous at the moment. He wanted—

  What did he want?

  B.J. barged into his office.

  “Don’t you ever knock?”

  “Not since you walked in on me in the bathroom the day I was trying on my first bra, nope.”

  “Boy, talk about holding a grudge.”

  “Well, if you hadn’t gone and explained, in excruciating detail, just what it looked like to Bobby Tannenhall, I would have forgiven you sooner.”

  Nick’s mood was improving. “Imagine if he could see you now,” he said, motioning to her bustline, which had expanded exponentially with her growing belly.

  “Ha, ha. Very funny.”

  A distraction was what he needed. And that was the one thing his sisters could usually be guaranteed to provide. “So, what’s up?”

  She carefully sat across from him, her expression turning serious. “I wanted to talk to you about Sunny.”

  He groaned silently. Not the distraction he was hoping for. “What about her?” He knew that with B.J. there would be no use trying to evade the topic. It was best to get it over with.

  “We miss her.”

  Like I don’t? he wanted to shout. His head started to pound.

  “All of us, Nick. The kids, everyone. She’s like a part of the family now.”

  “She has her own family, Beej. Her grandfather is sick, and she had to go back to help her grandmother.”

  “Then she’ll come back, right?”

  Nick refrained from swearing, barely. “I don’t know. I know her family wants her to work for the company.” Hell, they wanted her to run the damn company. He looked right at B.J. and gave voice to his greatest fear. “She might not come back. Ever.”

  “Well, that’s unacceptable. You have to do something.”

  He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “B.J., she’s a grown woman. An adult with obligations to other people besides us. Even if there was something I could do, I wouldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

  His baby sister was quiet for a moment. “But what if she really wanted you to?”

  Nick sat back in his chair. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at here. Sunny has to make her own choices. She doesn’t want me or anyone else making them for her.”

  B.J. stood and leaned her formidable bulk across his desk. “She’s letting her family make her choices for her and she’s miserable with them. She’s happier here. So, as long as she’s going to please other people, why not please you. And us. In the end, it will please her, too.”

  “It scares me when your logic begins to make sense.” He stood up. He needed to get out of here, clear his head before he started believing his sister might have a good point.

  She put her hand on his arm. “Think about it, Nick. She’s unhappy.”

  “Would you have liked it if we interfered when you decided to marry John?”

  She didn’t look at all abashed. In fact, she smacked him and laughed. “What do you mean? You did try to stop me! And you love John, so that won’t fly.”

  “Well, it was for your own good. You were too young.”

  “What do you know about how I felt?”

  “Exactly.” He smiled when he saw understanding dawn on her face. “How do you know what Sunny really feels? She loves her family, too. She’s in a very difficult spot, and I refuse to add more pressure.” He kissed his sister’s cheek.

  “What was that for?”

  “For caring. About Sunny. And about me.” He squeezed her shoulders. “As hard as it is, we have to let her make her own choices.”

  B.J. frowned even as she nodded in agreement. Then she looked at him, more serious than he ever recalled her looking, and said, “But you can’t just step back and let her family overwhelm her. If she’s going to make a choice, she has to have one to make. At least let her know how you feel, Nick. Let her know what she’s choosing between.” She lifted a hand when he tried to speak. “I’m not saying pressure her to pick you. I’m just saying, don’t let her go without a fight. Maybe she needs to know that. That she’s important enough to fight for.”

  Joey chose that moment to barge in. “Hey, Nicco! And the baby-making machine. What’s up?” He slapped Nick on the shoulder and laid a wet, smacking kiss on his slightly older sister’s cheek. “Why does everyone look so depressed? Something happen?”

  “Sunny’s gone,” B.J. said flatly. “I’m just making sure this big lug here realizes what he’s letting slip away.”

  “I know she’s gone from here,” Joey said. “That’s why I’m back. I need to sublet my apartment again. And thanks, everyone, for asking about me and telling me how missed I was, by the way.”

  Nick and B.J. rolled their eyes.

  “I don’t see the problem,” Joey insisted. “She’s still in Chicago, right? Can’t she work at Chandler’s and still hang out with us?”

  “That’s the plan,” Nick said.

  Joey shrugged. “Then go with the flow, my man.”

  “So says the sage twenty-one-year-old.” B.J. laughed dryly. “Oh, to be so young and naive again.”

  Joey rolled his eyes. “I get no respect.” He kissed his sister again and punched Nick in the chest, then said, “I’m off to see Mama Bennie. She’ll be happy to see me.”

  Nick rubbed his chest as Joey banged out the door. “What if he’s right?”

  “Oh, please. Joey’s idea of romancing a woman is to spring for two hot dogs from Pete down on Second.”

  “I’m serious. Maybe it will work.”

  “She’s been gone six days.”

  “Seven.”

  “Okay, seven. You want to give me the hours and minutes, too?”

  Nick grinned despite himself. “Don’t be a smart-ass.” But he could have told her to the second, and they both knew it.

  “So, she’s been gone seven days, and exactly how many times have you seen her?”

  “None. But that’s not her fault,” he added quickly. “She’s had to take on an enormous responsibility right away with the mer
ger, and there’s no spare time right now. But that will change.”

  “Will it?”

  Nick opened his mouth, then shut it again. Finally, he said, “I hope so, Beej. I hope so.”

  It was his sister’s turn to stand on her toes and strain past her belly to kiss her brother’s cheek. “Make sure of it, okay? Like I said, don’t just let her disappear. You deserve her, Niccolo. And more important, she deserves you. Don’t forget that. She’s the one. You know it, we all know it. If you don’t at least try, you’ll never forgive yourself.”

  Nick watched his sister walk out of his office, but he didn’t move for several long moments.

  You’ll never forgive yourself.

  “Yeah,” he said softly, “but what if I try, and fail. I’m not sure I’ll forgive myself for that, either.”

  SUNNY MADE SURE the door was locked before she kicked her heels halfway across the ocean of blue Aubusson that carpeted her office floor. If she thought it wouldn’t bring all three of her secretaries and her personal executive assistant running, she’d have given a good long primal scream, as well.

  “Torture,” she muttered. “Pure torture.” She wondered what the executive heads of Chandler’s sundry branches would think if she decided to wear her comfortable black kitchen shoes from D’Angelos. Even picturing the polite distaste on their pinched faces did little to improve her mood. “Stubborn sons of—” She bit off the last part, a groan of relief slipping out as she rubbed her feet.

  Even as she worked the kinks out of her toes, her mind was buzzing with possible solutions to the latest round of problems with the merger. She needed to get that report from Roger and then have a talk with Estelle and Paul before the meeting this afternoon. She glanced at the clock and realized lunch had come and gone again, and made another mental note to start penciling in working lunches. She spent a second fantasizing about Carlo’s fettucine, then a solution to the human resource department problem popped into her mind and she shuttled to her desk and started making notes.